How much of the anti-cell phone stuff is ego ie: look at me!

[RB TexLa]

Not look at me from the cell phone user but look at me from those that get mad at cell phone users. I as anyone am able to be speaking on the cell phone and hand a coke or bag of chips to a cashier at a store and then see the price and give them the money, yet often times they sigh and roll their eyes at you when you do this while holding the phone to your ear. I think there is a lot of this and I really don't understand why. I have seen and get this while both using the cell phone and my ipod. I have been chosen by people to ask things, directions, what time it is, several times and such while listening to my ipod when there were many others around me not on a phone or listening to something with ear pieces. Why would they chose not to ask one of the people who was not on a phone or listening to something.

The last time was this morning, in a line of about 10 people at the grocery store. While listening to my ipod a lady walks beside me and says "excuse me." After I take the earbuds out of my ear, she begins to ask me if I know where some store is. I looked around at the other people in line and after having this happen before I finally asked. "Could you not see that I was listening to something? Could you not have asked any of these people where that place is?" She didn't seem to like this and refused to answer, she simply dropped her mouth and said "God!" and walked off. The guy behind me said "what is her problem, she could have asked me."

[democracyindanger]

1. None. nt

[redwitch]

2. I think you are wrong.

I think that talking on the cell phone while paying at the checkout makes the cashier a non entity. It's just plain rude. IMO

[Tesha]

24. What redwitch said.

There was a time when you were expected to actually
*INTERACT* with the people you were interacting with.
You know, "Hi, hello, howahya?"

Nowadays, people are so wrapped-up in their own little
entertainments (and much cell phone chatter is nothing
but that) that they won't deign to waste three seconds
interacting with the actual human being standing there
in front of them.

It's either rudeness, selfishness, or ignorance, take
your choice.

Tesha

[mdmc]

235. what tesha and redwitch said

[Yollam]

249. Add one more to that chain.

rude rude rude.

[shadowknows69]

252. Gotta throw a ditto on that one

The most useless invention in history in my opinion.

[Dorian Gray]

314. I agree...

I'm not "anti-cell phone," but I'm anti rudeness. When I go to dinner with a friend, I expect them to talk to ME, not someone on the phone. I would never yap away while doing something else. It's rude.

[seabeyond]

47. is her self worth henging on her customers attention to her

do we really need to take things so very personally. odd. no one could make me feel like a non enity. to even someone that ignored me, or was busy as they were paying for something.

[Joe Fields]

68. Self-worth has nothing to do with it.

[seabeyond]

75. uh hu..... lol lol. cant feel like an on enity by another

if you have any kind of self worth, i would think. i have yet to have anyone make.... make.... (can we make another anything) make a person feel like a non enity. i owuldthink we would have to allow it

[fishwax]

265. you're the one who made feelings part of the equation

redwitch said such behavior "makes the cashier a non-entity," rather than "makes the cashier feel like a non-entity."

As ELeanor Roosevelt said, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Using that logic, I can't make anyone feel inferior, no matter what mean things I say to them. But the fact of that doesn't excuse the mean things I might say to them, or make such things any less mean.

To me, it's a matter of respect. I think it's rude for a person to expect the people serving him/her to look for non-verbal cues just because that person can't be bothered to put down the cell phone for fifteen seconds.

[Darth_Kitten]

296. Bingo!

God forbid that somebody has to put their little conversation with their buddies on hold so they can actually talk to another human being. :eyes:

[redwitch]

70. If all day long people hand you their cash/ credit card

but don't make eye contact, don't acknowledge your existence, you might feel less than a person too. It isn't just one person, it's lots of them. It adds up. Part of our self image DOES come from those around us.
And besides, it's just plain rude. IMO

[seabeyond]

78. well, if that is the story, the poor cashier that NEVER has

a person interact with her throughout her day. hasnt happened to me. but then i am one of those strangers have conversation with me and have their whole life story in 3 minutes. go figure

[redwitch]

89. The thing is, it really IS headed that way.

I never used to see people talking on their cells in the store/restaurant etc. Now it's every other person in line. Always. It seems to say that we all wish we were somewhere else, anywhere but where we ARE. And it adds to the noise pollution in our heads. A little quiet, some friendly eye contact, it's a good thing. :-)

[seabeyond]

93. well redwitch, if we are ever in line together, you will get that from me

out and about is our (my children 8 and 10) special time of interacting with fellow man. so i know what you say. but i still have tons of people that make eye contact. my boys love to talk to the old people, because it bring the seniors so much joy. and there is not a baby i can walk past without acknowledging, because... i just feel i dont have a right to ignore, as they lay their eyes on me.

i hear ya. i just really dont want to be upset with people. we have toooo much of it. and i get pissed with those that have big vehicles and block my view, lol

[Zynx]

135. I worked as a cashier for a while and I can confirm this.

It is just rude when someone is blabbing in front of you when sometimes you need to talk with them particularly when their card is declined or there are other issues. Also, it is just plain good manners to wish them a good day.

[seabeyond]

142. waitress, cashier and dry cleaners, all service oriented

do you often get someone on cell phone and a declined credit? what are the odds. sometimes i would have someone talking busily to a friend, and i would have to interupt. sometimes a person is just rude, or unhappy. yip.... we get em all.

and.... i hope you are having a good day.

[Zynx]

152. I can distinctly remember several times.

One time the person kept putting their finger up in my face to prevent me from speaking about the declined card so I just showed her the big error message on my monitor and she took forever to get the point.

[seabeyond]

160. truly

this is another. i cant remember a single time having swiped a card and it come up declined. really. not saying doesnt happen. have been in line maybe once when has happened. anyway, anyone touch my face their ass be in trouble. wink

[Zynx]

222. In terms of absolute numbers of declined cards I would say at least 50

times. I would say it averaged to about once every one and a half weeks I worked. As I said a fraction of those would be people one their cell phones. It happened much more often than I expected. Sometimes it was just a computer glitch.

[Dorian Gray]

316. Really?

Never? Because it happens to me all the time. I have GOOD credit, but my card will be "declined" because I've charged too much on it. Basically, they just want to make sure that it is me. Nothing serious. But, it involves interaction with the salesperson. Interaction in which, if I were on the telephone, would be awkward for both of us.

[Maine-ah]

279. yep, I have the same problem

I just take the next person in line. I'll get some pretty pissed off customers when the line stops because someone is on the cell phone.

Don't get me wrong though, I have a cell phone. I just have certain rules about it.

[LostinVA]

281. Unless it's an emergency call, there's no need to have to talk to someone

While you're interacting with other peopl... I've been there. It's rude, and it honestly makes the cashier into a machine -- nothing more important than an ATM. Call the person back. Wait to call them.

You're a good cashier -- you worry about the other customers in line. Kudos!

[teknomanzer]

306. Its so rewarding...

to just take a moment... look someone in the eyes, smile, and say how are you today? and watch their face move from a dull deadpan expression to a bright smile. People are your mirror.

Its worth it just to put that call on hold, or pause that MP3 player, and interact with the people around you.

Maybe the person asking you for directions just happened to think that you 'appeared' to be someone who would be helpful. Too bad for you... you spoiled her expectations.

[KitchenWitch]

285. ...

The person on the cellphone is not treating the cashier (or other service person) with basic human kindness and consideration. I think it is the height of rudeness.

[Dorian Gray]

315. Of course not...

but it's just bad manners. Perhaps that doesn't matter to some people, but it does matter to me. I HATE when people are speaking to me AND on a cell phone. I wouldn't do it to somebody else, so I expect nobody to do it to me. If they do, I get annoyed.

[converted_democrat]

98. I agree with you completely.. n/t

[mrreowwr_kittty]

That's what I think too

If it were a police officer, a judge, your boss, or someone else in a position of respect or authority, you'd damn sure be ending that cell phone conversation while being addressed by that person.

[redwitch]

150. welcome cat burglar!

And you're absolutely right!

[LostinVA]

282. Great point -- and welcome to DU!

[sendero]

198. Most cashiers..

... treat most customers as non-entities, so that would make him "even".

[Codeine]

232. Nonsense.

I've worked in the service retail industry for my entire adult life and I can tell you that's just plain baloney. DU: The last place where contempt for the working classes is considered a badge of pride. :eyes:

[sendero]

236. Come visit a convenience store..

.. in Dallas and then make your claim.

[LostinVA]

283. Nonsense -- I managed a biog box bookstore for several years

And a cashier like that would have been let go. Our cashiers weren;t expected to take any nasty crap -- that's what I was for. But, they were expected to be polite, courteous, and friendly. And they were. The majority of service industry personnel I deal with are fine. I don't expect to have my ass kissed like some customers -- I just expect good service. And that's what I usually get.

[LostinVA]

280. Agreed n/t

[0007]

287. Absolutely! Cell phones are a pain in the ass. Especially

while driving.

[SheepyMcSheepster]

300. i'll be an echo, it's rude.

you should acknowledge people, it shows that you give them a tiny bit of respect.

[NVMojo]

3. Excuse me! HAHA! My favorite cell phone abuser was a chick in the post

office who was saying Well, F*ck that, and I don't give fecking sh*t and on and on and really loud like we all wanted to participate in her freaking life while we were standing in line.

Go have a life somewhere else, in other words. Most of us don't care to participate in the person yakking loudly to some obscure faraway voice on the other end that has nothing to do with anyone in the room forced to listen.

[redwitch]

8. Was in a restaurant last night.

Important couple at next table had several conversations while waiting for their meals. Their phones rang and rang. Grrrrrrrr. Mine is set to vibrate. And if I get a call I have to answer I take it outside.

[teenagebambam]

21. My restaurant story

Was having dinner with a friend, we were discussing the medical traumas of a mutual acquaintance. Woman at the next table showed very obvious and vocal disgust that we would dare to discuss medical things in a restaurant. She then proceeded to answer her cell phone and unload a string of four letter words into it that would make a sailor blush.

[KansDem]

51. I had a similar experience in a bank!

Business was slow at that time of day, so there were only two people at the teller's cages: I and one other customer. Next to me was this fellow talking on a cell phone while transacting business with the teller. Well, he's in a heated discussion and, in a raised voice, starts barking "Fuck 'em...fuck 'em" into his cell phone. This is a somewhat conservative bank with marble or marble-like walls and floor, so his vitriol echoed through out the bank lobby!!!

Sounded something like: "FUCK 'EM-kem-kem-kem-...FUCK 'EM-kem-kem-kem...

edited for punctuation

[DrGonzoLives]

292. Because EVERYONE who uses a cell phone in public is like that

:eyes:

[Darth_Kitten]

297. Pretty much, yes.

People who cannot just relax and NOT have to yak into their cell phones constantly must not have that much going up upstairs. Majority of people who have cell phones abuse them.

[Warpy]

4. That was the case when they first came out

and it was the same mentality that would have themselves paged at poolside in LA hotels so people would think they were important.

Now they're just clods.

[w13rd0]

5. Listening to a device....

...rather than interacting with the live humans around you is, at least in the US in "old world" paradigm, considered to be at attempt to isolate oneself from their surroundings. Some people feel compelled to impinge upon this isolation. They'll actually seek someone out who is so preoccupied just to "break in" to their world. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know. I have a button on my phone/music player/handhelds cord to my earpiece that lets me pause/mute whatever I'm listening to. Generally, if it's not a business call, I don't mind. Others may.

[LiberalVoice]

12. Or maybe I just like listening to music...

:eyes:

[proud2BlibKansan]

62. And you can't wait till you aren't at a cash register, etc?

I like listening to music too but I don't do it 24/7. Sometimes it is more important to communicate and interact with people.

[Phx_Dem]

6. I think the point is

that if you are at a register or whatever, you need to be paying attention during the transaction, not talking on the phone. I think it is extremely rude thing to do.

[knowbody0]

7. mayhaps you are so attractive

people just want to talk to you.

[eyesroll]

9. Because often, it doesn't work in any sort of polite manner.

Customer on phone: "So Becky says to Lynne..."
Cashier: "That'll be $7.29 please."
Customer: "OH my god! I know!"
Cashier: (impatient) "Miss?"
Customer on phone: "Hold on, Marcy, I need to pay for this." (fumbles with phone, scurries about, gets out checkbook) "Wait a sec -- no, not you Marcy, the cashier -- did you get the chips? Sigh. OK, I'll pay cash for those. Here. As I was saying, Marcy..."


Besides, it's a basic human want to be treated and acknowledged as a human being, and not be treated like a vending machine.

[mark11727]

18. I've seen and heard CASHIERS do the same thing, eyesroll...

...and it's just as rude, and sometimes results in the wrong change being returned. :grr:

[eyesroll]

22. Oh, yes, I've seen that one, two.

"Oh, hold on, let me find out what this lady wants and then I'll be right back..."

