Post a "Good Bye, Scott McClellan" haiku...

[Crankie Avalon]

Gannon's buddy...
The bigger the cushion
the better the pushin'?

[Orrex]

1. My first offering:

Goodbye to your lies
Lies lies lies lies lies lies lies
Lies lies lies lies lies

[Tin Man]

73. bahahawa - good one!

:rofl:

[HeeBGBz]

169. Haiku FU

Snotty Scotty gone
Who's gonna lie for Bush now?
You won't be missed, punk.

Edited to say: I put this in the wrong spot. Sorry, Orrex.

[thoughtanarchist]

2. $0.02

Alas, poor Scottie
Liar for the smirking chimp
We all knew him well

[atomic-fly]

3. here's mine...video format

http://tinyurl.com/fn6bb

[cdb]

4. traditional 5-7-5 haiku

fuck you lying sack
of shit on a podium
you should be ashamed

traditional 5-7-5 haiku

[TexasLawyer]

18. ding, ding, ding

biggest laugh for me (so far). :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Vinca]

177. OMG - I nearly peed my pants laughing over this one! nt

[yurbud]

206. that's a good one

[Loge23]

242. My personal favorite! (eom)

[Crankie Avalon]

5. When is it a lie?

When is it a lie?
When my thin lips are moving.
Next question, poodles...

[deutsey]

Very good

:evilgrin:

[SpiralHawk]

6. O my stars !

Did you have to remind us of the Bush White House male prostitute, Jeff Gannon?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Gannon

I mean, really, this is just so embarassing for the family-values Republicons, and the George AWOL Bush White House.

Can't we just forget about the Bush White House male prostitute Jeff Gannon?

[skypilot]

7. I will miss you, Scott.

Just kidding. Screw you and the
Horse you rode in on.

[Mandate My Ass]

8. OK

Scottie takes the fall
Can't shovel shit like Ari
Nor that high either

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

9. Here's mine

Scott has lied his last,
Slinking away like Gollem,
Slime trailing behind.

[northofdenali]

172. ewwwwwwwwwwwww - My eyes! My eyes!

Good one! ewwwwwwwwww.

[Occulus]

10. Here's one:

Entertainment loss:
So much more than good, clean fun.
Darkening my life.

Dripping with :sarcasm:, of course.

[rock]

11. Scottie don't let the door

Hit you in the ass
It stinks enough right now

[trackfan]

12. ok

Just like your boss Bush,
you're a lying piece of shit.
Good riddance, asshole!

[Mandate My Ass]

14. Now that's a keeper

:thumbsup:

[dusmcj]

13. good bye dough boy

good bye dough boy
so polished so buffed
empty head round mouth

bull shit floats
like clouds out of mouth
wounded propriety defends

[Crankie Avalon]

32. "empty head round mouth" made me laugh hard for some reason...

...and the second one is very good.

[spuddonna]

34. OOOH! That's a good one!!

:applause:

"bull shit floats
like clouds out of mouth"
LMAO!!! Excellent!!!

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

39. lol! Wonderful!!!!

[LeftHander]

96. Mine...in 5-7-5

podium liar
talking false and losing face
leaves in disgrace now

[Mandate My Ass]

15. #2

Another one gone
Bring on the next lying shill
Acting impordend

[spuddonna]

36. LOL!

"acting impordend!!" YES! That's exactly how he said it!! Good one!!

[Mandate My Ass]

41. Ack!

That word drove me crazier than "nukular" or any of the other malapropisms, and he used it all the time. It sets my teeth on edge to even type it. :crazy:

[TexasLawyer]

16. Here's mine--

Smiling scribes listen--
Dour grasshopper's lies flutter,
fall, settle-- like snow.

[TexasLawyer]

31. Somebody stop me!

These haikus are so fun. Here's another effort:

Sparkling kool-aid.
Dazzling-hued poison, quaffed
At Scotty's last stand.

[Crankie Avalon]

33. Very eastern...

...like a whole new way of seeing things. :hippie:

[cali]

17. OK, I'm up for that

Spring comes, leaves unfurl
Scott you always made me hurl
With your daily lies.

[katinmn]

254. :-) Doesn't it feel good to say good-bye?

:)

[nicknameless]

296. Woo-hoo! Excellent!

With a rhyme, no less.

:toast:

[progressivebydesign]

19. I'll see if I can conjure up a haiku for ya..

Dog on the floor
Scotty at work
both stink. Lying.

[debbierlus]

20. Mine is entitled, SHAME

Ahem.....

Do you feel used, boy?
Disposable whore, ridden long
Filthy, put away wet

[spuddonna]

42. Whoa! That's like, "Deliverance" Haiku! lol

Most harsh... and excellent! :evilgrin:

[debbierlus]

94. I thought it was on point!

Thanks!}(

[Felix Mala]

246. That's excellent... I'd love to hear his answer.

[flygal]

287. I love it!

[Arugula Latte]

21. That's an ongoing

investigation that I
will not comment on

[debbierlus]

22. Oh, bravo!

[Crankie Avalon]

29. Woohoo!

Nice one! :applause:

[spuddonna]

38. LMAO!!! See? If only we'd known Snotty was talking to us in Haiku...

... Nah, we'd still hate him. LOL

Good one! :yourock:

[0rganism]

60. oooh SNAP!

hit that one out of the park, methinks

[Tin Man]

75. Who knew Scotty spoke haiku? LOL - good one!

:rofl:

[Critters2]

81. Brilliant!!!

:applause: :applause: :applause:

[Arugula Latte]

98. Aw, Shucks, guys ...

:blush:

[mark11727]

132. Damn, that's good....!

:evilgrin:

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

261. My tribute to your awesome post!!!

Oregonian
I genuflect in respect
to brilliant haiku.

