Breaking: Jenna Bush Is Secretly Engaged!

[MADem]

http://celebrity.blogdig.net/archives/articles/March2007/13/Breaking__Jenna_Bush_Is_Secretly_Engaged_.html

In breaking unsubstantiated gossip, we're hearing that first daughter Jenna Bush is about to be secretly engaged to her longterm boyfriend (and onetime Karl Rove intern, Henry Hager). And, according to our tipster, you heard it here first, "even before the paparazzi breaks it!" Here's more about Jenna's (unconfirmed) weekend plans:

Jenna Bush is getting engaged this weekend?Henry Hager is on spring break and in South America visiting Jenna. His parents are coming this weekend and the Bushes' will be finishing up their South America tour and joining on their way back for the weekend....They want to get married on the ranch in Texas?.can you imagine the security at that event?

Screw the security, we're far too busy imagining the open bar! After all, Jenna always was the "wild child" of the Bush clan, and given her highly publicized drinking track record (which inspired such unforgettable headlines as "Jenna And Tonic") we can only hope they have enough free booze to satisfy Babs, W and the entire state of Texas. And after those freeflowing nuptials, we'll wager that George H. W. Bush won't be the only family member with a bad case of dehydration the next morning.

Let us be the first to wish you congratulations, Jenna. It seems like only yesterday that you were dirty-dancing with Fabian Basabe and now, suddenly, you're a buxom author on the eve of her (secret!( engagement. ..............

[Crunchy Frog]

1. One step ahead of the shotgun? n/t

[SoCalDem]

7. Shot gun?? Shot gun?? Quick Call Uncle Dick.. He's a crack shot:)

[blondeatlast]

31. Not quite. He cracks shots--or is it the other way around?Anyhoo, "crack" he ain't...

:rofl:

[Fridays Child]

33. Speaking of that, I always wondered if her "emergency appendectomy," in December of 2000...

...was really a quickie abortion. If you will recall, the Chimp couldn't even be persuaded to cut short his Florida vacation, to be at her bedside and, instead, left Pickles to deal with the situation all by her lonesome.

The whole thing just pinged my radar, for some reason.

[louis-t]

2. Who cares?

[judaspriestess]

9. I was going to say the same thing

but I was not in the mood for the politically correct police to start bashing me on not giving a shit and being just like the repukes, blah, blah, blah...

Thanks for saying it first

[MADem]

15. Notice this is GD, and not LBN....

I didn't consider it blazingly noteworthy either, just a tidbit.

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

23. YAWN!!!

I think I'll go clean my bathroom.

[terrya]

3. A White House wedding

Christ, they'll do anything to try to boost Bush's approval ratings.

[countingbluecars]

13. Yep, great PR move.

The people will be mesmerized.

[MADem]

17. Nope, it'll be a hoe down at the ranch, per the article. NT

[Occulus]

41. heh

Adding a comma gets you:

Nope, it'll be a hoe, down at the ranch, per the article. NT

:evilgrin:

[MADem]

49. I wasn't gonna do that, or dare to drop the odd E

...for fear of the EOP (Easily Offended Po-lice) crawling up my ass!!!!!

:evilgrin: :toast:

[Diane R]

4. Oh!!! I'm sure he's an ENLISTED man! Finally, a Bush family member in Iraq! LOL

[MADem]

18. Enlisted in the Rove Army, you mean... NT

[Subdivisions]

5. Yawn. She's planning a wedding while her contemporaries are

serving and dying in Iraq.

Blow me, Jenna.

[rurallib]

6. 'Spose Jenna showed Mom & Dad the motel she and Babs

got tossed from?
Anybody want to wager how many times Jenna's gonna be married?
Or shouldn't someone start a pool on when we'll hear the words "Jenna's filing for divorce" in the papers?

[SoCalDem]

8. Here's a pic of Henry

But I suppose THIS is the Henry Hager she's sweet on.

[liberalnurse]

11. Is she

knocked-up?:hide:

[shain from kane]

16. Knocked Up ---Dan Baird

Well I did not go to church last Sunday
'Cos my sins I need not confess
With your daddy standing at the pulpit
I just figured staying home was best

Your physique is swelling and your waistline's telling
Everybody knows that it's mine
I guess the word's got around this old one store town
And your preacher daddy, he ain't blind

Chorus) Well you got knocked up
And I got locked up
I guess you'd say that we both got screwed
Well you got locked out
And I got knocked out
And I guess you're gonna miss a lot of school

Well you looked a damn sight older
That night upon the hill
And if I'd knowed what I know well I would've let you go
But you said that you was on the pill

Well your uncle, he's the town sherriff
Your granddaddy he's the county judge
And I can't see a way that I'll see the light of day
With your whole family holding a grudge

Chorus) Well you got knocked up
And I got locked up
I guess you'd say that we both got screwed
Well you got locked out
And I got knocked out
And I guess you're gonna miss a lot of school

Well your family's got the shotgun ready
I can hear those church bells chime
Well I may not be ready for a wedding darling
But I know that I'm not ready to die!

Chorus) Well you got knocked up
And I got locked up
I guess you'd say that we both got screwed
Well you got locked out
And I got knocked out
And I guess you're gonna miss a lot of school
And I guess you're gonna miss a lot of school
And I guess you're gonna miss a lot of school

[Subdivisions]

22. No you didn't!!! I haven't heard that one for awhile. I was

a big Dan Baird and Georgia Satellites fan. I think I'll pull it up and have listen!

Thanks for the smile!

[bluedog]

14. here they are!

......... we did some Googling to find out what Henry's been up to. And it turns out that when he isn't visiting trendy watering holes with Jenna, he's a "Policy Analyst" at the Department of Commerce. I don't know exactly which policies he analyzes, but he does stand-in for his boss, Carlos Gutierrez (the Secretary of the Commerce) at meetings of the President's Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities.

And in a strange coincidence, Henry's dad John Hagar is also a member of this committee --but as we know, nepotism is so hated by the White House that it discloses CIA sources and methods to fight it, so we are sure that his father's position and connections have nothing to do with Henry's prestigious job or assignment.



http://blogs.salon.com/0002874/2005/11/08.html

[Gatchaman]

10. I wonder if this is going to be a "shotgun" wedding?

Wouldn't be surprised in the least.

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

25. There'll be a silencer on the shotgun

Jenna wants a quiet wedding.

[MountainLaurel]

30. If it is, the baby will be "early"

One of those 10-pound premature babies like my mom's cousin, born 7 months after her parents were married.

:rofl:

[shain from kane]

12. Hager and the Horrible.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C3%A4gar_the_Horrible

[MADem]

19. Actually, if Jenna had been president, we would have been better off.

Seriously.

Think about it.

Jello shots for everyone! Party till dawn!

[shain from kane]

20. Don't go down to the crossroads when you see Jenna drive,

Don't go down to the crossroads when you see Jenna drive,
If daughter is like mother, then you'll surely die.

[benddem]

21. they probably think

a big wedding will bring the shrubs ratings up. Just glad it won't be at the White House. Interesting though...I read somewhere the twins hated the ranch. * said he put in the pool to keep them from whining.

[Swamp Rat]

24. Jenna's secret fiance:

[helderheid]

26. From the Birdcage:

Louise Keeley: If necessary, we'll get the Pope's blessing, it's not hard!

[iamahaingttta]

27. Those people have been spending a lot of time in South America...

...lately. Haven't they? Buying aquifers in Paraguay, partying in Montevideo.

You know, I think the entire extended Bush clan would be more comfortable in South America! Maybe we should help them to live in proper ex-Nazi style in the South American capital of their choice? Asuncion may be the best choice, since they already own so much of the country. Maybe this what they already have in mind? They know that in a couple more years they won't be welcome here anymore? Should we encourage that?

Nah... I wouldn't wish that clan upon anyone. We'll have to find another way to rid ourselves of these vampires. Exile in Gilroy?

[MADem]

28. Gilroy--the GARLIC capital of the WORLD??? Heh heh...!!! NT

[AlCzervik]

34. you can smell Gilroy 10 miles before you get there.

[MADem]

37. I used to live in Monterey...I remember! NT

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

29. What a PR ploy! Who could hate Shrub if he's throwing a "royal" wedding?

:puke:

[AlCzervik]

32. while soldiers are being treated like shit at home, i'd say lots of people.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

39. The sociopaths think we're stupid and we forget. That's their political philosophy and

I bet they think a wedding would be another distraction to send our way. After all, there will be a blonde young woman involved...

[MADem]

52. He's likely not, though. It'll be some limited video, is my guess.

The RANCH is the venue because you can hear sirens AND chanters if you're standing in the Rose Garden. It's about the only place they can have the event without disruption from demonstrators, unless they go to the other ranch...in PARAGUAY.

It won't get the result that a live feed might--like the wedding of Di and that Big Eared Cruel Freak did.

Gee, who will make a bundle putting their faces on the tea towels?? That's the way it works in the UK!! Ashtrays, mugs, pins, teacups, tea towels....!!

[earth mom]

35. Rove Intern?! Can there be ANY doubt that Jennas a rethug just like the rest of em?!

Now maybe all her supporters around here will get a clue. :eyes:

[shain from kane]

36. Overheard: "Oh, Henry. You're better than The Three Musketeers."

[Skidmore]

38. It's a Rovian plot...

designed to knock ole Alberto off the front pages.

[Colobo]

40. Good for her. Congratulations.

[Ilsa]

42. A White House Wedding to save Daddy's legacy, I bet.

They'll have it in the Fall or next Spring when Shrub's numbers are at their lowest. MAybe we can impeach him before they pull off a wedding there.

Of course, the last WH wedding didn't help Nixon.

[MADem]

53. Not WH, though--RANCH. It won't play. NT

[Kerrytravelers]

43. A kkkarl rove intern. And connected to the WH through his father. What great taste she must have.

:eyes:

Well, at least when they look in the mirror, they have a pretty reflection staring back. They certainly don't have much else going for them as human beings.

[Decruiter]

44. Bless her Precious Little Heart. What else can anyone possibly say?

Best wishes, Jenna.

Jenna is doing better than Anna Nicole, IMHO, for whatever it is worth and that is not much.

GO AWAY BUSH FAMILY, please!

[kiwilover]

45. I'll Say Something

Don't Breed Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[upi402]

46. LOL

Republicans need a spay and neuter program until they can copulate responsibly and only for recreation.

Asses of evil.

[yurbud]

47. omigawd! has anyone told her yet? Or is she still passed out in a puddle of her own vomit?

[orleans]

48. blah...now they'll be spawning little devil repukes with fetal alcohol syndrome.

yuck!
:puke:

[ryanmuegge]

50. Engaged to a member of the Saudi Royal Family? I wonder what the wedding would be like.

[Virginia Dare]

51. Oh joy, a White House West Wedding...

the media will be kept very busy with this little tidbit, won't they?

[jaysunb]

54. A WH wedding =boosted poll #'s

for sure !

[ellisonz]

55. It's okay, I like the other one better anyways.

Gonna get me a shotgun weddin' down on ol'Crawford ranch!

:evilfrown:
:blush: