What's a daddy to do?

[The Straight Story]

Tonight I once again had to stop and think, and be sad, about this war. Not that we all don't daily, but sometimes, things just hit.

So anyway, tonight I made homemade noodles and chicken. My daughter loves homemade noodles.

After she ate I ran her a bath and went back to work (in my home office, adjacent to family room).

She gets done, comes down to my office, and asks if she can have some cookie crisp cereal. I tell her no, her teeth are brushed and she needs to lay down and watch her shows and unwind. She goes into family room where her toons are on, and laid down. Or so I thought.

A little while later (she is 6 this month btw) she walks in all smiling and looking cute as can be.

"Guess what I did daddy? I'm a big girl!" all smiles and proud

"what honey?"

"I poured the milk into my cereal bowl all by myself and did not make a mess, and I made a glass of chocolate milk and didn't make a mess either, I'm a big girl hunh?!" (She even put the milk and chocolate mix away)

I told her she did well and let it ride at that. Sigh. I couldn't just crush her about sneaking around and making her own cereal while I am busting hump to get some coding done. And she was just too cute.

So here I am, working at home, seeing my little girl each day. And then we have our troops - far away from home, in a war for oil (not something they signed up for), dying and getting maimed, etc, daily.

Those folks won't have the moments I had tonight with their kids. Mommy or daddy ain't coming home because they died or are in terrible pain in a hospital - while those that are profiting from this war are all snug at home with their massive profits sipping rum and watching their kids grow up.

And let's not forget those on the Iraqi side - their parents have been ripped from their homes, kids have died in bombing runs, and...well you get the picture and it ain't a pretty one.

So I let her slide on it, and even gave her a hug. Because in that moment that glint in her eye once again told me how lucky I am to be here seeing and holding her, and how much better off I am than those fucked over by bush's war.

To my little girl - you did good honey. I just hope daddy does as good in this world and leaves you something worthwhile to grow up and see. Not a planet ravaged by war, hunger, death, environmental hell, etc.

[brothernature]

1. You did the right thing....

Children shouldn't be disciplined, especially in matters concerning food.

Speaking of food, I hope you'll stop feeding her animal flesh. ;-)

[The Straight Story]

2. her favorite foods are

noodles, anything sour, deviled eggs, and rice.

She didn't eat the chicken :) I did. Though she loves ham and steak.

I ain't going vegan - when I die I won't have teeth so maybe then I will consider it :rofl:

[brothernature]

6. Everyone is on their own journey

Notice her predisposition against flesh? :-)

She is very cute and fortunate to be sheltered by her age from the horrible reality.

[jwirr]

3. She is beautiful.

[Colobo]

4. You are a great writer, a great father

A great person, and your daughter is not only too cute and beautiful... she's really a good girl. You rock, man.

Moments like this make me want to be a dad... :)

[The Straight Story]

5. Thanks - She is my 5th kid, only one in this marriage

And no matter how many you have - you learn something new with each one.

My oldest is 20. His mom (my X) died and he and his brothers are a mess over it. heartbreaking to me, and I didn't see them for 8 years - not by my choice.

There is nothing like having kids to ring your bell in a lot of areas. Been a dad since I was 21, I am 41 now.

I never knew I could love someone so much until I had a child. All my petty issues seemed to pale in comparison to what they needed from me. Never had the party life, etc, there was no time for that. Work, pay the bills, feed em, and make sure at the end of the day they had a good day even if mine was filled with stress and worry.

Kids are a wonderful thing - but man oh man can they pull on the heartstrings!

Thanks again for the kind words, much appreciated as I sit here tonight trying to finish up a huge project. I needed a break though and as usual came here to DU to find one.

[Colobo]

7. Wow

Sorry to hear about your ex passing away and the hardships you and your older kids are have have gone through.

There is a very short poem of José Martí (1853-1895), Cuba's greatest poet, patriot and one of Latin America's most respected literary and historical figures, that is called "A kid, out of his love" (Un niño, de su cariño), and it says (my translation, sorry):

"A kid, out of his love
gave me such a sincere kiss
that while dying, whenever I die,
I will feel the kid's kiss."

Your words reminded me of it. My respects to you, a hug to your daughter, and keep loving, sir... it's the only thing we truly have...

[The Straight Story]

8. That poem reminds me of something I have said many a times in my life

If I can grow old and lay on my death bed knowing that my kids grew up, were happy, and that they had the love they needed I could die a happy man.

As for my poems:
http://www.toddhowell.com/poems

Give me a shout and let me know what ya think.

[Colobo]

9. Thanks for the link, I appreciate it

I will definitely read them and give you feedback. Thanks again.

[Bucky]

10. You must take a firm hand with her and teach this disobedient child discipline.

This casual, rule-ignoring indulgence will probably lead directly to her becoming a drug addict.

[The Straight Story]

11. ROFL

man, if life were only such a simple formula. sadly, to some, it is....

[regnaD kciN]

12. "The Patriot's Dream"...

The songs of the wars are as old as the hills.
They cling like the rust on the cold steel that kills.
They tell of the boys who went down to the tracks
In a patriotic manner with the cold steel on their backs.

The patriot's dream is as old as the sky.
It lives in the lust of a cold callous lie.
Let's drink to the men who got caught by the chill
Of the patriotic fever and the cold steel that kills

The train pulled away on that glorious night..
The drummer got drunk and the bugler got tight
The boys in the back sang a song of good cheer
While riding off to glory in the spring of their years

The patriot's dream still lives on today.
It makes mothers weep and it makes lovers pray.
Let's drink to the men who got caught by the chill
Of the patriotic fever and the cold steel that kills

Well, there was a sad, sad lady
Weeping all night long.
She received a sad, sad message
From a voice on the telephone.
Her children were all sleeping
As she waited out the dawn.
How could she tell those children
That their father was shot down?
So she took them to her side that day,
And she told them one by one,
"Your father was a good man, ten thousand miles from home."

He tried to do his duty and it took him straight to hell.
He might be in some prison, I hope he's treated well.

Well, there was a young girl watching
In the early afternoon.
When she heard the name of someone
Who said he'd be home soon.
And she wondered how they got him,
But the papers did not tell.
There would be no sweet reunion,
There would be no wedding bells.
So she took herself into her room,
And she turned the bed sheets down,
And she cried into the silken folds of her new wedding gown.

He tried to do his duty and it took him straight to hell.
He might be in some prison, I hope he's treated well.

Well, there was an old man sitting
In his mansion on the hill.
And he thought of his good fortune
And the time he'd yet to kill.
Well, he called to his wife one day,
"Come sit with me awhile."
Then turning toward the sunset,
He smiled a wicked smile.
"Well, I'd like to say I'm sorry
For the sinful deeds I've done,
But let me first remind you, I'm a patriotic son."

They tried to do their duty and it took 'em straight to hell.
They might be in some prison, I hope they're treated well.

The songs of the wars are as old as the hills.
They cling like the rust on the cold steel that kills.
They tell of the boys who went down to the tracks
In a patriotic manner with the cold steel on their backs.

The train pulled away on that glorious night.
The drummer got drunk and the bugler got tight.
The boys in the back sang a song of good cheer
While riding off to glory in the spring of their years.

The patriot's dream still lives on today.
It makes mothers weep and it makes lovers pray.
Let's drink to the men who got caught by the chill
Of the patriotic fever and the cold steel that kills.

-- Gordon Lightfoot

Your post made me think of that song for the first time in decades.

[ninkasi]

13. She has her mother's hair, doesn't she?

This is my contribution to parent/child relations. Two years ago, on my birthday, my three kids surprised me with a gazebo...not made of wood, but the new ones, which are pretty much a big canopy, with decorative iron supports.
I was afraid that even with the three of them pitching in, it was too much.

This is what my daughter said. She told me that when she was still a toddler, one of her first memories was of her sitting on my lap during trips in the car. She says she remembers the feeling of comfort, and safety she felt when we were driving west, for example, and the sun was in our eyes.

She remembers me shielding her eyes with my hand, and then sinking back into sleep, feeling loved and protected. She told me that this birthday gift was her, and her brother's way of repaying me for placing my hand over their eyes, so that they would not be bothered by the sun. The birthday gift was her way of giving me shade, during the long, hot Texas summers.

I wonder how many children have been denied of one of their parent's comfort and love? How many Iraqi children have been seriously injured, and left orphans because of Bush's war? What is this war accomplishing, besides making Halliburton richer?

To those of us who are not part of the elite, all we want is a chance to provide for our families, and love each other. We do not require obscene profits, earned by the toil of others, or unlimited power to commit immoral deeds in order to perpetuate our greed. We only want to be left in peace, able to earn a living wage, and love and support each other.

Sad to say, the right-wing ignores our goals, and wishes to put in place a fascist government, where theocracy is clad in patriotism, and the elite wealthy escape with paying no taxes to fund they wish to put in place. I truly believe that the more conservative the person is, the more unbalanced he/she is.

[The Straight Story]

14. Beautifully put

and yes, she gets her hair from momma :)

[RevolutionStartsNow]

15. Adorable kid, great dad

I've been in similar situations with both of my kids and while sometimes the knee-jerk reacton is to be angry that they disobeyed, you are absolutely right that you are fortunate to have such a bright (and maybe a little mischevious?) kid.

My daughter was very strong-willed, since birth, and while there were times she was almost beyond our control (tantrums, etc.), I know now that her personality is just what it is. And now she is a (mostly) self-confident, self-assured and incredible teenager. She's still a pain sometimes, of course, but she's such an individual and so not a follower, which is one thing I love best about her. She's out in front of everything. So I give her a break when she does minor things wrong, and punish her only when she's done something that merits it (not every often).

Cherish the moments. You're a great dad.