It's one thing if they're saying, into their phone: "How far apart are the contractions? OK, I'll meet you there," but they're usually saying "I get off at 5, let's get together."

[lukasahero]

79. Worse

it's usually "I'm just at the checkout now - meet me in front in two minutes."

Sorry - yes, I hate the ubiquitousness of cell phones - guess it's my ego. :rofl:

[Joe Fields]

50. As a manager of a restaurant, I politely wait until I have the....

undivided attention of the cell phone user, whether it be settling a bill or taking someone's order.

[Clark2008]

74. I bet the people waiting behind them in line don't like that

you have to wait on their rude behavior, though.

I'm always in a hurry (too much to do and not time to do it in) and I know I wouldn't ant to wait while you waited for the impolite clod to get off the phone.

No offense to you - but have you ever had that problem?

[Joe Fields]

86. It has bewen a minor inconvenience, not a problem.

I have looked around when this happens sometimes, and have seen customers waiting in line giving angry glances to the offending cell phone user. No one, as yet ever commented to me on those occasions.

[LostinVA]

284. OMG -- that is spot on

[Orrex]

A cashier is a person, not an ATM

Treat the person with at least a baseline of interpersonal respect. If you can't be bothered to pry your ear from your cell long enough to buy your chips, then you shouldn't expect any politeness from the other person involved in the transaction.

//sarcasm follows//
Additionally, in all of history, no cellphone conversation has been carried out at less than a full shout, and fewer than 1% of all cellphone calls involve matters that bear discussing. For instance, overheard on a trolley: "Yeah, I'm at fifth street. Yeah, now I'm at fourth street. Yeah, now I'm at third street. Okay, now I'm at second street."

[driver8]

28. Amen!!

I wouldn't blame the cashier for rolling his/her eyes. How many times a day do you think that they have to deal with people on cell phones who are not paying attention? Good for you if you can do things at once; many people cannot.

I know cell phones are a necessity and I carry one. However, I don't stand around in public talking on it for all to hear. You don't need to hear my phone conversations and I certainly don't need to hear yours. Show people some respect and courtesy and you just might get some in return.

[Joe Fields]

53. Double Amen!

Sounds like you've had experience with this. I know I have.

[insane_cratic_gal]

10. Perhaps she only thought you had the friendliest face

the most approachable of all the others in line?

I bet if she ever sees your mug again, she'll be more then happy to ignore it or at least grace it with some sort of gesture.

[teenagebambam]

11. My two cents...

...if you need to talk to someone that badly, you should be with them, talking, instead of at the store.

[Name removed]

13. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

14. If you're in a cashier line, stop yapping on the phone for a minute!

Others are trying to hear each other and conduct a little business and we don't need the hassle of having to shout over you to do it.

[mondo joe]

15. I've wasted too much time in line behind assholes who can't

multitask.

Doesn't mean no one can - but there are enough who can't.

I like stores with signs saying they won't take your order while you're on a cell phone.

[teenagebambam]

17. Where is the magical paradise...

...with such a store?

[mondo joe]

23. Hehehehe. Seattle.

But don't move here. It rains all the time and traffic is bad and there are flying vampire slugs.

[Mythsaje]

27. Aren't those slugs horrible?

They're a scourge, I tell you, a scourge!

;)

[redwitch]

154. Flying vampire slugs?????

Are ya kiddin'?

[Left Is Write]

156. It's all propaganda.

Designed to keep the riff raff from moving in and overtaking Seattle.

:D

[Mythsaje]

164. Too late... LOL

Seattle's crowded enough...it's expanded to the point it's even overtaken some of the best farmland in America.

We're just trying to convince others not to move here. We've got enough people, thanks for asking. ;)

[redwitch]

167. Thank God!

Ticks and fleas and big hairy spiders are bad enough. Flying vampire slugs would be too , too much! :-)

[titoresque]

16. I think it's very rude

If you approached a counter and the cashier was on the telephone yakking to a friend or whomever, and treated you with the same......you'd probably be a little miffed if not out right pissed.

The woman asking you for assistance was an opportunity for you to help someone in need. Instead you chose to let your ego stand in the way of helping someone.

Also, I've done the same thing as you describe in your OP, so please don't think I'm trying to trash you or belittle you. It's just that we're given opportuninties and sometimes we take them and sometimes we behave rudely. It's all in the way you look at it. Your ego told you that this woman didn't show respect for the fact that you were listening to something, your ego told you that she didn't see or respect that you are important........in all actuality she probably just needed directions, and it had nothing to do with you or your ipod.

[proud2BlibKansan]

69. I had to deal with a cashier on her cell phone last night

and this thread has inspired me to call and complain. She was incredibly rude.

[Joe Fields]

19. Why do you feel it necessary to have your ear surgically attatched

to a cell phone at all times. What generation are you from? Don't you know how rude and dangerous it is to use a cell phone while driving a car? Don't you realize how rude it is to be on a cell phone when making a transaction at a store, or talking on the cell phone while in line, for all to hear your conversation? Or do people such as yourself have no consideration for others?

I imagine that when the technology comes along, you will probably have a cell phone surgically implanted in your skull.

[vikegirl]

73. I agree.

Why do people feel the need to be in continuous communications? I have my circle of friends, but don't want to be in constant contact EVER SINGLE MINUTE of the day. Is "alone time" a thing of the past?

[Yollam]

250. Not for people with SOULS.

Normal human beings need quiet time to unwind and organize their thoughts.

I've yet to buy a cell phone. I occasionally think about getting one, just for emergencies, but I have this fear that if I get one, it will be contagious and I'll become one of THEM.

[shadowknows69]

253. I drive taxi

And I'm astounded by the number of people who call to tell their friends they're getting in the cab and are on the way home. People who come from work the same damn time every day and live 5 minutes from home. I just don't get it.

[Dorian Gray]

317. I agree for the most part,

though I do call my husband if it's late when I get into a taxi. It's more for safety. If it's after like midnight and I'm alone, he wants to know the medalion number of the taxi in case anything happens to me. I know it's overprotective, but I find it stragely comforting when I'm going home alone at night. (Of course, I live in Brooklyn, so taking a taxi home from Manhattan is like a half hour ordeal. When I lived in Manhattan, it wasn't such a concern.)

[Left Is Write]

20. The behavior you have described on both scenarios is rude.

And I have both a cell phone and an iriver, so I'm not speaking out of any bias against either device.

[Ganja Ninja]

25. I really don't understand the need to have a cell phone pressed

up to you ear every waking moment of the day. It's not ego. I just hate the fucking things.
The worst offenders are the women I see every day going to and from the mall in their Mercedes and BMW's. Most look to be trophy wives. They obviously don't work, have little to do and yet for some reason they are on phone constantly. I have to ask, who the hell are they talking to? What is so important that they can't put the phone down?

[seabeyond]

45. does it really matter whether you understand or not. i am really,

who cares.

i reall dont understand this attitude from people. i dont HAVE to understand why people make their choices, it is theirs to make. as i hope that i would be allowed to make mine. like dare to laugh and enjoy life, maybe even break out in song, cause it will make my kids giggle. lord forbid i do soemthing someone doesnt understand

[Joe Fields]

57. I often ask that question.

[sinkingfeeling]

26. No. But I find people who can't stop yapping on a cell phone,

playing music into their mind, or in other words, trying to shut out all participation with those around them, rude and annoying. I would not even take money from someone who could not devote their attention to purchasing an item. I'm about to propose a city law banning cell phones, ipods, and blackberries from public spaces....if they can do it with smokers, I think it's only fair.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

33. As much as I detest these clods, a law is too much.

Besides, these people will just find another outlet for being stupid and annoying.

[Mythsaje]

38. Ever consider

that some people don't necessarily WANT to interact with everyone around them? And WTF does it matter to you if I'm listening to an audio-book on my nano or reading an e-book on my PDA while waiting in line at the store? It sure as hell beats staring at the covers of the stupid magazines in the impulse-buy rack.

It's attitudes like this that make me wonder if the OP doesn't have a point. Propose a city law...sheesh.

I swear, some "liberals" are as bad as any Repug.

[Joe Fields]

60. I think what we are talking about here is simply common courtesy.

There is nothing wrong with cell phones. But a great many people abuse them in public places, like at the movies, in line at a store, at a restaurant. Do I want to be forced to listen to someone elses private conversations? No. It is impolite, and if you don't want to interact with the public, then buy your stuff online.

[Mythsaje]

67. Again with the

"this is how I think people should behave."

I try to limit my exposure because too much interaction freaks me out a little. But what you're proposing (shopping on-line) is NOT the recommended behavior for people with social anxiety. One has to push at one's boundries lest one develops "avoidance syndrome."

I'm not talking cell phones here, necessarily. Some people ARE obnoxious with their cells. Some people are obnoxious period. I simply ignore them as much as possible.

[Joe Fields]

88. Yes, i believe that people should act politely.

[Mythsaje]

100. I don't have a choice...

It's a compulsion for me. But I make great use of anything that buffers me from the abrasive outside world when I need it. It's not rudeness, it's sanity.

[Seabiscuit]

274. Bullshit. It's rudeness.

If your cellphone were a bottle of beer, and that's what you had a compulsion for as a way of shutting out the people around you, you'd be drinking in cashier lines and drinking while driving to shut out the other drivers you found annoying and abrasive. Then you'd take one of them out and blame them for being in your way.

[Shakespeare]

65. Yeah, you go right ahead and treat that cashier like a non-human.

After all, their low-paying hourly job, standing on their feet for hours every day checking out assholes who can't be bothered to put their phone down for five fucking seconds to acknowledge their existence while the transaction is completed is so rewarding.

If I think someone's a complete asshole for doing that, then--to quote you--WTF does it matter to you?

[Mythsaje]

77. If I'm waiting in line

I reserve the right to listen to my audio-book or read on my PDA. When I get to the cashier, I pause it and complete the transaction.

Some days too much stranger interaction stresses me out. On those days it's hard enough to get me to GO to the store, much less try to deal with all those people I don't know. I HAVE to interact with the cashier...to treat them like a machine would be rude, and I'm psychologically conditioned not to be rude.

Look up social anxiety sometime.

[Ariana Celeste]

118. I hear that man

I hate crowded places and being around people I don't know, some days it's enough stress to make me lethargic for the rest of the day. I used to deal with it by having my discman wherever I went. I'd take my headphones off for the cashier, but the rest of my time in the store I was rockin out. :)
I can make chat with strangers on good days, but the rest of the time it's best for everyone that I just hang out in my own world. People just make me nervous and sick.

[Mythsaje]

125. Ah, someone who gets it...

Yes, and threads like this don't help. I'm already worrying about people paying me undue attention when I'm in public. The last thing I want to know is that someone's judging me for listening to my nano too.

[lukasahero]

137. I think the nanos

are a) less of a problem and b) if you pause it, you are not the problem that is being discussed here.

I think more people are frustrated with the cell phone screamers. And I get frustrated with that because, like you, I hate crowds. I get claustrophobic with the noise, the commotion. But I work in the city and, being the good progressive that I am, I take public transportation. Add to the hustle and press of the normal rush hour, three people around me screaming to out hear each other on their cell phones and it's barely tolerable.

If you're not participating in the behavior being criticized (which it sounds like you are not) then understand you are not being criticized. Feel better? :hug:

[Mythsaje]

144. I guess I don't run into the cell phone screamers

very often. Of course, that would make sense since I only go to public places (other than work) when absolutely necessary.

[lukasahero]

151. Well, that "going to work" part

is where it mostly occurs. Public transport, as mentioned. I suspect you'd barely survive. (That's not a knock - I've read your posts and TRULY get where you're coming from. Sounds like you're a rather advanced version of me.) If you don't do public transportation, trust me, don't start.

[Mythsaje]

157. I have, actually...

It freaks me out sometimes. Other times, I'm okay with it. The bad part is that it makes it difficult to get motivated on the days I'm having problems. I don't want to leave the house.

[lukasahero]

168. You're a step ahead of me there then

My hands are sweating just talking about it. I arrange my work schedule so I can catch the low ebb of the commuter rush.

Maybe you can appreciate the time I had the loud drunk "appreciating" my long hair and announcing it to the entire, fairly packed subway car. Too bad it's just not possible to disappear when you want to.

And I can appreciate the motivation factor. I'll leave the house but prefer the quiet, secluded garden. :)

[Mythsaje]

174. Eeek...

That sounds like a nightmare.

[Joe Fields]

271. how would you know, if, like you say....

you choose not to interact with humans, by having something in your ear at all times?

