I found this BIZARRO flyer on my door today.....

[thecrow]

If this doesn't beat all....



Comments? Is our army THIS BROKEN?????

[The Straight Story]

1. sgt shultz!

:rofl:

[AndyA]

6. That's what I was thinking too! HA HA - Sgt. Schultz!

I know nothing!

[ShortnFiery]

10. LOL, I loved that guy on Hogan's Heroes. Note that weight is not a factor

they'll take you and keep you as long as you are ambulatory, i.e., not in need of a walker or power chair. :rofl:

How witty to place the name at the flyer's bottom: Sergeant "I know noth-Thing!" Schultz. :P

[jollyreaper2112]

21. schuuuultz!

Well, if Sgt. Schultz is in today's army.

As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.
As for me, I know NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

[SammyWinstonJack]

73. *

:crazy:

[youthere]

61. "I know nuttink!"

[bleedingheart]

2. wow....just wow...

if that isn't a twisted way to recruit people....

the only hint is the Staff Sergeant title of the guy you are supposed to contact...have you called the number to confirm this is an Army promo???

[thecrow]

15. No....!!!!

I don't want to give them my number!!!

[Midlodemocrat]

3. Let's ask the guys at Walter Reed how good the medical care is.

[otherlander]

4. I think it's a joke.

No experience needed to be an electrician? :shrug:

[unpossibles]

24. no experience needed to join the army

they'll learn ya how to be an electrician. if you survive.

[otherlander]

32. ah.

doy. :dunce:

[formercia]

65. Electrician=

The snuffy that follows the wire from the IED back to the command post.

[conscious evolution]

59. No kidding

Besides I thought that they outsourced construction work to Hal/KBR.

[Marie26]

5. That's disgusting

Pitching it like it's a summer job mowing lawns or something. And cool - you can be a guitar player! Sign me up!

[thecrow]

7. My question is this:

Why don't they identify themselves?
Is it a secret army?????

[Marie26]

13. They want to reel people in. nt

[Beaverhausen]

8. Guitar Player? that's rather odd.

[BuyingThyme]

14. Yeah, wtf?

[unpossibles]

40. maybe in the Army band? I don't know

I'd say they'll promise anything to up some enlistment numbers. Well, except actually trying to recruit young republicans, of course.

EDIT:
bad spellign

;)

[BuyingThyme]

41. It's not really a recruitment flyer.

Well, at least that's the impression I got when I called.

They must be trying to sucker people into something else.

[louis-t]

44. Playing guitar at 120db while "loosening up" prisoners, you fools!

Gotta read between the lines.

[unpossibles]

46. oh right! Just like band camp or whatever it was Rush said.... n/t

[GreenZoneLT]

54. Yeah, there are soldiers who do that full time.

They're REALLY good, though; most of them have music degrees from schools of performance, and just joined the Army for the steady gig. Basically, if you can't advance out of your local American Idol audition, don't expect to be able to play music in the military.

Oh, and Rumsfeld and his successors are busily trying to eliminate all those noncombat military jobs and replace them with Halliburton-employed civilians, under "transformation."

[redwitch]

68. a recruiter called looking for my son about a year ago.

Marines, I think. I told him my son is a bass player and he said that could work, he could play music. :eyes: Just what the military needs, prog rockers!

[demobabe]

9. Oh wow! I could have a job playing guitar!

And $40,000 signup bonus?

And $70,000 for college?

Medical? Dental?

All for playing a guitar?

Where do I apply?

;)

[thecrow]

17. Call the nice Sergeant....

[demobabe]

23. Sergeant Pepper? Cooler yet!

I always wanted to be a Beatle. ;)

[DemoTex]

26. Can you play "Taps" on an accoustic? Yes?

Hired! Now, off to Fallujah and start strummin'.

[Bluebear]

11. Does he get paid by the !!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!?

[magellan]

12. OMG, recruiters are now leaving flyers on doors?

This is very sad. Don't they know they'd get freepers signing up in droves if they left them on port-a-potties?

Personally I wouldn't want anything to do with a recruiter named Sgt Schultz. "I see nuhzing, I know nuhzing..."

[BuyingThyme]

16. Has anybody tried the phone number?

[BuyingThyme]

22. I did. Here's what I found out:

That's the phone number for some guy who answers with double mumble (fake words) and calls himself Sergeant Schultz.

