Phoenix Driving Instructions

[Kali]

HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX, ARIZONA.

1. "Phoenix" actually consists of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, Mesa,
Gilbert, Glendale, and half of the Mexican border.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is
from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101,
Your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is
considered "Wussy".

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own
version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second.

However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have
the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's an offense that can get
you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved
around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to
make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, dogs,
barrels, cones, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, rabbits,
vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding
on any of these items.

9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same road.
SR202 is the same road as The Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and Olive are the same
street too. Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same
street. I-17 is also called The Black Canyon Freeway as well as The Veterans
Memorial Highway. The SR 51 has recently been renamed to Piestewa Freeway
because Squaw Peak Parkway was too easy to pronounce. SR 101 is also the
Pima FWY except west of I-17, which is also The Black Canyon FWY, and The
Veterans Memorial HWY. Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd. but,
Cactus Rd. doesn't become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead ends at a
mountain.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.

[Horse with no Name]

1. Ahhh now come on

It's not that bad is it? It is the same in most big cities.
When I was a teenager in Dallas, they started construction on Hwy 75. They finally finished it when I was 40 years old.
And THAT is not a joke.

[demobabe]

5. It is that bad

I lived there for eight years... left in 1993. It was a lot the same then, except that traffic has gotten worse.

The potholder comment, that originated from Erma Bombeck who lived there. It's very true. I never used the potholder, but developed a style of opening my car door with my index finger and thumb - VERY quickly.

The other tip about driving in Phoenix is that you MUST leave a window cracked, else you'll come back to find your back window blown out. Saw that a zillion times.

[Little Wing]

34. Why would the back window blow out?

[azmouse]

40. I've never seen that happen... ever.

[demobabe]

73. Then either...

...you haven't been there long enough, or they make cars better nowadays than when I lived there from 1984-1993.

[babylonsister]

61. Because it gets too hot? I saw that happen to Dad's car in NY

one summer. But I've never seen it here in TX, where it's a helluva lot hotter than NY. Defective Hondas, maybe?

[BlackVelvet04]

12. Phoenix is really pretty bad....

I lived in the D.C. area and if I had to choose between D.C. traffic and Phoenix traffic I think I would take D.C.

[Horse with no Name]

20. I was just there in December

It was similar to Dallas, Houston and Austin traffic. I didn't see much difference at all.

[BlackVelvet04]

25. Maybe it's a matter of perspective.....

when it's 115 degrees and there is construction everywhere one's patience is pretty thing.

[Horse with no Name]

30. Everyone's experience is uniquely theirs

I was born and raised in the Valley of the Sun and I am here to tell you...the heat we experience in Texas is just as intense as the heat out there. There isn't a lot of difference. When you have 102 actual degrees with 120 degree heat indexes...the difference is very small.
It tries your patience no matter where you are.

[BlackVelvet04]

47. When I first got to AZ

I truly wondered if everyone was stupid and then after experiencing the heat for 24 hours I realized that you have trouble thinking when it's that hot. Sometimes I felt like I was stoned and it was just the heat and dehydration.

When I drove to AZ I thought I was in the twilight zone passing through TX....it just went on and on and on and on. Damn, that's a big state!

[RagingInMiami]

2. The city of wide lanes and narrow minds

[azmouse]

17. Ahem... I live in the Phoenix area and I'm very liberal.

[RagingInMiami]

22. I lived in Tempe and worked in Phoenix for four years

And I know that liberals are in the minority

[azmouse]

28. Liberals can't be in the majority everywhere, even tho that would be nice.

I just don't think it's a nice thing to do to put down where people chose to live. I absolutely love living in the Phoenix area. It suits me perfectly. But I don't have to slam other areas of the country that I wouldn't want to live in just to make myself feel better.

[RagingInMiami]

36. I'm not slamming Phoenix to make myself feel better

I'm slamming Phoenix because I thought it was hell on earth.

It's nothing against you personally. I had some very good friends in Phoenix. Have some very nice memories. But being born and raised in Miami, I felt like a fish out of water in Phoenix.

But I got to meet Janet Napolitano, a very nice lady, and I'm impressed that they elected her. But there are far too many policy makers there that fall too right of the spectrum to me.

