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Depression and the "Holiday Season."

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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 10:07 PM
Original message
Depression and the "Holiday Season."
I'll admit it. I suffer from depression and the upcoming season ALWAYS brings me down.

I take meds for it, see my shrink and told him today that I would rather have a root canal than go through this. Let me get this straight, I'm not ashamed of being diagnosed with depression, but I feel that I am still not too far off in the feelings of many when it comes to this season.I love my family, I love people.

BUT! The overwhelming sense that I can't do more than I am doing for them all brings me down.

So tell me, how do you feel about the upcoming two months of hell described as the two months of beauty and happiness by so many?
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PDJane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 10:10 PM
Response to Original message
1. Wrong person to give an opinion.........
This is my worst time of year, too, and yes, I'm a depressive too.

I almost always have a lowered immune system too, which means I get bronchitis somewhere between now and January 1.

I give what I can, do what I can, and try to stay away from toxic people during this period.....
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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 10:16 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Tell me about it.
Every damn year, I have some sort of cold/brochitis/pnuemonia.

I'm with you.
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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 11:23 PM
Response to Reply #1
14. Same here. I tend to be a hermit for the month
between Thanksgiving and Xmas. It's just too tough to be so out of step with the majority.
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AllieB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
2. For me it's the short days/lack of light.
I'm not particularly depressed during the holidays, but I do feel sluggish and sometimes sad from the darkness.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-16-08 01:11 AM
Response to Reply #2
23. Me, too. The lack of light really affects me. n/t
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Sarah Ibarruri Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 10:15 PM
Response to Original message
3. I've suffered depression before on the holidays...
... when my first ex and I split up, then my 2nd, etc.

I think also, some people have very little family, or NONE at all, and they get very very depressed on holidays when everyone is supposed to be someplace that looks like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting, lots of family, everyone loving everyone, everyone healthy, etc. So unreal. Life isn't that way is it?

There ought to be places where all good people that don't have much family could go spend Thanksgiving. Churches should all unite and for all their parishioners that don't have much family gather them together and have a big, huge Thanksgiving group go together to a restaurant, or celebrate a huge catered meal at some church on that day. (Each one paying their own you see). You know, a Thanksgiving dinner for people who aren't necessarily destitute but just don't have much family and would love to have a big, happy Thanksgiving.

Something like that.
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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 10:24 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. Dear Sarah,
We all have pasts we wish were different. And I feel that we all wish for something out of a Frank Capra movie or Norman Rockwell painting.

I spent last christmas with a homeless man that came up to panhandle a buck or two from me in the parking lot of a Costco last year. I bought him a five litre box of wine for christmas and it was a good one. I took him home and gave him a room.

Later on christmas day, I drove him out to the interstate so he could hitch a ride to god-knows-where.

Life is different for us all. And it is the same.

Believe in yourself.

All others will only tell you what you want to believe.

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Sarah Ibarruri Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 10:30 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. Thank you, Yeller Dog. That was very good of you to help someone else out on the holidays
I hope and pray that somehow this holiday a very warm, yummy, good feeling overcomes you and magic takes over, making you feel delightfully good.
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femmocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 10:18 PM
Response to Original message
5. "Two months of hell"--- a perfect description.
From Halloween till the decorations are packed away in January, I loathe the holidays. To get through it, I try to focus on what is really important like being with family and being thankful for our blessings.

The rest of it makes me grouchy, tired, cranky, and overwhelmed. I teach on the elementary level and the kids will be insane from now until it's over in January.

I actually love January because expectations are so low.
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KewlKat Donating Member (867 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
7. My earliest memories were happy ones but as I
grew and became aware of my mom's severe depression during "that time of the year" it began to take a toll on me too. I now really dread the holidays. I miss those who were close to me that have passed, the season has become so commercial, the stress and worry of what to buy for family, spending money you don't have, etc. A couple years what I found helped me was to go to the community center on thanksgiving and help serve meals to those who have less then me. I think I may do that again this year. Not sure how I'll celebrate xmas. We lost a 2 year old granddaughter unexpectedly last xmas day and I'm REALLY dreading the first anniversary of her death this year. I'm making memory quilts for all her siblings and her parents, but seeing all those images as I sew is making the depression come earlier this year. I know once before I expire I would like to enjoy the holidays but I somehow don't think it's going to be this year.
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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 10:37 PM
Response to Reply #7
12. Sweet, sweet Kewlkat.
There are many of us like you who have lost during this season and the seasons in-between.

Those memories and feelings are going to be with us forever. Your (my) depression will only make it worse for those around us. We do get selfish in wanting others to share our grief. We want others to understand the pain we feel. But they can't. It's too personal and we really shouldn't expect them to.

You will find the right things to do this season. If not, PM me and we'll work it out together.

