Life is short my friends, let me tell you about our trip to France.

[yy4me]

Perhaps you will reconsider your "someday" plans and take that long talked about trip to--anywhere.

My husband and I, during the last 15 or so years, went to Europe 4 times. We saved through the year and traveled on a shoestring but had a great time, met a ton of great people and have albums full of wonderful memories.

Four years ago, we went to France with one of our daughters. Had a fantastic time in Paris and Provence. Charged almost everything and paid it off during of the coming year. We had plans to do a similar trip last year with our other daughter but I developed a foot problem that caused me great pain while walking. We postponed the trip to this year. My foot is slightly better and the deal was that we would go but if I have trouble walking, my husband and daughter would spend the day doing-whatever and I'd spend my day reading on the riverbank in Paris.

We had a great trip, foot bothered me but I charged on, not wanting them to feel bad for me. My husband insisted we take this trip, he said we may never have the chance again and he was right.

We came back at the end of May and talked about maybe all of us, our 2 girls, their husbands and our 2 grandchildren going to Rome next rear. What fun that would be. We joked that we hope we make it that long, our old bones are creaking and we have more aches and pains but we'll tough it out.

That trip will never happen, you see, my husband of 45 years died of a massive hemorrhagic stroke on June 27th. He was healthy and took care of himself. I am in shock and life is a blank right now. I can't imagine the years I will spend thinking of him and of the good times we had.

The message to you all, reconsider the "someday" plans, you never know what "someday" will bring. I am so thankful we went and would feel even worse if I had backed out because of my feet. He would never have seen the joy in my daughters face as we viewed the famous places we have all just read about.

[Lex]

1. Oh I am so sorry about your husband.

Wow, what a story. :pals:

You have some incredible perspective indeed.

My SO and I have always dreamed of, and even researched, going to Provence and to Rome.

[babylonsister]

2. Oh, yy4me, my sincerest condolences.

:hug::hug::hug: I'm so glad you took that trip, too. :hug:

[Solly Mack]

3. ((((((yy4me))))))

words so true

I'm so sorry for your loss

[madeline_con]

4. I'm so sorry. There's no easing your pain right now, so I won't

even try.

You may feel like going in a few years with the rest of the "gang". Don't write it off as out of the question.

Also... :hug:

[Lorien]

5. I'm so sorry to hear of your husbands passing

I'll be sure to pass your story around to a few of my friends who always speak of doing the thing they dream of "someday".

:hug:

:loveya:

[LisaM]

6. Thank you for sharing your sweet story

I'm terribly sorry about your husband. I'm glad you made the trip.

[librechik]

7. thanks for the reminder, y, and condolences. I try to think about that

"someday" every day. And try to make it "now."

[jody]

8. I understand. 28 November 2003 I lost my wife of 47 years. To all, please enjoy every minute with

your loved ones because they can be gone in an instance.

Dear yy4me, time will never erase your sorrow but please seek solace among family and friends.



jody

[SharonAnn]

9. Thanks for sharing the good times about the trip to France. It's important

to do those things.

[roody]

Condolences.

[LaurenG]

10. My sincere condolences yy4me

I am so sorry for your loss. :hug:

[OnionPatch]

11. yy4me, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.

You have my deepest sympathy. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. :hug:

[glitch]

12. Thank God you spent the last four years doing your "somedays"

I am so sorry for you loss, and so happy you had 45 years with the one you love. :hug:

[Journeyman]

13. "If there is any substitute for love it is memory."

- Joseph Brodsky

[Lars39]

14. I'm so sorry for your loss, yy4me.

:hug:

[predfan]

15. my wife and I are taking a friend out to eat tonight who just lost her husband of 45 years.......

they traveled all over the world and even though they'd had health problems, he died rather suddenly. If you've got to go, that's the way.........out eating lunch one day, and gone the next.