Ain't no government people over there.

[thecrow]

31. Should I report it? Is it a money scam?

i.e.: If you call do they add a charge on your phone bill???

[BuyingThyme]

35. I don't know what he's up to. He could tell from the tone of my

voice that I wasn't calling to sign up for no military (or anything else).

You should give him a call.

[louis-t]

48. He's obviously a "finder".

Probably gets paid for every signup. Disgusting.

[SoCalDem]

Most openings are for "bullet catchers"..the catch? gotta be alive to claim that bonus

:puke:

[dkofos]

25. I didn't see bullet catchers in the list. I better call Sgt HaHaHa Schultz

[Sequoia]

18. What hype...guitar player and animal care. Ha!

When I was in the a.f. a young guy told me how his recruiter promised him he could be a cartoon drawer, but he ended up as a security guard walking around a B52 Bomber in sub-zero weather.

[thecrow]

20. But but.... they are offering a job operating WATERCRAFT!!!!!

And I think you could play guitar at the same time :)

[SoCalDem]

27. Keep that electric guitar dry, now. y'hear !

[louis-t]

47. Did they give him paper and a crayon....

and say "Now draw that airplane, soldier!"

[Sequoia]

51. No, but the poor kid submitted some things he did for the high school paper.

As to the guitar, you could be in the USO, but then you'd have an office job as well or a "specialist" job.

[sarcasmo]

19. Pushing the age to 42 has been rather disturbing to me.

[dkofos]

28. Not me. I already did my time

[sarcasmo]

38. I too did my time. The thing that disturbs me is when I did my time I was 18.

I am 38 now and could never imagine putting up with the bullshit I did at 18 while in the Army. Ft. Bragg was a nightmare.

[dkofos]

45. there was less bullshit in the air farce but I still had problems

Mostly with authority

[Richard Steele]

30. Not to mention that 37% of 2006 recruits were "unfit" by 2005 standards.

High school dropouts, drug users and petty criminals comprised
more than a THIRD of the new recruits last year...recruits who
would have been REJECTED under normal military standards.

And those are just the numbers they ADMIT to. After some of the
investigative reports on "military recruiting" that have come
out over the last few years, I have absolutely no doubt that
well over half the new recruits are people that most of us
would NEVER trust with a firearm, let alone a license to kill.

They aren't just "scraping the bottom of the barrel" now, they've
tipped the barrel over and are digging DEEP underneath it.

[undergroundpanther]

81. I'm 42

Now Next November I'll be 43 Tee Hee Hee . Besides I ain't a gun in a human suit and I ain't gonna fight bush's bullshit war and terrorize people for corporations. Fuck the rich. Let the corporate pigs fight thier own damn battles.

[Bucky]

29. "Guitar player". I'll bet that's the first job they fill. Who wouldn't want that job?

Oops. Turns out even guitar playing in Iraq can getch dead.

[otherlander]

49. There's somethin' happenin' here....

What it is ain't exactly clear...
There's a man with a gun over there,
tellin' me I've got to beware...

[yy4me]

33. Nothing says the jobs listed are available to the person

responding to the flier. Nice use of "Some" as a qualifier! To what information is the asterisk referring? And, seems to me that last I heard, there were a heck of a lot more than 200 jobs to be filled, do they mean categories? This certainly is a very amateur poster for our professional army!

[BuyingThyme]

36. It don't even say anything about the military.

ON EDIT: Oh, it actually does say "military police." That might be enough to convict.

[Sammy Pepys]

34. I dunno, my crap detector is going off......n/t

...

[roamer65]

37. What about "Travel the world...

all the way to scenic Iraq"? Don't see that there...hmmm.

[Canuckistanian]

71. ... meet interesting people

... and kill them.

[TahitiNut]

39. Gee, watt kind of looser wood fall fur that?!? Watt dum fuck wood due that??!

How horrible that anyone would want to learn a trade so they could support themselves. How stupid can anyone be to want health care? After all, anyone can get a job at Wal*Mart, right?

:sarcasm: :sarcasm:


It's really sad when we attack the very people who don't see any other way to earn their way into the "middle class." Are we that out of touch with what's happening?