:yourock: MKJ

[Arugula Latte]

274. Jeez! I'm verklempt!

I never expected to get such adulation - I actually thought it was a fairly obvious poem. But thanks for the props, BHP and all!

:loveya: :grouphug: :toast:

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

305. LOL, YW, and how fortuitous that your screen name has 5 syllables!

:hi: MKJ

[Chiyo-chichi]

23. mine

Scotty's departure
is an ongoing matter.
We cannot comment.

ah, ya beat me to it!

another

Scotty is leaving.
Who will ignore Helen now?
Tony Snow from Fox.

[spuddonna]

46. Yeah, who will take Puffy's place?

Good one! I wonder if Snow will be next? Then we'll all be making 'snow job' jokes... :7

[0007]

24. I can't think of anything vile enough to fit the description of this

asshole shill........I just know that Black Fate will crawl into Scotty "Freedom Loving" McClellan's asshole and make it more rotten than it is.

[katinmn]

255. awwww

you're really gonna miss the little fella.

:rofl:

[Binka]

25. I'm In

Vapid Moonface Scott
Puffy Blithering Toady
Please Eat Shit And Die

[spuddonna]

50. lol That's like "Samurai Haiku"...

Clear, concise, and then a sword to the gut! Excellent! :headbang:

[SlavesandBulldozers]

99. nice

:thumbsup:

[katinmn]

256. LOL!

:rofl:

Good one. I love this thread!

[marions ghost]

26. c ya scottie

heckuva job scottie --
you obfuscated well
lied so professionally
and committed just the right sins of omission

for your service to the country
your engraved presidential seal tie tack
is on backorder


(maybe the last 3 lines would qualify as haiku)

[spuddonna]

52. Anyone that can work obfuscated into a poem...

... deserves a thumbs up! :thumbsup:

"Your engraved presidential seal tie tack is on backorder" LMAO! "You'll receive them along with your balls that we confiscated on your first day..."

[marions ghost]

61. thanx

yeah I thought 'obfuscated' sounds vaguely obscene --"Scottie, you nasty little obfuscator" (Marlon Brando)

[HamdenRice]

27. No more scottacue!

Mediocrity,
The press hack takes a dive.
No more Scottacue.

[KyuzoGator]

28. The best one yet.

Lie lie lie lie lie
lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
lie lie lie lie lie

[Fridays Child]

30. Spring is in the air

Spring is in the air
Cherry blossoms and baseball
Scott, you're outta there

[spuddonna]

54. I hope we get many more nice spring surprises just like this! :) n/t

[sendero]

183. Your's wins..

... being the first to include a seasonal reference as required in true Haiku :)

[Fridays Child]

220. Aww, thanks. I was going for the technical points...

...not being much of a poet. :)

[Ignis]

35. hi & bye ku - Scottie's nemesis

scaredy scottie-cat
helen has a question too
wont you call on her?

[spuddonna]

55. Exactly! God, it was always great to see her grill him...

Ok, that inspired me! Here's mine, from Snotty's view about Helen...

Helen - front row stares!
Think I soiled my underwear!
Sweat beads on my chin...

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

37. Mine... 5-7-5 Haiku...... To Snottie

Delighted you're gone
Your lies no longer pollute
The peace of my home

[spuddonna]

62. I like that! It is like seeing the garbage being taken out...

Libby, Rummy, Scott...
Put altogether - result?
Lies, more lies, damned lies!

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

77. Yep! Getting rid of negative energy garbage! I like yours too!

[spuddonna]

80. Yeah! It's funny, but after writing that I did feel better!

Psychic garbage day! LOL!!! :)

[willing dwarf]

306. This has a lovely open-ended haiku surprise last line.

I like the way "no longer pollute" seems so universal, while "the peace of my home" is so concrete and such a contrast to the lies which pollute. It draws the distinction between him and you so clearly.

[rucky]

40. I reject the thought...

Of a more idiotic
Press Secretary

[Bluebear]

43. Miss Helen Thomas/outlasted the little shit/there is some justice.

[TexasLawyer]

45. !!!

Love it!

[petgoat]

53. !!!! agreed nt

[spuddonna]

57. woo hoo! Good one!! :) n/t

[Alamom]

135. BRAVO !!!!!!!!! n/t

[bear425]

215. Yours is the best! n/t

[katinmn]

257. amen

[yodermon]

44. Thanks to my fifth click

All can now see Scottie's shame
in all its glory

:toast:

[burythehatchet]

47. Les, what's your question

Les what's your question
Indian guy you are next
How much time to go

[spuddonna]

64. lol Yeah, that was it!

You could hear his brain churning away... "Uh oh! Gotta call on the Indian guy! Helen and David want to ask another question!" :7

[Arugula Latte]

139. "Indian guy you are next"

:rofl: !!

[RobertSeattle]

48. I can't answer that

I can't answer that
Under Investigation
I can't answer that

[spuddonna]

76. These are all so good!

I love it, how his own quotes are actually haikus!

"He was a poet and he didn't even know it!" (groan!) :7

[petgoat]

49. Seasons

Seasons pass, wheels turn
These questions are exhausting
why oh did I lie?

[spuddonna]

78. Yeah, and how many people have died because of the lies they've told?

Here's another:

He spoke in haiku,
Nothing but lies. Moon Face Scott,
How many have died?

[Puglover]

51. Your fat flabby ass

disappearing through a door
don't let it, hit you

[cascadiance]

56. Here's mine in 5-7-5...

Scottie, why go now?
"Again, it's an ongoing
investigation..."

