Gas Price Surge Nationwide

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

(AP) - After weeks of decline, gas prices spiked sharply yesterday in many parts of the country, with the cost of a gallon of regular gasoline shooting up by as much as 15 cents per gallon in a single day.

J. Wellington Pennybags, spokesman for the Oil and Gas Producers Association, announced in a press conference late yesterday that the price increase was not the result of a surge in consumption or any new restriction on the crude oil supply.

“Mostly we just felt like it,” Pennybags stated. “It’s not like people are going to just stop using gasoline, now, is it? When we cranked the price to $3.50 a gallon you all kept on driving.”

Senator Jeff Bingham, the new Democratic Chairman of the Senate Energy Committee, has vowed to hold hearings into the recent price surge, but has experienced difficulty in convening the committee because nobody in Washington D.C. has the slightest idea who he is.

“Jeff Bingham?” echoed Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-WA). “Never heard of him, really, and I know just about everybody around here. You don’t mean Jeff Sessions, right? Jeff Bingham? Nope. Doesn’t ring a bell.”

Vice President Dick Cheney vowed to call a meeting of his Energy Task Force, and then fell to floor convulsing with hysterical laughter.

[mtnester]

1. Of course they did...got to cash in on building those extra oil reserves

ya know

[hatrack]

2. Bwa-hahhah!!! Very deft!

Nicely done! :toast:

[Javaman]

3. Of course they did, moron* pukes out about how people should use less

ergo, the prices go up. He's* just so fucking stupid. but then again, he* probably did it because one his oil buddies needed to buy an island somewhere and was short on cash.