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Edited on Fri Mar-12-10 07:02 AM by tango-tee
DH and I live in Germany in a fairly large town with many, many Muslim immigrants.
I can only speak of experiences in our own little world, encompassing DH and myself, plus immediate family and dear neighbors.
Our friends next door consisted originally of a Muslim man from Bangladesh, Salim, and his wife, Suley, who was of Turkish ancestry (and Muslim as well). Two teenage daughters, Dilshad and Duygo. A couple of years ago, Suley became very ill, and her health kept deteriorating, improving, and deteriorating once again for months and months, throughout surgeries and various treatments. Suley died of ovarian cancer at age 37.
How do Northern Europeans deal with this? They hunker down. They become stoic. They retreat and shut the door.
And then there was an eye-opener for us: We saw a completely different way of approaching death. Not only the immediate family, but the entire Muslim community gathered around the bereaved to provide solace and comfort in every way imaginable.
After Suley's death, our families have become even closer, with several visits and calls each week, sharing news about the girls' good report cards at school, to the clunker of a car which has finally given out. It has been a wonderful gift - being able to partake in another culture's way of dealing with catastrophes and illnesses, joys and celebrations, a particular way of communicating and sharing good and bad with family members. This friendship has added a completely new angle of looking at the world for my husband and myself.
Learning to understand each other is key. It's not necessarily easy. It's a process, and all concerned need to be willing to do so. But the rewards are great. Guess what - a young Muslim girl, my baby Dilshad, is going to become an auto mechanic!
Don't be afraid.
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