[berni_mccoy]

58. I'm not going to

I'm not going to

Comment on an ongoing

Investigation

[fooj]

137. Most excellent!

Perfect!:hi:

[katinmn]

258. What more can you say about Snotty Scotty?

That's the only legacy he leaves.

[TygrBright]

59. These are priceless! Can someone... (EarlG hinthinthint...?) put a...

..."best of" collection on the home page?

laughing hysterically,
Bright

[NRaleighLiberal]

63. Big Lies, Big Face

The lies, the face grow
ever larger - but now gone
who is next to lie?

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

65. fuck fuck fuck fuck you

you dirty son of a bitch
you can go to hell

[NRaleighLiberal]

66. Large target

If his ass is as
Big as his face, there is just
more to kick....farewell!

[NRaleighLiberal]

67. Peas Be With You....

Scottie Boy and Rove
Two peas in a big big pod
one gone, one to go

[Chiyo-chichi]

68. Spring in DC

The cherry blossoms
and the press secretary
have fallen at last

[Arugula Latte]

141. Ah, and the Aspens turn in unison.

:thumbsup:

[katinmn]

259. :-) I like it.

:thumbsup:

[NRaleighLiberal]

69. last one for today

"I did a job that
was impordunt to the man* -
Terra now struck me"

[NRaleighLiberal]

92. Terra is Impordunt

[NRaleighLiberal]

70. ChoppaFarts

Got into the chopper
Karl farted, we waited, air
did not clear..must leave!

[spuddonna]

88. BWAHAHAHA!!!

These are all so awesome! omg - I LOVE this one!!! Funny and an excellent metaphor! I don't think the stink will every leave ANY of them!!

[NRaleighLiberal]

93. Renamed...

[0rganism]

71. I tried to put some natural imagery into these...

Simple scrub-oak Scott
Still longs for graceful swaying
Of willow Fleischer

The winds of springtime
Carry pollen through air like
Lies from Scotty's lips

Scott McClellan leaves
The planet turns and bush brings out
Another liar

[Sacajawea]

188. Organism...that last one is EXCELLENT!

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[0rganism]

221. Thanks -- nothing more inspiring than seeing the jackasses exit stage left

I'm looking forward to an inspirational year. :woohoo:

[Dulcinea]

72. Here's mine:

I am full of crap.

I can't take it any more.

Gone, gone, daddy, gone

[Caoimhe]

74. mine

the aspen roots are
keeping him upright, bloated
and his anus full


and another:

to lie so often
and not be a floor rug
is Snot's legacy

and another from Scotty's viewpoint:

that old Arab gal
sitting down near the front
can't hurt me no more! (with Ann Coulter reference)

[IdaBriggs]

79. Ooh! Here is my first effort --

You loved your country
But you worked for Evil Bush
You are a Traitor

[Ganja Ninja]

82. How's this?

You bloated lying weasel
Your flop sweat betrayed you
Find honest work lard ass

[Mandate My Ass]

102. lol

excellent.:toast:

[uppityperson]

83. favorite quotes

I appreciate
Ongoing investigation
I already said

[Patsy Stone]

84. Haiku!

Scotty, I'll miss ya.
At least when you lied to me,
you tap danced as well.

[Gregorian]

85. Why?

You lied
To cover up
They died

[Taxloss]

86. Mine:

"You there, at the back ...
Uh ... In answer, we'll 'stay the course'."
It got old quickly.

[petgoat]

87. Questions on questions/Easy lies have turned on me/Time for golf and sleep

nt

[SaveElmer]

89. Ok..Stephanie Miller Inspired

Puffy McMoonface
Liar liar pants on Fire
Puffy McMoonface


Sorry...not much of a poet!

[Deep13]

165. on that same note

Puffy McMoonface
Bush's White House spokesliar
Chummy McShark bait

[mapatriot]

90. My haiku

Lived with your lies
Did you really know?
Our children sent to the slaughter
While you had High Tea in the Rose Garden

[FraDon]

91. Hey Scott!

The truth, the whole truth,
(Hey Scott! Are you listening?)
and NOTHING but the truth.

[spuddonna]

210. That would be Fitz's haiku! ;)

And welcome to DU! :hi:

[The Witch]

95. How's about a limerick instead?

There once was a fellow named Scotty
Who faced some dilemmas so knotty
He chose to resign
Cause when he's on the line
He looks like he needs to go potty!

[klook]

113. Made me snicker out loud - thanks; here's another

There once was a man named McLellan
Who squirmed while the press corps was yellin'
He sweated and fretted
When questions weren't vetted
Where's our refund for the snake oil he was sellin'?


I was going to use "A handbasket is what he can go to hell in" for the last line, but that was a little labored.

[HughBeaumont]

97. To Scotty 2 Snotty -

You lie like a dog
You're shaped like a marshmallow
You sleep with the chimps

[Ganja Ninja]

100. I think I'm getting the hang of this.

Mouthpiece of evil scum
You are damned for eternity
And so’s your momma

[malmapus]

101. Here's my try

Bye Scott McClellan
No answers you would give
Let the door hit you

[FuzzyDicePHL]

103. 2 quick submissions (both Gannon-related):

Need to look real good,
A softball question 'bout George...
Ask that bald male whore.

A White House press pass,
A come-hither Bulldog gaze,
Sucks we got found out.

[klook]

106. "come-hither Bulldog gaze" - heh

Good one!

[FuzzyDicePHL]

117. Why thanks :)

n/t

[spuddonna]

212. LMAO!!!

"come-hither bulldog gaze"! LOL!!! Oh man, I'm having too much fun reading these!

[klook]

104. Career options

buh-bye, Scottie Mac
what's next for you now, my son?
speaking tour or jail?

