idiosyncrasies

[BlueStorm]

Does anyone else have idiosyncrasies that may seem out of the norm for neurotypical people?

I know I do, I posted a thread in the Lounge about how my dad keeps it cold in the house and how I just usually wear shorts and a shirt. Yes it isn't sensible but then I made an explanation:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=591

I do have a tactile thing. I can't wash the dishes with the sink full of water, I can't stand the feel of the food particles floating around. It actually makes me jump out of my skin so I do the dishes individually one-by-one with soap (another thing I can't stand to feel) on the sponge.

I also have this thing with my bed sheets being perfectlly aligned on the bed as I can stand the feel of the blankets on my feet, plus I am always having to make sure that the bottom sheets are tucked under the bed.

Then there's the chapstick thing

And the staring at an object thing, such as the freckles on my arm, a plug outlet, or the pattern on my bed spread when I am "in my world" My beautiful, creative fantasy world.

I hate the word "fantasy" It makes everything sound so fluffy.

Blue

[tridim]

1. I'm not diagnosed, but I have a hunch I'm mildly affected

If I asked you to "Bite down on your shirt sleeve with your teeth and pull it out slowly" does that make your skin crawl? It does me (with any fabric btw), I've never been able to explain why, but it's been with me for as long as I can remember. I also hate cutting my toenails.

[BlueStorm]

2. There are all kinds of tactile things that I hate

Like the feeling of my mother's walls at her house. If I accidently scrape it I cringe. Then I have to torture myself and do it again. I don't know why but it's like I suddenly get obsessed with the feeling though I hate it. When I was in school and I had to write on the chalkboard I couldn't stand the feel of the chalk. Also when the chalk would sqreek on the board, that sound made me cringe.

I also hate it when people scrape their forks on their plates.

Blue

[thedeadchicken]

3. I have similar proclivities

The fabric thing is a definite yes (I also feel the same when its my fingernails too). I can't stomach raw, water-laden vegetables (celery, carrots, lettuce, etc.)--the texture is alone enough to make me dry heave. Loud noises (especially people) trigger that delightful fight-or-flight response. I too generally prefer colder temperatures: I haven't actually used the heat in my apartments for the last 5 years and usually keep the windows open until its below 40.

[BlueStorm]

4. My sister likes her room cold..

Me personally, I can't stand the cold, but I can't stand high temperatures either.

With foods, I can't stand the feel of ground meats, like sausage. I'm always in anxiety that I am going to get a piece of bone or gristle which will make me gag and thus ruin my appetite.

Blue

[Aspy in Bend]

12. hmmm.. colder temperatures

There's an insight that might help me. No wonder my wife usually complains that the room is rather chilly for her taste. I can only handle the heat being turned up for so long, because then it gets too hot for my liking.

[idgiehkt]

5. thanks for this

and for all the work you've done to start this forum.

"And the staring at an object thing, such as the freckles on my arm, a plug outlet, or the pattern on my bed spread when I am "in my world" My beautiful, creative fantasy world."

This is where I spend most of my time, and I am 38 years old. I loved that line in "The Good Girl" where Jennifer Aniston says something to the effect of "I just hate the world". I know I do. This has little to do with your OP, but I hate it. It is really affecting my life, the aspie characteristics that affect me the most are those related to employment, otherwise I truly would not care about it. I am happy alone, in my own world. I have never had many friends and am happy pursuing my own interests. But I get absolutely murdered on jobs, and it has affected me financially. I have a harder time finding and keeping jobs than most people, as many aspies do. When I found out about Aspergers I had a hard time believing that there was a frequency other people were in tune with that I am not, even though I have every stinking symptom if you go down the list of the 5 or 6 identifying features, it's just a description of my personality.

I'm just free-associating. I wouldn't care about any of this one iota if it weren't for how my aspie traits affect my life financially, they ruin it. Right now I have a part-time job where I don't work with anyone; I'm working on getting certified to work from home. If I never had to deal with another co-worker again, especially females, I would be the happiest person on the planet. Okay, end of rant. Thanks again for what you have done to get this forum going.

