Infestation

[johnaries]

Here's a little something I wrote called "Infestation". If you like it and want to share it with your friends for free, please do so with my blessings. I you decide to try to "sell" it or make any kind of monetary gain, then I have to to add:
copyright June 11th, 2007, john h. anderson. But again, if you decide to share it for free, you have my full permisson and my encouragement to do so.

Infestation

Real Estate Agent: Hey! Thank you for calling me back! I think I found just what you’re looking for, and in the price range you requested.

Buyer: Really? I thought you said there was no way I could find anything like I was looking for in that price range.

Agent: Hey! Would I let you down? Just for you, I put a lot of time and effort into it and I found just what you are looking for!

Buyer: Really?

Agent: Oh, yes! It’s a beautiful little spot. Secluded. The temperature is perfect. It has mountains, valleys, and oceans. Sunsets you wouldn’t believe! It’s beautiful beyond belief!

Buyer: Really?! Are you serious?!

Agent: Really! I’m perfectly serious!

Buyer: OK, when you say “secluded”, what exactly do you mean?


Agent: It’s a tiny little planet in a tiny little galaxy that the locals call the Milky Way., which I’m betting you never even heard of. And, it’s all the way out at the edge of the galaxy. How can you get more secluded than that?

Buyer: Ok, now what do you mean when you say the temperature is perfect.

Agent: Oh, this is the best part! It is just the right distance from it’s Host Star - which the quaint locals call “The Sun” - that it actually falls within the range where water can freeze, be liquid, or become gaseous steam! Better yet, the planet tilts on it’s axis so that when it rotates each hemisphere has what the locals call “seasons”. when the Northern hemisphere tilts toward their Sun they have warm temperatures and the Southern hemisphere has cold temperatures. The warm weather in the North allows plant and animal growth., while in the South they have frozen crystallized water precipitation in the form of “snow”. This snow accumulates in the mountains, and when the rotation tilts the other way the buildup of this snow melts and flows down the mountains in clear, fresh water which is necessary for the growth of all organic growth. This movement of water also changes the face of the planet creating new valleys and gorges. Of course, in the North the process is reversed, but it’s still the same process.
It’s truly amazing to watch! And, it keeps changing! There are always new plants growing in new places! And the flow of the water itself keeps carving out different paths and changing the face of the planet. It is truly Art in Motion. You have to see it to believe it! Ah, here it is! Take a look at it for yourself!

Buyer: OK, so what’s the catch?

Agent: What do you mean “catch”?

Buyer: If this place is as wonderful and beautiful as you describe, it would be WAY out of my price range. So, what’s wrong with it? Why is it so cheap? And who are these “locals” you keep talking about. Also, what are those odd unnatural structures that you keep “flipping by” so fast?

Agent: Well, it is selling for a “fixer-upper” price, even though it’s not technically a “fixer-upper”.

Buyer: OK, I’m listening.

Agent: The problem with this beautiful, one-of-a-kind planet is that it has a bit of , well, what you might call an “infestation”.

Buyer: “Infestation”? With what????

Agent: Well, actually, with the “locals” that you asked about earlier.

Buyer: I’m listening.

Agent: OK, I’m being perfectly honest here, because I want you to know what you’re getting into.

Buyer (thinking to himself): yeah, only because I dragged it out of you….

Agent: While this unique position of this planet with it’s “perfect” temperatures and tilts and seasons led to the development of many diverse and intricate species of plants and animals, well, it was inevitable that it would also lead to the development of some animals that are parasites.

Buyer: Yes, that makes sense.

Agent: Well, after billions of years, eventually this lovely, magnificent planet developed a parasite that had the potential to affect the natural balance of the planet. You know, just like when one of us contracts a virus. The virus changes our bodily functions and makes us sick. Eventually, we can die and the virus will die with us, but the virus doesn’t understand this - the virus just wants to keep on multiplying without regard to the future. Well, this beautiful planet is infected with a Virus that calls itself “humans”. They have infested and infected almost the entire planet.

Buyer: WHAT?!!? How did the previous owners allow this to happen to such a beautiful planet?

Agent: Well, actually, the previous owner before the current owner recognized the problem early. He tried to “wash out” the problem by flooding the whole planet with water. It got most of them and slowed the infestation down, but there were a few like Gilgamesh and Moses that clung on and the infestation came back with a vengeance. Sort of like cockroaches, if you’ve ever dealt with them. Sorry, those are an Earth species and you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about. The bottom line is if you don’t get them ALL they’ll come back even worse than before.
And they did. The previous owner gave up and sold them to the current owner. The new owner tried a different approach. First of all, he promised that if they didn’t “pay attention” He wouldn’t use water to flood the planet, He’d use Fire and purge the planet completely, scorching and killing the whole planet and letting the planet heal itself on it’s own. Yeah, well, he was a wimp. He thought he could “talk” to the insects infesting His planet and convince them to actually take care of it.
Obviously, that was a dumb idea. How do you tell a virus “Hey! Stop killing me because you’ll just kill yourselves too!” Although, some of the smarter bacteria figured out that if they help their host they’ll get all the food they need, and so in some animals they have learned to rely on bacteria to help them digest their food, and the bacteria have a veritable feast helping their host live.
Unfortunately, the “Locals” or “Humans” haven’t learned that lesson, and so they seem bent on changing their Host - the beautiful, diverse, planet called Earth - until it will no longer support them.

Buyer: Thanks for being honest with me (to himself, "finally"). So, if I decide to buy this planet, what do you suggest that I do with it? Do you suggest that I purge it with Fire as the current owner threatened?

Agent: To be honest, if it were me: no. I wouldn’t do anything. If they are so bent on destroying themselves, let them! Let them dirty and pollute the planet until it is unlivable for them. The beauty of this planet is that it will breed new species that contribute to the cycle of life and don’t damage it. The planet will live on and be well rid of this infestation called Humans.

Buyer: It seems sort of a shame, though. If Humans had developed to the point that they could destroy an entire planet’s ecology, you would think that they could develop enough to figure out how to save it and live within it.

Agent: Careful! That kind of thinking is what got the current owner in trouble!

Buyer: OK, let’s talk price…..

[johnaries]

1. So, no one finds this even slightly amusing

or relevent?
:shrug:
No one even finds it bad enough pan it?
Oh, well. Back to the keyboard......