The next time I hear "...your getting fired was 'a good thing'..."

[Tyler Durden]

BOOM! BOOM! OUT GO THE LIGHTS.

My losing health care for me and my family in the middle of a disability is NOT "A GOOD THING."
Not being able to have Physical Therapy for my injury because I don't have the cash is NOT "A GOOD THING."
Registering for the local food bank instead of contributing to it is NOT "A GOOD THING."
Not being able to even get unemployment compensation because of temporary disability is NOT "A GOOD THING."
Watching the food supply in the pantry get lower and replacing it with seconds and bargain marked down stuff is NOT "A GOOD THING."
Liquidating the last penny from the last CD and very small 401k to make the next couple month's mortgage is NOT "A GOOD THING."

I don't fucking care that I worked for Nazis in a miserable industry; people depended on me, and my not being able to meet my obligations now is, you guessed it:

NOT A GOOD FUCKING THING.

I live in Mid Michigan, and the economy here is so bad that they are calling us "MICHISSIPPI," not to slander any other state that's in trouble mind you. I'm 54 years old, and the next job just ain't on the horizon, and I have absolutely no idea what to do next. So thanks for the effort, everyone here and in my personal life, but I don't care how bad the last job was: getting fired on the cusp of the next recession/depression cannot in any way shape or form be considered "...A GOOD THING."

I have to stop: my right hand is killing me.

[blondie58]

1. I am so sorry

I am sorry that you're having such a rough time of it. I hope that things turn around soon for you and your family.

[Tyler Durden]

2. 's ok. I'm just pissed right now.

One of the very few extended family members that I like and still talk to just said it in a well meaning way. As I didn't unload on her, I had to rant somewhere.

[acmavm]

3. Oh my goodness, who was stupid enough to tell you that? I know exactly

how you feel. I got let go from a job and it was the sole source of income. When you lose the source of your income, everything from feeding your kid to making your house payment to putting gas in your car or paying utilities becomes an impossibility.

Someone told me that 'maybe it was for the best'. We no longer speak. That was one of the dumbest and coldest remarks from a brain dead loser that I've ever heard.

I feel so sorry for you. I'm one of those who is always on the edge because I live from paycheck to paycheck.

Tell the next clown who says that to start footing your bills and cover your emergencies if he/she thinks it is such a 'good think'.

[Tyler Durden]

5. It always seems to come from someone with one of those "JOB" things.

You know, I've been homeless, I've been unemployed: both laid off and fired; and it has made me so aware of how bad it is to be without income and safety nets, that every time I hear someone talk about losing a job as "A GOOD THING" it actually triggers a small wave of nausea.

The old saying is right; "I guess you had to be there." No one can truly appreciate this kind of personal catastrophe until it hits them right between the eyes.

[ikojo]

10. I see and hear a lot of this on DU

People say all the time that something better will come along. Well, for most people something better DOES NOT come along, especially if one is in the 40-50 age range.

I realize that in the US people are not supposed to be angry about losing a job or angry period but denying one's anger and frustration only serves the corporations.

The the OP, I am so sorry this has happened to you.

[Retrograde]

40. try the 50-60 range

Even if you're kinda expecting it and are prepared, it's a big blow. And the older you are, the higher premiums for private health insurance become - if you can get it in the first place. Plus, you're also to young to qualify for most senior discounts, let alone Social Security or Medicare.

[fight4my3sons]

4. My husband was terminated last month also.

I am a stay at home mom. We have three young children (2yr old twins and a 4 yr old). His termination came out of the blue. We are in the same boat as you, though last week we qualified for medicaid. He found a job at a company that I will not name in fear of getting flamed here. It pays not even half of what he made at the last place of employment, but it is some money coming in until he finds another job. Thankfully we have a wood stove and some friends gave us some wood so we don't use up all of our oil since it is still pretty cold up here in Maine. It is not a good thing, as you said. Hang in there. Keep venting here where you have friends. :hug:

[Tyler Durden]

6. One thing you and I have learned: the bills must be paid...

...and where the money comes from becomes less of an issue with time.

We really need a new form of government that makes this not possible: the "Protestant Work Ethic" and NeoCapitalism be damned.

[leeroysphitz]

7. Know how you feel. My son Johnny was born

with a cleft lip, gums and pallete.

As the doctor was leaving the delivery room he slapped my on the back and said "Well he can always grow a mustache!" I was dumbfounded. He is no longer my wife's physician.

Sometimes people feel the need to blurt out something optimistic without really thinking and then, despite good intentions, say something inappropriate or come across sounding insensitive. It happens.

[ecstatic]

8. Very sorry to hear that. I think sometimes people might try to comfort you

and don't know how to. So they say it's "for the best" or "a good thing," drawing from the karma/philosophy of "when one door closes, another (better one) opens." As horrible as things seem now, you never know what is in store for you in the future as a direct result of this tragedy. I wish you well.

