Daddy, I Do - documentary on the personal and social implications of the growing Abstinence Movement

[Shallah Kali]

Run time: 03:43 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXVPjg7gNBw   Posted on YouTube: November 08, 2009 By YouTube Member: Cassiejaye Views on YouTube: 6752   Posted on DU: November 15, 2010 By DU Member: Shallah Kali Views on DU: 808

 

The politically conservative Evangelical community believes sex is meant to take place only within the context of marriage, and favors Abstinence-Only curriculum in the American educational system. Powerful Christian organizations along with $1.3 billion in federal funding have created Purity Balls, high-tech road shows and faith-based education curricula disputing safe sex practices. Daddy I Do sheds light on the personal and social implications of the growing Abstinence Movement by examining key abstinence programs from the perspective of promoters and participants. This documentary includes vigorous discussion between both sides of the debate, punctuated by personal stories, creating a controversial dynamic.
For more information about "Daddy I Do", visit: www.JayeBirdProductions.com

Daddy I Do: "Purity" World is Tough for Women
http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/node/14778

Daddy, I Do is an independent documentary from debut filmmaker 23-year-old Cassie Jaye. As its provocative title suggests, it explores the “purity” movement and the consequences of abstinence-only policies in America. Jaye speaks with abstinence advocates and scientists who support comprehensive sex education, and without much editorializing offers us all the available statistics about the effectiveness of one versus the other. Jaye particularly seems to relish hanging out with the “purity ball” and “purity ring” set, exposing us to a culture in which girls pledge their virginity to their fathers and the word “gift” is used over and over again to refer to virginity.

snip

In one of the film's most striking scenes, the mother of abstinence advocate Amy Catherine Flynn--who has brought her daughter up to believe in saving herself for marriage--expresses her own doubt in the Cinderella myth that girls are sold and that abstinent women often believe in. It’s the idea that once marriage occurs, the woman will be with her Prince Charming and they will live happily ever after--and have a great time in the sack to boot.

“These special men that women set themselves up for, are setting us up for emotional crashes,” the mother, who spoke from offscreen, told Jaye. She herself was a veteran of two marriages that went south. “When she wakes up one day and he’s not special...what happens to those women? She says, okay, I did all that for what? There’s still spousal abuse and child abuse and drug-abuse going on in these abstinent, save-yourself marriages,” she added.

This sobering moment of spontaneity was compounded by another interview with Matthew Paul Turner, a Christian sex educator, who said he worried that when people who were obsessed with the abstinence ideal actually did get married, they’d still feel guilty and repressed about their sex lives which obviously would present a barrier to intimacy and satisfaction within the relationship.

Daddy I Do - Cassie Jaye's Dynamic Film About Sexual Attitudes

http://www.suite101.com/content/daddy-i-do---cassie-jayes-dynamic-film-about-sexual-attitudes-a234929


Haye talks to unwed mothers, a woman who experienced an abortion, the man who started The Silver Ring Thing (faith-based abstinence), the Purity Ball (abstinence) phenomenon, a faith-based pregnancy counselor, a feminist, a pediatric specialist, a sex education expert, an author of a book on sexuality, and parents of young girls. There is even an American Idol contestant singing a song about her purity, as well as a discussion about sexuality with a group of college fraternity brothers. Cartoon images romanticizing relationships are artfully presented following one woman's tale of waiting for her prince. Throughout the film, Jaye keeps a steady hand and manages to gather and share information without judging nor proselytizing.

Daddy I Do Presents Some Disturbing Images and Statistics

There are some disturbing images in Jaye's film: a father giving a rose to his very young daughter (10 or 11?) who is teetering precariously on a pair of heels, long hair in flowing curls in a backless laced gown as she makes her way to her father, who is preparing to take her to the Purity Ball. The idea of the ball is for young girls to pledge themselves to their fathers and their purity until marriage, yet they seem to increase the emphasis on the girl's appearance and her sexuality as being central to her worth. Receiving over $1.3 billion in federal funds between 1982 and 2008, this program has had over a 90% failure rate, yet one in six girls in 48 states and in 17 countries attend these balls.


