You can't make this shit up, folks

[CatWoman]

John Gibson Hypes A ‘War on Easter’, Announces Easter Bunny Under Attack

As sure as April showers bring May flowers, so too does Fox News every year around this time announce that there is “a War on Easter.” Last year, Bill O’Reilly suggested the Easter bunny was “under attack.” After embarrassing himself and his colleagues, O’Reilly eventually acknowledged, “There is no attack on Easter.”

This year, John Gibson is carrying the “War on Easter” mantra, hailing it today as “an incredible development.” Gibson cited efforts by the city of Walnut Creek, California, to rebrand the Easter bunny as the “spring bunny.” “Is this political correctness gone too far”? Gibson wondered.


http://thinkprogress.org/2007/03/07/gibson-easter/

[Lex]

1. Yeah, because a damn bunny has so much to do with Christ rising

from the grave.

WTF is wrong with these people?

[LSparkle]

17. Reminds me of a short story "Me Talk Pretty One Day"

I can't remember the writer's name (DAMN IT!) but it was about foreigners' perceptions of how Americans celebrate Easter, which they see as a ritual involving Baby Jesus and the Easter Bunny ...

[Lex]

28. The Rabbit of Easter, He Bring of the Chocolate.

"A bell, though -- that's fucked up."

I. Love. Sedaris.

[LSparkle]

32. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I was about to Google it ...

[Lex]

44. If you ever get the chance to

listen to "Me Talk Pretty One Day" on CD, please do so! Sedaris reading all his stories is not to be missed.

I've read all his books and have seen him read from them in person twice (see? I *am* a fan) but I bought "Me Talk Pretty One Day" on CD because I had to drive to Ohio and back from NC and thought it would pass the time. Honestly, I thought I was going to lose control of the car a few times because I was laughing so hard.

[tammywammy]

60. Have you listened to his

"Live at Carnegie Hall" CD? It's awesome. I laugh every time I pop it in.

[LSparkle]

82. OMG, to hear him read "Big Boy" would probably make me lose it

That story is funny enough just in print, but to hear it read aloud ... YIKES!

[kestrel91316]

93. Is he the gay guy that does the Santa's Elf schtick on NPR at Christmas????

OMG, he is hysterical!!!

[geniph]

29. David Sedaris is the author

[Jonathan50]

104. David Sedaris

[arcos]

65. Of course it does...

The Lord took the form of a bunny and pulled Jesus out of his grave. All eyewitness accounts confirm this.

[hobbit709]

2. So what exactly does the bunny

have to do with Jesus?

[Marrah_G]

15. It doesn't

Like all Catholic/Christian holidays it was stolen from the Pagans. Bunnies and Eggs= Fertility. Yes they are complaining about things derived from Pagan Fertility Rites.

They aren't the sharpest tools in the shed.

[glitch]

25. Lol! Never eat and read DU, I almost choked to death reading this. nt

[Carni]

74. OK yeah that's what I thought LOL

I appreciate Gibson and faux trying to bring back the old pagan symbols that all those those damned Christians tried to get rid of LOL

[MilesColtrane]

90. Christianity spread like bunnies reproducing?

They tell/do two of their friends, and so on, and so on.....?

[Bicoastal]

3. Protect the eggs! Protect the eggs!

And someone get that bunny into an undisclosed location!

:crazy:

[mr_hat]

6. Every egg is precious.

[Kare]

55. no no no you've got it all wrong the song goes...

Every sperm is sacred...

not every egg!

:silly:

[TahitiNut]

61. No shit! Oviparous rodents need love, too.

Talk about an endangered species! :rofl:

[kestrel91316]

94. Bunnies aren't rodents. They're lagomorphs. I know these things. Tomorrow

I'm going to be taking care of the problem in a boy bunny.

[TahitiNut]

95. Just because the scrotum is in front of the baculum-free penis. Big deal.

:evilgrin: They eat their own droppings, too. :puke:

[kestrel91316]

96. Now, be fair! They only eat the NIGHT droppings.

This bunny is a wingnutty, oversexed little freak, like most dwarf bunnies. Tomorrow I'm gonna make him a nutless wonder.

Happy ending.

[bryant69]

4. If we are going to declare war on a holiday, why can't it be Valentines day?

Every year that holiday comes around and makes me feel like shit - Easter never did anything to me.

