The complete Don Davis lyrics here:
Introduction
There are a lot of songs about religious holidays out there,
But not a single one about Atheism!
So I wrote a song for all those nice little atheist Kids, who don’t get to hear any atheist songs
God help us, here we go:
Put away your faitheism, here comes atheism
Just because you’re secular, you shouldn’t have to risk your neckula
Atheism is, the festival of Enlightenment,
Unlike many religions, it doesn’t depend on crazy enfrightenment
So when you feel like the only kid in town, without a God-like idol,
Here’s a list of famous atheists, so you don’t feel sui-cidal:
Ben Franklin and Thomas Edison, the Fathers of Invention,
Also Sigmund Freud, who discovered anal retention
The Piano Man, Billy Joel, refused to join a sect
Now we know why Rodney Dangerfield, never got any respect
Angelina Jolie, astronomer Carl Sagan
Put them together– not a bad-looking pagan
You don’t need a bar- mitzvah, or even baptizm
Cause you can get blessed — by Richard Dawkins or Christopher Hitchens
Put away your faitheism, here comes atheism
Tell your friends the atheists, come out of the closet like the gaytheists
Many people think, that Atheists are wusses,
Just tell it to Bruce Lee, though dead, he’ll still kick you in your pusses
OJ Simpson, not an atheist, not that we can tell
But even atheists pray, that Juice is goin’ straight to hell!
Some folks also claim that atheism’s looney
They point to all the heathens, arranged on the desk of Andy Rooney
So many Atheists, are in show biz or the arts
They simply don’t believe, that thunder represents God’s farts
Tell your friend Huckabee, don’t be a shmuckabee
I hope you don’t get pissed, cause I’m a secular humanist
So eat your Jesus-shaped toast
And worship your plastic Buddha
I’ll just pray to Bill Maher
Who I’ve carved out of Gouda
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, ATHEISM!
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