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Edited on Tue May-03-11 10:11 AM by Moostache
That was an amazingly eloquent summation of the entire issue.
I've come a long way on my own personal journey regarding gay rights and especially gay marriage.
A long time past I was victim not to religious belief but to fearful dogma and ideology that said "gays are less than".
They were less than normal.
They were less than acceptable.
They were less than equal.
And, yes, because of stereotyping and machismo driven foolishness, they were less than human.
I was a victim of being fearful of the unknown, of accepting the idiotic assertions that gay men were all predators and pedophiles.
I was a victim of not thinking for myself and just accepting the idea that there was "a gay agenda". I let the attitudes and thoughts of others color my own views to far too great a degree and it took a considerable amount of time to get all the way over it,
My life and my ideology have evolved over the years and while I once would have considered myself a conservative (mainly in terms of fiscal issues, but without consideration of social issues where I was probably more libertarian for a time), I no longer ascribe to ANY conservative ideology and in fact find it nearly 100% morally bankrupt and repugnant.
Sad to say, and even sadder to remember, but it was the Matthew Sheppard case that finally ended my own journey of self-reflection and turning away from my own past attitudes and towards a broader understanding and acceptance of gays. I had unknowingly lived with a pair of roommates in college that were closeted gay men. They came out after school and initially I had to reflect on my attitudes and beliefs but found that this was the key to understanding the whole "issue".
These were two men whom I had 100% normal, non-sexual, non-morally corrupting relationships with for years. They were friends that I shared meals with, shared laughs with, watched the country pulled into war with (Kuwait - 1991) and went from boys of 1989 to young men of 1993 with as well. The fact that they were of a different sexual orientation gave truth to the lie that there was a subversive "gay agenda" behind them - although it certainly took some of the steam out of my adolescent fantasies of why I was always the one to get the girl at our college parties...lol...not quite the lady killer I imagined after all, more like the last option!
But even after they came out and I came to an acceptance and understanding (NOT of their lives and their orientation but of MY prejudices and ignorance and shameful disregard for a lot of things) of it, I still harbored beliefs that it was better to accept "domestic partnerships" and partial equal rights than to rock the boat and demand full equality. Over time and distance and family life and changes, I've lost touch with them through the years, though when chance and circumstance come around there is no hostility or strangeness to being around them, only reminiscences of the good times and laughs and nothing else is said. The only emotion that their story stirs in me is sadness that I was not a more self-aware and understanding person back then, when they led lives that did not allow them to be 100% open about themselves and the fact that in any small way I was a part of the reason why - not through open hostility or homophobia but through casual jokes and acceptance of such things without vocal condemnation.
But it was the horror of what happened to Matthew Sheppard that really drove the point home for me. Gay people are not subhumans or moral subversives to be marginalized or worse. They are first and foremost human beings and as such they are entitled to every single human right the same as anyone else. To say otherwise is to deny our own humanity and to stunt our own growth and possibilities.
Its not about sex or sex acts or anything else so banal and tangential to the discussion (though for 90+% of homophobic people I have encountered that is about the ONLY thing they can consider - for no more clear examples of this, just Google search the "kill the gays bill Uganda"). The fundamental issue is not about "god" or spirituality or anything else along those lines. Gay men and women are simply put human. And whatever rights or privileges that entails for "straight" people or heterosexual people (or whatever other meaningless label is used) apply equally to all or are cheapened for all.
I am not proud of having been part of the problem in the past, but I am hopeful that I will live long enough to see the solution (EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL) become reality...and absent that, that my own children will definitely grow up in a world fundamentally different than my own with regards to just what "differences" matter amongst us.
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