[Raine]

240. I understand too

I have social anixiety...panic attacks and extreme shyness, I don't like to interact with people either. I set up buffer zones too like placing my stuff on the chair next to me so I don't have anyone sit next to me etc. My disagreement with the original poster on this thread is because they were rude to the woman who said 'excuse me' then asked a question. Yeah it was rude of her to cross the poster's buffer zone but maybe the woman is a bit shy herself and thought the poster looked less threatening than others and chose to ask him/her and then got rebuffed rudely. I think the poster could have just said 'sorry, I can't help you' and gone back to their buffer zone.

[Mythsaje]

251. Yeah, I thought it was a little rude too...n/t

[Left Is Write]

120. There's nothing wrong with that.

I think most people are addressing the rudeness of certain behaviors. You pause what you are doing and interact with the cashier when completing your transaction. That's not rude.

[Mythsaje]

128. It's very difficult for me to be rude in public...

Even at a restaurant when there's a problem and my wife takes someone to task for it after the meal is over, I have to go outside. I'm compulsively polite.

[Dorian Gray]

318. You just said...

that you put it down when you get to the cashier, so what's the problem? That's not rude. If you kept reading while paying, THAT would be rude.

[ShortnFiery]

116. Shame on me ...

It's a guilty pleasure, in that, I tend to ask even more questions of people who act "put out" that I dare ask a stranger a question. It cracks me up in a funny way to see them begin to seethe over the notion of helping someone who can't do anything for you. You know, like being polite or humane? Yes, as soon as they kind-of snap. I'll down-shift to my Gomer-ette Pyle routine, "Then that must be some hot stuff you're listening to? <increased volume in my voice> What are you listening to? I may want to buy it. How much was that Ipod? How old is it? :snarf!: :P

Depending on how arrogant and snotty you initially have come across to me, you might have to walk to another line to get away from me TALKING AT you. And that is just how I like it! ;)

I must have seen far too many anti-authoritarian movies in the 70s. Plus being very petite helps me get away without getting my butt kicked for behaving like such a smart ass.

Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

[Left Is Write]

122. Meeting rudeness with rudeness isn't any better.

[ShortnFiery]

226. Yeah but it's fun! And being "in the face" of an arrogant person

is just what they need to re-think that attitude. I call it a friendly attitude adjustment service. :-) :hi:

[pitohui]

256. that is the action of a bully

verbally abusing people because you are not physically capable of physically abusing them does not make you any more attractive, i have seen people do what you describe and they have all appeared to suffer from some mental illness like bipolar syndrome

you don't keep yapping at people who are not interested in talking to you, that is abusive and morally wrong and harassing

and if the person you are abusing has autistic spectrum or social anxiety, then you are guilty of bullying a disabled person

wow, i'm impressed :sarcasm:

getting in someone's face is just plain evil, really, but you keep verbally abusing strangers, i am confident that one day you'll get what is coming

and i for one will applaud, no pity here for bullies

[seabeyond]

180. i stand up for your right to. that is the kind of GAL i am n/t

[DrGonzoLives]

293. THANK YOU

I love this assumption that I have to interact with everyone else so that they can feel better. You know what? Most of the time I want to be left alone. I don't want to make inane, moronic small talk with people I will likely never see again.

[MsTryska]

305. with all due respect those of us around you

would rather not hear the inane moronic small talk you are yelling into your phone. especially when we likely will never see you again.


(and don't lie - everyone yells into a cell - it's because you don't get the feedback that allows you to modulate your volume as you would on a landline)

btw - don't get too upset, i'm just picking on you in particular because your post wording was too easy. ;)

[DrGonzoLives]

307. No, I don't

I can manage to talk at a normal volume.

Do other people having conversations loudly around you bother you as much? Or is it just OMG TEH EVIL cell phones?

[MsTryska]

308. actually loud people in general bother me.

hell my roommate bothers me, and i can hear her yelling into her phone on the porch, from inside, 2 rooms away.

that invades my personal quiet space.


as far as cellphone being teh evil - no they are handy. people feeling the need to jabber on 24/7 and share their conversation with people around them who don't really care?


that makes me feel TEH HAET!!!11!

[marbuc]

39. That's a bit extreme

It's one thing to use cell phone while driving, or during an interaction with another human(s), but I don't see a problem with using phone/blackberry/ipod in public, whether it be on line at a store, in a restaurant, or on the street.

[Dora]

29. There is a difference in the situations you cite

When you are standing in a line minding your own business and listening to your iPod or speaking on a cell phone, it should be obvious that you are engaged in other activity and that it would be inappropriate to interrupt you with a request for directions, etc. However, by the time you reach the register I think you should pause your conversation/iPod.

When you are engaged in a business transaction, common courtesy dictates that you engage with the cashier/service staff on the other side of the counter. Why is this? Because we expect them to be available to engage with us - that's their job. They're required to greet customers, be pleasant, tell us to "have a nice day." It's pretty demoralizing when the customer treats them like a freakin' money machine.

If you don't want personal service, then use the Scan-it-Yourself lines. Could it hurt that much to pause your conversation long enough to look a cashier in the eye, accept your change and receipt, and say "thank you?"

[KurtNYC]

178. That would only inflate the cashiers EGO and as we all know

Cashiers are just big-headed exhibitionists. Every time I give a cashier money they give me back LESS than I gave them! Where do they get off with that kind of behavior! And if that isn't bad enough, some time during the transaction, they open their drawer JUST TO SHOW ME how much money they have in there! It's like "ha ha look at all my money." They stand up for hours on end just to show off -- "Look at me! I don't even need to sit down!" And they make low wages, again, just to show off -- "Look at me! I don't even need a big pay check or anything... I'm freakin' Ghandi."

:sarcasm:

[mitchum]

227. Well done! (n/t)

[Qanisqineq]

30. oooh, I agree with so many of these replies!

I hate cell phones. I hate having to hear people carry on the most ridiculous conversations. I hate the shouting and the corny ringtones when I am somewhere trying to have a nice dinner or see a movie or whatever. I think it is very rude to have a conversation on a cell phone while dealing with anyone else (cashier/waiter/whatever). And I hate when someone comes to visit or I go out with a friend and their cell phone rings constantly. And they take every call and it lasts for at least 10 minutes. I've been known to get up and leave. If you want to hang out with me, hang out with me and shut the thing off.

And yes, I do own a cell phone but I always shut it off when I am out. I take it to use just in case.

[Left Is Write]

34. I never shut my phone off when I'm out.

Reason? I have kids at home with a babysitter. That's why I bring the cellphone in the first place.

However - I absolutely agree that it is very rude to take call after call and ignore one's companion.

[Midlodemocrat]

40. I'm with you. And, usually the one calling me is

my 9yo. I don't take other calls when I am in a store. Just from the kids.

[driver8]

31. I was at a comedy club one night and there were a couple of women

sitting at a front table, right next to the stage. One of the women got a call on her cell phone and took the call in the middle of a comedian's act. She is sitting there yapping while this guy is up there talking and he just stops and watches her until she finished.

When she got off the phone, the comedian made her look like an idiot. He made the woman so mad that she got up and left. As she exited, the whole room applauded.

It was beautiful.

[Left Is Write]

37. If that had happened at the comedy club I go to...

security would have asked her to leave.

[sarcasmo]

230. Wish I could do that at nice restaurants. I get so ticked off with Nextels

The high pitched beep and being able to hear both ends of the conversation on a loud level. People seem to talk louder when they are on cell phones and the Nextel two way beep drives me crazy. I guess people don't have courtesy anymore. Tell them that you are at dinner and you will call them back.

[Lerkfish]

32. I'm the guy that ever stranger comes to for questions

I'm in a whole group of people waiting on a bus. They come up to ME and ask directions to somewhere. True, I'm basically friendly and will try to help them, but HOW DO THEY KNOW THAT?

Or, I'll be in a store, and someone will think I"m a manager and start asking about a shelf item or something.

Or, I'll be in a group of people and a panhandler will come up only to me...true, I usually will dig out change from my pocket, but again, how do they know that?

its weird.

however, to the original point, I think its being extremely rude to talk on a cell phone while someone in real life is trying to interact with you. You are communicating to them how much contempt you hold for them. If you get bad service you only have yourself to blame.

[titoresque]

42. Me too!

I get the questions and then attempt to answer the question, or provide the help, then I usually get to hear the whole life story. LOL!
I used to view it as a curse, I would even avoid eye contact with people for fear of the "life story"
Now I just go with it, and try to see it as the universe providing me with a way to slow down and meet some really interesting people. It feels better to look at it that way.

[Lerkfish]

46. lol! we should stand next to each other and see who they target!

:)

[FlaGranny]

110. They are not targeting

either one of you. You are both drawing them in with your personal magnetism. ;-)

[Lerkfish]

111. LOL! thanks, that made my day.

:)

[FlaGranny]

71. You obviously have an open

and welcoming appearance that people feel comfortable with.

[Lerkfish]

99. possibly. I know that people have commented that I have a "friendly"

face. :shrug: just looks normal to me.

[LostinVA]

286. That always happens to me, too -- especially when they don't

speak English. My friends think it's because I'm a little short and usually look pleasant (hahahaha! A facade over my true evil self). I don't mind it, it's just weird.

[MazeRat7]

35. I subscribe to the belief that private conversations should be that....

Private. I really don't want to hear anyones phone conversation when I am in public. I certainly always make sure I am out of ear shot of anyone when talking on the phone.

Here is an idea, next time you see someone talking on a cell in a public place, kindly ask them to put the other end on their speaker so everyone around can participate.

MZr7

[Chiyo-chichi]

36. Maybe "Sorry. I don't know." would have been a better answer.

Would've been shorter that the speech you gave. Would've gotten you back to your ipod quicker. Wouldn't have upset the lady. Everybody wins.

[seabeyond]

41. you know, i dont have your attitude. i dont care if i am the one they

chose to ask, if i am on phone. i dont care if someone is talking on phone or listening to music. if they are listening to music, i may give a thumbs up just casue they are enjoying life and i like to share enjoyment, even with strangers. i dont use cell phones often and never listen to ipod out and about.... but i am so on your side. i had customers that were on phone and didnt bother me at all as i waited on them. i felt bad interupting them to tell them the price, and tried not to interfer.

so all around, hey... you be cool. dont step on my toes, and happily i wont step on yours.

what is the problem with other people? they are the ones that wnat to dictate how to walk thru life, and surprisingly (not) it is all about them and only one way, there way, and dont you dare maybe, possibly there is a chance, you may bother me at some point. actually probably about anything bothers them. the enjoy bother. they look for bother. if it isnt a cell phone, it is a kid, not a kid, then an old person..... and on and on and on

anyway, will thumbs up you if i say you around jammin, wink

[Left Is Write]

61. Hmmm...

With regard to this:

what is the problem with other people? they are the ones that wnat to dictate how to walk thru life, and surprisingly (not) it is all about them and only one way, there way, and dont you dare maybe, possibly there is a chance, you may bother me at some point.

It seems to me the OP himself was complaining that someone bothered him while he was listening to his iPod. Wasn't that "all about him" and his not wanting to be bothered?

[seabeyond]

64. yes it was

and wasnt that the first thing i addressed in my title. wouldnt bother me at all, a persn interupting me to ask a question. i would feel honored and love to help a fellow human being even if it required me to pause music. which i dont do in public anyway

yup you are right on

[Left Is Write]

66. Well, you did ask what was wrong with "other people"

and told the OP you were "on his side."

I'm on his side in the sense that he has his right to use his phone and his iPod, but I am not on his side in validating his rude behavior.

[seabeyond]

72. wink, gotcha n/t

[ronnykmarshall]

43. Parody, right?

[Mythsaje]

44. I pause my nano if someone's talking to me...

be it the cashier, or another customer. It's simply courteous, and I'm nothing if not courteous. But I'm beginning to think there are entirely too many people out there who want to stick their noses into where it doesn't belong...attempting to modify others' behavior just to suit their prejudices.

Yes, it IS rude to be yakking on your cell phone or blocking out the cashier while making a transaction. So I don't do that. The only time I've ever been on the phone in this situation is when it rings while I'm standing in line, and I usually try to end the call before I get to the counter.

I guess some "liberals" and Repugs have more in common than we like to think--an inability to mind their own goddam business.

[MadHound]

59. Hard to mind one's own business

When you're right in front of me nattering away on the cell about meaningless nothings in a voice to be heard all the way in the back of the store.

OK, perhaps not you personally, but time and again I'm in line, or in a store period, and I wind up hearing one side of a phone conversation. It is rude quite frankly. I don't want to hear about your date last night, or whether your partner wants wheat or white bread. I just want you to STFU and stop impinging upon my existence with your meaningless blather.

Frankly, I think that cell phones, iPods and other such devices have led to a large increase in anti-social behaviors. People are becoming ever more self absorbed while the real world passes them by.

