Chuck Norris wants Bible classes in public schools

[psychopomp]

I did not know about Mr. Norris' campaigning for this cause.

This is an ad speaking for "The National Council for Bible Curriculum in Public Schools" by Mr. and Mrs. Norris.

He advocates history and literature classes with the Bible as the textbook and claims that the founders of the United States "never intended for the Bible to be removed from public schools."

Now, I am all for people worshiping in whatever fashion they choose. At the same time, I am also for keeping religion out of public schools.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1pnFg0Sp2Xw

(I posted this in the LBN Norris/Huckabee thread but thought more people would want to see this video.)

[EFerrari]

1. I missed the part where Norris was a literary historian.

:)

[walldude]

7. You obviously haven't seen Missing In Action III: The Beginning..

:rofl:

[Kurovski]

13. Blessed are they who do reps,

for they shall possess the abs.

[truebrit71]

65. Not wearing THAT outfit they won't...

:rofl:

[Kurovski]

68. C'mon now...

who doesn't forget to put on their pants every now and again?

[personman]

111. Did you know Chuck Norris eats a TotalGym every day?

I tried one once that belonged to a fundie martial arts instructor who swore by it.
To be honest, I'd rather do regular body weight exercises.

[Kurovski]

112. In the old days toughy muffins like Charles used to eat nails for breakfast.

There's probably more dough in downing a TG.

[ulysses]

78. Walker, Texas Librarian.

:D

:hi:

[personman]

110. I have a theory about Chuck Norris...

Everything out of his mouth since the 70s is a result of brain damage inflicted by a Bruce Lee head-kick during the making of Way of the Dragon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLO1YIWQuXE

-personman

[Blue-Jay]

2. Who are we to question Chuck Norris?

[trotsky]

43. Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin.

Under his beard is another fist.

[Kurovski]

59. And for extra measure,

maybe he should stow another one elsewhere.

Hell, he's already got a thumb up there, why not go whole hog?

[racaulk]

74. ROFL!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0f9fG8c364g

:rofl: :thumbsup:

[Bluebear]

3. No wnder he is endorsing Reverend Huckabee. nt

[magellan]

4. So glad Chuck supports religious freedom

I look forward to seeing copies of the Koran, Torah, and other religious texts representative of the citizens of this country and their many beliefs, next to the Bible in schools.

[valerief]

6. I want to see Santa Claus and Bunny Rabbit studies. Equal is equal, after all. nt

[kestrel91316]

91. Don't forget the Wiccan Book of Shadows. And we can pick a DU

Wiccan to decide which version (of the millions) it should be.

[valerief]

5. I'm so weary of these religious nuts who have no respect for freedom of choice. nt

[madfloridian]

8. Did I hear someone say Chuck Norris?

Why he was part of the Showdown in Odessa. I never did hear how that turned out in court.

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/madfloridian/1331

[TreasonousBastard]

9. Too bad we didn't have many...

public schools until the 1840's, so the Founders probably didn't think too much about this at all. If they did, they most likely assumed the Bible was omnipresent and generally accepted as a school text. But only insofar as the school used it. They were undoubtedly aware of Jewish and Unitarian schools that looked upon King James with a jaundiced eye.

Truth is, while the concept of "public education" started in the 1640's, until Mann's fighting for free public education as a birthright in the 1840's, most schools were private and/or church run.

None of which, of course, is relevant to 21st Century public education.

[Trillo]

23. Here's a juicy little quote of Mann's:

It seems quite insightful to the OP's topic

"Having found the present generation composed of materials almost unmalleable, I am about transferring my efforts to the next. Men are cast-iron; but children are wax. Strength expended upon the latter may be effectual, which would make no impression upon the former."

Source: http://www.sntp.net/education/school_state_3.htm

[Hoof Hearted]

10. I made movies with gratuitous meaningless violence for decades, but now

I sell cheap-ass exercise gear made in China on late night TeeVee. If it wasn't for me, what would you have laying around for your garage sale 3 years from now?

I got all this plastic surgery so I wouldn't feel like such a creepy old man standing next to my crazy fundamentalist wife. I used to be into Zen Buddhism, till I cheated on my ex-wife, made a baby, met the Bushes and lost my mind. . . . . .

[Kurovski]

16. Welcome to DU, Chuck!

:rofl: I just loves 'yer hot legs!

How about we get together for a prayer session?

signed: long-time altar boy.