:yourock:

[BlueStorm]

6. You're welcome, I appreciate the kudos...

I know exactly what you are going through. I am on SSI and SSDI just for those problems as well as my bi-polar disorder. I am currently working with the Michigan Rehab Center in trying to see if I can work part time to earn a little money but to tell you the truth, I am absolutely scared to death of working. Not because of the labor but having to deal with all those of people. Your co-workers, your boss, the customers, etc. It's stressful and normal people don'tunderstand it at all. They tell me to "deal with it." but how can you if you don't know how?

There are very few resources available in most local areas. The Internet is a good resource but can only take you so far. Books are a good resource as well but again it can only help you up to a point.

I know this is going to sound crazy but I have thought about contacting shows like 20/20 and Dateline to ask if they would ever do a segment on adults with Asperger's/PDD/Autistic Spectrum Disorders. I want to get my story out there and I know that DU is only one place.
I really don't know how to contact these media people though.

Blue

[thedeadchicken]

7. Good point regarding work

Employment, for me too, has always been a tricky area of life. The pattern generally went something like this for me:

-I interview, which usually goes well (my communication deficits rest mostly in the realm of spontaneous conversation, so generally I find that if I go in with a clear, defined purpose, I can function fairly well)

-Upon starting the job, though, things generally change for the worse: it usually takes me months before I can get to a point where I'm comfortable speaking to people and even then, it's usually stained because of the utilitarian view I have of communication.

-This usually, especially for the hellish couple of years I spent in retail, caused my employers to give me tasks that weren't people oriented: cleaning, bookkeeping, stocking, etc. This, itself, isn't bad, but the problem occurs when I'm kept at that position--I either get bored or I get jealous of some upward move made by an "NT" (I can't help but put that in quotes, largely because of the typical part) who was better in the social department. This also, eventually, leads to boredom, then a series of screw ups, and then I'm unceremoniously "laid off" because the employer liked me enough to feel guilty, but not enough (and rightfully so) to keep me.

But I learned over the years how to minimize those problems, partially through choosing the right job (retail was the first field to go and currently I'm a film editor, which seems to be working out rather well) and partially by finally being identified as an Aspie and coming to a fuller realization of what that entailed.

To that end, I'd like to throw a question out there: I was thinking about autism and Asperger's last night and the differences between myself and someone who isn't, and I realized something--there is, in many ways for me, at least, a very marked separation between body and mind. This isn't some transcendent, philosophical feeling, but a very basic, fundamental thing that I've felt through my entire life--that my body is almost this thing that I'm forced to live in and that it's not really mine. To that end I also look completely different when I dream, one more indication that I don't see the physical me as me. Does anyone else get this sense?

[idgiehkt]

8. wow

I've never really thought of that, it is something to ponder, about the separation from body and mind.

I know that from my own experience I never really felt like my body. I was expected to dress and act a certain way because of the way I looked on the outside and I never felt like that person...I've gotten a bit of hostility, mostly from men, because of it to. I've also gotten a fair amount of crap from other females about the way I looked, mostly when I was blonde. I've been accused of acting in a catty manner, confronted about facial expressions, etc, when actually the things I've been accused of were furthest from my mind. I might have been thinking about something like string theory and get accused of being a bitch by another woman, or a man, for not smiling and flirting with him the way he thinks I'm supposed to. The older I get the less it happens because I'm aging and look older but when I was young it was a pretty big source of pain for me because I never identified with that person on the outside. My mind was always a million miles away and I'd be accused of something by other girls that I never even cared about one iota, like being jealous of them or flirting with some stupid guy they liked. I'm even exhausted just typing this out, because I've never really expressed any of it before...it's so tiresome.

[BlueStorm]

10. Has anyone else feel like they don't belong on this planet?

I have always grown up, and even to this day I feel like I came from another planet or realm. Like I am not part of this world. I can't explain it as it is very difficult. But does anyone else feel this kind of "alienation?"