[Mythsaje]

81. And for some of us

they're a buffer that can be used when the psychological press of too many interactions become too much. Some days are better than others, but I have issues with dealing with too many strangers.

I'm just not sure why you should actively care if someone's on the phone talking about whatever. I don't know them, and if it's not a conversation that interests me, it's easy enough for me to block it out...esp if I'm wearing my nano.

[MadHound]

97. If the "psychological press of too many interactions become too much"

Perhaps it would be a good thing for you to do without the electronic apparatus for awhile, and learn how to deal with the real world rather than retreating from it. Personally, it doesn't bother me when somebody has music in their ears, be it an iPod, a Walkman, whatever. My feeling is still the same, gee this is an antisocial person who doesn't want to deal with the world. I tend to leave such people alone. I do find it rather rude though when I have to interact with such a person and they still leave the earbuds in. That is telling me right there that what I have to impart is much less important than what is coming over the headset. At least have the common courtesy to extract the ear phones and talk like a normal human being.

As for cell phones, sorry, but they are flat out rude most anytime. That is because the person is talking, usually loudly. You might be able to tune that out, but I can't, and I don't think most people can. These people are so self absorbed, they don't even notice what is going on around them. For example, I was shopping in the store a few weeks ago, and wanted a particular type on the shelf. Sadly, a woman on her phone was standing in front of it, blathering away about meaningless nothings. I excused myself and asked her to move. She wasn't paying attention to me. I asked again, and she still looked right through me. I finally had to raise my voice, and she finally moved, but was staring daggers at me while she commented to her virtual friend about some asshole being rude and wanting her to move.

Sorry, but I think all of these personal electrical gadgets are making our society very anti-social. Try unplugging from the electronics for a while, and try interacting with real people instead. Who knows, you might be pleasantly suprised.

[Mythsaje]

112. I've been dealing with the real world

all my life. I only got a nano for Christmas this last year. Or did you think I lived in a cave until recently? I'm almost forty and I've had to deal with people the whole time, even when it stressed me out. Now the nano acts as a buffer when I need it the most.

That cell phone incident you describe is a great example of how my responses to the world differ from yours. I might have been aggravated, but I would've gone to get another item and came back a few minutes later hoping she was gone. Or edged around her to reach the item anyway. I have no urge to inflict myself on another person unless absolutely necessary.

I rarely, if ever, strike up a conversation with people I don't know. I consider THAT rude. It's not a conscious thing...it just FEELS rude to me. If someone wants to talk to me, they'll say something. It's not anti-social. I LIKE people. But I'm also discomfited by them.

Take a minute to walk in someone else's shoes here and please don't make assumptions. Electronics didn't CAUSE the condition I describe. It existed long before even CD players existed, much less portable MP3 players. It predates the PC, in fact. People make me unreasonably anxious. I learn to deal with it any way I can.

[MadHound]

138. Perhaps you should take your own advice

And walk in other peoples' also from time to time.

So you would have walked away and come back later:shrug: we deal with life differently. I certainly wouldn't have reached around the woman and tried to get the item, that IS flat out rude. As far as coming back later, why should I inconvience myself just to allow this woman to blather meaningless nothings:shrug:

And frankly, I'm probably as much, if not more discomfited by people as you are, my wife lovingly refers to me as a hermit. But I certainly don't cut myself off from the world. Sticking a bud in my ear would do that. Instead of hearing what's going on around me, nature, people, the sound of that approaching out of control car, all would be lost in the din of music.

Instead I've learned to adapt. And I've found that talking with strangers, far from being rude, can provide some of the most interesting contacts you can find in life. Always good to have that different perspective:shrug:

But hey, to each their own. Just don't impose your cell phone conversations on me, OK, I don't want to hear them. As far as your nano goes, well, if I ever meet you in person I will take that as a sign that you don't want to be social. A loss on your part.

[Left Is Write]

145. It's not that he's a hermit...

it's that public situations can trigger anxiety (is that correct, Mythsaje?), which can be very scary.

He's not the guy shouting into his cellphone.

[Mythsaje]

162. That's it...

I want to attract as little notice as possible in public. Just pretend I'm not there. :D For the longest time even going to a cashier made me nervous. I've pretty much gotten over that...the nano helps. I don't have to think about it before I get there. I go on automatic pilot and don't spend the ten minutes in line thinking of how I'll answer "how are you today?"

[seabeyond]

204. you are interesting. and i walk into a store,

and everyone sees me. lol lol. t easing. but, i just have the energy and i chat with everyone. adn i am not the only one starting conversation, they do it with me. bet i would chat with you in the store too.

hm. polar opposites

[Mythsaje]

215. You probably would...

and I don't take offense at it. I'm usually happy to talk to someone who wants to talk to me on a one to one basis...I'm just not comfortable initiating conversation or being the center of attention for a number of people. Weird, huh?

[Joe Fields]

272. Why do people make you so anxious?

[Mythsaje]

155. I usually wear the bud in only one ear...

so as to not completely cut myself off from the world around me. Plus I don't listen to music on my nano. I listen to audio-books, through which most sounds will cut easily enough. It provides a small buffer, but hardly an insurmountable one.

You have to understand that this is a psychological condition I'm speaking of, not some sort of conscious choice. I like people, and I enjoy interacting to some extent, but I don't feel any need to push myself into their world. Quite the opposite, actually. And I can only take so much. If I'm surrounded by a crowd, I'm suddenly claustrophibic.

In the cell phone situation you describe, either way you would have been perceived as rude. At least by reaching around you wouldn't have interrupted her. I think of things like this every time I'm in public. I have to weigh everything I do. Constantly.

[Left Is Write]

161. ...

I've had that happen to me in a big way twice. Crowds outside don't bother me at all. Crowds inside get to me, and twice have made me so anxious that it scared my husband. He got me out of the situations.

[Mythsaje]

169. Outside is easier...

as long as I have an exit path, I'm okay. If I'm completely hemmed in, I'm uncomfortable as hell, inside OR outside.

[Left Is Write]

172. Yep...

I know how that part feels. An exit path is just what's needed.

:)

[ChickMagic]

199. Gawd, I'm the same way.

I thought it was just me. My husband knows to get
me out when I start scanning the floor for a place
to crawl. He doesn't really get it until then.

[seabeyond]

209. me too. my hubby doesnt even expect me to do certain things

he will be so kinds as to say, not your thing and lets me off hook and will do. interesting. huh. wonder what that is about. not cause i am shy either

[Mythsaje]

213. My wife gets that too...

We occasionally go to concerts and things and she's always there when I start to feel a bit panicky. It helps a lot.

[seabeyond]

207. now i dont like group situations,

i cant do church. boyscouts is murder for me when i have to take sons or after school specials. makes my skin crawl a whole lot of people in confined space all the mixed up energy.

[sinkingfeeling]

158. I agree with you, MadHound. These gadgets are creating 'bubble'

people. They are adding to the destruction of a social conscience. Back in my day, people met people in line at the store, bank, etc. and that was how new friends were made. We are destroying our sense of community by insulating ourselves into smaller and smaller groups. This whole reverence for 'family' values has replaced concern for the community, the country, the 'common good', and the welfare of man. People seem to only want to be in contact with their own little group (constantly, it seems for some) and isolated from the rest of mankind. I fear all of this has led us to be so insensitive of others, that we can yell, 'Nuke 'em'.

I think you understand what I'm trying to say.

[Mythsaje]

179. Nice theory

but from my perspective it's total bullshit. I'm one of those who prefers to insulate himself from people he doesn't know, yet I DO give a damn what happens to people all the way around the world. I don't have to know someone, or even WANT to know someone, to care about them.

Look at it another way. No matter HOW far you extend your personal network, you'll never know everyone in the world. So you assume that because you know more people than I do, because you choose to (and comfortably CAN) interact with them, that you automatically care more about people you don't know?

It's not even a rational argument.

If you remember, back when people DID do all these things...formed a community and spoke to one another at the bank or around town, they also referred to other humans of different racial backgrounds with various derogatory terms as a matter of course. I don't have to list these terms, do I?

[sinkingfeeling]

195. Not where I lived. Have you considered counseling for your fear

of strangers? That is a serious question, not condemnation. I, dislike crowds of people, jammed together, like on an overcrowded bus, but my problem is more one of claustrophobia. I found counseling very helpful.

[Mythsaje]

203. I've considered it...

And eventually I might do something about it. I manage pretty well most of the time, and I'm constantly pushing the envelope of what I can handle. Just this week at work I started taking phone orders, and phones are one of my BIG difficulties. I don't like making phone calls or taking phone calls from people I don't know. I'm too easily confused when I'm on a phone and, of course, there are no non-verbal cues.

And, well, frankly, a counselor would be a stranger, and, what's worse, a stranger with authority. Authority is another related issue.

I keep telling my wife if she wants me to go to a doctor for something--anything--all she needs to do is make an appointment for me and I'll go. To miss an appointment would be unbearably rude and I'm compelled to do it.

Sometimes it's like a maze and it's hard to thread my way through it all.

[pitohui]

259. counseling doesn't do anything for social anxiety

he's lived this long, 40 yrs, don't you think he has already tried everything?

this is a bit of bullying here, he has found a small way to adapt and now everyone is picking it apart

[seabeyond]

201. i just have to jump in here. you just keep on being you and if you

are comfortable with it,..... screw the rest. there are quiet shy non interacting people. that is the way they are made. and they set their life up to fit with their style. my brother is so uncomfortable with people, i giggle. i say,.... you are suppose to talk with that parent. i cant he says. huge ass strong dude that appears fearless, except with socializing. and he likes who he is and his life. i say, bully for him, and i talk to the parent, cause i am a mouth. and i talk and i talk. that irritates some. but no one will suggest i get help, cause it is more socially acceptable

this is why i went into this whole thread in the first place. we have got to allow, and maybe even appreciate individuality and allowing people to be, wihtout getting so bothered. and btw... the whole athroom thing. woman, talking and going to bathroom in groups. been doing it since a kid. a girl thing.

unless of course you see it as a problem? doesnt sound to me like it, but might have missed it

[Mythsaje]

210. Sometimes it makes life difficult...

Dealing with other people is like a puzzling maze of contradictions at times, and, though my wife understands some of my difficulties intellectually, the fact is that she doesn't really get some of them. And different days pose different problems. Sometimes I'm fine and feel pretty sociable, other times I don't, yet I don't have much of a choice.

I also respect individuality. I think it's important to "leave others their otherness." It took me a long time to realize that certain behaviors I think of as rude aren't necessarily rude to others. I've grown accustomed to the idea that some things I'm compelled to do aren't necessarily things I have a right to require of other people.

[seabeyond]

212. things I'm compelled to do aren't necessarily things I have a right to

require of others


i think this is my big thing and the lesson i came too. especially with the people that have come into my life. all os different. that has to be allowed. and learning we all need to be respectful that the other isnt going to want it exactly as we do

ya

gotta pick up kids

was interesting. thank you for sharing your stuff

[MadHound]

202. I understand perfectly, and thank you

For articulating so well the point I was trying to present.

Everywhere I go, I see people plugged in, plugged into their cell phone, their iPod, their laptop, whatever. And for them, the rest of the world simply doesn't exist. Sadly, these people seem to be replacing the real world with a virtual world. Thank God I'm married now, I can't imagine how hard it would be trying to approach a woman that you wish to get to know when she is plugged into her phone or pod or computer.

I think that within a generation or two, all of our human interaction will be virtual, through computer screen, or on a phone. How sad, and how very dehumanizing when your closest human contact is nothing more than a signal, a group of bits and bytes glowing from a screen.

[northzax]

320. ironic, ain't it?

that someone who has taken the time to post 2000 times a year (that's 6 times a day) on an internet message board would complain about human interaction becoming virtual only. Think about that for a second, you obviously have no problems with virtual community, what is it that you are afraid of? Or is it only a problem when other people are plugged into virtual worlds that you may not be a part of?

seriously, anyone who spends any time on DU complaining about virtual community has some cojones. what do you think this is, again?

[in_cog_ni_to]

48. The real kicker for me ..one day in a restaurant, we were having lunch and

there was a couple sitting in a booth next to us and BOTH OF THEM WERE ON THEIR CELL PHONES TALKING TO OTHER PEOPLE THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE FREAKIN' MEAL! I couldn't believe it. Not only is it rude to hold a cell phone conversation in a restaurant (who wants to listen to you and what you have to say to whomever is on the other end of the phone? NOT ME!), but to sit there with your wife/girlfriend and have a 1 hour conversation while you eat is just plain wrong. They looked really stupid too. Nothin' like have a nice lunch with the significant other while talking on the phone with someone else the entire time.:eyes:

The moral of my story...THERE'S A TIME AND PLACE FOR EVERYTHING. THERE'S A TIME AND PLACE TO TALK ON YER FREAKIN' CELL PHONE AND WHEN IN A RESTAURANT OR INTERACTING WITH OTHER PEOPLE.....PUT THE FREAKIN' PHONE DOWN! TURN IT OFF! I Hate using my cell phone. I use it ONLY when I have to...IN AN EMERGENCY and HANDS FREE IN THE CAR.