[tavalon]

16. I'm so sorry for your great loss.

[lovuian]

17. He sounds like he was wonderful hubby I'm so sorry

but words of Wisdom

[knitter4democracy]

18. I'm so sorry. What a terrible loss.

When I worry about the day-to-day, I remember how I felt during the week the doctors told me they thought I only had three years left to live. I thought of how I'd want to spend that time and what we'd miss. The doctors changed their minds, but it was a good lesson.

I'm so glad you had that time with your husband. One of my good friends lost hers the same way, and it's a terrible loss with no good way to say goodbye.

[melody]

19. Bless your heart

I cannot even fathom losing my husband of 30 years. To lose one of 45 years is beyond possible comprehension. Please hug yourself for all of us and remember to post here if you need a friend.

[mmonk]

20. My condolences. I think of "someday" plans often

and recent medical scares for myself and wonder. Cherish your memories and live the life he wanted for you. The important thing is he was a part of your life and draw comfort from it.

[zbdent]

21. For you, "We'll always have Paris" will mean so much more than

just a line from a good movie ... it will mean some of the most wonderful memories you will have of your husband ...

hold those memories close to your heart ...

[TahitiNut]

22. Carpe diem. May you forever cherish those times far more than you feel the loss.

Namaste.

(((((((yy4me))))))) :hug:

[kskiska]

23. So sorry

but it's wonderful you have those memories that will last you a lifetime. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "We're waiting till our retirement to travel." Big mistake. Do it while you can.

Best wishes to you and your family.

[DUgosh]

24. My heart is aching for you

So very sorry for your loss

[Name removed]

25. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[SammyWinstonJack]

27. ?

:wtf:

[XOKCowboy]

30. I missed the satire tag didn't you??

:wtf:

[comrade snarky]

31. Seriously

What the hell is wrong with you?
Take you stupid little prejudices somewhere else you heartless sack of crap. Twisted little ingrown wart of a person, I cant imagine how anyone could be rude to you.

This is a post about not putting off your dreams with those you love. I appreciate what's been said by yy4me.

Thank you again yy. Ignore this fool.

[babylonsister]

38. Stay classy. nt

[SpookyCat]

42. Seek help.

I cannot imagine the pain you must be in on a minute by minute basis to have to try to hurt someone so badly.

I'm trying not to let fly on you, but it's very hard.

I'm speechless at your mind numbing cruelty and ignorance.

Why are you here?

[AllentownJake]

26. I'm sorry for your loss

Your so on the money. I'm glad you had that memory with him before he passed and he got to enjoy France with his daughter.

[XOKCowboy]

28. My dad told me the same thing...

Early in his life he was the typical "save for retirement" guy but then got a terminal disease and it really changed his perspective. He spent the next 3 summers living on the beach in Baja fishing and also started traveling more. I got my love of travel from him and I spent all the time I could with him when he went on his trips. When my work sent me to all over the country and the world he'd revel in my travel stories.

We did a yearly 2 week trip in his old pickup/camper for 6 years until he couldn't make the long distance drives any more. He'd drive up from Oklahoma, his camper loaded with hundreds of pound of food and beer and we'd just take off from my home in Denver and drive wherever the road took us. Usually up into Montana but we made it up to Banff once and as far west as Seattle and San Diego. If we found an especially nice place we'd stay there multiple days but took it day by day, deciding which way to go when we got to the crossroads.

He's gone now but whenever I'm out on the road he's always there.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I hope that you go back to Provence one day. Look at your own advice and continue to live a good life because it's what your husband would want. He'll always be there with you.

My best regards

Gary

[comrade snarky]

33. It's hearing

Stories like yours and yy4me's that remind me of what's important.

Not jobs and not money. It's family, friends and taking the time to enjoy life. With them and alone. I think I need to gather some folks and go camping again.