Well, I will admit I let Easter crash on my couch one night and I think she stole a Blur CD of mine. I haven't been able to find it anyway.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[shain from kane]

19. Look under the couch.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

5. We already made that shit up.

Last year, after WoCI, people were predicting a "War on Easter."

Sure enough, they trotted one out.

[CatWoman]

7. Bad news, everyone

the Super Nova Super exploded :)

:hi:

[Initech]

8. War on Easter? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Boy George Carlin is right - declaring war on something is really the only metaphor we have left.

[SoCalDem]

9. Oooh I love the war on Easter.. even more than the war on Christmas

pesky wabbits :)

[rec_report]

18. LOL, make sure it's a poisonous critter! (Just kidding, agent Mike!)

n/t

[malaise]

103. I love that bunny on the cross

It's perfect.

[CJCRANE]

10. I blame James Cameron n/t

[Hell Hath No Fury]

11. The whole WC bunny change thing happened...

years ago -- four or five, I think. Some numbnuts just recently found out about it and is now stirring the shit. :eyes:

[benld74]

12. How 'bout a 'War on Idiot News Commentators'?

[CatWoman]

22. ding, ding, ding!!!!

:)

welcome to DU :hi:

[Dr.Phool]

40. Too many of them!

We'd be overrun.

[TheCowsCameHome]

13. So the albino woodchuck is worried about the Easter Bunny.

How touching.

[flakey_foont]

14. ah geez

is it really necessary to continue with this fantasy that some kind of mutant rabbit hops down the bunny trail every Easter morning with cavity inducing goodies ??? do even kids believe that anymore?

[shain from kane]

26. Is that bunny trail like some kind of bike path? It has to deliver all those

Easter baskets all over town. I'm going to ask the town council to fund it, and see what their reaction will be. They'll treat like Elwood P. Dowd in "Harvey".

http://imdb.com/title/tt0042546/


Edited to add reference.

[matcom]

16. PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BIBLE!!!1

oh and FREE SCOOTER!!11

[SoCalDem]

20. And what was on the menu for that "supper"..

Rabbit Ragout a la Barabbas

[sarge43]

53. 'fraid not, rabbit isn't kosher. n/t

[myrna minx]

58. "Where's my hossenfeffer!" n/t

[flakey_foont]

23. Hare! Hare!

:applause:

[Art_from_Ark]

99. Easter Yeggs!

[Jackpine Radical]

21. This whole business is pretty ironic when you think about it.

The word "Easter" is related to the name of the fertility goddess Astarte, with lingusitic connections to oestrus. The bunnies, eggs & chicks are all fertility symbols. Just as the Christers stole Yule from the pagans, they stole Easter as well. The true ripoffs of the holidays were done by the Jeeeeezus people in the first place.

[CatWoman]

24. well, Jackpine, my thing is

:wtf: is up with an Easter "Bunny"???

why not an Easter Chicken?

Chickens lay eggs; not bunnies.

Quite a dilemma here :)

[SoCalDem]

27. Damn you!! Think about the childrunnnnnnnn

How will they sleep nights now :)

[CatWoman]

35. they will just cluck themselves to sleep

:)

:hi:

[Jackpine Radical]

31. Bunnies...uh...

lay each other.

[Pastiche423]

52. But, but, but...

it's the bunnies that do all of the reproducin'!

[TommyO]

78. Uhm, you're forgetting the Cadbury Bunny - he lays eggs!

And yes, I know that male bunnies don't get pregnant, but if Peter can deliver them, he can lay them as well (the Bible told me so!)

[alphafemale]

63. Delicious irony is wasted on tasteless people

:evilgrin:

[Odin2005]

110. I thought "Easter" came from the West-Germanic godess Oester

[Jackpine Radical]

111. Ja, ja, bestimmt! Aber Oestre kommt aus Astarte.

The term "Friday" of "Good Friday", like the unlucky "Friday the 13th" additionally became consolidated via the archaic goddess Freya/Venus/Astarte and is familiar mostly today as the demonic Christian Satanic symbol, or the five pointed rosary star of the "Pentagram" of Venus/Astarte, integral with the anniversary of the crucifixion of Jesus. The pentacle being also long attested by Mesolithic astronomers which equally depicted the same rosary geometrical pattern drawn by Venus every eight years around the Sun in our night sky.
http://www.geocities.com/christprise/pagan-origins.html

[Sapere aude]

30. Well they found a box with Jesus' bones. He had some kids and all.

Easter is out dated. Here comes Peter Cotton Tail, hopping down the spring bunny trail. Hippity hoppity spring is on it's way!