[seabeyond]

55. were you unable to have your own conversation at your table?

i aM REALLY NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY WE DECIDE THEY LOOK SILLY. OR WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS WRONG. OR THAT WE ARE FORCED TO LISTEN TO THEIR CONVERSATION. (sorry for the cap) who says there is a time and place, and who is going ot tell me where my time and my place is, and does that mean i get to tell you your time and place. and why do we care anyway if there iist any interference in our own ability to hear and converse....???

i think we have been conditioned to be bothered. i am just not bothered. people... dont bother me this much

[tkmorris]

85. You protest too much

You go on and on about none of the behaviors being spoken of here bother you, and yet this very thread seems to be irking you out of your socks. You just can't stop responding to it, telling others (in ever increasingly abrupt tones) how they are wrong to be so uptight about things.

Looks to me as if you feel the need to display your tolerance on a giant neon billboard that you carry on your back at all times, while loudly proclaiming its existence to all who pass within earshot just in case they fail to notice. If you REALLY want to be tolerant stop being so judgemental and try to understand where other people on this thread are coming from.

[seabeyond]

91. so am i suppose to shut up now to show you how tolerant i am and how i

am not bothered or am i suppose to interact with you and respond to your post so i am not rude?

why, because we have a world where there is little patience. on the whole i do not have a world where it is interupted by people with cell phone. i dont find a world where people behave as such. it does seem to be the thing to make a deal about now a days

i hear the same about the children in this world if you have been on any of the keep children under cotrol, dont let them in public thread. i have seen it on many things. the lack of patience in general with man kind. i think we can be a kinder world. i dont think so many things people are getting worked up about is worth it, or healthy. and i think it is effecting all of us in a negative way

i am sorry that you see i am abrupt. that could be an interpretation on your part. it isnt correct. i get to say this, cause after all, i know better than you. just as you get to tell me how you feel, i cannot tell you

yes, the lack of tolerance, from every direction bothers me. not the cell phone user, or the child, or the old person, or the person that wants to tell me their life story......

anyway....just sharin

but no,.... cell phone users dont bother me, lol

[lukasahero]

121. "i dont find a world where people behave as such."

But you feel compelled to tell people who do live in a world where people behave as such how they should feel about it? Sounds to me like you're telling people to get over something you have no concept of.

FTR, sometimes people just come here to rant. They can't actually tell the person screaming in their cell phone to STFU and get out of their face (that would be rude) so they come here to get it off their chest and get some commiseration. I'm afraid the OP expected that and might be shocked to realize how frustrated many of us are with the very real "world were people behave as such".

[seabeyond]

126. i guess i am just really blessed,...children, cell phones

all the rest of the behaviors that just inflict all others, just are not abundant in my world. why???? do not know. sorry your life is such hell

now whiners. i do get a lot of whiners. maybe that is my curse. lol lol

[converted_democrat]

130. If I go out for a nice meal and drop a couple hundred dollars to eat,

the last thing I want to hear is someone gabbing about their personal life while I'm trying to enjoy a meal.. It's rude, unthoughtful, and disrespectful to others.. People often go to restaurants for "ambiance" and I don't drop cash like that to listen to people yak loudly on a cell phone.. Sometimes it feels as if our society is falling apart.. What happened to common courtesy, respect, and basic manners?

[Klapaucius]

262. Regarding common courtesy....

Doesn't exist anymore. I spent several years doing technical support and corporate helpdesk support. You have no idea how bad it gets sometimes. Thankfully, I work a graveyard shift now, and I don't have to deal with the idiocy quite as much any more. I'm lucky if I get 2 calls a night. Most of the time I just have to deal with the on-call folks if something goes wrong. Most of them are easy to get along with and I do my best to be polite, especially if I'm waking them up at 3am to deal with a database issue.

Doing the technical support and helpdesk support helped me see how rude people are in the real world. I think it's a symptom of the swing so far to the right. People are very much into the 'screw you, I got mine' mindset. As a matter of fact, I'd pretty much withdrawn from most direct contact with people. Hell, I don't talk to my parents that often, and they're just 10 miles down the road, and a local phone call. That's changed a little since I met my sweetheart. I don't loathe going out and interacting with folks quite as much anymore.

As for cell phone, I do have one. When my son was here every other week, I had to deal with my ex's moving out to the coast, 100+ miles one way, and she and her new husband refused to do any of the driving. I also did some corporate support for a while, where I would go and do contract work at several sites during the day. I don't need it as much nowadays, but it still comes in handy. I use a bluetooth headset, and voice dialing, if I actually need to make a call. I've helped friends in emergencies who couldn't otherwise get in contact with me. I don't make a point to be rude. If I am in a store, I take the headset off or turn it off, and I make it abundantly clear that I'm dealing with the person in front of me, not talking on the phone to someone else.

The other nice thing about cells, is that they don't get called by telemarketers. Those are the rudest folks, in my opinion.

[newportdadde]

Yeah saw a guy do that a few months ago.

His poor wife is just sitting there in silence while he calls and talks and this wasn't life threatening conversations either and he was the one calling. The last one was something like:

"Hey Mark this is John." "Ow nothing just wanted to see if you wanted to do something tomorrow, ow I don't know... etc etc."

I felt really bad for the lady with him. Talk about being treated like a non-entity.

[Mythsaje]

84. My wife and I

usually whip out our PDAs and read during lunch or dinner or whatever. We probably look weird to other people, but :shrug: ah, well.

[Left Is Write]

127. But you're not bothering anyone else in that situation.

[Mythsaje]

139. No, but I'm sure there are people that think

we should be conversing. She's a reviewer, and has to meet deadlines, and if she's too busy to talk, I have to do SOMETHING to entertain myself...LOL

[Left Is Write]

146. I wouldn't worry about what other people think.

You aren't being rude, you aren't bothering other patrons, and you and your wife are both happy.

[Mythsaje]

181. I try not to think about it...

It's easier that way. :)

[ShortnFiery]

49. Cell phone etiquette is a serious issue on the AMTRAK

to and from D.C. for commuters.

There is even a separate "quiet car" where people can get away from the constant loud blather of obsessive-compulsive cell phone use.

Trust me: If someone answers a call in the quiet car, they best leave tout suite lest they be physically drop kicked out. :P

There was a guy talking loud, talking long in one of the other cars. When he finally hung up ... he said the customary "Good bye" which was instantaneously followed by half the people in the area yelling back at him "Good-bye!" I think he got the message. :rofl:

[newportdadde]

52. Well I'm not a cashier but as someone in line I hate cell phones.

Basically I don't want to hear your converstation which about 99% of the time is about useless shit. I guess I'm crazy I have a prepaid emergency cell phone and thats it *gasp*. Seems like everyone has to have em stuck in their ear 24/7 now. My favorite are the teens, just what is so important you have to call right now. "Like omg he likes her! And then I was like OMGZ no he doesn't!"

About 4 years ago my wife and I decided to go get some breakfast. While we wait to be seated I get to meet the most ANNOYING cell phone user of all time guy about ow in his late 50s. It goes something like this.

Guy makes call.

"Hi Mary!" You can hear the whole conversation 10 feet away.
"Ow what was that? WHAT DID YOU SAY!"
"Ow yeah we are just about through KC. We decided to stop and have breakfast at Perkins."
"What? Yeah Perkins"

Hangs up phone. So I think its over.

Guy makes call.

"Hey its Bob!"
"Yeah I just wanted to call and say hi." "What ow yeah?"
"Well we decided to stop and get something to eat... at Perkins"

This stupid fucker called 6 separate people to give the news that yes *drumroll* they were eating at Perkins.

My wife and I still joke about this whenever we go out lol.

[redwitch]

82. LOL

"I'll alert the media"

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

54. The one thing I hate about cell phones

are the headset users walking down the street, talking loudly and gesturing wildly. Thirty years of big-city living have trained my nervous system to react automatically to crazy people talking to themselves, and I don't appreciate false alarms.

Wait, there's one thing I hate even more. The headset users who look at me like "WTF?" when I am startled by their seeming address to me. At least the ipod listeners keep their mouths shut.

[Mythsaje]

87. I actually get a laugh out of it.

Ten years ago if someone was walking around talking to themselves, you KNEW what to think. Now? They're probably on a hands-free. Maybe. Or talking to grandpa's ghost. <g>

[Hell Hath No Fury]

95. Ha!

I hate that too!

I was walking down one of our "shwank" streets here in SF, Union Street, when I noticed an inordinant number of people walking along by themselves talking loudly to the thin air. It was really unnerving to me.

My immediate thought was that it was like walking amongst a bunch of unmedicated schizophrenics!

[Left Is Write]

131. My daughter walks around the house talking to her boyfriend

on her hands-free headseat.

It can be very unnerving!

My husband has one also, but he uses it only in the car if he has to take a call. Otherwise, he just uses his handset.

[IselaB]

96. LOL

"The one thing I hate about cell phones are the headset users walking down the street, talking loudly and gesturing wildly. Thirty years of big-city living have trained my nervous system to react automatically to crazy people talking to themselves, and I don't appreciate false alarms."

That's great stuff.

[teenagebambam]

105. Headsets were invented

so that crazy people could talk to themselves without attracting undue attention. I'm certain of it.

[Shakespeare]

56. Perhaps you appeared approachable and friendly.

You certainly disabused the woman of that notion, though. Congratulations.

Anybody who can't excise themselves from an electronic gadget long enough to interact with another human being has problems too serious to get into on a political discussion board. Good luck with that.

[proud2BlibKansan]

58. You were rude

Not for listening to your ipod but for what you said to the woman.

[Joe Fields]

63. I wonder how many cell phone users rack up huge charges?

I know several young folk who constantly complain when their monthly phone bill arrives. I have seen cell phone bills upwards of $1,000 a month by these people? It is insane, and yet they don't stop. It is a compulsion, I believe.

[hexola]

76. You're just a rude person...

Self centered, self-rightgeous, self-important...

[mitchum]

80. I always ask cell phone users questions about their conversation...

because it certainly wasn't a PRIVATE one, was it?

[seabeyond]

83. i have done this too. puts a smile on my face. my favorite

is the grocery store and a man calling his wife cause he cant find something. honnnnnneeey.... he says. i always get a giggle

[lukasahero]

90. Excellent.

:rofl:

[LanternWaste]

92. a new social convention is being confronted

I think we're getting to another point in which a new social convention is being confronted. A lot of us in the 35+ year old age bracket were brought up in the manner that we believe phone coversations are private and should be treated as such, yet we're faced with the growing trend of delicately private phone conversations taking place in the most public of places.

Then throw in the ear-piece/mike attachement to cell phones and a true disconnect place place. I still get an odd feeling anytime I see someone talking to themselves and only then realize a moment later that the person is actually having a phone coversation.

Same with the ipod phenomenon. Even in my high school days when the walkman first appeared, there was an unspoken set of manners that accompanied it: advertise (loudly) in some way or another that you're tuning everybody else out, or you're fair game for conversation.

I suppose it's become my responsibility to examine everyone around me to see who has ear-phone in or who's talking into a mike attachment before I may ask a genuinely sincere question or make a comment, but allow us some time to get used to it. Not all of us are in the habit yet of peering into a person's ear to see if it's allowable to talk.

I am learning though-- I've stopped making friendly (albeit idle) conversations with people in line at the grocery store or asking directions from strangers (God forbid I don't use mapquest before I leave my apt.). And I don't worry about people having conversations with themselves anymore as I assume they're on the phone w/ their Doctor asking, "so if I keep taking the pills, how long before the fungus clears up?" when I'm in the frozen foods section.

And I'm sure within our lifetimes, it will actually be considered rude to talk to anyone lest they're in their own world, because as I'm learning, there's never enough time to listen to a particular song except for "right here and right now". Social interaction outside of our own circle of friends is highly over-rated, anyway.

Edit to add: Sheesh-- I sounded snarky and sarcastic in that. Didn't mean to come across like that.

[Phx_Dem]

108. good observation

I have been working in retail mgmt for a while now, there is definitely differences in cell phone use based on age. I cannot believe it when I see "kids" taking on the phone while they eat. Who wants to listen to them eat?

