Getting nervous about surgery

[Tab]

I've tried to approach my condition (colorectal cancer) with as much equanimity as I can muster, but I have to admit that whereas I did the chemo and radiation (typical pre-surgery treatment for this particular condition), the surgery is making me unexpectly anxious. I've never had anything but the most minor of surgery (installing the chemo vascular port), and for some weird reason I'm worried. My mother is semi-retired from the medical field, I was originally pre-med before I figured I wasn't disciplined enough to get through med school, my wife is in the nursing field, as are probably a dozen relatives. I'm probably as medically astute as you can get without formal training, and I'm going to a world-class hospital, and yet I find myself increasing anxious. The surgery isn't the most dangerous (like, say, neurosurgery, or heart surgery) but it's not minor by any stretch of the imagination either. Anyone else go through this? At this rate I'll be out of Ativan by the time the surgery hits.

[Longhorn]

1. I wish I could offer advice from experience, Tab.

But my cancer was inoperable. If I can get it out of my lungs, there could be surgery in my future. The only other surgeries I've ever had were a tubal ligation and lap-band surgery, both of which were done in a couple of hours as an in-patient.

Most surgeries are successful so you do have statistics on your side. Remember as they put you under that you have lots of people who care about you who are virtually holding your hand and wishing you the best! :grouphug:

When is the surgery? I'd like to send some positive vibes at the right time! And we'll look forward to hearing from you again when you've recuperated enough to post! :loveya:

[Longhorn]

3. Oops. Those were out-patient surgeries.

I was home in just a few hours. Sorry for the boo-boo.

[Tracer]

2. I've had two surgeries for cancer.

One, I didn't even know about until I woke up! (Was supposed to be a laparascopic "look-see", but turned into a hysterectomy). I recovered quickly.

Second one, I was prepared for and was not anxious. I knew my surgeon and he is listed as "Best of Boston". There were 6 (count 'em) doctors in the operating room. (It must have been an interesting surgery for them!) I also recovered quickly from this one too.

Please don't stress. You will feel much better when you know they have taken out the cancer.


-----

And, Longhorn --- I wish you the best of luck at Cancer Centers.

[Longhorn]

4. Thanks, Tracer!

They'll either validate the treatment I'm already getting or offer me something better. Either way, it's a win-win situation. :hi:

[JohnnyLib2]

5. Saw your reply to Longhorn today.

When is the surgery? Hope you have been able to channel part of the anxiety somewhow. Every best wish to you and your family.

[auntAgonist]

6. Best wishes Tab. I think being nervous is natural. I hope

you can overcome the anxiety as your surgery date nears. You hang in there. I expect to be reading lots of posts from you!!

:hug:

be well Tab.

kesha.

[seemunkee]

7. I think its pretty normal

You're facing something unknown. You know what you want the outcome to be but you can't do anything to change it. It's natural to have some anxiety.
Just remember this to help you, concentrate on how it will make you healthier.

[noiretextatique]

8. I was more terrified about the anesthesia

than anything else...probably because i am a control freal :7. i don't know what you have to do for pre-op, but i was so exhausted after my pre-op, i was ready to get some sleep. (i will spare you the gory details of my pre-op experience)
you will get through the surgery just like you got through the chemo and radiation :thumbsup:

[Tab]

9. I know some people have to deal with that issue

the loss of control is frightening.

Personally, give me some good drugs, knock me out, and I don't give a damn what they do.

What would terrify me is brain surgery where you have to be awake. There are no nerves, so it's not supposed to hurt, but laying there and hearing the drill... > shivers <

But a valium drip or something like that, I don't care.

Not sure where the anxiety comes from - maybe from potential of a complication? Also I've simply never had somewhat major surgery before anyway, so it's just unknown.

Thanks

- t

[auntAgonist]

10. Tab, when is your surgery scheduled for?

I would keep you in my thoughts and prayers for a excellent outcome and an uneventful procedure.

:hug:

thinking of you.
aA
kesha

[Tab]

11. A couple of weeks

Feb 9th, to be specific.

I'm in an excellent hospital, very top-notch, so I would like to think there's nothing to worry about. And yet, I haven't done this before.

Well, it's probably no more dangerous than going downtown and driving through the rotary (now THERE'S a death trap). If I can survive the rotary then I should be able to survive the surgery. Maybe I should look at it like that.

I also have no idea how long I'll be laid up after. I've heard everything from 1 week to 2 months, so who the hell knows.

Thanks, appreciate the thoughts.

[noiretextatique]

12. i'll be thinking about you too, Tab

it's perfectly normal that you are anxious about surgery, especially since you haven't had surgery before. you will get through it just fine. :hug:

[Tracer]

13. I'm sending good thoughts your way.

For your Monday surgery.

Try to relax, trust your doctors, and it will be over before you know it.

[Tab]

14. Delayed a few weeks

Unfortunately I ran out of my BP meds yesterday, so for the pre-exam today it was skyhigh, and they weren't comfortable with it and have pushed it out 20 days from today. With my BP meds back there shouldn't be any more delays, but we spent so much time coordinating this week to come (logistically and all), so it's frustrating, but, there's nothing I can do.

