It's official: CNN Headline News is a f*ckin joke

[KeepItReal]

As if it wasn't bad enough for the hottie "news"reader Robin Meade to say when talking about soaring gas prices: "Junk in your trunk...Never thought we'd be taking about that!" a few minutes ago...

They go on to talk about "Ace" getting voted off American Idol, with *that* segment's hottie talking about "what am I gonna do?" with her life when Idol's season ends...

And the final straw...next comes the weatherman doing push ups after trippin out with Robin about the new camera guy.

So much for the old CNN Headline News slogan "Give us 18 Minutes, we'll give you the world."



:eyes:

[waiting for hope]

1. James Earl Jones

must be thinking of ways to revamp his voice to go with the new venue.....:sarcasm:

[KeepItReal]

2. I don't think they could pay him enough to endorse this B.S.

...I hope.

[waiting for hope]

6. I'm only watching KO and the only time

I venture over to CNN is when Tweety is on - Wolf Blizter is not one of my favorites but at least I believe he tries to keep it honest.

[KeepItReal]

8. Wolf hasn't kept it honest since Gulf War I, IMHO

<eom>

[hatrack]

23. I would suggest he inhale lots of helium

Maybe taking ecstacy would also help.

[Christa]

3. Post partum depression

on headline news this morning :eyes:

[KeepItReal]

4. Yeah, they must be mad over the U.S. ranked 5th in Sexual Satifaction

...A topic from a few minutes ago.

This is ri-dog-dang-diculous.

[dipsydoodle]

5. Illigitimus nil carborundum

Don't let the bastards grind you down. Just don't watch it.

Then you'll be Porkus extretia jubilatae - happy as pig in shit.

[KeepItReal]

7. Tibi Gratias!

:-)

Now these Mofos are going on about bears on trampolines...

:rofl:

[dipsydoodle]

19. I misexpressed & misspelt that

Correct version is within this lot plus a bunch of other comical ones like "lets fuck off and go sailing":
http://www.tigress.com/emax/latin.html

There's a really funny Australian one which I've lost. Translates to "dad drives a train" - needs to said with an Oz accent.

We only get the International Edition of CNN in the UK which comes from London, Hong Kong etc. Completely different set of (w)anchormen/women. Broadly speaking their brains don't fall out when they open their mouths.

[KeepItReal]

21. They block CNN International where I live...lest we actually see real news

...somehow they still let the BBC channel be available though.

[dipsydoodle]

26. That explains a lot to me

I could never reconcile what you guys say about CNN with what we get here which broadly speaking is open, unbiased, and no holds bars when it comes to asking sensitive questions.

[Squatch]

9. She's cute, but dumb as a brick.

I can't stand CNN in the morning anymore. I actually look forward to the monotone delivery on NPR.

[KeepItReal]

10. Now imagine CNN used to have commercials about how serious they were

in the morning about real news... instead of the happy-go-lucky crap *other* stations would show.

[Squatch]

12. All I want to hear is

what's going on in the world, who won the game last night, and what the markets are going to do for the day...without the bimbo newscaster *and* those idiotic intro graphics.

You know the ones...some dude farts in the whitehouse, the story makes it to the CNN desk, and the next thing they have is a dramatic intro graphic with ominous music and a completely sophomoric tag line like "Whitehouse in distress".

[KeepItReal]

14. What? You mean the World Sexual Satisfaction Survey isn't TOP NEWS?

:shrug:

[Squatch]

15. I was just leaving the house this morning when I heard on the TV

"when we return, which countries score highest on sexual satisfaction." And then the cheesy fade-out music.

I am glad I missed that one.

BTW...which country scored highest?

[KeepItReal]

16. I dunno , but I'm doing my part for America here in Vegas!

I'm trying to raise us up from 5th damnit!

[Squatch]

17. Oh...it was a state survey? Shows how much I was paying attention.

[KeepItReal]

18. No it was an international survey...

:-)

I'm just trying to help our USA average satisfaction

[Squatch]

20. And that's why it's newsworthy. You're right...CNN is a joke.

[Supersedeas]

11. mmm....NPR not so much anymore.

[Squatch]

13. Why not?

[lectrobyte]

22. I'm somewhat cynical about even NPR... Hearing the plugs for Wal-Mart

hasn't helped me form a higher opinion of them.

[gatorboy]

24. The new slogan for the MSM is,

"Give us 18 Minutes, we'll give you the Aruba."

[Pab Sungenis]

25. "Give us 18 minutes" was NEVER a CNN slogan.

It was the slogan of SNN (Satellite News Network), a competitor that CNN bought out in the early '80's.

The SNN formula was a constantly rolling one: headlines every 15 minutes, followed by an in-depth story, and then a feature. The "18 minutes" came from the fact that in that time you could get headlines, an in-depth story, a feature, then updated headlines.

On systems where SNN was carried exclusively, it was replaced by CNN. On systems where they co-existed, SNN was used to help launch CNN 2, which then became "Headline News," copying SNN's formula.