[Tunkamerica]

37. best reply so far n/t

[Snarkturian Clone]

42. from Cracked.com

An illustrated, vaguely Chinese-looking Chuck Norris bursts through his own poster, seeking vengeance on all posters for what they did to his country.\



Chuck Norris is back, on his deadliest mission yet. This time he' fighting the dual evils of Science and awful movie names.

[Didereaux]

11. Norris is from Oklahoma...and he is short! nuff said n/t heh

[girl gone mad]

79. Nothing wrong with short guys.

And he's not that short, anyhow.

[BornagainDUer]

90. Polite conversation calls them "the vertically impaired".

:evilgrin:

[Kurovski]

100. I don't care if he's 4 foot 9.

That bastard has a hell of a rack.

Holy Christ, check out that "Silent Rage" poster upthread.

[RB TexLa]

12. And what religion is the teacher? I haven't met many people with theology degrees teaching in

public schools. I'm sure there are some, but I haven't met them.

These people need to be careful what they wish for. A teacher, a person of authority over children teaching the Bible. Let's say the teacher is a Christian, he or she will have beliefs regarding Bible interpretation based on their particular faith. What happens when a devout Baptist teacher's Catholic students get in the family cars after Mass pointing out some "wrong" things? And all other combinations just within the Christian faith.

I don't raise children, but if I were going to entrust someone to teach my imaginary children the Bible, they are going to be of my faith. Want your children to receive a religious education, there are many fine religious schools in this country, shell out the money and give them the education you want them to have.

[Algorem]

14. too many boots to the head(SH-ZOOMP!)

boot to the head!yah yah!




Yi yi yai yi....

People talking in movie shows,
People smoking in bed!
People voting Republican,
Give them a boot to the head!

Boot to the Head! Yah, yah...
Boot to the Head! Yah, yah...
Boot to the Head! Yah, yah...
Boot to the Head! Yah yah yah.. yah. yah yah yah...




trash that bozo

[Canuckistanian]

84. Thanks for the Frantics reference

They're my heroes.

[Algorem]

88. Ed Gruberman for president. He wants to trash the bozos.

[MonkeyFunk]

15. I'll kick Chuck Norris' ass...

he ain't that tough.

[RiverStone]

17. Norris sucked as an actor...

He is even worse as a political spokesperson.

Why the fuck does anybody even listen to this idiot? :mad:

[Kurovski]

18. Because

sublimated, hyper-masculine homo-eroticism has a mighty, mighty pull on the right-wing.

[Algorem]

22. there should be a Walker Texas Ranger Broadway Musical

lotsa singin' , kickin', dancin' and a-prancin', white hats, womenfolk on pedestals , and tight karate pants

[Kurovski]

26. Don't forget the singing infomercial at intermission.

And a shower room scene, no pedestals in sight.

[KaptBunnyPants]

83. His renaissance is actually due to being an internet joke.

Chuck vanished after Walker, Texas Ranger. Then a couple of years ago people started making the Chuck Norris jokes, and that's where his new found celebrity came from. He is only important now as a fixture of ironic humor.

[Kurovski]

85. I must agree.

But his religious fervor is quite inspiring. Particularly when he's doing deep bends on late night TEEVEE.

[tkmorris]

19. He's been kicked in the head a few thousand times

Just sayin'.

[DFW]

80. That is what I was thinking

One of those early Bruce Lee kicks in that film in Italy must
have loosened more screws than the original diagnosis detected....

[Richard Steele]

108. He really has, you know.

He competed in REAL fights for years before becoming a sad excuse for an action hero!

[CyberPieHole]

20. I thought he was dead...

I guess I was wrong.:shrug:

[Kurovski]

27. Dead, brain dead--six of one, half-dozen of the other.

[KingOfLostSouls]

21. I hope bruce lee is reincarnated

so he can kick chuck norris' ass again.

[Skittles]

24. there's places for that kind of crap, Chuck

it's called CHURCH

[Vickers]

25. I love it when divorced philanders want to teach us morals.

:eyes:

[leftofthedial]

28. someone oughtta kick his ass

[Sanctified]

29. I would not care if they wanted to teach religion as a voluntary elective

but if they wanted to make it a mandatory class that would be crazy.

[Bright Eyes]

30. Just as long as I can start teaching evolution in his Church.

[Disturbed]

31. Does he also want the Koran, Hindu Scriptures, Bhudist

Teachings, Shinto etc. taught in schools?

[kineneb]

101. do not forget the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Ramen.

The way to get this nonsense to stop is to demand equal time. I want the teachings of Buddha taught, too. And the FSM, as well. Let us not forget the Norse gods as well.

Heh, heh.