[rinsd]

33. Colbert did a fantastic bit on this

http://www.comedycentral.com/sitewide/media_player/play.jhtml?itemId=61404

[melody]

34. Now, see the pagans should really get behind this whole "Easter being attacked" thing

All the pagan symbolism in Easter -- talk about scaring the hell out of
Oreally with that revelation.

[knight_of_the_star]

62. That's damn tempting

And this thread made me almost choke on my OJ. I think we could get some people together to call in or something when he rants about it and leave him stunned and speechless.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

36. Steve Colbert did a whole bit on this! This is too much! eom

[Touchdown]

41. I remember.

Had a graphic with bullets flying at the tomb, and Jesus firing back from behind the stone.:rofl:

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

49. Yes! Laughing here! The VIDEO is up at Comedy Central! I just checked!

:rofl:

[Touchdown]

37. Please save the rabbit. PPPPLLLLEASE????

[shain from kane]

46. What fur?

[Deja Q]

106. Sorry, Trix are for kids...

:rofl:

[JCMach1]

38. That war was lost a long time ago- the Xtians won it!

Happy Ostara anyone?

[geniph]

39. Next thing ya know, it'll be the Jihad on Peeps!

Save the Peeps! Save the Peeps!

...wait, don't save the peeps. I hate those goddam tasteless things.

[SoCalDem]

43. New rock band name... Jihad Peeps.. or Peep Daddy Jesus

:)

[Touchdown]

45. They already have a Messiah.

They also have passion plays

[shain from kane]

54. Are peeps kosher?

[sarge43]

69. Where's a rabbi when you need one?

I'd say not because I hear they're seethed in their mother's milk.

[shain from kane]

108. Manna from heaven.

[TommyO]

79. Buddy Christ on a stick!

I love the Peep Messiah - I think I'll bring a diorama to the family Easter dinner and see how it flies.

[shain from kane]

48. Tasteless? Tasteless? Have you tried sprinkling them with salt?

[Carni]

77. Sorry BUT -- those suck

Carry on with the jihad!

[zulchzulu]

42. Gibson should stick to "War On April Fools Day"

He could protest that he isn't the default Fool. So many to pick from when looking at the Faux Snooze staff...John just needs to stand for the group shot...

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

47. Hmmmm. I'd Have To Say Both Walnut Creek And John Gibson Are Morons.

It is ridiculously silly to have to call it the 'spring bunny', but even more silly to declare that action on behalf of one city as an overall 'war on easter'.

[SoCalDem]

50. There already is a "spring hare"

although it looks like a k-rat

&width=300&height=400

[no_hypocrisy]

51. Shut up John Gibson, and pass the Hassenpfeffer . . . n/t

[shain from kane]

57. Hassenpfeffer is still in Nicaragua.

Sorry, it may have been the Easter Bunny's brother, delivering the eggs to Nicaragua.

The operation was discovered only after an airlift of guns was downed over Nicaragua. Eugene Hasenfus, who was captured by Nicaraguan authorities, initially alleged in a press conference on Nicaraguan soil that two of his coworkers, Max Gomez and Ramon Medina, worked for the CIA. He later said he did not know whether they did or not. The Iranian government confirmed the Ash-Shiraa story, and ten days after the story was first published, President Ronald Reagan affirmed the truth of the matter. In a televised speech, on November 13, Reagan confirmed the sale of weapons to Iran, but denied it was in exchange for hostages. Reagan maintained his Administration would never conduct such deals. "Our government has a firm policy not to capitulate to terrorist demands... We did not—repeat, did not—trade weapons or anything else for hostages, nor will we."


Edited to add reference.

[unpossibles]

56. thank goodness Gibson makes up this shit for us. n/t

[knight_of_the_star]

59. Ummmm

So Christianity is under attack because we're not calling a pirated Pagan symbol of fertility and sexuality the Easter Bunny but the spring bunny? I'm not too good on the Bible, but where do bunnies and chocolate eggs and all that come into play with the whole crucifixion raising from the dead and ascending unto heaven thing?

[shain from kane]

64. I think it's in Psalms. Read it and report back to the rest of us.

[sarge43]

66. Nah, the Book of Revelation

Not specifically mentioned, but there had to be a rabbit somewhere in that mob of snakes, eagles, scorpions and horses with the faces of men.:freak:

[A HERETIC I AM]

67. The book of Fertilus, Chapter 7, Verses 69 - 72

Fert. 7:69 And Jeheboath and Ishmael and Amalike and Snotneezer, he who smells of the stable, made their way to the mount. And lo' as it came to pass, the mount was covered in a sweet, brown substance like that unto an oozing.
Vs. 70 Jeheboath saith "Ahh, the mount of chocolate hath an odor that is pleasant unto thy nostrils, as long as I am upwind of Snotneeezer. And Snotneezer, he who smells of the stable saith "I don't smell a damned thing."
Vs 71 Ishmael looketh upon the mound and saith "Hark! There appears tracks of a small animal who i suppose might taste quite delightful with a white wine sauce and who, when cooked, would maketh a fragrance pleasurable unto the lord"
Vs 72 Amalike, the observant, after moving upwind of Snotneezer, saith "Observe!, it is a bunny who doth maketh the tracks. Let us implore him to hop into our cook-pot. He is covered in this pleasant brown oozing." The bunny turned to the four travelers and saith "Fucketh off! This is my warren, you homeless, ugly, smelly vagabonds!"

[sarge43]

68. .....

:spray::rofl::applause:

[shain from kane]

70. Does anybody know how to cook rabbit? A burnt offering would not be pleasing to God.

[SmokingJacket]

71. I'm glad someone noticed.

I've been holding my own little personal War on Easter for years.

That damn easter grass gets EVERYWHERE!

[shain from kane]

72. Try smoking it.

[Carni]

73. The dummy--the bunny is a pagan symbol lol

I can't remember the details (someone might want to check me on *the google*)
but the rabbit hails back to the druids or some group of that nature LMAO!

[Marrah_G]

84. It's all about Fertility and SEX!!!!!!!!!! Gasp!

Easter comes from Ostara, around March 21st- It is the rebirth of the earth (spring equinox)...see the parrallels? The egg was the representation of new life.

Bunnies have been symbols of fertility in many ancient cultures, all over the world.

Most Christian Holidays stem from Pagan roots because when conquering and converting a populous its best not to break their traditional feast days ( don't kill the party man!) as long as they could still feast and make merry they were far more easily swayed.

Examples (with brief explainations):

Christmas= Yule (rebirth of the Sun God)
Easter= Ostara or the spring equinox (Rebirth of the Earth)
May Day= Beltane (Celebration of fertility)
All Hallows Eve= Samhain (honoring of ancestors/those who have passed)

[shain from kane]

75. The Easter Bunny. It's one of those Trix for kids.

[Shakespeare]

76. "You're gonna put those crosses in our warrens? We LIVE down here!"

Eddie Izzard's bit on Easter v. the Easter Bunny is funny and just spot-on.

"Bunnies are for shagging, eggs are for fertility..."

[Gormy Cuss]

80. The funny thing in this case is that Walnut Creek, land of the Spring Bunny,

is adjacent to Lafayette, land of the Iraq war cross memorial. Eddie Izzard was prescient. Perhaps WC has an ulterior motive in having this WereRabbit (oops -- I mean Spring Bunny) after all.

Hey, all of a sudden Contra Costa county is a happening place. Who'd thunk it?

[senseandsensibility]

85. I know! I was shocked to read Walnut Creek referenced

in this way. I grew up near there and it is definitely not "happening." Then again, I do remember when I was a child that a bank in Walnut Creek sported a big permanent peace sign on its exterior towards the very end of the Vietnam War. So maybe there is a precedent...

[Gormy Cuss]

86. Really? That helps explain the Mt. Diablo Peace Center.

The Peace center is based at the U/U church on the Walnut Blvd side of downtown (not far from Lakewood.)
For a pretty sleepy area politically, central Contra Costa has been a hotbed of anti-war activity. Well, a hotbed for a sleepy area that is.

Where was the bank with the peace sign, downtown somewhere?

