Need help with some advice on an IEP for my son

[bleedingheart]

my son is just so out of his element with intermediate school.

He is totally the absent minded professor type. However in school, they are trying to force kids to be responsible for themselves by having them keep binders and day planner, etc.

The problem is, my son doesn't understand why and doesn't really know that it is supposed to be there to help him.

He is so lost it isn't funny.

I want to do the following:

1. keep a set of books at home so we can help him stay afloat
2. somehow figure out a way to help him adapt to the idea of using that day planner the school gave him.

Any advice???

Basically when he leaves school, he forgets or never realizes what he needs to do for the next day unless we bug the hell out of him.
Now I don't mind bugging him, that is my job, but I am trying to figure out what I can do to help him to help himself.

[goddess40]

1. Does the school have a homework hot line?

Ours does and occasionally it's even up to date.

I e-mail the teachers

It might have to be that the teachers write in his book. They should also adapt what homework your son does. These kids don't need to do busy work, they only need to do work until they understand.

http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/teachers_guide.html

Hello, we are 's parents. Our child has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, which is a neurobiological disorder on the autistic spectrum. Children with AS may have difficulty using and understanding nonverbal behaviors and developing appropriate peer relationships ,in part, because their interactions often lack spontaneous exchange. While they often have keen interests and skills in certain subjects, they also may have a great deal of difficulty with organization. AS children may appear to lack in empathy, have difficulty with sensory issues and very often strongly rely on routine.

You will learn that our child has many strengths. However, listed below are some issues that may become apparent to you as you work with . Many of the behaviors you will see are NOT under his or her control and they are not a result of malice or willfull misbehavior. At times our child simply does not innately know how to appropriately respond. No doubt, you will learn other strategies which will be helpful and we would appreciate your sharing with us. Please call us at any time if you have questions about our child or Asperger Syndrome. We can be reached at:

http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/

Should children with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder be exempted from doing homework?

A major cause of anguish for children with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, their families and teachers is the satisfactory completion of homework. Why should this group of children have such an emotional reaction to the mere thought of having to start their homework and such difficulty completing assigned tasks? There may be two explanations. The first is based on their degree of stress and mental exhaustion during their day at school and the second is due to their profile of cognitive skills.

[Tikki]

2. My oldest....

age 30.
When he was in elementary school he would do his homework and then just not turn it in at the beginning of class.
I thought he had fears of not completing the assignments correctly and feared a bad grade
....but you know that wasn't it at all. He had trouble understanding why his 'just doing the
assignment' wasn't enough.

Dad and I finally got through to him by building up the analogy of working 'a days work' and getting paid for it.
You wouldn't work all day, all week and then not turn in you time card. You go to work..
you should get paid.

When our son did school work, chores and activities we had him keep track of this on a planning calendar. Sometimes he would bring up
all the school work and chores he had done when bargaining for a trip to the movies or an amusement park.


Good luck...

Tikki

[Kajsa]

3. I think a set of books at home

is a great idea. You may encounter resistance from the school
( budget concerns) but persevere and see that he gets them.

Once he gets use to a Day Planner, you'll find it's a valuable
tool in helping him stay organized.

My son relies on his to keep track of everything he needs to take care of.
And YES!- have the teachers write the assignments in the Planner, themselves.

Good luck!

I hope this is of some help.

:hi:

[SheilaT]

4. My oldest son

now 24, has Asperger's and his school required keeping a binder in 7th and 8th grades. They were fairly rigid about it, too. One binder to contain everything for all subjects. Unfortunately, we did not at that time have a diagnosis of Asperger's for him, and so keeping track of his stuff was truly a nightmare, especially as we simply thought he was careless, absent-minded, etc., rather than understanding that he had a particular set of deficits.

Anyway, insist on being able to modify the requirements to suit your son. On our case, I should have absolutely insisted he have separate folders for each class. I also didn't realize that I should have been taking a more active role in helping him be organized.

Now that he has basically flunked out of two colleges, despite being genuinely brilliant at science, we're being very hands-on with him at this point. We've told him to think of us (his father and me) as his executive assistants, and we will assist him in getting things done, as an executive assistant should.

Try not to "bug" him about what he needs, but set it up so that you will always know what he needs. If necessary, email teachers directly. Be absolutely on top of things, totally and completely. Don't just do everything for him in terms of keeping track of assignments, but involve him in it. Perhaps completed assignments should go into a labeled folder that the teacher will know to ask for or to look in. Eventually, he may be able to do a lot of this himself.

It has been a very long, hard, and painful road with our son. Not learning about Asperger's until he was half way through his senior year of high school didn't help. And it's taken us until his most recent failure (last semester was an academic train wreck) to realize that we can't just give him instructions and send him off. We have to be with him almost every step of the way. And, amazingly enough, he's suddenly become much more capable and has been accomplishing rather ordinary tasks -- like getting the textbook purchased for the one course he's taking at the nearby junior college purchased without a reminder.

I think the essential thing is to insist that rules be bent appropriately for your son. DO NOT let them bully you into thinking he has to be able to do all this stuff himself because that's what he should be doing at this age. He's not a "normal" kid. He does have special needs, and you need to make sure they are met.

[Kajsa]

6. I am going through something very similar.

will get the links.

I;ll be back.

[LWolf]

5. On his IEP:

A set of books at home is fine. Does he have to manage a locker, and is that difficult for him? If so, it might be possible to require that a book be available in his class that he doesn't have to move back and forth from the locker. That would leave him with the binder and planner. Is the planner on rings in the binder so that it's always right where he needs it?

The IEP could include a daily meeting with an adult first thing in the morning and at the end of the day to help him make sure his binder and planner are in order. It can also include something that requires each classroom teacher to check his planner before he leaves that period.

Then, when he gets home, his first responsibility needs to be to show the planner to a parent and talk about (and do)what is on it.

(Does the planner list homework? What?)

Parent needs to make sure the binder and planner are ready to go when he leaves for school.

[MichiganVote]

7. A couple of things come to mind

Your son needs a daily schedule, usually it needs to be visual with either icons or written words. It needs to be where he can refer to it all day, meaning, not stuffed in the back of a planner. He also needs a plan to become more independent with his planner etc. In the best case scenario he would have a group of older peers who could act as his scouts for what he needs on a given day. If he can manage his materials and so on without a locker, that's fine. Plenty of kids don't bother with lockers. He may fine the whole locker thing between classes too much socialization. The books at home are ok, usually people just need to pay a deposit. But realize that everyday school is a bruising experience and he may be tired when he returns home.

Suggest teacher/student negotiated deadlines for assignments, oral testing when possible or per teacher recommendation, and use of a scribe for lengthy assignment or notetaking.