[frogmarch]

32. Just great

Upon reading "He advocates history and literature classes with the Bible as the textbook and claims that the founders of the United States 'never intended for the Bible to be removed from public schools,'" my eyes rolled so far back in my head, they got stuck.

Norris - what a doofus.

[Warren DeMontague]

33. Oh. Thanks for weighing in.

Ya fuckin' martial arts rough trade, B movie meathead moron.

[Caretha]

50. Is it just me or does

he look like he belongs on that new tv show about cavemen?

[Kurovski]

60. He's not up to the "challenges" of the script.

And he looks like he should be in "Cowboy Bear Daddies, #7."

[truebrit71]

66. ROFL!!!

Okay..not fair...I burst out laughing in the middle of the office with that one!! :rofl:

[Kurovski]

87. Be sure to share with the boss!

:D :hi:

("Office Thigh-Jinks #12")

[MADem]

34. That Huckabee ad he did IS funny though.

The one that says he has no chin, but a fist behind his facial hair?

He looks kinda skinny-wussy in that pic, though...

[Hieronymus]

35. That'll sink Huckabee, as if he ever had a chance.

[SoCalDem]

36. Poor Chuck.. he's still in school? and wants to read his Bible?

Oh wait!!. he wants OTHER PEOPLE'S kids to have to read the bible in school... well, how republican of him...

I guess the Jewish kid's parents won't mind a bit..or the Islamic family..or the Catholic family..( yes Catholics do NOT slobber all over the Bible, or wear their fingers to a bloody stub, from tracing the lines of prose...)

I guess only right wing fundamentalist kids have rights these days, and everything in society MUST "bend to their ways".. :puke:

Why not just teach kids to READ, and then they can choose their own books to read ON THEIR OWN FREE TIME..

[Marrah_G]

38. That would never fly here in Mass.

[JNelson6563]

39. I will kick his ass

How? Easy. He's gotta sleep sometime.

Julie

[Snarkturian Clone]

40. You all misunderstand!

By "bible" he means "Chuck Norris Biography", which contains how he created the universe (roundhouse kick), how he lost his virginity before his dad did, why the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris, how he counted to infinity twice, why the boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris, how he does a pushup by pushing the earth down, and the details of his lawsuit with NBC over the naming one of their programs after Chuck's left and right legs (Law & Order).

The book ends by roundhouse kicking you as you read it.

This is the "bible" he wants studied in schools.

[trotsky]

44. LMAO

That's hilarious. Thank you. :rofl: Hadn't heard most of those yet.

[Fleshdancer]

47. if this isn't a DUzy, I don't know what is

and the details of his lawsuit with NBC over the naming one of their programs after Chuck's left and right legs (Law & Order)

:rofl:

[Snarkturian Clone]

49. thanks but they're not my ideas

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

B-)

[seabeyond]

41. i had children in christian school. only when i get to be the one interpreting

the bible and not the fundamentalist.

i am not opposed in later school years, and elective, and all religions and non religions..... but interpretation is too susceptible to individual, careless, agenda driven people

[marmar]

45. I think Chuck has taken one too many kicks to the head......

:dunce:

[NorthernSpy]

46. The public wants acting classes for Chuck Norris...

'Cause he's terrible. Just terrible.

[Kurovski]

70. Many teachers wouldn't take him.

Unless of course they had an overriding taste for testosterone-flavored man-candy.

[JHB]

48. Don't conservatives think celebrities should just shut up?

No need to answer; we all know how famous they are for situational ethics.

[Javaman]

51. Mr. Norris needs a brain scan. nt

[Didereaux]

61. can't scan what doesn't exist n/t

[Evoman]

106. He did get a brain scan once.

The last thing that brain scanner ever saw was his medulla oblongata doing a roundhouse kick to the viewing screen. Since then, other brain scans have refused to scan his brain on principle.

[flvegan]

52. History? No. Literature? Meh.

[Echo In Light]

53. A macho goon like him? A conservative? Golly...who'da thunk it n/t

[Johonny]

54. I'm totallt on board with this

as long as they replace the word Jesus with Chuck Norris in the Bibles used in the classes.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

55. Great, what are other internet memes up to lately?

Are lolcats advocating for burqas now?

[kestrel91316]

92. cheezburqas

[Sabriel]

56. I would ask my students to pray for Chuck Norris to STFU.

I hope someone listens to them....

[Ganja Ninja]

57. Chuck has had too many gung fu kicks to the head. n/t

[treestar]

58. He's not going to get them

Unless they are strictly part of a high school Literature Course.

You could probably do one on the Bible; it wouldn't be proselytizing just to study it as literature. It is a pretty influential work as a work of literature. You need to know a lot about it to understand Western European Literature, because of all the references (as you need to learn Greek and Roman mythology for that purpose).

As you can see, I was an English Lit major.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

62. I liked him in Code Of Silence and in some of the Walker Texas Ranger episodes

But his political views stink.

[Blue_Roses]

63. He goes to one of the biggest churches in Dallas...

and I heard he sits up front with his back facing the others behind him so he won't be recognized:eyes:

[truebrit71]

64. Chuck Norris should be praying for a heavenly intervention about his hairpiece...

..rather than this rubbish...

Want to learn about the bible? Go to church.

Want to learn about the real world? Go to school.

[Quantess]

67. I'll be the devil's advocate.

Speaking as someone who is almost completely uninitiated to the Bible (some might say ignorant of the Bible), I sometimes wish I had the literary references and understood the culturals message of the Bible, just so I knew what other people were talking about.

[FredScuttle]

93. I can summarize the entirety of the Bible's cultural message thusly:

"Worship me and no one gets hurt"

[knitter4democracy]

114. I've run into that in my grad-level lit. class this semester.

Now I'm the resident Bible "expert." I'm often surprised at the obvious Biblical references that the other students don't get.

[Megahurtz]

69. This Is Just Wrong.

No. No Religion of any kind in Public Schools!

[AX10]

71. Another chickenhawk action "actor".

Loser!

[whoneedstickets]

72. I hear that the Churches want Karate Classes!..

I guess that leaves the Karate schools to conduct real education.

[mmonk]

73. Fine as long as I can read a science book in Church and Sunday school.

[BrklynLiberal]

75. Why should anyone care what Chuck Norris thinks? This is getting to the point of absurdity!

[The Backlash Cometh]

76. That's what Sunday's are for.

[gordianot]

77. Just remember Bruce Lee did actually work him over.

Also what happened to Chucks' chest hair in his old movies, shaving chest does not fit the macho image.

[onethatcares]

81. fukk chuck, who needs him?

just another hollywierdo with an agenda. the guy is a nut case, I think he believes he is as bad as his movies.

[KaptBunnyPants]

82. Chuck Norris is right.

Let's teach Deism in school.

[OhioChick]

86. Who the Hell Cares What Chuck Norris Wants? n/t

[Catherine Vincent]

89. ditto!

[tjwash]

94. Here, Chuckie you can have my bible...

[opihimoimoi]

95. LOL, the DON KNOTTS WANNABE Speaks.....

[varkam]

96. The founders never intended for the bible to be removed from school? Really?

You mean founders like Thomas Jefferson who railed against Christianity, the Bible (especially with respect to mingling with public education and government) and took Thomas Paine's lead in being critical of the great monotheisms of the day? That founder?

:eyes:

The revisionism never ends.

Hey, Chuck! I still want my 6.50 back for seeing Top Dog in theatres.

[Generic Brad]

97. Chuck Norris can kiss my ass AND kick my ass

And that's all I'm saying about that.

[Cha]

98. I think chuck norris should

keep his Bible thumping views in his church and keep his deluded nose outta our public schools.

Mr tough guy but oh so fulla shite.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

99. I wish Jesus would kick Chuck Norris' ass.

[hatrack]

102. Yes, and I support geology lectures in Sunday schools

:eyes:

[Blashyrkh]

103. Fucking Chuck Norris.

Walker: Texas Ranger is a crime against humanity.

[Kurovski]

104. I like this comment at the youtube site:

"Never trust a man with a mullet..."

[LittleClarkie]

105. Eh, I've taken "Bible as literature" courses before, but they were in college

Eliminating it completely is a form of censorship. Even if you're not a believer, it's still a book of stories that is open to study like any other book.

[psychopomp]

109. Somehow, I do not think this is what Mr. Norris has in mind

Certainly comparative study of sacred texts from various religions is a good idea, though it needs to be taught later than high school.

[sakabatou]

107. Establishment Clause says you FAIL

[knitter4democracy]

113. Heh. I'll volunteer to teach it. Heh.

I'll make sure to cover all the main parts as literature and then move on to the Q'uran, the Rig Vedas, and First Nations creation myths.

Then again, I'm not sure he would want me teaching a comparative religions class or the Bible as literature (the only kinds of classes we're allowed to have in the public schools). I'd actually teach the Two Greatest Commandments for Christians, the Seven Woes, and the Parable of the Good Samaritan.