We are Republicans so you always know where we stand

[Bjorn Against]

As Republicans we are the party that believes in fiscal responsibility.

We believe the best way to manage this country’s finances is to build up the largest budget deficit in the history of the world.

We are pro-life.

We believe in the death penalty and dropping bombs on civilian neighborhoods in Iraq.

We know global warming is nothing to worry about because the Earth has been going through natural temperature cycles for millions of years.

The Bible proves to us that the Earth is really only 6,000 years old.

We are trying to stop the spread of Weapons of Mass Destruction around the world.

We need to build more Weapons of Mass Destruction for ourselves and also provide Israel with money to fund their nuclear program.

Someone who lies under oath about destroying the cover of a CIA agent looking into the nuclear program in Iran should be pardoned.

Someone who lies about a blowjob should be impeached.

We have consistently been making progress in Iraq.

If we don’t send tens of thousands of additional troops into Iraq the terrorists will win.

Abortion should be criminalized.

There is nothing wrong with Saipan forcing women working in their sweatshops to have abortions because the free market is helping those women.

Gay marriage could destroy the very fabric of our nation because homosexuality is a sin.

There is nothing wrong with the Republican Party covering up for a Congressman who was engaging in sexually explicit chats and setting up dates with underage boys.

We believe in small government.

We need to strengthen the power of the government to tap phones without a warrant and hold people prisoner without charges.

We support the troops.

We don’t think there is anything wrong with making wounded soldiers live in cockroach infested rooms and sleep in their own urine.

We are Republicans so you always know where we stand, we don’t flip flop like John Kerry does.

:sarcasm:

[magellan]

1. All true, all infuriating as ever.

Well done.

K&R

[Bjorn Against]

2. Well actually it's not all true...

But Republicans believe it is.