[XOKCowboy]

37. It's true..

I remember another time back when I was in my mid-20s and a friend and I were riding our motorcycles on a cross country road trip. Our second night we made it to Yellowstone Lake where we had a rustic cabin rented. We had a fabulous meal in the lodge then watched a full moon come up over Yellowstone Lake while smokin' a doob on the lake shore. You talk about perfect! Next morning we looked out the window and bison were grazing outside the cabin right next to the bikes! We were cleaning the bikes and getting ready for a day of touring the park when an old couple came by. They were in their 70s, part of a tour group and we got to talking. We found out that they were retired owners of a farm implement dealership in Nebraska and after a little friendly chit-chat the old fella started in telling us youngsters about how he'd saved his money all of his life to get to retire and how we should do the same and... then his little-bitty wife hit him on the arm. Pretty hard too. I'll never forget what she said...

"Harold you old fool shut up! Look at us and look at these boys. We're on a bus and we're lucky if we can get on and off of it much less walk up to the places they're taking us to see. These boys are doing the right thing. Leave them alone. You boys do everything that you can while you're young or you'll be like us. Too old to enjoy it." She gave us both a kiss, he smiled and shook our hands and they walked off to their tour bus.

That was one of the coolest moments I've ever had in my journeys.

[alphafemale]

57. Good Story. Thanks. nt

[monmouth]

29. My sincere and heartfelt condolences to you and your family..n/t

[Kajsa]

32. My condolences again, yy4me.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=368&topic_id=1193&mesg_id=1195

[GoneOffShore]

34. Take the trip to Rome.

He would have wanted you to.

[GreenPartyVoter]

35. I am so very sorry for your family's loss. I lost my mom a few years ago and I feel very

sad that she never got to retire and do stuff with my dad.

[Octafish]

36. My deepest sympathies, yy4me.

Thank you for sharing a most important lesson with us.
May you all continue to find peace and love.

[Olney Blue]

39. Thank you for this eloquent post.

:hug: I hope you will be OK.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

40. So sorry about your husband

and so glad you didn't put the trip off till "some day."

That's sort of my philosophy, too. Do things when the opportunity arises and while you can.

The way things have turned out, I've never regretted any of the opportunities I took, but I've regretted the ones I didn't take.

[KoKo]

41. I'm so sad to hear of your loss....what a beautiful post..."Capture the Moment"

it may never come again. It makes me stop and think of things hubby and me have put off...and maybe it's time to rethink that.

Peace and love to you...and thank you for sharing this with us.

[cordelia]

43. Deepest condolences

to you, your family, and friends.

[shireen]

44. very sorry to hear about your loss

Your husband was a very fortunate man -- he had the joy of sharing his life with you and your daughters. But damn! He was too young, there was still so much ahead for him. I lost my aunt when she was in her early 60s, too young, and I still feel so sad and angry about it.

My thoughts are with you and your family.


:hug:

[SpookyCat]

45. A beautiful reminder yy4me...

thank you.

Peace to you and your family.

[Swamp Rat]

46. .

:hug:

[rockymountaindem]

47. My condolences n/t

[uppityperson]

48. My condolences to you and the family.

I am glad you had a great trip, and it just sucks that he just died. I am very sorry, and wish you peace at some point.

[Mind_your_head]

49. I'm very sorry for the untimely loss of your beloved husband

:hug:

thank you for the beautiful message you send, to LIVE life - every day - don't make excuses for why you can't 'live it right now'....as you allude to, there are no guarantees that there will be a 'tomorrow'....for any of us.

[Hekate]

50. Thank you, thank you for sharing that beautiful and loving message.So many of us need to hear it...

May these lovely memories sustain you. :hug:

Hekate

[beac]

51. I am so sorry for your loss.

Thank you for reminding us what's important.

[sudopod]

52. *hug* nt

[Lugnut]

53. I am so sorry.

:(

[KT2000]

54. I'm so sorry

about your loss. Thank you for the reminder.