True story, I am in the bank a lot, I was standing in line one day, a woman was at the teller window, robbing the bank, talking on the cell phone the entire time. Only after she got the cashiers cash did she stop her cell phone conversation long enough to call the cashier a bitch as she ran out. The robbers were all apprehended, BTW.

[redwitch]

109. Great post, no need to apologise!

:applause:

[Left Is Write]

140. My iriver...

My husband gave me my iriver so I could listen to music while at the gym or jogging. Music is a great motivator when exercising, and I'm grateful for device small enough to wear while I'm doing it. The only other time I use it is when I want to listen to music without disturbing the rest of the family after they've gone to bed. It's a wonderful little thing.

I have no intention of making it a 24/7 thing, if only because I don't want to damage my hearing by the constant feeding of noise directly into my ears. Besides, I would definitely feel funny tuning everyone out all the time.

I never did own a Walkman or a Discman.

[Blue_In_AK]

141. I'm of that generation...

Even at home, I take the phone out of range of anybody else hearing, for the sake of my privacy and so as not to impinge on my husband's TV watching or whatever. To my old way of thinking, telephone conversations should be private. I don't own a cell phone and don't miss having one.

[Mythsaje]

186. Welcome to my world...

<<And I'm sure within our lifetimes, it will actually be considered rude to talk to anyone lest they're in their own world>>

This has always been the case for me.

[supernova]

94. You were rude to her

You could have said "I don't know," instead of lecturing to her about how very much more import your music is than her request. That's where I think you were wrong.

Listening to your iPod is not as important as responding to another human being who needs assistance, even if it as a fairly incuous piece of information.

[TX-RAT]

123. Thank You

[IselaB]

101. I think you're a narcissist projecting your narcissism on others

It's kind of frightening to think there may be a whole generation of people growing up programmed by technology to be like you.

[ShortnFiery]

103. Oh, IMO, you're ok, young and still time to evolve ...

I wouldn't think twice about asking you again if I saw you listening to your blessed Ipod. It's called "public common courtesy."

Some of the BEST conversations I have enjoyed have been while waiting in a long grocery line. You meet some really nice people. It beats the heck out of spacing-out, making a phoneCON or paging through the tabloids in order to kill time. BTW I often take my electronic solitare game with me, then I can converse and sharpen my brain all at the same time! :hi:

[Vinca]

102. You were rude.

Just my opinion, but with the world such an upsetting mess 99% of the time, it makes a difference to be kind, polite and . . . heaven forbid . . . even smile at a stranger once every so often.

[devilgrrl]

104. You're just a self-centered ass.

You can't put the phone down for 2 seconds to treat the cashier like a human being? Get over yourself!

Bet you were the asshole I was stuck waiting behind at the buffet because you just HAD to answer your phone!!!!!!

Bet the music on your iPod is crap to. But but but she interupted my Kenny G!

[Blue Diadem]

106. yeah..especially driving down the road and having to dodge the idiots

on their cell phones. We watched as one came to a complete stop..partially in the intersection..cell phone in her ear. We were at the cross intersection and our lights were red..she sat there gabbing away, cars going by her until our light turned green and as we slowly went forward she suddenly awoke and went through the intersection on her now very red light..cell phone still in her ear.

and..there's the little kid in Oregon Ohio..he didn't make it to his 6th birthday..got hit last year because some woman was on her cell phone and didn't stop for the bus.

So yeah..if you want to say anti-cell phone is about look at me..I'd say in some cases it is..


edited to add clarity.

[theophilus]

107. Some public cell use is absolutely necessary.

Probably about five to ten percent. The rest of the time just leave it in your pocket or purse, please. I see Cleetus walking through the supermarket parking lot a jawin' to Brandine, I guess, about his or her busy day. It is ludicrous. Our materialistic, "I'm always in touch", society is destroying the world. Yes, productivity can be carried too far. Can't you spend a minute or two actually thinking without something spewing out of your mouth or blasting into your ears? I mean "you" in the very general sense.

And the idea of walking around and coming in contact with other people with your "buds" in your ears is even a bigger turn off! Good Lord! I have tried to work with people who are "plugged in" and it is the worst. I think ego drives all the yakking and Electronic Overdose, imo. Yeah, I'm old fashioned and just old. We are going to just get to where we go around in spacesuits with an inner view screen, I guess. Our music and other entertainment is going to simply overwhelm our humanity.

"Couldn't you see I was listening to something?" Oh, puleeeeeze.

[Mythsaje]

117. You ain't seen nothing yet...

If we don't destroy ourselves, it's only a matter of about fifty years before wetware implants allow people to access the net and communicate with one another without any external devices at all.

[Toucano]

247. And of that 5-10%, all of it can be done without being obnoxious.

At a restaurant, a person should step away from the table in go to the lobby, restrooms, or outside.

In other settings, simply taking a few steps away from the people around you can suffice.

An short "excuse me" apology for the interruption should be given in all cases.

[TX-RAT]

113. I think you pegged about an 8.5 on the rudeness scale.

[file83]

263. I agree. This person is acting like "you can't bother me, I have an iPod."

Well, just for that, I'm going to start going out of my way to ask people with iPods completely meaningless questions, just to piss them off.

(taps on shoulder) "Excuse me sir?"

(pulls iPod earbuds out of ears) *sigh* "Yes, what is it?"

"Umm, yeah, what do you like better, Coke or Pepsi?"

"What? You bothered me just to ask me that?"

"No, I asked you that just so I could bother you."

"Jerk!"

"iSnob."

:evilgrin:

[Catherine Vincent]

114. That is weird that she didn't ask one of the others.

But you were a little rude though.

[Bitter Cup]

115. How about Public Bathrooms?

Is it ok to yap away there as well? I'm wondering where the limits are? It seems like they used to be clear but now suddenly a bunch of people are now literally incapable of wiping their own arses without having a cell phone involved.

Yes it's rude when someone's in line at the store babbling loudly as if the rest of the world wants to hear their drivil. yes it's rude when they aren't paying enough attention to move forward. Yes it's rude when they expect service of others but won't even acknowledge them as they do it. Yes it's rude and no it isn't about the person standing nearby. It is about the bore who can't put their phone on mute long enough to extend a COMMON courtesy.

[Mythsaje]

119. I don't even want to be in a public bathroom

with a quiet person. THAT is where the cell phone use would bug me to death.

[ShortnFiery]

129. Then, with genuine respect

there's more going on than "social taboos."

I hope that some caring and gentle friend helps you to become more "at ease" with regard to getting out in public.

In my old age I have discovered that large crowed public areas wear on my nerves, so in a SMALL way I can empathize.

However, please know that the person who approaches you with a question is most likely LOST and considers you someone who might help them. Although it may increase your anxiety, the person was not, by any stretch of the imagination being rude to YOUR person. They just were requesting your assistance. :-)

[Mythsaje]

134. In that case I WOULD

interact. I actually have no choice at that point. I'll talk to anyone who talks to me. But I don't typically initiate conversation with strangers.

[ShortnFiery]

136. Understood. We're talking past each other. Have a good day. n/t

[lukasahero]

176. Hey, just a question

do you realize you're not talking to the OP?

[seabeyond]

177. i'z confused too. but laughed at having a friend help her with her toilet

issue. lol lol

[ShortnFiery]

225. Hey! We were back to "out in public"

Such phobias do exist, ya know funny guy/gal. :P

[seabeyond]

231. hey

i dont know if you are thinking i make lite of this, anyones infliction. i dont. we all have our oddities. i have lots. we kinda honor them in our family. my oldest, the oddest. 10. so not what all the other kids are. he loves himself just as he is. we love him just as he is. only if it starts bringing pain into life,....do i get beyond the embracing in humor. but never would i slight anyone, really, for any reason. i am not into that.

[ShortnFiery]

233. Hey! I forgot "tongue-in-cheek"

My humor is light hearted and off key often so U no worry. :hi:

[seabeyond]

238. yup

:toast:

[ShortnFiery]

224. Oops, my bad

:blush: Sorry, I find these sentiments rare ... but not so rare, aye?

Never-mind :-)

[northzax]

321. how do you know?

I find at least ten people on this thread who say they deliberatly target people wearing earphones or on mobiles to interrupt them, just because. maybe this woman does as well?

[seabeyond]

147. are we supose to be quiet in a bathroom. damn, i didnt know

i take my son in too, to the womans, cause i dont trust men and he isnt that old yet. and we will talk. even while wiping our arse

[Mythsaje]

190. It just freaks ME out...

Of course, in the men's room they have these nice quarter stalls for us to stand while urinating, within about a foot and a half of the next guy. Totally uncomfortable for me to begin with. I don't necessarily like being that close to another person (male or female) even when I don't have my equipment in my hand.

Add people yakking in a bathroom and I'm big-time stressed almost instantly.

I understand about the kid though. That's one of the situations I'd deal with just because I know how it is. Might make me uncomfortable, but I can stand a little discomfort when the safety of a kid is at stake.

[lukasahero]

159. Isn't talking on the phone

in a private bathroom a little, I don't know, gross?

[Bitter Cup]

165. Can't speak for everyone but I'd be inclined to hang up on anyone

who was busy grunting while on the phone with me. I'd as them if they were having some sort of medical problem first of course. :(

Gross

[Mythsaje]

192. Some people might think so, yeah...

But if I can't see or smell it, what do I care?

[sinkingfeeling]

187. You nailed it! I work for an university and just this week I was in

a stall in a restroom and a young lady came in, saying fairly loudly, "So, where have you been?" I called out, "Excuse me." And realized as she entered another stall that she was on the phone!

Edit to correct grammer.

[seabeyond]

189. lol that is funny. lol

and it all echossss

[Catherine Vincent]

206. I have to confess that I use my cell sometimes in the ladies room

But I always make it a point to be talking on the phone as I enter so that if someone is already in there, they would know I'm not talking to them. And if I'm already in there and hear someone come in, I start talking right away so they'll know I'm not talking to them.

Hey, at least I'm thinking of others. :-)

[LostinVA]

288. OMG -- that is soooo weird!

And disgusting and rude. WTF are you on the phone in a public bathroom? Talking about what you're doing that night? WHY? Why the hell can't I at least pee in peace without listening to your inane conversation? Can't you wait one minute? How the hell long does it take you to pee or change a tampon? And, you would do it even quicker if you pout up the DAMN CELL PHONE.

[Beaverhausen]

124. I wish there was a law against using these things in public places

well, not really - but you think people would have some manners. Plain, simple manners.

If you are paying for something at the store then DO IT!!! Your phone conversation or the music on your ipod will still be there after the 3 minutes is takes you to finish the transaction.

[devilgrrl]

132. Oh, I know...

that the OP thinks he's being discriminated against is so fucking laughable.

[Shakespeare]

133. Gee, I hope the original poster actually checks back into this thread.

I'm sure he'll want to respond to some of the comments here. :sarcasm:

[RB TexLa]

143. The posts have pretty much answered my original question

The answer is yes they want you to look at them. Seems when someone is listening to something on an ipod and a person choses to interrupt that person instead of the 10 or so people within ten feet who are not doing something, the response has been: How rude of you! You do not question them! You do as they tell you and you answer to them!

[Shakespeare]

148. No, it hasn't answered your question.

You've done nothing but affirm your original assertion, with zero consideration whatsoever of what anyone's said on this thread. Good gawd.

[devilgrrl]

149. The answer being that you're a jerk.

Plain and simple.

You don't want to be bothered? Stay home.

[converted_democrat]

170. Wow.. You must be reading the wrong thread, cause I'm reading the

one you posted, and the majority of the people that replied seem to think you were rude..

[Gidney N Cloyd]

182. Maybe...

...she chose not to bother the other 10 because they looked like they were thinking. You, on the other hand, were only listening to an Ipod.

[Mythsaje]

193. I hate to tell you...

but, yeah, you were rude. My arguments re: the legitimacy of listening to ipods and the like in public notwithstanding...

You still have an obligation to behave in a civil manner to other people. Your ipod doesn't trump other human beings.

[RB TexLa]

219. I was civil to the person

I spoke in a friendly voice, I honestly did want to know why she decided to ask me instead of any one of the other people in line. I would have told her where the store she was looking for is located, should I have known.

Did she not have an obligation to be civil? She could have asked any of the other people that were not listening to something. She could have answered when I asked her something in a friendly manner.

What could her thinking have been? "Who should I ask? Oh, you listening to your IPod, take that off and answer my question, and I do not wish to be questioned by you."

[Mythsaje]

221. Maybe it was your original post...

I didn't get the impression you were asking a real question of her about it. As one who learned a LONG time ago that people don't really appreciate that sort of thing, I'd be reluctant to do so myself.

You simply came across as rude in your original post, and I dare say you probably came across as rude to that person as well.

Why she would've approached you rather than someone else I don't know.