There is the founder of the Silver Ring Thing stating that without the Bible it would be okay to have sex with one's daughter (a taboo that is almost universal in all cultures), yet there is no doubt about this man's apparent faith. The sincerity of those promoting such programs, including the Silver Ring Thing, seems fairly presented in the film, yet one could not help noticing the sales being rung up for Silver Ring Thing products, too. This program received $1.1 million in federal funds until the ACLU sued them for promoting Christianity; they no longer receive such funds.
Cassie Jaye's Film Asks Us to Consider How Best to Help Young People Forge Healthy Sexuality

One of the questions which arises from watching this film is this: with statistics overwhelmingly showing that comprehensive sex education works, why has so much funding been going to Abstinence Only programs? Listening to a single unwed mother of five and another unwed mother of two discuss their lives, it is also apparent that these young women had little chance to avoid their fate based on their lack of information, lack of supervision and lack of counseling or parenting. Dr. Claire Bundis, a UCSF Pediatric Specialist, lamented that those who are Pro-Life seem to disappear once the children of the unwed are born, leaving them to struggle without support in finding housing, employment, or child care.

[MineralMan]

1. That whole Purity Ball thing and promising Daddy not to

be a sexual being always seemed a little twisted to me. Maybe it's just me, but...ewww!

[bluestateguy]

2. I was unaware that the abstinence movement was growing

They said the same thing when I was growing up c. 20 years ago.

The movement may be growing but their results are largely a failure, as there is no evidence to suggest that young people are waiting until marriage to have sex. At most, they may be delaying it a few years until college.

[Poll_Blind]

3. That not only looked fascinating but it seems to cover a lot more of the unrealistic aspects of...

...the entire abstinence movement. Looking forward to catching this.

PB

[asdjrocky]

4. This is some really sick shit in so many ways.

Just looking at this kind of stuff makes me feel yucky. It's a fathers job to be a good guy and be an example of honest, decent treatment to the opposite sex, this is just sick.

[Shallah Kali]

11. esp. when the Silver Ring Thing founder says w/out bible men could have sex with daughters

according to the suite101 review I quoted above:

Daddy I Do - Cassie Jaye's Dynamic Film About Sexual Attitudes
http://www.suite101.com/content/daddy-i-do---cassie-jayes-dynamic-film-about-sexual-attitudes-a234929

:puke::puke:
:puke::puke:
:puke::puke:
:puke::puke:
:puke::puke:

wtf is going though that man's head that he would say that?!?!?!

:puke::puke:

it is horrible how they fetishize (sp?) a tiny bit of anatomy that even when saved and only shared according to their rules it is still in the end gone. how can females raised in this belief system feel otherwise than lessened once they are no longer 'Pure' once it is gone?

OH and it never really belonged to them, Daddy was the keeper of it until he gives it to the future husband. The female is just the carrier of the bit of anatomy, she doesn't own her own body.

[TlalocW]

5. Holy crap! I knew the rates were bad

But 90% failure rate? Either the people in charge of the program are so self-deluded (most likely in a religious, God is on my side way), or they realize what a good gravy train they've got going on that they ignore the failure rate.

TlalocW

[Dont_Bogart_the_Pretzel]

6. What get me is the $1.3 billion in federal funding! ?&!!

Why are our taxes funding these fundies?

[texastoast]

7. Abstinence sets up a lot of couples for heartbreak--lots of times after the children arrive

While no long-term relationship should be built on how good the sex is, if the sex isn't good in the child-bearing years of a relationship, a good long-term relationship can go bad.

Trust, like values, goals--all are the building blocks of a good relationship, but good sex is the mortar that holds them together. I've seen many relationships fail because the sexual dynamic didn't last long enough to get the kids raised.

Sex shouldn't be a "duty."

And for Pete's sake, who would buy a car without a test drive?

And this Daddy I Do thing is just creepy.

[tularetom]

8. As a father of a daughter who apparently didn't buy into that

I find it more than a little creepy.

We talked to our daughter until we were blue in the face about the dangers of an unwanted pregnancy but we weren't naive enough to believe she was going to wait until she got married to have sex. And guess what? She didn't, she got pregnant her first year in college and dropped out to get married. That was in 1981 and she's now a grandmother and still married to the same guy. I think she could have done better, but that's how things turn out.

I wouldn't have insulted my daughters intelligence by making her sign a "pledge" like that. Besides there's something vaguely oedipal about the whole idea like the guy she finally marries is a daddy surrogate.

[whathehell]

9. I picked up on that "vaguely oedipal" thing...Very creepy. Ewww. nt/

[burnsei sensei]

10. If I hear an assertion that the abstinence movement

is growing, I am always skeptical.