Blue

[Aspy in Bend]

11. part of the issue

Yes indeed, at times it feels like being from a different planet. Research has shown that it is not uncommon for adults with Asperger Syndrome to get into relationships with people from a different culture. That way some of their idiosyncratic behavior can be explained away as being from a different culture themselves.

I fit that profile myself. Looking back, I think it's actually funny, considering that quite a few of my friends and acquaintances who do not know that I have AS, think that all people in my country of origin must be a little weird and odd. I admit to being eccentric, but trust me, not everybody in my former country behaves as I do, after all, I left there because I didn't fit in and felt that America was the 'land of opportunity'. Boy was that a wake up call. :eyes: Let's not even go there at this moment, that's an entirely different topic.

[idgiehkt]

15. that's exactly how I describe myself

I thought my family of origin was completely weird when I was very young. I felt totally alienated from them and couldn't understand their behavior at all. I pretty much concluded they were mostly nuts. There were some abuse issues but I don't know how mucht that contributed to it and how much was just the aspie stuff. I definitely feel like I am not on my home planet. I know that sounds weird, but the frequencies are just off, in every way.

[KamaAina]

17. A very common reaction, actually

witness this autism/AS site:

http://www.wrongplanet.net

and the book by an artist with autism, Dan Asher, titled "Gastarbeiter (German for "guest worker") on the Planet".

[Aspy in Bend]

16. separation of body and mind

hmmm... I haven't heard it put that way before. I can't say that it is that way for me, but that could be because one of my special interests is the human body and how it works, hence I feel pretty well connected with my body, as I find it facinating to figure out why we do things the way we do.

[idgiehkt]

9. I think it would be great

but I don't think other people will ever understand the pain of it.

I am feeling pretty sad just thinking about it. At least I have an explanation for the way my adult life has been, but I don't think they could even portray that on tv. NT's can't understand, nor do they want to, I don't think, unless it pertains to young children.

[Aspy in Bend]

14. working with others

It took a long time for me to realize that I have problems working with others. I'm blessed to be rather 'smart' for whatever smart entails in the Neurotypical world. It took until my early 30's to realize that I have trouble around other people because I didn't know I had AS until a few years ago. The luck I usually have had in my employment had to do with being extremely efficient in figuring out how to do certain things with less money and with the least amount of labor involved. Without boring you with the details, I usually ended up being the manager, which meant I was in charge of people, which was great because I believe in treating employees equitable. Unfortunately my ideas of how to run a company didn't always square with the owners. Usually, after a big fight, we parted ways and the cycle would repeat. After my marriage came to an end, and another experience of being fired; I figured I needed to do something else. I found out that the only way to confront this issue was to be self employed.

I left the corporate world behind and started my own business. I became successful and ended up employing several associates, but now I've whittled that down again, as I do not need the anxiety of working and dealing with associates. I have come to realize that I'm happiest being my own boss, dealing with my clients one-on-one, satisfying their particular needs and getting the respect that comes with it.

Life is simpler and my family enjoys the fruits of that as well. Who needs all that anxiety in their life? Of course I'm still eccentric and a little 'weird' but at least the peole I deal with accept that aspect of me.

[Aspy in Bend]

13. T-shirts

I can't explain why, but for as long as I can remember, I can not sleep naked. I'm not talking about sexuality here. For some reason I 'have to have' my shoulders covered. It is VERY uncomfortable if my shoulders are not covered, so I have to wear at the very least a T-shirt to bed. Even, during the hot summer months, considering that I enjoy cooler temperatures, I 'have to have' at least the sheet up to my neck, along with the T-shirt covering my shoulders. I've tried falling asleep with the sheet pushed down to my belly, but invariably I have to pull it up to my shoulders, and make sure that I'm 'tucked' in.

Why? I have no clue because physiologically, or rationally, it does not make any sense.