|
"Thank you for calling, sir. May I have your policy number?
"I'm sorry, my wallet seems to have been eaten as well."
"That's no problem sir. We can replace that card for only a $6.00 surcharge and it will go out in tomorrow's mail. Could we have a credit card so we can address your situation as quickly as possible?"
"*Gasp* *cough...* I don't have a bloody wallet! Please! They just want to check me in so I can get the best treatment in the world! I'm in LA and my name is Arthur Dent the 37th! Please tell them I'm covered!"
"Right, sir... It does seem as if you are one of our members... Thank you for calling, sir. How can we help you?"
"*cough...sputter*... Damn it! I've just been eaten by a tiger! I need hospitalization!"
"Right you are sir! Now, What type of tiger were you eaten by?
"ugghh... They tell me it was a Siberian? *snuufle*"
"Oh, dear. Now that's not good, is it?"
Of course it's not good, you fucking moron, it hurts like hell and I need medicine and doctors! *cough*"
"I'm sure it does hurt, sir. But that's not the problem. Your policy only covers Sumatran, Malayan and Indochinese tigers. Siberians and Bengals are just to large and survival rates just don't merit our covering them... Unless it was an albino? Would you like to upgrade your policy in case this happens again?"
"*cough-cough** clunk."
"Sir? Sir?"
"Hello, This is the Emergency Room. It appears Mr. Dent will no longer require your services."
"Right, then. Have a pleasant evening."
|