[LostinVA]

289. I haven't read that at all

People have been talking (99%) about cell phone use, not Ipod use.

[xultar]

153. People have accidents eating in the car and I don't see anyone mad

at them.

So, I agree.

[seabeyond]

163. hey, lol have any of you driven by me when i was yellin at the kids

and then yellin some more that they are distracting me and gonna get in an accident and die..... then there was the time. ya...

my husand cant get off his cell phone. he fixes puters. and damn if everyone isnt throwing a hissy to get puter fixed to get online

[xultar]

171. My mom could never get beatin & yellin @ us and drivin down pat either!

[seabeyond]

175. oh that one made me just laugh out loud, truly. oh, that is funny

yup. lol lol. just picturing the reachin back trying to get something. (my mom that is. we dont beat today. it is wrong. that was yesterday when it was allowed, lol). that is funny. thanks for the laugh

[Bitter Cup]

166. Funny you should mention this. Yesterday's news had a story on this

and mentioned eating while driving as a major cause of inattention and accidents.

[Mythsaje]

183. Welcome to DU!

There are a thousand potential distractions for the average driver. It's a fact. I find that a lot of drivers pay more attention to other drivers than the vehicles. I do the exact opposite. I pay attention to the cars and ignore the people in them.

[xxqqqzme]

173. this is the biggest concern

in your life? If you want 2 stay wrapped up in your little world, I suggest you don't venture out into the world.

[seabeyond]

185. or, he can do it his way. and we can not be bothered.

all different ways to go about it. i am guessin the dude may need some food and other neccessities. surely we dont want to be brutes

[Lorien]

184. Personally I'm uncomfortable using my iPod or cell phone in a store

I often run into people I know while shopping, and using one of those devices while inside a store somehow seems like you're walking around with a big sign that says "back off-I'm in my bubble". It's different when someone calls their spouse to say "they're all out of salmon. How about grouper"? But just conversing on the phone or listening to your own tunes seems terribly antisocial somehow.

[seabeyond]

188. but this is my question

i feel the same as you. but.... if someone wants to be in a bubble or have a sign that says back off, why not? why are we suggesting that isnt proper behavior. i imagine along with the more sociable people like you and i there is the oppsite, anti social, or shy people. shouldnt we respect that too?

again, i am with you, would never ipod it in public. i feel guilty doing it with kids. but i am not bothered if another wants to

[Mythsaje]

194. I hope you people all realize

that your commentary on the ipod thing is going to bug the crap out of me from now on. I sometimes NEED to be in my own bubble but now I'm going to be wondering in the back of my head... Are people thinking I'm rude because I'm listening to my audiobook?

How evil. :)

[napi21]

191. There's several BIG problems relating to cell/ipod constant use.

I took the time to read almost all of the responses here, and there certainly are many! The BIG reasons everyone should consider when using a cell/ipod etc. constantly ire these:

1. If you are more interested in your listening or conversation than a business transaction, are you SURE you got the right change, were charged the right amount, or the credit slip was really for the amount you think you're signing for? Such an easy target for a cheating cashier!

2. Attackers, kidnappers rapists, etc. always look for the distracted person who's paying little to no attention to their surroundings. Surprise is so much easier, and the perps efforts are almost always successful! Don't you realize you are making yourself a target?

There are many others I could list, but those two are the most overlooked! Think about it.

[Mythsaje]

196. It's called being smart about it...

#1 isn't an issue for me. I don't listen while I'm making a transaction.

#2 isn't either, but that's because I only have one ear bud in place, I can hear everything that's going on around me, and I'm always tracking my surroundings anyway. I've NEVER looked like a victim. I learned at an early age that awareness is one of the most important aspects of self-defense.

[napi21]

205. YOU may be, but MOST are NOT! Hell, at least 1/2 the American

people don't pay attention to their surroundings WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE a cell or ipod! Those items just make matters worse!

I'm not trying to preach, although I guess it sounds like that. I'm just trying to make at least a few people aware that they are outting themselves in jeopardy when they're distracted. If only ONE reads it and says hmmm, that might be right, I've done something good.

[Mythsaje]

211. I used to teach self-defense...

and that was one of the things I made sure to mention early on. Self-defense starts LONG before there's any physical interaction. If you're aware of your surroundings to the point that it's obvious, you don't make a target of yourself.

[napi21]

217. That's RIGHT! Many years ago, the City of Pgh. police held a

class for women. It was really cheap, something like $5.00! I don't remember all the words, but I do remember several points of instruction.

Always walk with your head up, never hanging down watching the ground.

Always look like you know where you're going and with a purpose.

Walk with determination.

Keep your eyes and ears open and be aware of everything around you.

There were many others, but the basic idea was that attackers don't want a victim who might fight back, so they always look for one who is lost, distracted, pre-occupied, or vulnerable in some way.

I worked in the City, and many nights I didn't leave the office until 10 or 11 PM to walk to the parking lot about 4 block away, and as you can magine, deserted at that time of night. I did that for 13 years, and I never had it fail me.

[Mythsaje]

220. Yep...

It's good advice.

It probably helps me that I wear a hoodie most of the time, except in the heat of a summer day, so people can't see my single ear-bud. Plus I am, by nature, extremely aware of the proximity of other humans. If someone can get within ten feet of me without me knowing it, audio-book or not, they're a bloody ninja. ;)

[Blue Diadem]

200. From someone who was chased and attacked inside a dept. store

I very much agree! Even though advances have been made in security cameras etc. over the last 35 yrs, I still want to be aware of my surroundings.

[noonwitch]

197. People addicted to their cell phones think they are important

I greet at the doors at church every Sunday. Before the service starts, an request is always made to turn off cell phones and beepers. Someone almost always doesn't, and the phone goes off during prayer time or the sermon. Other people can't even wait until they leave the church to turn on their phones and are talking on them as they walk out the door.

I guess everyone needs to feel important sometimes.

[ComerPerro]

208. Personally, i think its rude to be on a cell phone while at a checkout

or when interacting with people in any way at all.

But, in your example, if people interrupt you or your call, that's a different case...

[sendero]

214. I have to chime in..

...

I use my cell phone a lot. Ocassionally, I'll use it in a store or someplace. I keep my voice low, I can't stand people who call attention to themselves on their phones. Boors.

I rarely would approach the checkout on the phone - but I do so occassionally. I generally tell the caller to "hold on a sec", but for some transactions even that is not necessary. Certainly I will acknowledge the cashier with a smile or something, but I don't buy into the the social obligation of doing so as so many here seem to. Here in Dallas, you are lucky if the cashier pays you any more attention than the store requires. I don't feel a reciprocal obligation to anyone who treats me like a non-entity anyway.

Folks who spend their out-in-the-world time with a MP3 player or cell phone at their ear have made a calculation. They are more likely to gain satisfaction from their music or their friend than from the outside world. This is a personal calculation, different for everyone and probably made based on experience. It's really nobody else's business.

[Mythsaje]

216. I can appreciate that approach...

I agree with the loud cell phone people. Of course, as I already established in this thread...the last thing I want to do is call attention to myself.

[theophilus]

218. In original Hitchhiker's Guide TTG it was "digital watches" today

it would definitely be cell phones and iPods. :eyes:

[fishnfla]

223. What did cell phone users do before the had hells lil' toy?

It is clealy obvious to my eyes that they are incapable of being polite or thinking clealy

[mitchum]

229. They didn't reflect or even daydream because those require an...

interior life.
The majority of cell phone usage is the triumph of MARKETING technology to the BANAL.

[ecstatic]

228. Who cares as long as you're at normal voice level, not yelling

And not slowing down other people. It's the loud, obnoxious conversations in small confined areas that would get to me.

I must say that your outburst towards the lady was mean. She might not have seen your headphones. I'm guessing you're 21 and under?

[mdmc]

234. What type of BMW do you drive, RGBolen?

I'm just kidden. Peace and low stress.

[Raine]

237. Whoa that is so rude

and uncivil of you. :-( Possibly the woman thought you were the most intelligent looking person in the line answering her like that proved otherwise. Would have been better to not responded to her at all. In the time it took you to give her a rude response you could have just as easily said "sorry I can't help you".

[LittleClarkie]

239. What phone call could possibly be so important

that it's worth being rude to the people around you to take it?

[RB TexLa]

241. ..

1) I wasn't on a telephone call, I was listening to an IPod

2) I wasn't rude to anyone

[REP]

242. I Have a Zillion Gizmos

Most afternoons, you can find me outside having coffee, listening to the news on my iFM (hooked up to an iPod) with my phone out in case I get any messages (my Loved One usually sends messages instead of calling) while reading. This, to me, says "I'm busy, thank you." If you're one of my friends, I'll pull out the noise-cancelling earbuds and put aside the book or magazine, and if I get a message, I'll check to make sure it's not important (or in the unlikely event a call comes in, I'll check to see who's calling - if it's one of my doctors, I'll answer) and talk to you.

If you're someone I don't know, I'll pull out an earbud long enough to find out what you - usually directions, which I'll give. If you want to be my new bestest friend and tell me all about your problems ... well, I'm fresh out of money, sorry.

If I'm done reading and there's no one around - I mean, literally, no people in my seating space - I might call someone and talk at the same volume that I'd use if they were next to me, and about the same subjects ... after all, I'm in public on an open carrier. If I get a call when I'm driving, well, that's why I have the headset (doesn't happen very often, though). Most of the time, though, the phone is an email device and a clock!

Even before the blessing of of the iPod, a lot of people didn't seem to understand that I was where ever I was by myself reading *because* I wanted to be by myself, reading. With an iPod, it's a lot easier to get on with the reading.

[RoyGBiv]

243. It's rude ...

Is it not rude for a cashier to be talking on the phone while you're standing there? Can't he or she simply ring up your purchases and point at the readout of the register? I've had cashiers do that to me, and I walk out when they do without making my purchase.

Maintaining a cell phone conversation, or listening to your iPod, or anything along these lines makes a statement that goes something like this: "You don't matter to me. I'm just going to stand here, in my own bubble, making it clear that no one outside that bubble means one little thing to me. What's more, when I'm using my cell phone, I'm going to make sure you understand how much I don't care whether you exist by having a personal conversation in your presence and ignore the fact you exist even though you're right there in front of me. I may even divulge some personal secrets because, ya know, you don't exist and so can't hear it anyway." I could go on. And no, I'm not suggesting anyone needs to run around striking up conversation with every random person you meet.

Having a phone conversation in your home in the same room as other people is also rude.

As for why it irritates cashiers, it's fairly simple. They have a job to do, and they have been trained that this job entails interacting with people. They can't do their job when you're on a phone talking to someone else. They may not even be consciously aware of why it irritates them, but that's what it boils down to. They have "be engaging" hammered into their heads from the day they are hired, and those that actually learn this and do their jobs as expected experience a stress reaction that gets rather irritating after awhile when customers don't allow them to do that job.

There's also another element that may enter a cashier's mind, but I'm not sure how universal it is. I know it was one thing I thought about, and I flatly refused to finish a transaction with anyone who was not paying attention. Cashiers, especially those working in high-volume, high-traffic stores, are accused on an almost daily basis of not giving correct change, of charging the wrong price, or, my personal favorite, charging for items not purchased. Sometimes the complaints are valid, others not. Regardless, what I started to notice after cell phones became more and more ubiquitous was that these types of complaints were coming more often from people who had been in the store using a cell phone, left, then came back later to lodge the complaint. It's almost impossible to verify one of these complaints *after* a customer has left the store unless we're talking about a large amount of money, yet, unless we're talking about a large amount of money, the customer often is given the benefit of the doubt if they press the issue at all. That ends up coming out of the cashier's pocket. When I would complete a transaction, I never put money in the register until I'd counted change, never rang up or bagged items unless the customer was watching me, and sought some sort of verbal cue that everything had been completed satisfactorily. When I went into management, I insisted this be the manner my employees worked as well. When both the customer and the cashier are fully engaged with each other during the transaction, cash variances and customer complaints are kept to a minimum.

As a person who works with the public, I've become somewhat accustomed to the person who seems to have an incessant need to be on the phone, but in my job, it is especially irritating. A person who comes to see me *cannot* do business without speaking to me. Yet some of them walk in, with their phones on, and then walk up to me with a "just a minute" finger in the air telling me to wait until they're done, which often takes quite a long time. I have unfortunately had to resort to talking over their phone conversation to speed the process because I do not have the time to sit and wait on them while other clients are waiting.

[TorchTheWitch]

244. Face it, you were rude

Really now, look at your response to this woman...

"Could you not see that I was listening to something? Could you not have asked any of these people where that place is?"