[klook]

105. For Helen...

the best part of all
Helen Thomas is still here
outlasted the twirp

[iamahaingttta]

107. Who?

Meet the new liar
The same as the old liar
Won't get fooled again!

[imax2268]

108. BYE BYE...

Lying FUCKER...!

[derby378]

109. OK, here's mine

One Tough Grandma's son
Spoke a lot but never said
Anything of worth

[daveskilt]

110. small and puffy man

small and puffy man
bluster and obfuscation
enough, joke's over


dumb repetition
of "I think I answered that"
grew old - leave now twit

[spuddonna]

214. We have another winner!

You used the word obfuscation successfully in your haiku! You are awarded the big Thumbs Up! :thumbsup: award! lol

See post #26 for another winner's entry! :evilgrin:

[willing dwarf]

304. I like yours and so stole your first line

Small and puffy man
Like peep in microwave too long
Bitter yellow fluff


Though I haven't read them all, your second one is my favorite so far.

[anarch]

111. I like a haiku

So long, you jackass!
You stupid moon-faced asshole.
Rot in Hell, fucker.

[Swamp Rat]

112. Boiled Toad

Scottie McClellan
It's what's for dinner

[petgoat]

186. Thanks, I already ate. nt

[Deb]

114. To Scotty-

A name I will miss
Can't think of anything else
So long, Puffy McMoonface

[EarlG]

115. Here's mine

Scott, Scott! Why, why, why?
Woe, woe! Wah! Wah! Woe! Woe! Why?
Woe, woe! Snow... Snow? Snow!

[Crankie Avalon]

116. Resigned so I can

Spend more time with my prison.
Daddy? New "punk," here..

[Lib Grrrrl]

118. OK...Try This - Beam Yourself Out, Scotty....

Can't handle the press
So beam yourself out, Scotty
You made a big mess

[npincus]

120. here's mine:

porcine grin malice
fouls my TV
Lies darken the air

[alarcojon]

119. I love these threads!

Lying sack of shit
...ongoing investigation....
We knew ye too well

[DinahMoeHum]

121. Ohhhhhkaaaaaay, let's try this 5-7-5. . .

Bye bye Scotty boy,
and don't let the door hit ya
where the Lord split ya!


:evilgrin:

[Crankie Avalon]

122. Your thin pale lips move

My plumpen little pigeon.
Squawk, self-righteous hen.

[Stuckinthebush]

123. This is fun!!!

Oh, Scotty, Scotty
For how much did you sell it?
That soul is long gone.

[fromthegroundup]

124. haiku for you

Scotty McClellan
ex-mouthpiece for a villain
no one will miss him

[wryter2000]

125. Bush's presstitute

Bush's presstitute
Now that your pimp has screwed you
Spin on this, asshole

[Zhade]

126. Hmmm.

Shaded in black lies,
rising tide beneath his feet,
rats always jump first.

[WeRQ4U]

127. Here Goes,

You are a schmuck Scott
I wish you only the worst
And you can quote me.

[Crankie Avalon]

128. Did Helen Thomas

Ruffle your feathers, plump hen?
Waddle to next nest.

[blondeatlast]

322. Love it! nt

[mark11727]

129. All righty then...

with pants on fire
scottie at last says good bye
his behind aflame

[tishaLA]

130. ....

Puffy McMoonface
Sweating behind podiums
Despotic chimp smirks.

[meowfire]

131. This is fun

Lying's not easy
Propaganda takes its toll
My soul has been lost

I do need a break
Spend more time with family
Who will lie for Bush?

[The Wielding Truth]

149. Nice job and welcome, Meow!

:hi:
My turn.

McClellan,you got too close to reality.
Couldn't cope with lying
and defending BushCo.World.
Tell me how hard you'll be trying
and pretending it paid so much more,
than a life of shallow scapegoat integrity.

[izzybeans]

133. Haiku Hell (uv a job)

Puffy McMoon Face
Got Caught up in the Rat Race
Bye Propagandist

[npincus]

134. pass the hot sauce fast

the piggie flees his
fiery fateful roast

[Lautremont]

136. Haiku:

All in the press room
thinking of the same cartoon.
Which one? Well, the Shmoo.

Tanka:

Long days of lying
they are all behind us now
leaving only more
lies and made-up facts to come
from hideous podium

Haiku:

Call the men in white
Fumigators - the James H.
Brady Room still stinks

[NewWaveChick1981]

138. Hmmm...

My turn:

Scott has peeved Helen
Thomas White House Press Corp you
lie to no more

Another one:

Stammering, lying,
Spinning, nose like Pinnochio
Leave already!

[Buck Rabbit]

140. Sympathy for Satan's minion.

Scott loyal soldier
Used discarded pile of trash
Outcast by his lord.

[Mad_Dem_X]

147. Nice! These are all so good!

Who knew that Snotty could be so inspiring??

[Alamom]

142. "Stupid Cupid" has left the building..........

Scott McClellan (born February 14, 1968 in Austin, Texas)

[Mist]

143. Just found out about Snotty leaving less than an hour ago! FWIW:

Puffy McMoonface
So fond of saying nothing
Adios, you freak

[melissinha]

144. HA!

Poll numbers tanking
Bush had to throw someone out
In a straight jacket

[Cogito_ergo_Democrat]

145. Goodbye Scotty

Credibility?
I sure as heck don't have it.
Is Fox News hiring?

[SteppingRazor]

146. Mine:

Scotty McClellan
You lied so often and well
Who could replace you?

[roguevalley]

148. okay ...

I'm not buyin'
what you're sellin'
mcclellan.

Not a haiku but suscinct.