[halobeam]

9. When in doubt, don't "let it out"....

Wise words to follow, when you don't know what to say to someone who is going through something so difficult. Many people feel as though they should say SOMETHING, their intentions are most likely good and often it can come out so wrong. I hope you keep that in mind, although I'm sure your emotions are so fragile right now. I've been where you are, and I'm a half a step away from being there again. Often I'd rather just have had someone listen and not try to "fix" what they can't, by saying something "upbeat" which can come across as belittling of the shear frustration, angst and helplessness that is being experienced.

I'm sorry for what you are going through. It sucks.

[etherealtruth]

11. The loss of a job is NOT a good thing ...

It's not even an "OK" thing... here in Michigan ... well you know the rest. My thoughts are with you.

I am not sure people in other states really understand the job situation here. I am just behind you in age ... I am very grateful for the job I have ... even though I don't have to worry about pesky things like benefits:sarcasm: ... I don't have any! Because this is Michigan I am truly grateful to be professionally employed (it was very tough to find this job).

[Clark2008]

12. A little story that might help.

Two years ago this month I was fired/laid off from a job it took me months to get in a sad economy. It wasn't a great job - but it was a job. I was a single mother. My ex-husband is a deadbeat and fails to pay child support on a regular basis. I was up shit creek. Granted, I saved some money not paying child care and gasoline, so I was able to make it the two months it took me to find another job. During the time I was laid off, my grandmother died and I had to have a pet put to sleep because of an incurable disease. It was an AWFUL time, needless to say.

Two weeks into the new job - again, not the best-paying in the world - I was invited out with my new co-workers to celebrate one of their birthdays. I rarely went out, being a single Mom with little money. We went to a local spot to play some pool and down a few. Nothing major.

But, there was a guy there - a very sweet guy - who talked to me, who bought me a couple of beers, who played pool with me. I hadn't dated anyone much since my divorce.

He put my cell phone number in his cell phone and called me the next day for a date. Our first two dates were "chaperoned" by my then 6-year-old son.

Today, we're married a year - and we have our own baby on the way.

I never would have met him had I not been fired.

I realize it's not easy - I went through it. You're scared and apprehensive and can't figure out sometimes where the mortgage or grocery money is going to come from.

But, it CAN work out and I hope it does for you.

[Arkansas Granny]

13. I know exactly where you are coming from. I was told the same

thing when, as a single mother of four, I lost my full-time job and had to resort to babysitting to try to cover basic living expenses until I found another job. (Not that there is anything wrong with babysitting, I actually enjoyed it, but it didn't bring in enough income to support a family of five.) I think people meant well and were trying to keep my spirits up, but it is still a senseless remark and it is really hard to stop yourself from asking them to explain their logic.

[Tyler Durden]

16. "At least you're not commuting and paying for gasoline."

Some bozo said that, and I replied, "I don't have to put up with stupid comments like that: I own GUNS."

He chuckled but seemed a little disturbed.

[Arkansas Granny]

19. "You're lucky you get to stay home with your kids."

My reply: "No, I'm staying home with someone elses kids, mine are at school all day."

[Retrograde]

41. "I wish *I* could get laid off so I didn't have to go to my [insert adjective] job!"

Mr. Retrograde heard this from at least 4 separate people after he was laid off from his job of almost 20 years last fall. My response to them: so, quit, then, if you think being unemployed is so great.

[Tyler Durden]

14. "It's always darkest just before the tornado flattens your house."

Another one I use a lot:

"Smile and the world smiles with you; cry and you're probably exhibiting a much better grasp of the true depth of the disaster."

[B Calm]

15. The whole country could be living in severe poverty within the next

few years. When republicans are allowed to rule they'll always screw things up. The first thing they do is run up the deficit and expect the working class to carry the load. They sit on their asses and wait for the democrats to clean up their mess and then point their shit stained bony fingers at the totally innocent democrats. When they are not having sex with animals, they're having sex with children and gay prostitutes.

[Tyler Durden]

17. The only thing positive about that one:

When the shit hits the fan, the rich will feel it worse than the rest of us. As Dylan said,

"You said you never had to compromise,
"With a mystery tramp, and now you realize...
"He's not selling any alibis,
"As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes.
"And say, 'Do you want to...make a deal?' "

[B Calm]

18. The shit has hit the fan, but thanks to them will all suffer because

of their toxic sludge waters, polar ice caps melting and endless war! The only way these hard headed animal fucking assholes will ever get the message is when they fall over DEAD! Have I said how much I hate them?