Plus, unless you are Nostradamus, you have no idea what is coming.
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Fireweed247 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-16-08 01:32 AM
Response to Reply #7
24. Oh my god
:cry:
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lapfog_1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 10:28 PM
Response to Original message
8. F**k, reminds me... I need a root canal.
But I can't afford one. And that makes me depressed.
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ayeshahaqqiqa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 10:30 PM
Response to Original message
10. Unless you live in the Southern Hemisphere,
I would say the problem is, in part, the darkness of this time of year. If you suffer from depression, it can make it worse. I tend to make sure that I keep up my supplements and get my share of sunlight (for the Vitamin D).
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eleny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 10:30 PM
Response to Original message
11. I'd prefer to have a nice turkey dinner on Thanksgiving and go straight to January 2nd
I don't suffer with depression. And I enjoy a few decorations to perk up the darkness of the winter months. It can be cheerful. But it's the constant barrage of ads, music and expectations in the air that annoy me.

I'd rather a quiet time absent any religious and whacked out shopping infusions.
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RaleighNCDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 11:02 PM
Response to Original message
13. What saves me is the knowledge that those describing it as beauty and happiness
are lying.
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Golden Raisin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 11:28 PM
Response to Original message
15. Oh, you are certainly not alone.
I wish I could magically "fast forward" and skip the entire holiday season. It brings back memories of beloved family members who are dead and whose deaths sucked the joy and life out of Thanksgiving. The non-stop 24/7, in-your-face media barrage of forced jollity and inescapable commercialism doesn't help. Life isn't a Rockwell painting or Capra film for a lot of people. Holidays are for innocent children but can be very hard indeed for adults, especially adults suffering from depression.
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Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-15-08 11:53 PM
Response to Original message
16. I'm with ya. I swear, these short days and long nights make me feel like crap.
Edited on Sat Nov-15-08 11:57 PM by Odin2005
:hug:
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FirstLight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-16-08 12:09 AM
Response to Original message
17. I try to make it work, but it is like forcing myself out of my cave...
...My bday is Jan 1 and it has always been a bust, everyone always went away during xmas vacation during school years, and later my friends would all make plans and not invite me, because they all thought I would "have something planned" for my bday - so i would end up alone at home.

now as a single mom with 3 kids, I will probably get buzzed watching tv, eat something bad for me and go to bed early.

whoopee

I hate c-mas because I am broke and I always want to make it cool for the kids - and the grandparents and family are the ones who do it more justice. I wish I could do for them, but they know I don;t have much to offer. so that just makes it worse.

depression? Seasonal Affective Disorder? you betcha

add to this the "cellular memory" of the end of my last marriage being right about now (I left after my bday 5 years ago this year, very abusive, ran for our lives, etc) and the holidays just get better and better

I love the decorations and the smells and the lights and the songs, but they feel hollow for me these days
Wish I could be a kid again, ignorance is bliss...

:cry: dammit
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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-16-08 12:29 AM
Response to Reply #17
20. SAD sucks whether it's Seasonal or social.
And dammit, your story sounds so much like so many's. Mine as well.

Don't feel alone. There are many of us out here who not only understand but feel the same.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-16-08 12:10 AM
Response to Original message
18. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
endless october Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-16-08 12:18 AM
Response to Original message
19. i have OCD and depression.
the holidays are a bit rough sometimes. i'm hoping to make this holiday season better.

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TygrBright Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-16-08 01:04 AM
Response to Original message
21. I wish I had a solution. I have the same problem, and it gets worse every year.
The whole season creeps me out for many reasons. It exhausts me and depresses me. I just put my head down and grit my teeth and vow that I will survive this one more time.

I time my anti-depressant medication for peak annual dose in December. The people I love the most know about my feelings and are non-judgmental about it. Those things help a little.

But it remains miserable all the same.

I fantasize that someday I will be wealthy enough to spend the two months from November 15th to January 15th in some non-violent, non-Christian country.

wistfully,
Bright
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Shardik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-16-08 01:09 AM
Response to Reply #21
22. Hell, TygrBright, we all do.
Money situations have way to much to do with us here today than they should. The constant bombardment of buying expensive gifts plays a toll on us all.
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depakid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-16-08 01:46 AM
Response to Original message
25. I wonder how much of it is compounded by seasonal affective disorder
It's a very common thing to feel the blues- for a number of reasons in the in North America- I know I have. Curiously though, this will be my third holiday season in Australia- and I rarely ever hear the sorts of things from Aussies that I hear in the states.

Cultural differences aside, Christmas is in the summer- it's not dark & cold. It also coincides with the summer vacations- kids getting out of school or graduating. There's much less religion- and NO "war on Christmas" type thing.

All in all a more pleasant experience for many, it seems.
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roody Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-16-08 01:49 AM
Response to Original message
26. To me, every day is a holy day. I don't celebrate Xmas.
Every day of the year should be full of beauty and happiness, or at least joy for being alive.
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