There once was a twit named McClellan,
There was no market for what he was sellin'.
So he pulled out and left,
And no one was bereft.
And that is all I am tellin'.

[Mad_Dem_X]

151. Goodbye, McClellan

Goodbye, McClellan
Good riddence to bad rubbish
Game over, Liar.

[geniph]

150. Don't let the door hit you in your giant puffy ass, Snotty

Scotty's going to cry
Helen asked a hard question!
She's such a meanie!

Did Scott shit himself?
He sure rushed out of here quick
After that last lie

Scott misses Jeff so!
Not just the softball "questions"
More the leather pants

[Mad_Dem_X]

152. Leather pants - LOL! n/t

[spuddonna]

222. That's gold, pure gold! lmao!!

'did scott shit himself?' Ok, I can't help it, I am cackling over that second one! It's all my kids' fault - neverending potty humor here! :rofl:

[AtomicKitten]

153. mine

investigations
ongoing can't comment boy
try Lysol on soul

[geniph]

154. And another

Titanic deck chairs
Keep on rearranging them
Rats will still jump ship

[Warren DeMontague]

155. Fat Man, Little Coat

Beady eyes sweats like Nixon
Um, Bye Bye, Lardass.

[Crankie Avalon]

297. "Fat Man, Little Coat" HAH!

:7

[geniph]

156. and more!

Rovian puppet
Conscienceless lying lowlife
Gitmo awaits you

Rock on porch with Shrub
Both of you can share a cell
With Dick and Rummy

[geniph]

168. still more!

Bush never said that!
We don't need no stinkin' facts!
Facts are what WE say!

Fitzmas comes early:
Fleeing from the indictments,
the rats all jump ship

[TexasLawyer]

197. oh you are gooood!

[Inland]

157. In your pajamas

nursing a cup a coffee
Mornings without lies.

[Arugula Latte]

158. otra vez:

Your propganda
has been catapulted, Scott --
Time for a Snow job?

[Plaid Adder]

159. Deer in the headlights...

Deer in the headlights,
Doughy of body and mind--
You were no Ari.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[Catchawave]

160. Love Haiku:

Scotty McClellan
Oh dear sure gonna miss ya
Like boils on my ass


Cowards like Scotty
Protect criminal BushCo
America dies

[graywarrior]

161. Scott toilet paper

is what you've become while
Helen smells like rose

[spuddonna]

218. LOL! Good one! :) n/t

[babsbunny]

162. Good Bye Puffy McMoonface!

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!

[A HERETIC I AM]

163. Behold! My straight face......

Behold! My straight face
I obfuscate the best, yes?
Time to write a book

[Rob H.]

164. My attempts

Ari Fleischer gone
Now Scotty exits as well
Contemptible turds

Who will replace him?
Do snakes have feelings, too?
Many lies, no shame

His lies shield monsters
But he feels no shame for them
Scott McClellan, whore

Shameless, lying shill
Spinning took its toll on him
Now he's conscience-free

This should be easy
At least, that's what Ari said
Now I'm quitting, too

I would feel remorse
If only I had a soul
But ha! I never did


Scotty to the WH press corps:

Ask me anything
I will blame the Democrats
And you will believe

Answering questons
These idiots believe me!
Sweet, gullible dupes

[spuddonna]

226. Wow! Nice collection!

Contemptible turds is perfect! I liked the last one too:"Sweet, gullible dupes" lol

[Rob H.]

311. Thanks!

:hi:

I just realized one of 'em has too many syllables, though. Here's my quick fix:

I would feel remorse
If only I had a soul
But ha! I have none

[understandinglife]

166. true encounter now

your bloated being reflects
meaningless nit dust





Never Forget: George W. Bush willfully violated National Security to cover-up his willful launch of a war of aggression and illegal occupation of Iraq.

[Dukkha]

167. inspired by Dead or Alive song

You spin your lies round
like a record of lies babe
you spun right out now

[Arugula Latte]

170. question haiku:

Does anyone have
Helen Thomas's e-mail?
We should send her this

[spuddonna]

227. Answer haiku:

I think [e-mail] is right
She could spend the entire night
Perusing farewells!
:7

[Chiyo-chichi]

171. a note from W to Scott...

You'll do the same job
on Chris Matthews' TV show
and make more money.

[spuddonna]

230. You forgot the PS...

I think I may need
a bathroom break soon, Scotty.
Is this possible?

Wait, nevermind, Scott!
Condi just came in. She says,
"W, go take a leak!"

I told her I did
But she don't mean that Plame thing...
Why are my pants wet?

:evilgrin:

[omega minimo]

173. crude

[Chiyo-chichi]

237. but funny.

[Botany]

174. fun!

From this podium
Lie lie spin spin spin lie lie
No more Gannon, Why?

[DLnyc]

175. tapestry of lies

hiding fraud, death and torture
threadbare, now thrown out

[Arugula Latte]

176. Damn addictive thread!

Scotty scans the corps
Looking for a Bushco whore
"Yes, Jeff, go ahead."

[lies and propaganda]

178. mine:

Scotty the Liar
My such a great Evader!
On to the next Shill.

[ClickClack]

179. Mr. Gannon, in the rear?

Others have done such a fine job, there's little for me to add.
Cannot resist trying, however. Just two quick 5-7-5 offerings...

Puffy McMoonface
smiling horseshit dispenser
no more questions, please


grinning little man
your lies spilled out in torrents
listeners still knew

[Arugula Latte]

180. Very good, ClickClack.

Welcome to DU! :toast:

[ClickClack]

182. Thanks, and I really like your signature quote! (n/t)

[spuddonna]

231. LOL!

"Smiling horseshit dispenser"!! LMAO!!! :rofl:
All I can imagine is a Pez dispenser with Snotty's head!! LOL Awesome imagery!!

