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Inevitable was the inane chatter about Paris Hilton's jail imbroglio, a blond ambition rudely stopped by California Superior Court Judge Michael Sauer's order for her to return to jail. We can't get enough Schadenfreude from Paris' demise, much like we couldn't get enough of Britney's meltdown earlier this year. We eat famous towheads for lunch, and one wealthy by birthright and sporting a vapid public image like Paris provided extra gravy that satiated us for a day, at least. Who needs to worry about one's own problems when we have Paris' anguish to feast off?
Why do we care about Paris? Closet intellects have wondered this ever since her first splash in the public eye, the wealthy hotel heiress whose dirty bedroom romp appeared on the internet "by accident." Paris is her own creation, but the same public that developed a love fascination with "Dynasty" and "Dallas" couldn't keep their eyes off this aristocratic celebrity. She's the unattainable "other side" of America that we don't see from our apartments and modest homes. Of beautiful clothes and lavish parties. Of an otherwise average looking girl who is beautiful because she can pay for it. We watched her like a train wreck in Prada, waiting (hoping, perhaps) that the shameless self-promoter would crash one day, licking our lips over the smoldering remains.
So when the ballyhoo spectacle that was Paris' jail sentence came to life, we immediately divided into three camps: those who feasted, those who clucked their tongues, and those who couldn't care less.
And for those who clucked their tongues, many of whom were the same closet intellects who asked why we cared about Paris in the first place, the prevailing question was, "Aren't there more important issues out there?" But the obvious answer - a resounding "YES!" - masks a greater lesson, that of holding attention-craving narcissists like Paris accountable for their actions, and that of our own hypocrisy in criticizing those who actually care about it all.
Allow me now to make a rather clumsy transition into another form of narcissism: the Bush Administration. The war. The lies. The pure contempt for our governing system and our intellect. George Bush is another product of wealth that achieved public power that has not yet been held accountable for his actions. He is Paris Hilton without the trial, the crying and the anguish. He's never been questioned, this male Marie Antoinette. And worst yet - he's supposed to be the president of our nation.
Let's fantasize a bit, shall we? A Texas criminal court judge hovers over a quivering 26 year-old George W. Bush. It's a warm summer day in 1972. George, Sr., and Barbara sit in the court room benches behind him, sniffling. He violated probation for yet another DWI (perhaps while he was AWOL in Alabama), and this time his father failed to pull the right strings for George. So now he must face the effect of his actions. The judge orders little George to jail.
"It's not fair!" he cries to Barbara as a bailiff escorts him from the court room. Pictures show a despondent George wailing in the back of a police car. George the Failure. George Who Never Could Best His Father. George the Jailbait.
Was this all Bush needed? A shock to the system? The knowledge that, yes indeed, he may one day have to answer to authority? To the law? And that the law applies to him, the Son of George? Maybe. Maybe the Paris Hilton light occupying the White House simply needed a kick in the pants. Perhaps he wouldn't have felt the need to run at all. But that's not germane to the "more important issues" facing us, right?
Once again the public enters the stage. Our own power, as voters and as consumers, makes or breaks celebrities and politicians alike. We post everyday (this writer, sadly included) about the need for Bush to pay for his criminal actions in Iraq but don't speak out where it matters - on the streets. We don't take control of our democracy and push for a change. We don't yell en masse. We don't picket. It's not a matter of money. Does one Paris Hilton truly outweigh the voices of a thousand screaming Americans?
And yet here we are, watching on a very small scale the very accountability that must happen on a large scale. Complain all you want about the attention we give to Paris Hilton. We should learn from it and move our attentions to Washington, DC, where sits a person well deserving of even greater punishment.
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