At purity dances, virgin belles ring

[NNN0LHI]

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-purity_bddec02,1,1538742.story

PEORIA - It was an evening for couples -- girls in formal gowns, tiaras and curly updos, escorted by their dads, in tuxedos or dressy suits and ties.

They dined on roast beef and waltzed to classical music in a ballroom decorated with draped crosses and a mannequin in a white wedding gown. They listened as a guest speaker warned of the dangers of premarital sex. Then they stood at their tables, looked each other in the eye and vowed that they would remain pure.

He signed a pledge to be the protector of her purity and to live his own life with integrity. She gave her father a gold key to her heart, and asked him to hold on to it until her wedding day, when he would hand it over to her husband. They walked down the aisle with locked arms and she laid a white rose beside a cross, sealing her commitment.

"It's like I'm devoting my virginity to my dad, saying that I will stay pure because it is the Christian thing to do," said Lindsay Anne Schell, 18, a freshman at Bradley University in Peoria. "The rose shows the world that you are devoting your purity to God and to your father."

[ulysses]

1. creepyass shit.

I keep hoping this fad will pass.

[Windy]

2. That is downright frightening... shades of the handmaids tale

[Bright Eyes]

3. "It's like I'm devoting my virginity to my dad"

*Shudder*

[boricua79]

5. hhahaha...

indeed. Religion at its finest.

[Buzz Clik]

17. daaaaaaamn! That is sick sick sick.

[boricua79]

4. hate to break it to the girls

but Christ himself very likely had sexual relations.

I always enjoy reading these stories about "sexual purity". I read them with a giddy sense of pleasure.

You cannot reform biology. You cannot reform sexual impulses.

We'll see how long they remain "pure".

[MADem]

6. Dances??? What happened to the BALLS? Were they cut OFF???

They used to call them Purity BALLS, which was quite the hoot for anyone who used that word as a noun OR a verb!!!!!

[Hekate]

43. Maybe too many people made fun of them for calling them Purity Balls. And they finally got it. nt

[MADem]

49. Well, Hmmmph!!! No balls, no glory!! Petunia, you're staying HOME!

:rofl:

[bluestateguy]

7. If that's their thing, then fine

But most girls do not keep these "virginity pledges" in the long-run.

[Mr_Monday]

8. Feminists wil have a field day with this

Has all the sign of male ownership of the female individual. And it's fucking creepy.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

15. A woman has the right to do with her body what she wants

That's why I say the question of chastity is a private one, something that is no one's business but the woman's.

[Bicoastal]

9. "Don't EVER have filthy, dirty, nasty, sinful sex outside of marriage, young lady!"

Why do I think this approach will have the opposite effect?

[dflprincess]

27. Or they will keep the pledge and wind up being wives

who cannot enjoy sex with their husbands...Though I suppose if they marry guys like their daddies their husbands won't expect a "lady" to like sex - they'll expect that from their mistresses.

[seasat]

10. Does the key go to a chastity belt?

I saw a study somewhere that teens that take these pledges were more likely to have sex than those that don't. It reminds me of the joke by a southern comedian.

The Baptist minister warned us that if we danced, it'd make us want to go out into the bushes. When the school dance came around there weren't nary a one of us inside that dance. We were all out in the bushes.

[XemaSab]

23. Which reminds *me* of a joke.

So this girl who was raised in an overprotective, conservative, Christian household goes to her dad and tearfully tells him she's pregnant.

The dad gets all outraged, and demands to know who the father is.

The girl says "I don't know."

The dad gets even more outraged and says "What do you mean you don't know?!?!?"

And the girl says "Well you're the one who wouldn't let me go steady!"

[Nay]

11. You can bet that 25% of these young ladies have already been

'initiated' by good old dad. This stuff is soooooo creepy.

[Buzz Clik]

18. I don't know if daddy's the one who did the deflowering, but I'm guessing your stat is correct.

25% sounds about right.

[Thothmes]

57. Your proof is?

[Name removed]

12. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

14. Excuse me

Obviously you don't know much about Islam. The Qur'an gave women rights to property and education and child support long before women in the West had these things. A woman is her own person in Islam, and in my order, many of the senior teachers are women. Not all Muslims are right wing fanatics.

[Botany]

21. Sorry .... too broad a brush

But I had very dear friend who lived in Morocco and told me horror stories
of women being treated as property. I have female friend from Turkey
who has told me very similar stories too. Honor killings of a daughter because
she had dated a western man by her father & brother. In Columbus, OH
Somalia girls still get an awful "surgery" so as to keep her pure.

Sadly many of these evil acts are done in the name of Islam just like many evil
acts have been and are still being done in the name of being a Christian.

