Karl Rove Purged In Drastic Republican Move

[Joanne98]

Karl Rove Purged In Drastic Republican Move
Written by Gnarly Erik
Story written: 13 March 2007

Rove Purged CATO Institute, Washington, DC. 3/13/07: Word has leaked out that CATO Institute president Edward Crane held a secret meeting with other high ranking Republicans today. The meeting was to announce an important revision in their organization, especially for moderate and middle of the road Republicans. "We recognized and have now dealt with what had developed into a chronic and severe problem for our party. Namely, one Karl Rove." Crane is reported to have said.

"Karl Rove became a malignant cancer which had to be exorcised and removed from any position of influence in the party." Crane said. "He is responsible for more damage to the party than anything in the past 100 years, beyond any doubt. If we had not acted now, the Republican Party was in danger of total disintegration."

Rove is blamed for policy failures across the board throughout the Bush II administration. "Of course it has not helped that the chief executive, namely George W. Bush, is such a malleable and miserable wuss Rove was able to play him like an out of tune violin." said Crane. "We had high hopes when Dubya went into office that we could guide and direct him in pursuit of the policies we held important for our doctrine and cause. Instead, he was quickly and totally corrupted by Rove into doing his own bidding. That's what can happen when you have a spineless, weak willed character with a marshmallow core like Dubya."

"Therefore, I felt it incumbent upon our group to recommend and move forward with the firmest action to correct the situation. That had to begin with getting rid of Rove. Immediately. Not next week, not tomorrow. But, today."

"That is why I recruited Vice President Dick Cheney to handle this problem instead of Bush the wuss. Say what you will about Dick Cheney. You may consider him just a reactionary, doctrinal old ogre with no redeeming qualities. But, that's not quite true because he does have one shining virtue. That crusty old bastard is not afraid to make an unpopular move - he's famous for doing so many, many times in the past. Cheney became the point man in this effort."

"And we had almost immediate results. All Dick had to do was take Rove quail hunting. Just the once. You wouldn't believe how quick and easy it was. After the undertaker got hold of Rove and cleaned him out you could fit the rest of him in a shoe box. I just wish we had thought to do this with Rumsfeld before he did all the damage he did."

"The only thing we have to do now is convince Dubya that Rove ran off with Scooter Libby. Since Scooter will be in jail and out of sight for the foreseeable future, we should be able to easily sell that to Dubya. And, that's one excellent reason we can never allow Scooter to be pardoned."

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i16094


:rofl:

[bridgit]

1. it's too late, rove *is* the republican party's death spiral...

[Raksha]

2. RATS!!! I thought it was for real!

I didn't realize it was a spoof until I got to about the second or third paragraph. It's what they would do if they had any brains at all, of course...but they don't.

[Joanne98]

4. LOL! Gotcha!....

O8)

[aquart]

5. Putting you on Ignore.

I find playing Gotcha with fellow Democrats to be singularly inappropriate.

[annabanana]

3. DAMN! That headline gave me palpitations.....

(sigh)