ETA: I forgot to say welcome!! :hi:

[Selteri]

181. Scotty - Spinner

Scott spun Whirlwind faux
Feels dizzy and sick, queasy
Better gone than one.

[Son Of Spy]

184. Goodbye to Scottie

Goodbye to Scottie
We will not miss his spinning
Yep, I am grinning!

[McCamy Taylor]

185. Ummm.....ok here goes...

Truth shattered like glass
Your silence the ebbing tide
Where dark shards still echo


I think Scottie Dont lends himself better to Limerick.

[katty]

187. Scott-it's a town without pity...

(Sung to Gene Pitney's (rest his soul...)
"Town Without Pity"

Hey Scott...

Why do people hurt you so?
Only Cheney really knows
What a
Town without Pity can do...

People talk about how bad we are
Ours is not an easy age
We're like tigers - now
un-caged
What a town without pity can do

Why don't they help us
Try and help us!
Before this grey & granite planet falls apart
How can we keep lies alive?
How can anything survive-when these
little minds tear you in two!

No, it isn't very pretty
what a
town without pity...
Caaannn do!

[elehhhhna]

189. Here, off the top:

Puffy little man
Thinks he is imPORDant but
His carreer's played out.

[DarienComp]

190. mine

Mr. President,
I can no longer take it.
I need to resign.

[Sacajawea]

191. First try at haiku.

Falsehood's handmaiden
Prevaricating harlot
Beam up time, Scottie.

[Crankie Avalon]

298. Very good! (eom)

[Hell Hath No Fury]

192. Scotty...

A festering boil
gone, soon to be forgotten
Ah, blessed relief


O Scotty Mooonface
who will I love to hate now?
I will miss you (not!)


Do you dream Scotty
of hot man on man action?
Dump the beard, Bulldog


Little piggy eyes
narrowed, hiding from the truth
Lie! Spinmaster, lie!


Scotty has the blues
Jettisoned, kicked to the curb
Poor Scotty, tough nuts


Thought you could fool us
spinning yourself dizzy, now
who has the last laugh?


Ashen faced, Scotty M
Daddy gave you the boot, hard
Weep, little sphincter


They fall, one by one
Presidential mouthpieces
Ari, Scotty, next?

[spuddonna]

233. Excellent!

My fav line:"Weep, little sphincter" LOL That's just wonderfully harsh and awesome!

I am not getting any work done becuase of all these awesome poems!!

[Crankie Avalon]

299. "Weep, little sphincter," indeed!!! (eom)

[Texaroo]

193. An obtuse angle...

Ah, our poor Scottie,
On his way home to Texas
Where Momma needs him.

or

Cheers now, 4th Estate,
Since blundering doublespeak
just will not suffice.

[Initech]

194. Mine:

Liars liars liars
Why must you lie all the time?
Cant you please shut up?

Another one:

No more lying for
Bush anymore how about
lying on a cot?

[eppur_se_muova]

195. not a Snotty haiku ... but one for the whole ** maladministration ...

This one is attributed to one "xxdr_zombiexx"

Dead fish upside down
In a barrel in the sun
Pretend there's no smell

[spindrifter]

196. A humble beginning:

Scott, your explanations
gave not a clue.
In the end your nose
just grew.

[redwitch]

198. haiku for scott

Scott you suck up champ
Who will you suck up to now?
Inquiring minds ask.

Gone and forgotten
wave bye to moon faced Scott
What fresh new hell waits?

First Ari, now Scott
Who is next? Who really cares?
When Bush goes, we'll dance.

Dear Scottie poo
We won't have you to kick now.
Damn. It was fun too.

[Ken Burch]

199. OK. here's one

1)

plump message boy, the
news you gave us, haltingly,
never WAS the news.

2)

Mclellan, standing
half-hidden, half-hearted , hewed
hard to the hard line.

[screembloodymurder]

200. Bush to Scotty

You're not lieing with conviction.

[peace13]

201. This is more fun than a Tahoe commercial!

[bigtree]

202. McClellan is gone

The cabal still carries on

I wish I was wrong

[Herman47]

203. A blast from the past in the new cast!

McClellan is gone,
And Ari's undone,
Could it well be,
DAN QUAYLE'S THE ONE?

THINK ABOUT HOW WELL QUAYLE WOULD GO WITH BUSH! HECK, THE REPUGNANTS NEEDN'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT QUAYLE'S INTELLIGENCE: IN THE BUSH II CROWD, HE WOULD ACTUALLY SEEM QUITE SHARP!

:crazy:

[The Backlash Cometh]

204. My first haiku

Lips never quivered,
Gleams of sweat on his cueball
Was his one demise.


I never understood haiku. Was something suppose to rhyme?

[Hell Hath No Fury]

207. No rhymes...

just three lines with 5-7-5 syllables each.

You done good!

[yurbud]

205. I object! Gannon wasn't seeing Scotty, it was...

Baby Bush.

If it was just a staffer seeing Gannon, it would have made more sense to meet him at home.

Only Bush would draw more attention by meeting a male prostitute AWAY from the White House than at the White House.

[Crankie Avalon]

300. Maybe you have a point...

...then I'll be sure to bring up one with Gannon in it when we have our "Post a Good Bye Chimpy Haiku" thread (to be posted sooner than Jan. 20, 2009, hopefully).

[yurbud]

314. anyone compare Bush's at home and away schedule to Gannon WH logs?

[yurbud]

208. a soft timid man...

lied poorly for bigger crooks
soon a prison bitch

[Canuckistanian]

209. Here's mine

Discouraging words
"It's under investigation"
No luck today, Dick

[dave29]

211. oy

he opened his mouth
out came a stream of bullshit
and then he got paid

[bear425]

213. Here's mine

Puffy McMoonface
won't lie to Helen Thomas
from his prison cell

[Democrat 4 Ever]

219. My humble effort -

Snotty Scotty go...
but leave an address behind
Fitzgerald will soon call.

[Generic Other]

216. Mine's sad

On Scottie's departure:

We all laugh out loud
but nothing has really changed--
Bush still president.

[Lib Grrrrl]

217. Or A Limerick

There once was a man named McClellan
Who had trouble with a lady named Helen
He accused her of having terrorist ties
Cause she wouldn't believe his lies
So now he can't hawk the snake oil he was sellin'

[steelyboo]

223. heh, thats what I was thinking

There was a spokeman named McCellan,
Whose lies were so bad they are smellin,
he blindly followed Bush,
and secretly took it in the tush,
Bet he will make a great felon.

[steelyboo]

229. another

There once was a man named McClellan,
Who shoveled the shit Bush was sellin',
For the lies he would tell,
He'll go straight to hell,
But I hope first he ends up felon.

[LuckyLib]

268. Scottie just begs for limmericks. Here's one:

There once was a pressman named Scottie,
Who got his drawers all in a knottie.
He labored and tried,
He stumbled and lied,
and finally did exit the potty!

[cpousnret]

224. scotty

take a hike asshole.theirs openings in iraq,take one.peace

[SalmonChantedEvening]

225. OK :)

Farewell Ole Puffy
Thou muse of insanity
Golden silence reigns

[Patsy Stone]

228. It's addictive!

This gun's for hire.
No lie too big or too small --
Service with a smile.

--

Dear monster.com,
Do you have a job for a
champion liar?

[Nitrogenica]

232. Not quite a haiku, but effective..

Bush Lies
McClellan Lies
Right wingers lie
Their children lie

Lead by example

[sofa king]

234. Enjoy your freedom

Who knows how long it will last?
Dictator's bitch-boy

Tell the truth one time
And it comes back to bite you
No tooth marks on Scott

Dear Scott McClellan,
Have you ever considered
Selling broke used cars?

[BluePatriot]

235. Mine...

Technically a haiku refers to nature, right? Meh, here goes.

Yak yak yak yak yak
Tongue flapping in the breeze
Silence, no more lies.

Ok...i guess a breeze is nature...I win ^_^

[NNadir]

236. War on Terror sigh

War on terror sigh,
The truth is terror to some,
Like Scott gone at last.

[PegDAC]

238. Buh-bye, Puffy!

Puffy McMoonface
Stephanie will miss you, you
Lying sack of crap.
:toast:

[Chiyo-chichi]

239. Dear Scott:

Dear Scott McClellan:
When you lie for George Dubya,
It makes Jesus cry.

Love,
The Democratic Underground

[SammyBlue]

240. My Haiku

Good bye, good ridance
Your boss will join you soon, Scott
As your new cellmate!

[MoonRiver]

241. I'll miss laughing at your expense,

but, there's always the Idiot in Chief to keep the jokes going. :rofl:

[GreenCommie]

243. An attempt

Scotty is leaving
Peddled many lies for Bush
Medal of Freedom

[madeline_con]

244. As cherry trees bloom

Misadministration's sword
Glistens in the sun

[Loge23]

245. Goodbye to bad rubbish!t

I cannot comment
A familiar refrain
Truthiness is safe
(used without permission from Steven Colbert)

[Norrin Radd]

247. With a nod to the Thompson Twins:

Lies lies lies
Yeah. Bye
Bye bye YEAH!

[Felix Mala]

248. I miss him already

Each question led to
A wild new reality
A slumberland lost

[BlueJac]

249. You have been BEAMED UP SCOTTY......

You are a slick talker and a constant liar......I hope you get what you got coming for what you have spent three years doing............lying to the press and the American People!

[bleever]

250. My honest reaction:

Scotty, we hardly
Knew you, and yet somehow it's
Way more than enough.

[runawayjim]

251. No better time for a first post!

flushed-cheeked indignance,
well-pressed pants ablaze with flame,
i say nothing now.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

252. Welcome to DU runawayjim!!

:hi: :toast:

[katinmn]

253. LOL!

Good one.:toast:

Welcome, runawayjim!

[Patsy Stone]

260. Welcome to DU, runawayjim!

Excellent first post. :thumbsup:

[spuddonna]

264. That's perfect!

Snotty to a tee! Flushed cheek indignance! lol!

Welcome! :hi:

[blondeatlast]

323. Excellent!

Gotta admire your timing, too!

Welcome to DU!

:toast:

[emald]

262. okay, a try at this I'll do;

Snotty McFellate
Onging Investigations
will keep his mouth shut

[Bob K]

263. Buh bye pudgy.

Smoldering tatters
hanging from my belt loops
Wha happened?

:kick: :cry:

[vanlassie]

265. At long last our wish

that by Spring you'd by gone.
Could you take your boss, too?

Vanlassie

[IDemo]

266. My attempt -

Deer in headlights look
"I answered that question,, next?"
Puffy's roadkill now.

[grannylib]

267. OK here goes

Farewell, you liar
You weren't fooling anyone
But stupid people

[orleans]

269. Scottie Stuck In The Middle

Gonna miss those nights
Those 3-ways with Jeff and George
(Laura was sleeping)

[Aviation Pro]

270. Ahem...

Fuck you ass fucker
Go fuck snot stupid fuck Scott
Fuck you ass fucker

[Evergreen Emerald]

271. Ode to Scotty:

History will remember
You as the giver of the lies
Their opaque messenger

[Olney Blue]

276. Go back to Texas.

Truth died daily here
Screens of smoke, calm deceit
The decider’s pimp

[AuntiBush]

272. C'YA!

Wouldn't wanna be ya come Fitzmas-time!