That does not make them right and if I offened you or your faith I am sorry.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

22. Much of those atrocities are a result of culture, not Islam

the Beloved Prophet realized that women were treated horribly, and addressed some of these injustices, such as female infanticide and the taking of women's doweries and then throwing them out of the house to starve. I find it interesting that it is only Soamli Muslims in OH who are mutilating their girls. If it was a practice condoned by Islam, EVERY Muslim family would do it. Kindly remember that female genital mutilation is also practiced by NON Muslims in Africa. As I said, it is cultural.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

13. As long as they don't make everyone go to these things,

it's their business. To my mind, one's chastity is a private matter. And I know of many women who did wait until marriage, as they felt their chastity was a great gift to their husbands--and also meant they didn't have to worry about STDs and unwanted pregnancy.

[flvegan]

16. Why can't sex be for the woman, too?

Are there purity dances for the fellas? Are they just allowed to run around, sowing wild oats, etc you know...cuz they're dudes and that's what dudes do?

Why can't women be allowed to just fucking enjoy themselves too. Experiment. Experience. If they want to abstain, great, but this whole "promising purity" is just framing virginity to be a benefit to her future husband.

And what is this "your purity to God" bullshit? Is giving head okay? How about receiving? Anal sex? Handjobs? Is it just vaginal penetration, like that's all that matters in regards to the woman. How delightful.

[mediaman007]

28. How come their sons don't have to remain virgins?

Shouldn't the moms exert some influence on the boys? Not that I would really make that commitment to my mom. But really, doesn't nature make the male the hunter? I can't imagine that most girls would have to say no, if someone wasn't asking. I think they are focusing on the wrong problem.

edit for spelling

[Rosemary2205]

19. Who are those girls hurting??

Yes they are being probably harmfully brainwashed and yes it's creepy. But making fun of their religious expressions is just as bad. This belittling of all things Christian does not speak well for DU, IMHO.

Seems more progressive to let each to his own and be there for these girls if they ever need mental health help. But that's just me.

[Buzz Clik]

20. Virginity is okay -- we all start there.

Religion is okay. Loving one's dad is okay.

But dedicating your virginity to your dad in the name of religion makes me itch.

[Raine]

25. It's the dedication to

daddy that is creepy not so much the religious part anyway IMO.

[knitter4democracy]

36. Keep in mind that many here have been hurt by those religious expressions.

I'm just sayin' . . . There's a reason many here are mad at Christianity in general and certain churches or behaviors in particular.

Heck, I grew up Nazarene, was a virgin until marriage, and I find that thing creepy.

[TlalocW]

24. What's bad about this is that no matter how hot, hot, hot their first time is

Whether it's on their wedding night or breaking their pledge in the back seat of their boyfriend's car, at least part of their mind will be thinking about dad.

TlalocW

[Raine]

26. Yeah and the fact that

it's seems to be so much dad's business, that's what creeps me out, eck. :puke:It's like dad being right there in the bedroom with you. :blush:

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

29. Why can't the girls pledge their vaginas to mommy?

If this is supposedly an asexual thing, why should it matter whether it's mommy or daddy that get the job of supervising the state of their daughter's vagina? Why does it have to occur in a date-like setting between a girl and a man, each wearing evening wear? Presumably, the girls are wearing high heel pumps, heavy make-up, and figure-hugging dresses. Why does it have to occur at a dance, where male and female come into physical contact? Why are lockets, keys, and roses a part of the ceremony, items usually associated with courtship? Why is walking down an aisle side-by-side part of the ceremony, reminiscent of marriage? The ceremony seems to be charged with sexual undercurrent. Why not just have the girls make their promise to mommy that they'll be good instead of to daddy? If the girls understand the importance of not becoming the school slut, why is it that only daddy treating her like a sexual object that he owns, possessing both her vagina and her heart, will make the difference? I don't get it.

[NC_Nurse]

30. Where's the purity dance for the son's and mothers?

What bullshit. :puke:

Creepy, sexist, weirdly incestuous feeling.

[Auntie Bush]

33. Is that even healthy? Where are the boys going to get a "fix"

if all the girls become virgins? Prostitutes or whores? I'd be worried about my sons. But, not to worry...hardly anyone ends up keeping that pledge. It probably just delays sex a couple months or a year and causes many marriages before they are mature or finish school. Can't put the toothpaste back in the tube once it's out. What I mean is once it's become acceptable behavior...it's pretty hard to stop!

[prole_for_peace]

45. that's what non-"christian" girls are for..

they aren't good enough to marry but they give it away...:sarcasm:

[Auntie Bush]

53. I don't think you even needed the sarcasm sign...because it's true n/t.

[knitter4democracy]

38. They have those, too.

I had friends at college who wore purity rings they'd gotten from their moms.

Creepy all around, frankly.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

31. "sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."

"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock

[Lorien]

52. Lol! Perfect. :D n/t

[Rageneau]

32. I'd rather read stories like this than many others I have to.

HOO-AH for the virgins!

[Ellen Forradalom]

34. Reminds of the saying that a father's biggest job

is to keep his daughter off the (stripper's) pole.