[mcscajun]

25. Excellent point. Those who've always had do NOT know how to "do without".

Those of us who've come from nothing may feel the pain, but at least we know how to cope. :)

My job went off to India four years ago, and I've been drastically downscaling my life ever since, just trying to scrape by until I can draw on my 401(k) without penalty. It won't let me stop working, but it will keep the wolf from the door. A glorious retirement is NOT in my future nor, I expect, is it in the future of most in my age group, the 55+ set.

[Cerridwen]

20. All I can say is

:hug:

[radfringe]

21. my work situation doesn't look good either

long story - readers digest version: Big honcho was fired, rumors spreading that the company is closing, production moving to St. Louis, and no one can get a straight answer as to what's going on except for "there are no plans to close on my desk"

yeah right, heard a similar version of that before.

I have already told my partner that I would have to take the first job that comes along - even if it means taking a hefty paycut.

She thinks I should just wait it out and go on unemployment. Well, there's the little problem of HEALTH INSURANCE, I can't afford $300/month (or thereabouts) for the COBRA version on unemployment - hell I couldn't afford it now when I'm working.

I told her that if I went on unemployment - the only health insurance I could afford is PRAY-GO. (PRAY that I don't have to GO to the doctor)

[B Calm]

22. Now days, employees find out unemployment is denied..

laws are changing...

[radfringe]

24. that explains

the low unemployment numbers - if you are denied you aren't counted as being unemployed

[Tyler Durden]

23. 300 a month for COBRA?

Shit Dory, they quoted ME somewhere around a GRAND. We've got private stuff in the pipeline, may take effect in a month or so if we get approved. That's where the last of the savings is going.

Needless to say, we are walking on eggs around my house!

[radfringe]

26. I'm considered single

and the $300 was a number I had quoted to me a few years ago - so I'm sure it's much much higher now

but whether it's $300 or $3,000 - I can't afford it

[mcscajun]

27. If you smell it on the wind, don't wait.

Look for your next job now and get the jump on the rest.

Waiting it out isn't the best course of action here.

[radfringe]

29. been doing that

resume machine is on overload

signed up with monster, hotjobs, local job search engines and have contacted several temp (ugggh) services

[mrreowwr_kittty]

28. No, it's not a good thing at all

You worked hard your whole life to provide for your family and be a good citizen. And this is how you are repaid. I'll tell you what's not a "good thing": CEOs making over 400 times what the average worker makes. Jobs being shipped overseas. Companies artificially boosting their stock values by merging and downsizing rather than through innovation or product improvement. Those aren't "good things" but so-called economic experts act like they are.

[porphyrian]

30. Hang in there, man. - n/t

[windbreeze]

31. Reading more and more of these posts on DU....

and yes, I have been where you are, as a single mother with children to support...

You find yourself in a rough, frustrating, and maddening situation...try to take each day, one day at a time..good luck to you...
windbreeze

[Turbineguy]

32. Getting fired is never a good thing.

But for some, something good may come of it later. Here is my Tale of two Redemptions.

11 years ago,the day before my 45th birthday, I was fired (I was a ship's Chief Engineer and made an excellent income, which my family was happy to spend). Fortunately I was well aware that there were those desperate to fire me and so I had made some preparations (I was on an ancient steamer, breathing asbestos, that was getting harder and harder to run due to company mismanagement). So I got the chop. It was ugly, it was personal. Since I was in a Union, it went to arbitration. That took six months. The company said terrible things about me. That I was incompetent and unfit, etc. A month after the arbitration hearing the guy who fired me got fired himself. Two months after the hearing, (it was supposed to take 2 weeks) the verdict came and I lost. I was now unemployed for 8 months, 45 years old, the money was gone and I did not know what to do next.

I was up all night and at one point called my Uncle in the Netherlands. "So, what did you do when Sukarno kicked you out of Indonesia in 1958" (He was a Professor of Civil Engineering there). "I did not know what I was going to do, but when I got back to the Netherlands, my new job was waiting for me." He took a job with an Engineering Design and Consulting firm and retired eventually as a Director of the firm. We worked all over the world. He brought people safe drinking water and made deserts bloom. After wards he became Professor Emeritus at the TU in Delft.

The next day I took a temporary assignment with a company I had enjoyed working for before (it gave me six months of work), but found that things had changed for the worse and decided not to darken their door again. It was obviously not the job that was "waiting for me". I applied with another company (The biggest US company in ocean shipping where I had worked as a temporary years earlier) that had acquired 7 brand new ships that were being crewed with international crews (British, German, Polish, Croatian and Filipino Nationals). A few days later the phone rang, it was a call from Cyprus. I was interviewed and hired over the phone and became Chief on the newest, biggest fastest and most powerful ships they had. As an added bonus, the company that had fired me, hated this company (it was well run and successful). The company that fired me went bankrupt and was dissolved. The Arbitrator who decided against me got fired too.

This as it turned out was the job that "was waiting for me". I spent some good years there going around the world at least a dozen times. I would come home on leave relaxed and calm. It was a very nice three years. I eventually retired.

I hope all of you who are in this current situation end up with up with the job that is "waiting for you" whatever that may turn out to be.

[earth mom]

33. Sorry to hear about your situation.

Some people just don't get how bad it is out there. :(

My question is: How much worse does the situation have to get before the public sits up and takes notice? Between NAFTA, CAFTA, outsourcing, insourcing, Union busting, and wages driven down to the lowest bidder-when the HELL is the public gonna wake up and demand better?! :argh:

[knitter4democracy]

34. I'm so sorry. We're in a depression in our state, aren't we?

It's so depressing to see good jobs disappear and good people hurting. Hubby lost his job last fall (less than a month before we found out about my tumor--but at least he was still in the grace period and had coverage), and it really hurt him. Now he's in a new job with crappier health insurance--and he's a doctor. My daughter's asthma meds will use up the entire monthly HSA deduction, leaving us to pay the rest of our medical costs out of pocket (which are now much, much higher). It sucks.

I grew up in Mason. Whereabouts are you? We're in B.C., and I could keep an eye out down here for whatever you do. We're not much better, but you never know.

[B Calm]

35. B.C.?? Is that Bay City?

[knitter4democracy]

44. Sorry. We're in Battle Creek, just south of Lansing. nt

[area51]

36. I'm so sorry someone said this to you.

I'll never understand why people say this. :grr:

[grace0418]

37. I totally understand your anger, believe me, I've been there. But try to remember

that most people are just trying to encourage you and stay positive. I know it may be annoying, and all anyone should say in most situations like this is "I'm really sorry to hear that." but most people are just doing the best they can and don't know what to say.

Also, and I hate to say this, but sometimes it *is* a good thing. I got fired from a heinous, horrible job at a time when I could really not afford to be fired. But an opportunity I never expected in a million years came out of nowhere and led me to a new career. Now, my life isn't perfect, I totally hate my current job, but I love the career I'm in. So as much as it sucked at the time, it ultimately was a good thing.

Your situation may be different, but maybe the person saying that to you had an experience similar to mine and is just trying to give you a little bit of hope and positive energy.

In any case, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation and I hope it improves soon.

:hug:

[Generator]

38. Apparently someone isn't watching Oprah!

According to the "Secret" and the way Oprah has thought for years-if you get fired, it's what you really really wanted ANYWAY, and something much much better is waiting for you. Just saw a fired lady on her show say this, and how much the "Secret" helped her. What's funny is this is exactly the same thing our good buddy John Stossel clamied on a 20/20 awhile ago. Getting fired is for the better! IF you don't get fired from that crap job how can you ever become the millionaire you were meant to be?

[Midlodemocrat]

39. What a callous thing for someone to say to you.

I'm so sorry for your troubles. Hoping things get better for you and soon.

:hug:

[Cleita]

42. All I can say is you have all my sympathy and

my good wishes that things will look up for you and take a turn for the better.

:hug:

[blues90]

43. Getting fired is never a good thing !

I have seen some posts where people say it's for the best and the place did you bad or who would want to work for people who don't care . And then they add you are off to better things , well being broke and maybe homeless is in now stretch of the imagination a good thing .

Well let me say most companies don;t care about the workers so if you do your job and get through the day and can maintain your life now days that's about all most do hope for . Getting another job is no easy feat especially when one is past 50 .

Lossing a job is a traumatic experience , it comes without warning like a shot to the chest and then what do you do and how do you begin all over again most likely in a new feild with alot less pay no benefits and completely lost .

I know I am still is this battle and shock tryong to keep going somehow and someone telling me better things are ahead does not help .

[SammyWinstonJack]

45. I hope your situation improves for you blues and soon!

:hug:

[mnhtnbb]

46. I am so sorry to hear this bad news. I have a friend in the

Detroit area who lost her house last year because her husband couldn't work--and she was laid off. Took her almost a year to find a job.
They can't move because of having to care for an elderly parent.

There is something very wrong in this country of such great wealth
when people who have worked hard, played by the rules, contributed
to the United States Treasury all their life end up unemployed and not knowing where to turn.

If you are able to move out of Michigan--think about it. The economy is not so bad here in the Research Triangle area (NC). It was recently rated as the #1 place for jobs by Forbes.com

If you have friends in a part of the country with decent employment opportunities, you might see if you could stay with them for a period of time and work the local job market. If you have a church, maybe they could make some connections for you with a church in a place with good employment to find you a host family.

I hope you are able to figure something out.

[Tyler Durden]

48. Solidly stuck in Mid Michigan.

Houses are selling for LESS that $80K here. No reserves left after the tax disaster last year. We were just nicely getting on our feet.

[Tyler Durden]

47. I am not optomistic about the future.