Obama not qualified to be president because he is not fat

[SemiCharmedQuark]

Via Wonkette

Cato Institute Vice President Gene Healy writes in the Washington Examiner today that the U.S. needs a fat president. Finally someone says what we’ve all been thinking. This oil spill mess and wars on Islam could all be solved if we just had a president that didn’t mind slurping up the oil or eating the Taliban. Why is Obama refusing to be fat? He hates America, obviously.

Healy meditates on a photo of Obama and Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour on the beach. Obama looks out of place, a “beanpole president,” while Barbour looks completely natural on the beach. In times like these, an undulating paunch calms us. That fat gut looks like a leader, and we are ready to follow it. Yet Obama is stubbornly still healthy and won’t let Barbour be president.

Look, all the evidence we need is in Shakespeare:

“Yon Cassius has a lean and hungry look; he thinks too much. Such men are dangerous,” Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar comments to Marc Antony. “Let me have men about me that are fat … such as sleep o’ nights.”

Yes, let us listen to Caesar. Thin men like Obama think with their brains and have the capability to shape world events like Cassius. Fat guys are too busy stuffing their faces and sleeping to do anything that would have a major effect on history, like all true leaders. That’s what we need.

A few years back, Slate examined the relationship between flab and presidential performance. What it found suggests that if you want New Frontiers and crusades for democracy, then vote for the skinny striver. If you’d prefer someone who leaves well enough alone — who’s content to preside over peace and prosperity — pick the porker.

Why are you messing with the peace and prosperity that you inherited when you came into office, Obama? You’re NOT FAT, that’s why. Washington, Lincoln, Taft — ALL of America’s greatest presidents have been fat.

Read more at Wonkette: http://wonkette.com/416245/does-america-need-a-fat-president#more-416245#ixzz0sDCXNhAf

[Number23]

1. This is the dumbest article I've read this century

From the Washington Examiner piece:

"There's valuable insight there. Keeping fit is fine, but it's hard to trust someone who has spent decades counting carbs so he can stay light enough to leap for the brass ring."

This the dumbest isht ever. There is apparently NO measure by which people will not claim this President has failed. I can't even believe how stupid this is.

On a somewhat related note though, I do personally believe that people who don't like chocolate worship the devil. Every single person I've known that didn't like chocolate wound up being the most dishonest, unscrupulous people. Now, I'm not saying that eating chocolate makes you a better person, but it's obvious that NOT eating chocolate makes you evil.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

4. We obviously need to get Obama one of those Eddie Murphy fat suits

[azmouse]

5. I couldn't agree more

...about that whole chocolate theory. :)

oh! and it being a really dumb article. I mean, honestly... Obama's too thin? What's next? His smile is too big?

[quiet.american]

2. Hilarious. Are they trying to set up a Christie (NJ governor) 2012 run? :) nt

[Peacetrain]

3. Good gravy..

:rofl:

[Arkana]

6. This is a joke, right?