[SoCalDem]

55. Your story reminded me of something from decades ago..

I was a travel consultant and we had a huge floor to ceiling world map in the lobby.. Right next to us was the best restaurant in town, and after dinner, we would often have older couples duck in to pick up brochures and to gaze at that map.. Sometimes they would return many times over months and even years to "plan" that BIG TRIP they were going to take.. and then we would see them no more....Fast forward a year or two, and a lone woman would return to plan and finally take that trip...but it was with her sister or daughter or friend, because she was a widow..and they never made that trip-of-a-lifetime together:(

I am so sorry for your loss, but I am happy for you that you two DID take that trip together.. We rarely regret the things we DID, as much as the things we didn't do..:hug:

[roguevalley]

56. sweetheart, I hug you.I surround you with love. I am so very sorry.

My parents passes away ten months apart a year ago. It is so shocking you have to sit for a while. I wish you only the best and most intense love and hope.

[Jeanette in FL]

58. My condolences to you, yy4me

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sending me the exact message I needed to hear. We all put off for next year, for more money, for more time, when none of us know what the future holds.

I am glad that you and your family took this trip this year and that you will always hold those memories in your heart.

My prayers to you and your family.

[fight4my3sons]

59. My condolences, yy4me.

To you and your family. :hug:

[Pooka Fey]

60. Condolences and thank you for the reminder.

[easttexaslefty]

61. I'm sorry for your loss

:hug:

[femrap]

62. I'm so sorry....

but how wonderful you have such great memories...and really, isn't that what life is all about? I've never understood why people want to spend money on expensive THINGS when they could have a photo or a small trinket from a beautiful experience.

You are a most blessed person to have had the company of a wonderful companion for so many years.

Please take care.

[City Lights]

63. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family, yy4me.

:hug: So sorry for your unexpected loss. :hug:

[indepat]

64. We kept putting off that European trip until my our emerging physical infirmities finally made

such a trip undo-able. Don't put off to someday what you should be doing today. :D

[zanne]

65. I wish I was there so I could give you a hug...

And maybe cry with you a little. You sound like a strong woman, but I'm so glad you have a family to help see you through.:grouphug:

[area51]

66. I'm so sorry for your loss.

:hug:

[eleny]

67. I'm so sorry for your loss

You're so right about appreciating your dreams and following them. We've never met but I know that you're a special person with such heart. :hug:

[Tab]

68. I fully agree

First, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

Second, I'm glad you got to experience many of the things you wanted to experience together. Life can change in an instance.

Third, I remember 20-something years ago, I had always wanted to go to Nepal, and finally just plunked down the cash and did it. Best experience of my life. Sometimes you need to just stop making excuses, and make it happen. It's rare that you'll regret making a wish come to life.

Fourth, don't let fate stop you. Take your daughters to all the other places you wanted to go. Life gets interrupted sometimes, but it shouldn't stop.

My thoughts are with you.

[onethatcares]

69. I extend my deepest sympathies and want you to know

I want my life with my wife of 38 years to be like yours. We don't ever know what's around the next corner, tell those you love that you do, you might never get another chance. Peace

[latebloomer]

70. I'm so sorry

Thank you so much for the reminder that we need to treasure the people we love, every day.

:hug:

[Individualist]

71. Sincerest sympathy for your loss, yy4me

:hug:

[Uncle Joe]

72. I am sorry for your loss, may your 45 years of memories

fill part of the vacuum in your heart.:hug:

[NuttyFluffers]

73. that someday has always been today...

and eternity's footprint in this world has always been in memory and dreams.

:hug:

remember joyful smiles and dream of sweet laughter; in such an eternity you can never be alone.

[MasonJar]

74. Very sound advice and thanks for reminding us. I am so sorry for

your loss and so glad that you were able to take the trip together.

