http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/?itemid=2621Casper, Wyoming (APE) - The White House today announced that Vice President Dick Cheney, mere hours after the bald eagle was officially removed from the endangered species list, became the first to officially bagged one of the majestic raptors. Cheney reportedly bagged the bird, one which had been released from captivity, after the third shot.
Citing the existence of some 10,000 nesting pairs in 48 states, Secretary of the Interior Dirk Kempthorne had hours earlier heralded the removal of the national bird from the United States' list of endangered species.
In honor of the occasion comedian Stephen Colbert had donated his bald eagle named "Stephen Jr." whom he had supported the rescue of, to the vice president as a gift. Colbert could not be reached for comment.
Larry Schweiger, spokesman for the National Wildlife Federation angrily protested the vice president's actions, stating, "The Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act and the Migratory Bird Treaty Act still protect the bald eagle, and prohibit killing, selling or otherwise harming eagles, their nests or eggs."
(Satire)