Like pledging one's purity to dad, this idea is predicated on the idea that there are "good girls" and "bad girls." In fact there is no such thing. There are only women.

[knitter4democracy]

35. My cousin made his daughter go to one of those with him.

It was all I could do not to throttle him through the phone when he told me about it.

Apparently, he is horrified that his baby girl is growing up and is starting puberty. He's scared to his marrow that she'll have sex before marriage (why, I don't know), and he made her go to one of those balls and promise him not to. Ugh.

My dad was confused why Hubby and I decided not to have sex before marriage. I rather prefer my dad's take on things.

[treestar]

37. Sick stuff

If she was pledging it for herself, it would be great, but for Daddy - that's gross.

But then we still have Daddy "give us away" at weddings. The symbolism of ownership by one man being transferred to another is still there.

But it is something they should do for themselves. The majority of teenaged girls just don't need to be involved with men at that level of intimacy. It's not just a game, especially for young girls.

[TahitiNut]

39. Then Dad goes home and tells his son to "sow your wild oats!"

:eyes: Why is virginity a FEMALE issue?

Ol' Sigmund would have a field day with these people!

[momster]

41. In One Word: Property

You don't want your grandchild to inherit property if you are not certain that it is your grandchild. Therefore, by ensuring that your son (in our patrilineal society) marries a 'pure girl', you can be reasonable certain that your son is your grandchild's father. Please note that in the 'purity ball' type pledges, the girl promises that her future husband is approved of by dear ol' dad. Most of these girls will marry within their community, church/town. They're not likely to go away to college where they might meet an 'undesirable' or if they do, you can be sure they'll be on a pretty short leash -- sent to Liberty or Patrick Henry. So this is a circle. By keeping your daughter 'pure', you increase her value to others in your community and if you have a son increases the likelihood of his marrying a 'pure girl' which keeps the property in the family. This also explains the public aspect of these events, instead of a private family ceremony. What's the point in having such a pledge if the families of future spouses aren't aware of it?

I'm sure someone is doing a sociology study of this culture as compared and contrasted with other tribal rites.

[Feron]

40. That is so disgusting.

I'm glad that my dad's idea of bonding was to do things like take me fishing and teaching me how to fix a computer.

[TwilightGardener]

42. Gross. Had my dad approached me with this shit, I would've packed up and left home.

[Berry Cool]

44. What I find particularly creepy is this small detail:

...they advertise their chastity by sporting T-shirts that read: "Abstinence Ave. Exit When Married" and underwear that says "Notice: No Trespassing On This Property. My Father is Watching."

OK, the term "Father" could have a double meaning here. As in, they could mean God is watching. But if they really mean that their FATHERS are spying on them to make sure they don't have sex...ewwwww.

And the whole thing of regarding their bodies as "property"...well, enough said.

[momster]

58. If the Boyfriend Gets to the Underwear

It won't matter what the hell it says.

[rebecca_herman]

46. Creepy

When to have sex or not is a personal choice... the dads getting involved and being pledged to is just creepy. If a young women wants to make an abstinence pledge for personal or religious reasons I would think she should be pledging to herself or to God... not her father. Ick ick ick.

[prole_for_peace]

47. i think it was in "easy money" a rodney dangerfield movie

his daughter gets married and won't let her husband touch her. she says that her dad told her not to have sex and her husbands says "He meant before you were married" and she says "I'm not so sure."

[MADem]

50. One of my FAVORITE films of ALL TIME. But then, there was no one like Rodney!

That film was panned by the critics, but I thought it was a scream.

[NNN0LHI]

54. I swear that I was thinking of that movie when I posted this story

The daughters boy friend really drove Rodney to the roach motel.

Don

[RamboLiberal]

48. I always wonder how many will be trapped in a marriage

with either of the partners not being very good sexually. But one thing that surprised me reading the new Craig Unger Book "Fall of the House of Bush" where he discusses the history and rise of the fundies is that they have a thriving sexual products industry.

Here's a website he mentioned in his book named after the The twenty-second book of the Bible is Song of Solomon.

We believe that God intended that such love, as spoken of in Song of Solomon, be a beautiful and normal part of marital life. Unfortunately this gift from God has been grossly distorted and abused by both ancient and modern people. Book22 is offering quality products to enhance the intimate life of God's children. Our hope is that our products will serve as intimacy enhancers for your marriage.

http://www.book22.com/merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=SFNT&Store_Code=Book22

[Monk06]

51. Virginity is God's way of telling you that you can't afford a dildo. n/t

[LeftCoast]

55. What? Do they have a freakin' hymen check at the door?

This is all about preserving Daddy's fantasy of his little angel. What a bunch of freaks.

[HuffleClaw]

56. haven't we seen this one a half dozen times already?

not that this sort of creepiness doesn't need to be exposed. brrrrrrrrr

[sakabatou]

59. Oh yeah

Like this'll actually work... :eyes: