http://lnmc.crooksandliars.com/maxmarginal/late-nite-music-club-welcomes-ben-foldBitch Went Nutz by Ben Fold
I took her with me to the Christmas office party; mistake.
She did a line and started spouting all her liberal garbage; Bro, I'm so ashamed.
I never heard such shit in all my life.
I hoped one day to mold you into the perfect wife.
But you blew my hopes sky high.
The bitch went nutz.
Started talking about politics.
In front of all my bosses; bullshit from the internet.
The bitch went nutz.
I'll never be a partner at this rate.
Not with Jane f*cking Fonda Jr. as my date.
Oh no! Oh no, no! Oh!
It took me and a couple of men to restrain her; you should've seen her.
When she freaked out and keyed John Franklin Jr.'s brand new...Beamer.
She called us biggets with her fist in the air.
And as she did they all could see all her armpit hair.
Now they think that I'm a f*cking assh*le.
The bitch went nutz.
Started talking about vegetables to teh wives of all my coworkers.
Yeah, cruelty to animals.
She thinks because she reads books she must be smarter.
But now when I clsoe my eyes, I'll be f*cking Jimmy Carter.
Oh no! Oh no, no! Oh no, no!
Couldn't you have just nodded and smiled
From nine to twelve pm
Instead of telling your conspiracy theories
To all my bosses
And all my friends?
The bitch went nutz. (Nutz!)
Started putting down the Christians.
And all about what the white man did to the indians.
How could I know that she never done blow before?
She shouted "f*ck Dick Cheney!" and then she puked on the Franklin's floor.
Oh no! Oh no! Oh no, no! Oh no, no! Oh no! Oh right.
LNMC is honored to welcome guest-poster Ben Folds, who has given us a blog about this here song, "Bitch Went Nutz".
Bitch Went Nutz
by Ben Folds
This is a sad story of a young Republican lawyer who's aspiring to become a partner at the firm. He has invited an attractive young lady he met briefly at Starbucks to the Christmas office party. Things do not go well when his colleagues, upstanding members of the community, country club and church introduce his date to cocaine. She soon expresses her personal political views which are not held by others attending. She is encircled by angry middle-aged white men and their wives whose disapproval is evident even through the Botox (ask for it by name).
Horrified, the young republican and his buddies try to silence his date but its too late once she's made clear her Communist views, thrown up on an expensive Persian rug and run a key down the length of a new BMW in the driveway.
A cable news channel executive is in attendance and hires them all on as talking heads on his Sunday morning show.
This may be listened to wearing a backwards red baseball cap and a button down pin stripe shirt (tucked in) or even a t-shirt with a tuxedo pattern. Keg stand optional.
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