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Edited on Sun Jun-10-07 10:22 AM by Skidmore
in my dreams.
Last night I had my first dream with a politician in it and I woke up weeping.
I dreamed I was on the steps of the Capitol building and rushing down halls with a purpose. I needed to speak with someone and now. There were uniformed guards all around and I was afraid they were going to tackle me or pull their weapons to stop me. My heart was pounding, my palms were sweaty, and my mouth was dry, but I forged ahead. Corridor after corridor in a labrynth, seeming to turn back on themselves. I've never been in DC, let alone the buildings of the Capitol complex, but my feet seemed to be taking me to where I needed to go with some confidence.
Finally, a guard stepped in front of me and I explained that I needed to speak to someone with some authority and urgently. He nodded his head in the direction of an open door to a brightly lit room at the end of the short dark corridor. I looked at him hesitantly and he again nodded his permission and understanding in his eyes. He told me that I would need to hurry since the work of this session was almost done.
My feet flew down that hallway. As I approached the door, I had the surreal impression of entering the side door of a theatre while a performance was underway. Curved rows of seats with faces pointed forward to the front of the room. Backs of well coiffed heads in high backed gleaming mahogany seats.
I extended my arms to grasp the door jam one either sided and looked into the bright light of the room, and stopped to catch my breath. As my eyes adjusted to the light, faces started turning toward me with the blank gazes of people who look but do not see, who listen but do not really hear what is being said. Eyes without comprehension underscored with practiced smiles. They turned in slow motion unison to acknowledge the minor distraction of my presence.
Loretta Sanchez, Feinstein, Kennedy, Hillary, Hoyer, and several recognizable others were among those in my range of vision--faces all backlit with the glow of the chamber's light and refined as if by the soft focus of a camera lens. The last face turning toward me was that of Harry Reid. He met my gaze after a moment and asked for my name. Scalding tears streamed down my face as I began to weep.
"I'm Skidmore," I choked out the words. "I'm Skidmore, and I need to talk to you."
"Yes," Mr. Reid nodded. "I know who you are, and we were talking about you just the other day."
"There is so much wrong and we need something to change quickly."
He nodded, and I saw his eyes well up and tears course down his cheeks. He uttered no other words and we just stood there for an instant weeping together in silence.
Then the faces, one by one, turned slowly back toward the center of the room. Harry Reid's was the last to turn. I stood in the doorway, still sobbing from the depths of my soul, realizing that the heads would not turn my direction again, blinded by the lights in front, and not wanting to turn to face the darkness behind.
I woke up then. My pillow was wet with tears. My heart was aching. And my body still feels sick from the anxiety this dream triggered.
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