Refs 'refuse handshake' over abuse fears . . .

[OneBlueSky]

http://www.eadt.co.uk/content/eadt/news/story.aspx?brand=EADOnline&category=News&tBrand=EADOnline&tCategory=News&itemid=IPED26%20Feb%202007%2018%3A28%3A55%3A737

SOME football referees are refusing to shake the hands of young players for fear of being accused of child abuse, it has emerged.

The East Anglian Daily Times has received reports from a number of parents who claim certain Suffolk officials will not shake the hands of children at the end of a match because they are worried their action might be seen as inappropriate.

The latest incident happened this weekend after a game in the Ipswich area when a referee told a player that he was not allowed to touch them.

- more . . .

http://www.eadt.co.uk/content/eadt/news/story.aspx?brand=EADOnline&category=News&tBrand=EADOnline&tCategory=News&itemid=IPED26%20Feb%202007%2018%3A28%3A55%3A737

[Horse with no Name]

1. Is this important?

Not dissing your post...but why is it important for the ref to shake the kids hands?
I think randomly shaking hands is poor practice during flu season anyway...but that's just me.:shrug:

[OneBlueSky]

2. just an indication of the absurd lenghts to which the "don't touch" thing has gone . . . n/t

.

[China_cat]

3. It's the idea of 'good sportsmanship'

losers and winners shake hands to show that it was a game and all in fun (well, ok, theoretically but sometimes function follows form). The officials shake hands with the players as a way of saying 'good game, thanks for playing'. In a way, a respect thing.

Is it any wonder our kids are becoming violent? Sure there are predators out there but not everyone who works with kids is going to hurt them and sometimes a handshake, or a hug, can become the most important thing in the world to a kid...let me know I'm worth something, let me know that you can understand my hurt/my need for respect. They aren't allowed to enjoy the softer side of child/adult relationships any more.

We can't touch them, hold them, let them know they matter any more. Hell, some parenting classes are now telling women not to ever let their husbands diaper their baby girls because of the temptation to abuse. That's just nuts.

[Horse with no Name]

5. I understand that

But when I played ball...the players were the ones that shook hands, not the refs. Do I think it is being carried to the extreme? Obviously. But when asked under a polygraph if they ever touched a particular they would have to say yes. Some of it is because of a litigious society--and part of it is because predators know where to find their victims.
Kids aren't becoming violent because the ref didn't shake their hand. There are many more outside factors involved here.
Although I do agree about the hugs--I grew up where teachers could hug their students. However...the blame for not allowing it can be spread to many areas.
The diapering bit? I've never heard that one. Sounds like some twisted fundie shit to me.

[China_cat]

9. Military hospital

when my last granddaughter was expected. (Scott AFB) Parenting classes here in Charleston. No religion involved...just the implication that all men are molesters.

And I didn't mean to imply that kids are becoming violent because of the lack of one handshake...they are becoming violent because their need for physical contact with adults is being denied them on all fronts. Hell, even parents are afraid any more to hug their kids because someone might turn them in for abuse and once you get into the child welfare system you're guilty even if you can prove you're innocent.

[T Wolf]

7. As a long-time youth sports coach, I was annoyed by the pro-forma

everyone shake hands after the game bullshit. It meant nothing to the kids except an opportunity to "spit on their hand" or "hit-'em'real hard" or something else along those lines.

I encouraged my kids to seek out an individual they had just played against and make a specific comment to them about the game. In that way, it was "real" or at least more real than the mindless everyone is all friends now crap.

Action without meaning is worse than no action. Just my opinion.

[China_cat]

8. Having had Girl Scouts for almost 20 years

I've found just the opposite...that action without meaning can sometimes (in fact a lot of the time) be the start of action with meaning. As I said, function sometimes follows form instead of the opposite.

[T Wolf]

10. Cognitive dissonance aside, I think there is a real difference between

the general idea of function-follows-form and the real world example of a sports contest.

To ask a kid who just poured out their heart and soul (and body) in a contest to shake hands with an opponent who kicked them in the head only shows that kid that lying (and that is what the post-game handshake really is) is the way out of anything.

To order the bully who got away with kicking their opponent to shake hands only reinforces the idea that the end justifies the means and muttering "nice game (loser under their breath)" excuses anything they did to get that victory.

Kids are not that stupid. Not by a long shot.

[seabeyond]

4. you are funny. f* the molestation concern. be afraid.... of the flu

i was a competitive swimmer for over a decade. we swam in winter in outside pools. ice all around... but yet we still were wet and almost naked.

because.... it is the good sportmanship, good game win or lose that we teach our children. that is as important a lesson as the game itself.

and i think it is sad that an adult has gotten to this point, not to mention the world we create for our children. extreme even in protection will be harmful to us all

[Horse with no Name]

6. What can I say?

I see sick kids hospitalized everyday. They are more apt to catch the flu by shaking hands than be molested by shaking hands.
However...in our area, we have some HORRIBLE staph infections that are out in the community.
Docs can't figure out where it is coming from, but it is resistant to a lot of medication.

[seabeyond]

11. ooooosh.... dont like the sound of that. havent heard of any of that

over here. we had an interesting one this year. a mild fever. no throw up. kids temp high enough two or three days out for both, lol lol. i dont mind kids have a time out from school every once in a while. they work so hard. they stay in bed, rest up, heal, and a little down time.

[Horse with no Name]

12. This staph is causing kids having to have surgery

to drain the abscesses--down to the bone in some cases and heavy duty IV antibiotics. We also put Bactroban in the entire family's noses to help keep it from spreading.
There is a lot of speculation that it is being transmitted via shopping carts at Wal Mart--but we don't really know. More than half of our hospitalizations are due to this.
We give pretty stern warnings when we send the newborns home from the hospital because of it.