She requested assistance and you CHASTISED her for it. Who cares why she didn't ask any of the other people. Maybe she didn't notice you were plugged in. Maybe she perceived yours to be the friendliest of faces. It doesn't matter why she picked you. When you actually CHASTISE someone who requests help, you're fucking rude.

[Toucano]

245. Exactly 0%. It's not anti-cell phone, it's anti-asshole.

You're voilating a deeply-rooted social norm when you, "...hand a coke or bag of chips to a cashier at a store and then see the price and give them the money," without saying "hello", "good morning" or any other appropriate greeting, followed by a "thank you" upon conclusion of your business.

In other words, you're being rude.

I would have refused to acknowledge your presence until you completed your other "business".

There is a HUMAN BEING on the operating end of that cash register and they deserve to be treated like it.

As for your problem with you iPod, I would guess it's the earbuds. People don't immediately see them. They simply see an intelligent looking HUMAN BEING who might be able to help them, so they approach you. You repay this compliment with a little outburst about having your personal space violated in such an aggregious manner. So, no, she likely couldn't see that you were listening to something, and if she had, she certainly wouldn't have imagined that it was so vitally important to you that seeking your assistance would merit a conflict.

You do realize we're trying to have a civilization here, don't you?

[shadowknows69]

254. "You do realize we're trying to have a civilization here, don't you?"

Best line I've seen in a long time. Bravo Toucano.

[tammywammy]

258. excellent post!

It's what I was thinking, but you put it perfectly.

[BooScout]

246. My grocery experience.....

I'm walking down the aisle of Kroger trying to shop. Guy in front of me is wandering around.....trying to shop and dial his cell phone at the same time. As I'm trying to get to the cheerios he finally get's his call put thru and the conversation goes like this....."Hi.....what's going on? Me? I'm not doing much....just shopping at the grocery store. How's the weather?"......a relly IMPORTANT conversation you see...........and all the while he's not paying a damn bit of attention to what he's doing, blocking the aisle, getting in people's way, sharing a boring conversation about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that no one wants to listen to.

I say put down the damned cell phone once in a while and pay attention to the rest of the world. We are not here as a backdrop while you float your way thru an electronic communication haze.

You were rude. People who insist on using them in that manner are rude and if anyone has an ego problem it would be you for even thinking that we give a shit that you were inconvenienced.

Have a nice day.

*damn that felt good to get that out*:evilgrin:

[Yollam]

248. If you talk on the phone while dealing with others, you are very rude.

Don't try to distort others' perfectly reasonable surprise at your rudeness into something that it is not. Your iPod anecdote also shows your considerable rudeness.

[file83]

264. You think that's rude? Listen to this....

Last year I had a big meeting with Motorola in Phoenix with one of our vendors that flew in from Malaysia just for this meeting. They were pitching their product that my company would be supplying to Motorola (if we got the contract).

So when the time came for the President of the Malaysian company to speak, about 60 seconds into it, the MAIN Motorola guy (the client) picked up his two way pager and started reading an email. He then started typing away for like 5 minutes and completely ignored the mans presentation.

I was so pissed off, but kept my cool and we got the contract, but still. Can you imagine flying half way around the world for a meeting only to have the person you are pitching to completely ignore your presentation just to zap out a stupid fucking email?

Some people have no clue.

[DeaconBlues]

255. I was carrying out research with human participants yesterday

and one fellow's cellphone went off. He actually answered the phone, but told the caller "I'm busy right now." I thought that was the end of that, but a few minutes later when there a lull in the experiment he actually called the person back and asked "What did you want?"!

Yeah, maybe the reason I was pissed off was becuase I was thinking look at me, but I got a dissertation to finish damn it!


I have had similar things occur while teaching. Cellphones are the bane of mankind.

[tammywammy]

257. Being a former cashier

and customer service person, nothing is ruder than someone yapping on their cell phone when you're trying to help them.

Starbucks was the worst. Someone would be on the phone from the moment they walked in, were in line, all the way up to the cashier (I'm talking about morning rush, when there's a constant 10 people in line minumim). I'd politely ask "what can I get for you?" and if I was ignored because they were too busy, I'd move on to the next person. As soon as they were off the phone, I'm more than willing to help you, but don't stand there yapping & ignoring me, when I'm trying to help you.

[IsIt1984Yet]

260. Seemingly going against the grain here and agreeing with you 100%

[RB TexLa]

261. thank you

[fishwax]

266. I think it's rude to be on the cell phone while dealing with the cashier

I think it's rude to the cashier, and since the transaction probably takes longer due to less efficient communication, it's rude to any other customers in line as well.

As for the lady asking directions--if i were in need of questions, I wouldn't ask somebody who was listening to music, unless there was nobody else to ask. But then again, if other people are deep in thought, why is it any ruder to interrupt their thought than to interrupt one's listening?

[Speed8098]

267. As you can see, you are wrong

This is actually a good post. This topic needs to be discussed.

As a rule of thumb, I only talk on my cell phone when I do not have to deal with others and I always use my hands free device in the car.

Sometimes an important call will come at an inopportune time and I will always ask the caller if I can call them back in a little while. Most people understand and unless it's a dire emergency they agree.

Show some respect for your fellow human beings. Look a cashier in the eye when you speak to them, they are just as important as you are.

[B Calm]

268. Call me conservative, but most of the people I know waste a lot

of money having a cell phone.

[Lorax]

269. I can remember when

a guest in our home asked to use our phone, and my parents would give them the phone to use in the other room so they could have their privacy while they used the phone. I also remember when all phonebooths had doors on them because phone conversations were considered private. I'm not that old either.

I don't understand who people have to be on the phone with all the time. And how do you have anything to talk about when everyone is on the phone all the time? How can anything interesting be going on in your life if you are just talking on the phone all the time.

I'm sorry if you have social anxiety, but I can't help but wonder if people spent more time learning how to interact in society then it wouldn't cause so much anxiety. That woman was rude for asking you directions? I find that to be so sad that you actually think that.

[RB TexLa]

270. no social anxiety

The woman was rude for chosing the one person in the line that was doing something. The idea that her thought process of "you, you will stop what you are doing and answer me. And I will not accept being questioned by you." I guess I was just to "do as I was told."

[HuskerDU]

312. You told off some unassuming random lady at the store for

simply asking a question and somehow the lady was the rude one?!?

Haven't the responses to this thread made you at least wonder slightly if YOU were the one in the wrong?

[RB TexLa]

319. I did not "told off" anyone, I asked her something in a friendly voice

to which the person in front of and the person behind me in line said "really," and "yes, good God," and they were both talking about the lady's behavior. Think about it, she expects me to stop doing something to answer what she wants to ask me, yet I may not address any question to her.

[Jim__]

273. Why would a cashier's sighing and rolling their eyes bother you?

Do you expect them to look at you and treat you politely because you're at the register transacting with them? Do you have some sort of ego problem?

[Seabiscuit]

275. The cashier should have told him to get in the back of the line until

he's ready to turn his cellphone off. There are other customers waiting to transact business, and he's interfering with them.

If he got nothing more than a roll of the eyes he got off too easy.

Rude sombich.

[GaYellowDawg]

276. Honestly? You were an asshole.

It wasn't like taking the earbuds out, answering a question, and putting them back in destroyed your day, or was really hard work. It wasn't like you missed a song you could never hear again.

You would have expended as little effort pointing the place out or saying "I don't know" as you did "Could you not see that I was listening to something? Could you not have asked any of these people where that place is?"

You chose to be an asshole when you could have helped someone out with the same small effort. Frankly, it's the kind of personal philosophy that I would expect from a freeper.

On edit: One more thing. You do this to the wrong person, and you're going to end up in a hospital with your iPod up your ass... and you will deserve it.

[RB TexLa]

277. no, no one is going to commit a crime against me because of this

[nonconformist]

278. This sounds like flamebait to me, seems fishy

I mean, I can't imagine that someone would want to publicize their rudeness like this without an agenda.

[alcibiades_mystery]

290. For all appearances

You appear to be a rude motherfucking asshole.

Seriously, RGBolen. We're trying to have a fucking society here.

[RB TexLa]

291. I'm not at all

[DrGonzoLives]

294. For those here excoriating the OP

A question: Since when am I obligated to DROP EVERYTHING and speak to you so you can pass the time?

If you have a problem with silence, or not being able to interact with someone for more than five minutes, that's your problem, not mine. If I'm reading, or listening to music, or on the phone, that means I DO NOT WANT TO SPEAK WITH YOU UNLESS I HAVE TO. Believe it or not, some of us are built differently. We don't like inane small talk with people we don't know. It is stressful and aggravating.

Yes, I always put the phone away at the register, or when speaking to the waitress, and minimize how long I talk when out in public. Yes, people being really loud and obnoxious on their phones aggravates me. People at the next table in a restaurant having a loud group conversation do the same thing. Yet no one seems to be bitching about something like that.

[mdmc]

299. we are living in a society!

(quoting George Costanza - Seinfeld's restaurant episode).

[DrGonzoLives]

302. And why does this mean

I have to DROP EVERYTHING to talk to the next co-dependent dickweed who just can't stand not hearing the sound of his own voice constantly yapping?

[mdmc]

304. yes.

that is what it means.:)

(Actually, it is all Karma. I wouldn't worry too much about it...)

Remember the Seinfeld restaurant episode?

George to Jerry: "Do you got my back? If anything goes down?" (George wanted to fight the rude man).
Later.
Rude man passes George: (turns to speak to George)"Hey. I'm sorry I took so long on the phone."
George: (fawning) "Oh, it is no problem at all."

[titoresque]

311. The woman the OP described

was asking for directions.......not trying to make meaningless small talk.

[Darth_Kitten]

295. You're joking, right?

You pay attention to your customers, that's your JOB? I don't do my job while yakking on another line with one of my friends.
What you do is beyond tacky and rude.

[CornField]

298. Along the lines of etiquette, it's rude to both parties

It's rude to the cashier AND it is rude to the person on the other end of the phone. Why? Because neither one is getting your full attention to the interaction at hand. The proper thing to do would be to ask the person on the phone to excuse you for a moment while you complete the transaction with the cashier, then you can come back on the line with the other person.

As for the rest, I don't think people are trying to assault you with questions, forcing you to remove the ear buds, I think they are viewing you as someone approachable. When I'm out with mine, I've noticed that many people come up to me as well. I think it is two-fold: 1) They see that you are comfortable in the space around and, therefore, assume you are from the area and might be best equipped to answer questions and 2) I think people with semi-expensive technology are viewed as "safer" somehow. Regardless of the cause, however, I think you should be happy with the outcome. Obviously, people find you approachable. What's the harm in that?

[MsTryska]

301. Personally I think it's rude

to be chatting on a cellphone, whilst interacting with a real live human being in front of you. (ie the register person)


I think it's rude when i'm on the other end of the call, and I think it's rude when you are standing in front of me.


i also think people who walk around talking into their headsets look schizophrenic.

and lastly i think it was pretty rude of you to blast soem woman that was asking for your help, because god forbid she interrupted oyu listening to your music which will still be there, at exactly the same spot 10 seconds after you've finished being courteous to another human being.

[Maddy McCall]

303. I think it's just basic rudeness to talk on the cell while conducting....

business or while you're in a position to be responsive to others.

When you are on the cell phone, you are distracted. You can say that you aren't, but you are.

Every single time I've been in line behind someone chatting on a cell phone, that person delays the transaction by switching ears while trying to dig in pockets or purse, all the while talking so loudly that everyone becomes a participant in the should-be-private conversation.

Some things take two hands. Two hands can't be available for the transaction when one is occupied with the phone.

Even hands-free sets bother me. It's a form of arrogance and rudeness, and it shows a basic lack of manners.

I think it's rude to talk on the cell while one-handed pushing the buggy through the aisles of the grocery store. These people cause logjams on the aisles, and act as if they are oblivious to the delays they cause.

Above all, it's rude to force your personal conversations on strangers.

[HuskerDU]

309. I work as a cashier part time and I would give you the same

reaction. Phones used to come in booths, so there was privacy for you and respect for me.

IMO, it is very rude to be out in public, but in your own world. Whenever someone bumps rudely into me at a store, it is without exception a cell phoner. How I would like to bump 'em back and smash their ipod/cell phone! But NOOOOO! I have to respect others in public- wish it would catch on with those more technologically advanced!

I cannot believe that a fellow DUer would be so rude to a random lady at a store who wanted to ask a question. Does your technology give you the right to be 'untouchable' in public? Use a phone booth (or your car or go off in a corner) and give yourself some privacy and the rest of us some respect.

[mattclearing]

310. Talking on the phone during interactions is rude. Interrupting people

with headphones on is rude too.

[Dorian Gray]

313. Is this such a problem?

Maybe she didn't see the earbuds. They're small.