Deep Inside Kenneth Eng's Brain with His Unpublished Screenplay

[Ian David]

We've found the anthropomorphism responsible for the cosmic disruption. Animantis is beginning to control the universe.


Today's obscure literary treat comes to you from the media pundits' current favorite whipping-boy, Kenneth Eng, whose weridly racist columns in AsianWeek have everybody from Newsweek to CNN atwitter with liberal indignation. Recently Eng was on FOX show The Big Story with John Gibson, and made an explicit comparison between his racist op-ed pieces and his fantasy writing:

GIBSON: In your column you say, "I hate black people." In an earlier column you said you hate white people. You also said in an earlier column, evidently, I hate Asians. Now why is it you have, I mean, do you really believe that? You hate all those different people?

ENG: Well, I generally hate black and white people, but the Asian article was sarcastic. It's kind of like the sarcasm I had in my novel {Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate}, in which dragons slay tons and tons of humans. But this relates to - in the sense that dragons logically follow evolution so they would be able to wield metal.

Now that Eng puts it that way, it all makes sense. That's why it's important that you get my blow-by-blow review and recap of Eng's unpublished screenplay, Oth Dimension. An anonymous tipster sent it in to ToM, after getting a copy from a friend who was interning at a talent agency.

The tale is a simple one: an anthropomorphic praying mantis named Anamantis is a "cognitive insurgent" who lives shortly after the Big Bang in the early universe. Mostly, he goes around using his "cerebral fluid sword" to fight a bunch of monsters: the ultra-dimensional Darkaeons, Hera and Pegusus, and a dangerous fleet of space kittens. After teaming up with Shrodingo, Chaos and a comely lady dragon named Drakoness, he goes in search of ultimate knowledge and the 0th Dimension. Then he sort of merges with the universe, his neurons float everywhere, and he bonds his cerebral fluids with Drakoness (who responds by saying, "Whoa! Intelligence!"). There's nothing like a screenplay with stage directions like

"EXT. 0th DIMENSION" or "Animantis looks into {Drakoness'} eyes. He sees a world of frolicsome neurons inside her head" or "The felines jam a needle down the tarpan's penis."

Read below the fold for tons of choice quotes . . .

<snip>

Drakoness, Schrodingo and Megalodon look into Orion’s eyes. Inside, visions are visible.

More:
http://blog.wired.com/tableofmalcontents/2007/03/go_deep_inside_.html


See also:

The Narrative Stylings of "Kenneth Eng, God"

http://blog.wired.com/tableofmalcontents/2007/02/the_narrative_s.html

[xchrom]

1. ...

:freak: now it makes sense!