[symbolman]

75. Im so sorry to hear of your loss, you seem to be coping better than I might

maybe you're wiser, having been together so long. :)

I won't offer any advice as I've not been in your position, tho I did lose my mom to breast cancer when I was 16 - took her about four years before she gave up the ghost.. I think it made me impulsive and wanting to live life to the fullest.. To this day I tell people that if they love someone they'd best tell them on a regular basis as it might literally be the last time they get to..

I'm sending this thread to my wife and telling her we HAVE to go to Paris :) I am still mad at myself for having been stationed in England during my stint in the military and NOT at least taking a trip across the channel! It would have Been a Whole $15, and no passport would have been required, just my military ID..

What an idiot I was :)

Thanks for reminding us All what's Really Important after all.. And I hope you can hold your love in your heart without too much pain, with any luck, you might just see him Again.. In an Infinate Universe it's ALL possible :)

Thank you..

[neuvocat]

76. This is an insensitive, awful post.

Most people won't get "someday" because of the bleak economy. Many of them have worse problems than just their feet. Look at what has happened this week alone and look at some of the posts around here. Wages are shrinking while expenses are growing. Those savings throughout the year have been wiped out and people can't afford to go anywhere. Their travel plans have to be canceled due to the rising cost of fuel alone. Grocery bills are skyrocketing. The opportunities to go to college are shriveling. People are mortgaging their futures just to survive. Growing numbers of people are becoming homeless. Some are fortunate just to take time off from work even if they can't go anywhere because they have a job to take time from.

These people have their arms tied behind their backs and you're telling them to go swimming. They are well aware of what they're missing out on. They are better off without you using the memory of your husband to patronize them.

[asteroid2003QQ47]

77. Compassion is in order here, rather than...

the heartless abuse.

From "Most people"...to "a job to take time from." your points are valid
but this seems the wrong time and place to make them.

[yy4me]

78. My intent was to remind people that the ones they love are the

important things. Not the places we went, not that we spent. It was not meant to brag that we went to France. It was to remind people that there may not be as much time as they think to be together, to laugh, to give each other a hug and a thank you.

I would give anything to have been able to thank my husband for the years worth on companionship, for the quick smooches we gave each other each night, for the times he put up with my grousing about something. In short, I loved him with all that I am. We had some very rough times along the way. We plodded along and made ourselves do a little for our own well being. The post was not meant to brag about going to France or about issues other than to remind people that there are important things to do with your family. Do them. At some point, you may not be able to. I am aware of the bleak economy, and of all the other ills facing the country. I am aware of the fact that there are people with far less and with far more than we had. It is not money, politics, war, jobs, mortgages or ony of the other things you mention. It is about love and loss.

Lest you think I just have to write a check and it will all be OK, it won't be. Like most Americans, I will struggle alone now to pay my mortgage, to find the money to pay the real estate taxes, to pay funeral costs and probate. I will juggle and some will have to wait. My simple job does not pay much. I'm not a CEO with a big salary, just a 65 year old granny with a big hole in her heart.

Please think about that part and give your family a hug. What if you didn't have the chance?

[Blue Diadem]

79. I'm sorry yy4me, my deepest sympathy on the loss of your husband.

I'm glad you were able to go and spend that wonderful time with your DH and family. Cherish that memory, as I'm sure you do of your lifetime with him. Thank you for the reminder to enjoy and do what we may put off, while we still can. :hug:

[Beacool]

80. I'm terribly sorry for your loss.

Your advice is what I also believe in: Carpe Diem (seize the day).

People never should wait for a future day to do something that they enjoy: seeing family, taking a trip, buying something special, etc.

Within reason, we should never postpone our dreams. We only have today, we can't predict tomorrow.

I feel for you and your family. Hang in there!!!

A big hug to you!!

:hug:

[Imagevision]

81. yy4me, looking at the photo's from your trips sometimes can be magic, soothing...

[WinkyDink]

82. {{{yy4me}}} Words for the wise, if we're lucky.

[Hawkowl]

83. My sincere condolences

And I hope your story will serve as an inspiration to others as it does for me.