[thecrow]

42. I called him....

I asked what organization this flyer represented....
he said US ARMY
I asked is this an official Army flyer?
He said no.... it's something I created
Then he asked if there was something he could help me with...
I said... uh. no I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!!

Now I'll probably receive a double phone bill or something.
I'll just forward it to the Army. I'm SURE they'll cover it for me
:sarcasm:

[RC Quake]

43. Definately a joke.

[Marie26]

50. What makes you think so? nt

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

53. Gee...I don't know. Maybe the army's pressing need for decent guitar players.

Not.

[GreenZoneLT]

55. Nope. I guarantee that's a legit recruiting flyer.

I dealt with Navy recruiters in my last Reserve job a lot, and they always promote the tiny slice of really cool jobs. They use the Navy and Army bands as recruiting tools, and recruit band kids with the notion that maybe they, too, could have that gig.

Of course, they don't tell them how incredibly competitive it is, and that if you aren't good enough to be a professional musician outside the military, you're not getting that job.

Nothing new about that; the British army (the first all-volunteer, all-professional military) used the same technique in the 18th century. At least we don't promise them a big cash bonus for enlisting and then steal it back for "expenses," the way the King's recruiters did. You actually do get the signing bonus and the education bennies. There's more risk now than in "peacetime," pre-2003 (chances of getting killed are about double what they were in 2002), but it's still the most feasible route from poverty to the middle class that exists in America.

[Marie26]

66. And you don't

think they'd hype things that might appeal to a 18-24 year old guy? (Guitar, watersports, etc.)That's effective marketing. Military recruiters are notorious for promising travel!, interesting jobs!, free college!,... you won't be sent to Iraq! Once the target signs the dotted line, none of those promises matter. Hell yeah, I think they'd tell a kid he could be a guitar player. They're desperate now. I see no indication that this is a joke.

[fed-up]

52. kick and this needs more recs nt

[Hekate]

56. Post it over at Freeper-land and see what they say. Bet there'll be no takers. nt

[pinniped]

57. You checkmark Iraq or Afghanistan on the vacation signup sheet.

.

[Solly Mack]

58. The MOS is 42S for the Army band ( which does include guitar players)

forty-two sierra
military occupational specialty = MOS

Yes, the flier hypes the good (the exceptions in many cases) and not the bad

and the bad can get you killed


But just in case anyone didn't know such positions existed within the military - they do.

To the OP - yeah, the army is that broken.

[thecrow]

77. Thank you for answering my question!

:)

[MiniMe]

60. Intelligence Analyst?? No Experience necessary??

No wonder our intelligence is so screwed up!

[Aviation Pro]

64. 98C....

...the Advanced Individual Training at Ft. Huachuca is almost nine months long and very extensive. Most analysts are very good when they leave the place and some go on to language school and train with 98Gs (Voice Interceptor/Linguist) for another year.

[lonestarnot]

62. Good fireplace starter.

[Aviation Pro]

63. Let me add a few....

Infantryman
Armor Crewmember
Artillery Gunner
Air Defense Artillery Specialist
Combat Engineer
Special Forces NCO

They would have far more success if they led with Combat Arms MOSes.

RLTW.

[The Backlash Cometh]

67. Um. so the government creates jobs whether we have Republican

of Democratic administrations, but when Republicans are in office, the jobs they offer are available only in military service?

[RayOfHope]

69. Nice professional layout. Designed by a real pro, I can tell.

:eyes:

[liberal hypnotist]

70. Let's all call Staff Sergeant Schultz!

[progressoid]

72. Some OTHER jobs available...

PTSD sufferer
Amputee
Divorcee
Homeless person
Corpse

[rug]

74. Ron Popeil's doing an infomercial for them.

[ThatsMyBarack]

75. What if you call up "Sgt. Schultz"....

....and tell him you're gay?

[hvn_nbr_2]

76. Jobs available: 1 guitar player, 3 air traffic control, 130000 IED goalie. n/t

[pepperbear]

78. where's the "homosexuals need not apply" disclaimer?!? n/t

[AngryOldDem]

79. You obviously haven't watched Hogan's Heroes

Someone's yanking yer chain.

[Heywood J]

80. Yeah, but why would they pay

inward long-distance on an 800 number to do that? I dunno, it has just the right ring of desperation to be true.