[senseandsensibility]

87. I don't know Walnut Creek well

but my parents had to take me to Kaiser there because there wasn't one in our even smaller town of Pleasanton. So all I can tell you is that it was across the street from the Kaiser Hospital in Walnut Creek. That's great that there's a peace center there now, though.

[dogday]

81. I know who started this entire thing.....

[jakem]

83. the rabbit is dead. mary is pregnant. joseph is gonna be pissed...

ok, too much coffee. i should check into rehab for my comments...

[Fuzz]

88. Bill Hick on Easter

"I’ve been traveling a lot lately. I was over in Australia during Easter. It was interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do; commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Now, I wonder why we’re fucked up as a race. You know, I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the words ‘bunny’ or ‘chocolate’ anywhere in the fucking book. Where do you come up with this shit? Why those two things? Why not ‘Goldfish left Lincoln Logs in your sock drawer’? As long as we’re making shit up, go hog wild. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on its back crawling across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous connotation to it!"

[AnnieBW]

89. Was Glenn Close involved?

Don't boil the bunny!

[Poiuyt]

91. The Bunny Overloards

[ddeclue]

92. Why do you hate the tooth fairy? What's wrong with you damned liberals?

I'm assuming the tooth fairy will be next...

:)

[eridani]

101. Us libruls are NOT homophobic!

We loves us our fairies! God save our Kinks and Queens!

[Nevernose]

97. Gibson makes Reilly and Hannity look sane & rational by comparison

Jebus, but is that man crazy! The only other Faux news guy in his league of stupidity/insanity is that little midget guy they've got from the morning show.

Anyone else here his rant on how the Libby verdict illustrated the evilness of Joe Wilson? It was a thing of beauty; all I could think of afterward was the "Pyramus and Thisbe" play in A Midsummernight's Dream, except with a political context. Yes, that's right: I think John Gibson's stupidity is downright Shakespearean in its vileness.

[and-justice-for-all]

98. That is the dumdest shit I have heard.....

..well almost, the dumbest thing I have seen is sitting in the oval office. But this Easter (Estar) jeebus bullshit is bloody fucking rediculous. It is Fauxtainment at its best, reporting fake news to the socially impared for over a decade.

I think what Xtians need to do is acknowledge what the holiday really means and from where they STOLE it. xtians owe Pagans a huge fucking apology for stealing their holidays and then calling them their own.

Easter does not have anything to do with Xtianity, at all. Its a Pagan fertility holiday thats associated with Women and not jeebus...Xtians should not be celebrating any holiday since NONE of them are related to xtianity. They could however celebrate Jewish holidays, because after all jeebus was a Jew.

[NMMNG]

100. You can't make shit like this up,

But they can, and will, if it helps foster their persecution complex. :eyes:

[mmonk]

102. We don't have to. We're not nearly as good at it as they are anyway.

[Deja Q]

105. So what do gaudily colored marshmallow bits have anything to do with ressurecting out of a tomb?

Are we talking Easter, the reason? Or Easter the pagan influence? or Easter the corporate influence?

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

107. I am at war with Easter bunnies

I've captured a few, tried to make them talk by tearing them limb from limb (or ear from head).

Especially heinous is when I boil them in milk. Cruel, but delicious. Chocolate Hasenpfeffer (sp?). mmmm.

Bring it on, Easter Bunny!

:rofl:

[stonebone]

109. kick

[Warren DeMontague]

112. Uh, the eggs are a pagan symbol of fertility. The bunny is a pagan symbol of FUCKING.

While I'm all for the rampant, horny humping that springtime inevitably engenders in nature's many varied species, including our own, I wonder if Mr. Gibson understands exactly what is represented by the symbol he's trying to "save"?

[ripple]

114. LOL!

I'll never think of Easter the same way again. :rofl:

[Nikki Stone1]

113. What the hell? Are WalMart employees refusing to say "Happy Easter"?

Or has the candy industry caved into pressure and is only making Holiday Bunnies, Holiday peeps, and Holiday Eggs?

[proud patriot]

115. I'm close to Walnut Creek

We are all Laughing about this here .

[ComerPerro]

116. and once again, Stephen Colbert beats the real RW pundits to the punch, lol

Colbert is so good at what he does that he is on top of the Conservative talking points before most Conservatives are!