I was said to hear about Longhorn. I called her daughter, we talked for a while. Apparently she (Longhorn) was the kind of person who would support everyone else but not even leave a clue as to her condition. Since she passed in a hospice, I can presume both she and her family knew it was close but never let on. She was 63, btw.

More than anything else, I've found the cancer community to be very supportive, even for people they don't know. I'm guessing most everyone here has noticed this to one degree or another.

You can't do much about a plane crash or car crash, but there can be a lot of support about a cancer diagnosis, particularly if it was received late in the game, as hers apparently was.

[auntAgonist]

15. Tab I'm sorry they delayed your surgery

better safe than sorry I guess?

It was so kind of you to call Kendra's daughter. I wouldn't have known what to say except that I really had come to know and love her compassionate ways.

I will keep YOU in my thoughts as always .. hang in there.

kesha
:hug:

[Tab]

16. This is getting ridiculous

Okay, I said my surgery, scheduled for the 9th, was delayed due to my high blood pressure. Fair enough.

I called the hospital to make some pre-arrangements (like make sure insurance was in place and just administrative things like that) and they told me it was on the 25th (a Wednesday). Fair enough, too, and I had an appointment with the same doctor for a few previous to make sure my B/P was in better shape, and it was. Not totally ideal, but workable, and not sky-high like it was when I had run out of the meds.

The surgeon was worried about my leg pain (which actually started this whole "investigation" that led to the diagnosis), worrying about a spinal cord problem. The doctor (I was told he was to be a neurologist, but wasn't), evaluated me for it, decided it wasn't a problem, but as I said put things on hold because of the B/P.

SO, ANYWAY, the 25th rolls around (last Wednesday), or actually the 24th (Tuesday) and the hospital won't tell you anything about your schedule time because they don't finalize it until the afternoon before, and then they call around between 3 and 6 in the evening. That's okay, except I live a good 90 minutes away, and if it was going to be bright and early, as surgeons seem to like, I'd probably want to drive up the night before, and I'd like more advance notice than just an hour or so. But, no, I had to wait until 3. As it turns out, we went out for the afternoon, so it was 4:30 when I finally called them.

Guess what? I'm NOT on the frickin' schedule! They cancelled the original surgery, and the nurse mis-read my original surgical follow-up date as the new actual surgery date. So, they had never scheduled me.

Not amused, since a variety of people here are coordinating their work schedules and what not to support my going there, providing child care, and everything, and we find out the night before we not even on the schedule? So we call the surgeon, who calls back (my wife spoke to him, I had run out for a quick errand) and he said he wasn't worried about the blood pressure, but he was worried about the leg pain (which I thought we had settled, and since this is what frickin' started it all, he should have known).

Now I'm sure he's a good surgeon (I'm told he's excellent) but from the administrative side, something's fallen through the cracks. What is going on is that no one is taking ownership of this case. I've had some people suggest the surgeon should be taking ownership, others suggest the medical oncologist should, and I've been told to just "sit back and everything will fall into place and they'll all coordinate" but I know from business that if no one has actual ownership, you're lucky if anything gets coordinated.

It's appearing that I have to be my own advocate, and I. Shouldn't. Have. To.

I have a pre-med background before I changed careers, but even I don't really know how things are supposed to flow here, and the average bear with no background certainly wouldn't, and I don't think it's my place to have to coordinate this crap. There should be a care coordinator at some level that puts the pieces together.

So, anyway, new date is now MARCH 19. It's not really worth it to switch hospitals, but we have talked to them, but they will want their own set of records, want to do their own exams, and if, perchance, I got in earlier, it won't be radically earlier. It's going to be a couple of weeks, no matter what.

I am not amused, but as I talk to others, I find this is more common that I'd like to think, which I find scary. And this is a top-end hospital, internationally known, not some dinky little place no one has heard of. There's really no excuse for this.

So once again, we're all re-jiggering our schedules, but this one is not a health-related problem, this is simply a "no one's paying attention" problem, but it's been over two months since chemo ended, and it was stage III, and at some point this thing's going to reactivate and start spreading. And I swear, if it metastasizes, and I die from it, I want my family to sue there ass. Some one is dropping the ball big time, but it's not like I have a frickin' cavity or something - the clock is ticking - we have some wiggle room, but it's not forever.

Sorry, I'm just incredibly frustrated by this whole process.

- Tab

[Tracer]

17. I don't blame you.

I used to think that hospitals and doctors were on the ball. That was before I had many dealings with them.

- They scheduled a biopsy PRIOR to a PET scan - which would have ruined the scan. This was only caught by me,/i] at the very last second.

- I went for a pre-op exam by a surgeon -- who wondered why I was there. I had to explain to him that he was supposed to be operating on me the following week. He had no clue, since the other surgeon hadn't discussed it with him. Obviously, the surgery was postponed.

- A scheduler called me up, berating me for missing an appointment, and practically accused me of lying when I told her that I had watched another scheduler change the appointment on the computer.

There's more --- but you don't want to hear it --- having your own troubles.



Edited because I have no clue about HTML.