A sad show I saw the other night

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There is this show on A and E called Confessions of a Matchmaker that features real people seeking romance. It had this guy named John who is handsome, employed, and a 41 year old virgin. Turns out he is, or at least might be, gay. No obvious moral issue with him, after all he went on nationwide TV and his second date was a man, but for some reason he just couldn't figure out he was gay. Sure, it could have been worse, in that he could have married a woman and then figured this out. But to be 41, virgin, and have no real idea of your sexuality. It just strikes me as very sad.

[Warpy]

1. He might also have a very low sex drive

That happens, too. The good news is that it can be treated with testosterone preparations. The really good news is the potential of having control over it, being able to turn it off by stopping the drugs when it gets inconvenient.

He needs a good therapist specializing in sexual issues. My guess is that with a trial of low dose testosterone, he'd soon figure out who he's attracted to.

And yes, it's sad. Religious sex taboos make it very difficult for such people, male and female, to seek appropriate treatment to lead fuller lives.

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2. after watching the dates I am convinced he is gay

or at least bi and not attracted at all to the woman the match maker chose (and she was pretty good looking and seemed decent). As to why he was so in denial that is a different question.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

3. Did the guy actually say anything about being gay, or was that just your read, your impression, from

seeing him on the show? Just curious.

I shared an office with someone like this for a while. Nice guy, very successful professionally, in his 40s, seemed "gay" to me and many others, but always had some implausible "he doth protest too much" story :eyes: about girlfriends in other cities that he'd go see from time to time, that of course no one else had ever met. The guy had a Catholic upbringing, and we worked in an organization, the military, that was not particularly "gay friendly", although in our part of it, the medical world, you could be pretty close to openly gay and not have too hard a time of it.

I often wondered if the guy just had a secret gay social and romantic life, or, even worse yet, was closeted within his own mind, and had never even acknowledged to himself that he was gay and allowed himself any of this in the whole time he'd been an adult.

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4. He never comes out and says he is

but he also talks about not being sure what would have happened had his male date been an Abricrome and Finch guy.