:hi: Buh-bye SNOTTY-LIAR!

[NoSheep]

273. Inspired by a co-worker today:

You will need a team
of psychiatrists to find
you in your own shit

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

275. Ode to Scotty

"I can not comment"
investigations amok
don't drop the soap, pal

[dooner]

277. Bush the Decider

Bush the decider
Finds Scotty not dog enough
For coming s**t storm

The s**t storm cometh
Scotty McLellean must go
The aspens wave bye

Scotty must go now
Things about to hit the fan
We will not miss him

[Solly Mack]

278. okies

Fertilizer man
podium blathering lies
The bush seeks fresh shit

[mvd]

279. Mine

Scott could not keep up
The spin gets harder each day
That is good for us!

[Wheezy]

280. oooh! I'm late to this party, but...

Smarmy doughboy Scott
You've been eliminated.
Jesus, beam you up.

[antigone382]

281. Truth is straight and tall/Like bamboo; you are/Short and squat, like shit

:evilgrin:

[lonestarnot]

282. Beat it snotty! As fast as your lyin' ass will take you! Stain be gone!

[Spiffarino]

283. Inspired by his predecessors

Remember Nixon's mouthpiece?

Today Scott tumbles
Into history's dust bin
Just like Ron Ziegler


And for his immediate predecessor:

Hard to believe, but
Scotty made Ari Fleischer
Look like Cicero

[Stephanie]

284. psychic haiku

Scotty I predict
Indictment trial conviction
Incarceration

[emald]

289. ohhhh, very good.

[WildClarySage]

285. off the top of my head...

Can't comment on an
Ongoin' investigation?
Then why did ya, Liar?

[Spiffarino]

286. Scotty, We hardly knew ye

We hardly knew ye
You moon-faced little nutsack
Good luck in prison!

Though you are leaving
You have served your country well
Ha! Who'm I kiddin'?

Scotty McLellan
Used his podium to hide
Gannon-induced chub!

[WildEyedLiberal]

288. A haiku for Scott McClellan

Scotty McClellan,
Don't let the door hit your ass
Right-wing douchebag tool

[U4ikLefty]

290. From his own mouth:

sorry, I cannot
comment on an ongoing
investigation

[aaronbees]

291. 5,7,5

Scotty McClellan
rocking in chair. He's tired of
clearing brush for Bush.

[PurgedVoter]

292. Too Fun!

Function defines form
Sharkbait will follow Sharkbait
Oh ah ah, Scotty

The Truth Drought won't end.
Strayhorn's son was not the plug.
More a rag now stained.

No days honest work,
No service left to respect,
Scott, Fox may hire you.

Bold flowers open.
Bright sun with rain, silver lines.
No face to loose, Scott

[wickerwoman]

293. Hmm...

Paleface speak with forked
tongue. Suck my shiny apples.
St. Patrick missed one.

[Seabiscuit]

294. Petulent Pustulence...

What's the fuss
Scotticus
You miserable drop of pus

Just go away
Yes make my day
And leave the rest to us

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

295. good riddance

Getting dressed in the morning
Must have been easy
Should he wear black shirt or brown?

[Maraya1969]

301. Extension of a former thought of mine

Here is what you said
*&%#$ %*&*^ ^&%$ *^%# (&^$ +|+* ^&*%
(%&* (&^&* *&%% *(&*^^*


EDIT: !~@$*?<

[willing dwarf]

302. Easter theme Scottie Haiku

Scottie

Chicken lips spewed foam
Squeaky clean kid brother denies
Microwaved Peep mush

[momzno1]

303. Haiku is fun

house of cards falling
you're not the first casualty
you won't be the last

[Squeech]

307. How about

a limerick?

There once was a dude named McClellan
Whose tales grew large in the tellin'
But then he got fired
When the press corps got tired
And his lies were no longer compellin'.

[Crankie Avalon]

309. Very good, especially how the beats were on to make smooth rhymes. (nt)

[Squeech]

312. Thank you

I'm an aspiring songwriter. Scansion is really important to me!

[suegeo]

308. I don't know what to put in the subject line. Ahem.

AFLAC spokesperson
Beware! Your job is in peril.
White House duck escapes.

[Crankie Avalon]

310. Quacking, fattened duck

Flop-sweating gravy from pores.
Indignant douchebird!

[pdefalla]

313. Scott, you were just a worthless tool

Speaking empty words
An inconsequential man
Finds himself jobless

[DianaForRussFeingold]

315. Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye

You were used and abused,I will miss you! NAH! http://www.musiccafero.com/wma/Steam%20-%20Na%20Na%20Hey%20Hey%20Kiss%20Him%20Goodbye.wma

:patriot:

[BReisen]

316. Can't resist - this thread just made my lunch hour

Spider Scotty spins
A web so tangled woven
Spinning Scotty scrams

[porphyrian]

317. OK.

Fuck Scott McClellan
Fuck you, Scott, fuck you, fuck you
Fuck Scott McClellan

[BReisen]

318. Or (whoever said this was addictive was right!)

Snake oil Scotty smirks
Selling the BushCo message
Slithers home in shame

[fortyfeetunder]

319. Yo, Scotty, do I

Smell indictment in the air?
That's why you're leaving?

[Paradise]

320. haikuepitaphvoodoo

here lies mclellan
no more lies he be tellin'
you gwon ta hell scott

[Paradise]

321. haikuode to "mud" mclellan

point man mclellan
took THEIR beating and then ran
YOUR name is now "mud"