Qualifications for White House Press Secretary

[Pacifist Patriot]

Must be able to wrestle an octupus into a mesh bag.

Must be able to swallow twelve live goldfish without throwing up.

Must be able to twirl in place like a five year old for half an hour and not fall down afterwards.

Must be able to wrestle a greased pig without getting dirty.

And now: Must be able to achieve fluency in two languages: English and Phonetic Spelling.

I'm sorry, but I have moved beyond stunned and dismayed to flat out amused. Talk about a job I wouldn't want for all the money in the world. Can you imagine the amount of cognitive dissonance required to do this for the Bush administration? It boggles the mind. Truly.