Crazy Neighbors With Guns

[walldude]

This guy who lives across town from me is nuts. He's one of those gun toting crazies who has a full on arsenal in his house. RPG's, Grenades, Assault Rifles, Automatic Weapons. He's got enough shit to blow up the entire town 10 times over. One day some crazy whacked out dudes went nuts and blew up a building in a neighboring state. Mr gun nut got very nervous. He realized that the guy who lives next to me has the exact same color skin as the whacked out bomber dudes, and they also subscribe to the same religious philosophy. He also realized that it's possible that my neighbor was as armed to the teeth as he is. So he hires some mercenary's, arms them and invades my neighbors property. He kills my neighbors and takes over their house. I guess the fact that the house is sitting on one of the worlds largest gold deposits is a lucky break, an added bonus :eyes: So here I am with an armed psycho army living next door to me. I tried going over there to make peace with the guy, but he just told me I'm one of those lefty lunatics and if I'm not careful my home and myself are next. So I do the only thing I can think of. I set out to get some weapons of my own, you know, to protect my home. Well, that didn't go too well. I was able to buy some small arms but anything big enough to deter my crazy new neighbor is apparently not available to a lunatic like me. Crazy neighbor actually had the balls to tell me that if he even hears I am attempting to level the playing field by getting bigger weapons he'll blow up my house before I get a chance to acquire them. So what do I do now? How do I insure that crazy neighbor doesn't attack me to get the gold that's hidden under my house? What would you do if you were in my shoes?

[cdnwannabe]

1. Just like any arms race.....

nobody wins

[Solo_in_MD]

2. Stop listening to the voices?

[Swamp Rat]

3. Buy a M-102 105mm howitzer and park it in your back yard and cover your house

with American flags. :patriot:

[walldude]

6. Can't afford the ammo...

hehe...

[Swamp Rat]

13. Make sure to call the FBI if he threatens to kill a certain politician

;)

... and hire these ladies to greet the FBI at the door. :D

[walldude]

23. Hmmm silicon based weapons...

No Republican can resist... :rofl:

[Homer Wells]

4. Damn good analogy

K&R

[cynatnite]

5. Get the hell out of dodge n/t

[raccoon]

7. That's about the way it is in real life.

Disarm, and you KNOW what will happen.

[LSK]

8. K&R - awesome analogy

[Pharaoh]

9. Get one of these

Then make a suprise attack in the middle of the night

<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>

[sinkingfeeling]

10. Too bad there's not some type of neighborhood organization that would attempt to

negotiate a settlemen and help disarm you crazy neighbor, based on some type of 'international' laws and fairness.

[walldude]

16. There is, but crazy neighbor sent his attack dog

to infiltrate the organization known as The United Neighbors and made sure that no reasonable discourse be allowed.

[-..__...]

11. I'm assuming this isn't a joke.

How do know he has "RPG's, Grenades, Assault Rifles, Automatic Weapons"?

Have you actually seen them, or is he just telling you he has that kind of stuff?

[LSK]

12. the OP = Iran, the neighbor = Chimpy McCokeSpoon

[-..__...]

17. Never mind...

:blush:

[bperci108]

27. Don't feel bad....

...took me a minute, too.


:dunce: <= Me.

[-..__...]

30. Not so much that...

GD is better known for righteous anger rather than humor or parody. :smoke:

[benEzra]

14. If he has that stuff without Federal permission (BATFE Form 4)

then he's looking at the potential of 10 years in Federal prison for each item. (Assuming this isn't a joke...)

All of the above are STRICTLY controlled by Federal law (the title 2/class III provisions of the National Firearms Act), and possession is restricted to military or law enforcement unless you have a BATFE Form 4. To get a form 4, you have to jump through a ton of hoops (some have compared it to getting a government security clearance, sans polygraph) and be so clean that you squeak when you walk.

So either your neighbor is a felon, or he's a wealthy collector with a ton of Form 4's, and if he's the latter, then he's probably gone through more government scrutiny than your local police department.

And I do mean wealthy. Do you know how much a civilian-transferable assault rifle (a real one, not a non-automatic civilian lookalike) costs? Try $15,000 for a Chinese-made civilian-transferable AK-47 (more for a European model, which are scarcer), or $15,000 to $75,000 for a civilian-transferable M16.

It's also possible he doesn't own any Title 2 weapons at all, and is just blowing smoke at you just to make you paranoid.

BTW, ordinary civilians can buy fake RPG's (using parts of real ones to make them look authentic), fake grenades, and non-automatic lookalikes of military assault rifles that function just like a deer rifle or an ordinary pistol.

How do you know the stuff is real? Has he blown up anything?

[walldude]

18. Did you read the OP? Of course I know it's real he blew up my

neighbors house, killed them and took their gold. Now he's after mine. :eyes:

[benEzra]

19. Ar ar ar ar... (n/t)

[jody]

15. You should create a superhero to protect you. How you ask? The same way you created the fantasy. n/t

[walldude]

20. So Iran should get Superman?

Brilliant... :rofl:

[LSK]

21. can we borrow him 1st?

:rofl:

[walldude]

22. Well we could..

but he's got that truth and justice thing, not a very popular view these days..

[Pharaoh]

24. I'd say your in deep doo doo

Your neighbor is obviously fucking nuts and should be commited, Of course there's no telling how much damage he will do when he realizes the guys in the white coats are coming for him. I'd say it could be the most dangerous time for your neighborhood..............:nuke:

[walldude]

25. The guys in the white coats aren't showing up..

I guess his insurance wouldn't cover it. We're fucked.

[sinkingfeeling]

26. OK, I've got it! You just keep bluffing and acting even crazier than your neighbor!

[EFerrari]

28. I would enlist everyone in my neighborhood to become self sufficient

first. I would publicly call out the crazy neighbor in every venue I had access to.

And I would kiss my @ss goodbye, because it's pretty certain that crazy neighbor will try to off me and pretty likely that he'll succeed.

Then, I would just do today, best as I could and as long as I could.

[walldude]

33. Yup, crazy neighbor has that look in his eye... n/t

[dogday]

29. You forgot the most important part of the story

The End.........

[ContraBass Black]

31. Pretend you've already got RPGs.

The guys who do didn't get their houses taken.

[xchrom]

32. i know this is supposed to be a metaphor for u.s. and our

relations with this or that middle east country -- but to tell you the truth -- with so many americans armed to the teeth -- just sounds like the good ol'usa.