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I have three questions about the chimp's inevitable memoirs:

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Lautremont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 07:34 PM
Original message
I have three questions about the chimp's inevitable memoirs:
1) Who will ghostwrite this book?

2) What will it be called?

3) Will you buy it?

bonus question:
4) Will H.A. Rey do the cover illustration?
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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 07:36 PM
Response to Original message
1. I have another question:
5) Will it come with crayons, or will I have to use my own?

Yeah, his "book contract." I can't WAIT to see how the bidding goes on THAT one.

Regnery will publish it.

Watch.

Mark my words.

Pass the Crayola.
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ClusterFreak Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 07:37 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. LOL!!
Crayons! That's rich!!!:rofl:
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rzemanfl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 07:42 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. My hope is that it will be written from prison. n/t
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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:09 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Scrawled in his own feces
on the cell walls, no doubt?

I'd pay to see that.

Of course, the words would be misspelled.................
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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:27 PM
Response to Reply #6
11. see....if you'd be more faithful to me, you'd aleady have known the
Edited on Fri Apr-21-06 08:27 PM by Gabi Hayes
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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:29 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. The floozie returns, and attempts a misguided gloat
HA!

As if.

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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:34 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. you work FAST! keep your eyes on the prize.....
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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:36 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. Guess what the fly's now avoiding ...........
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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. it went from the litter box to a much more savory feasting spot.
A cornucopia of asphyxiating succulence!
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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. See?
Nothing's ever quite as bad as it seems when compared to the alternative.

Touche, toots. You totally rule..............
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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:55 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. thanks, but it's VERY draining....
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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:57 PM
Response to Reply #20
21. You're telling me?
I'm only 27 years old, and LOOK WHAT IT'S DONE TO ME:

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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 09:08 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. I like older women, but, yeesh!
you might have to wait a year or two, til I get over this regime

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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 09:12 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. Well, ok, but ............
I'll just amuse myself with Bush's Balls (as if) while you mature.................

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm
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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 09:19 PM
Response to Reply #25
26. I actually recognize the URL....I reposted it a fews days ago. Very
satisfying, yes?

when you've finished there, try this, in which I finally, reluctantly, reveal myself

no more holding back; can't live with myself anymore

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x5061253

man! no sense of political pertinence here...already sent that one to the Lounge, where it'll disappear even faster than the rest of my oeuvre.

c'est ca!
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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 09:21 PM
Response to Reply #26
27. I give up
I've got nothing. All I can do is turn myself in as the real Duke rapist.

:::: sigh ::::
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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 09:27 PM
Response to Reply #27
28. at least you're not....
Edited on Fri Apr-21-06 09:28 PM by Gabi Hayes
a child molester....

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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 09:32 PM
Response to Reply #28
29. No, but I was a hell of a tease when Jesus showed up
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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 09:44 PM
Response to Reply #29
30. Jeezus!
Edited on Fri Apr-21-06 09:44 PM by Gabi Hayes
Please us!

two thirds of the holy trinity



the transmigration, completed

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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 09:49 PM
Response to Reply #30
31. I apologize. was that too much?
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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 09:54 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. Not at all
I only get nervous around transubstantiation.

That, by the way, was the author photo on my first published novel. HarperCollins really did go along with it.

It was also the last picture of me as a virgin.

:::: sigh ::::

"HOUSE" is on!
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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 10:01 PM
Response to Reply #32
33. here's mine.....just a few months ago
Edited on Fri Apr-21-06 10:03 PM by Gabi Hayes
http://image.net/xads/thumbnail/82338891,36C7BF6B2FA11F94424

the eager countenance is in anticipation of the publishing of MY own first novel, a slightly more detailed version of In a Budding Grove, but with less laughs

no time for petty distractions when the muse chooses her vessel; still waiting for mine
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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 10:07 PM
Response to Reply #33
34. As I said,
floozie.

Sleep tight, champ ..............
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Nickster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 07:39 PM
Response to Original message
3. Well.....
1)Ben Domenech....oh wait...
2)Don't Misunderestimate Me
3)Not a chance in hell
4)Of course. LoL...
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Bush_MUST_Go Donating Member (378 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 07:46 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. "Bush's Guide to Eating Pretzels, Clearing Brush & Destroying America"
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:09 PM
Response to Original message
7. 1) Karl, obviously 2) "My Struggle" 3)Every copy, to burn. NT
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Lautremont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:15 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Good call on the title. (nt)
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JerseygirlCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:16 PM
Response to Original message
9. I only know it will be written in red crayon... nt
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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:29 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. how'd you know? see post number eleven
Edited on Fri Apr-21-06 08:29 PM by Gabi Hayes
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JerseygirlCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-22-06 07:30 AM
Response to Reply #12
35. Ha! That's funny! Just what I was picturing in my mind. nt
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Kiouni Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:22 PM
Response to Original message
10. It would go
1) Laura

2) God Helped Me God help You

3) If i'm low on toilet paper

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porphyrian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:43 PM
Response to Original message
16. Lots of books are written in prison.
1) His cellmate

2) How To Fuck Up Every Job You Ever Hold

3) Not a chance

4) No, Richard Scary will
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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:48 PM
Response to Original message
19. 'Being President for Dummies' n/t
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UTUSN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 08:58 PM
Response to Original message
22. The idiot is going to have memoirs? n/t
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guinivere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-21-06 09:02 PM
Response to Original message
23. Karl Rove will write it
The title will have some reference to God in it.

I'll buy it if it's 5 bucks.
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