And it's not exactly like I live in a liberal paradise either. I not only live in Florida, which was under Jeb Bush's rule for eight years, I live in Miami, the most corrupt city in the country.

But that is one of the reasons I moved back after ten years of living away: To help reclaim my state and move it forward.

[BlackVelvet04]

52. I'd take Phoenix over Miami.....

no offense but the heat, humidity and palmeto bugs of Miami are much worse than the heat of Phoenix.

[RagingInMiami]

55. No offense taken

I know Miami is not for everybody.

[AZBlue]

66. We not only have Janet, we also defeated the anti-gay marriage amendment last year

by a decent margin.

It's historically a conservative state but it's slooooooowly getting more liberal. Nonetheless, I'm from the East Coast and would move back in a heartbeat if I could afford it!!

[Raven]

3. Ohhhh! Phoenix is lucky I'm in NH

on a dirt road in NH, no less. I would be road kill in Phoenix (and in Boston) by now. I drive the speed limit, use my turn signal, never honk and find every possible way to take the back roads everywhere. I am everybody's worst nightmare as a passenger...dashboard gripping, imaginary brake...the whole nine yards...I'm never leaving the woods!

[Sequoia]

4. Living in Phoenix

Dear Mom

>>May 30
>> Just moved to Phoenix. Now this is a city that knows how to live !
>> Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings, what a place! I watched
>> the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've
>> finally found my home. I love it here. June 14th
>> Really heating up, Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
>> air-conditioned home. .Drive an air-conditioned car... What a pleasure
>> to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
>> June 30th
>> Had the backyard landscaped with western plants. Lots of cactus and
>> rocks, what a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
>> scorcher today,
>> But I love it here.
>>
July 10th
>> The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used
>> to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy today. But getting
>> used to the heat and humidity is taking longer than expected.
>> July 15th
>> Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.
>> Missed 3 days of work, what a dumb to do, I learned my lesson though.
>> Got to respect the ol'sun in a climate like this.
>>
July 20th
>> I missed Tubbie (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
>> morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died
>> and swollen up to size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000
>> leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now
>> smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though.
>> No more pets in this heat.
>>
July 25th
>> The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's
>> hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC
>> repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order
>> parts.
>>
July30th
>> Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now, $1,500 in damn
>> house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
>>
Aug 4th
>> Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
>> $900 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this freaking humidity
>> makes the house feel like it's about 95. Stupid repairman, I hate this
>> stupid city.
>>
Aug 8th
>> If another wiseass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
>> strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is
>> boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat.
>>
Aug 9th
>> Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts and sat on the black
>> seats in the ol'car. I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers
>> of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car
>> smell like burnt hair, fried ass and baked cat.
>>
Aug 10th
>> The weather report might as well be a damn recording. "Hot and sunny"
>> "Hot and sunny" "Hot and sunny" It's been too hot for 2 damn months
>> and the weatherman says it might warm up next week. Doesn't it ever
>> rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $1,700
>> worth of cactus just might dry up and blow into the damn pool. Even
>> the cactus can't live in this heat!
>>
Aug14th
>> Welcome to HELL ! Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to crack the
>> window and blew the windshield out of the car. The installer came to
>> fix it and said,
>> '' Hot enough for you today?'' My wife had to spend the $1,500 house
>> payment to bail me out of jail. Freaking Arizona! What kind of a sick
>> demented idiot would want to live here?

[RagingInMiami]

7. "But it's a dry heat"

After living there four years, I got to the point where I wanted to slug the next person who told me that.

Give me Miami's humidity over Phoenix's dry heat any day.

[demobabe]

10. It's a dry heat until the monsoon season

Then 25% humidity makes it feel like it's 160 degrees.

And if you have a swamp cooler, your house stops cooling off and just feels like a swamp instead.

But I like Arizona. Really, I do! Just some times better than others!

[Kali]

14. Phoenix is not DRY. Between all the golf courses and fake lakes

it's pretty humid. Tucson is much drier - at least until the July or August monsoons hit.

[RagingInMiami]

24. Phoenix is very dry

I lived in Tucson for a year and at least in Tucson, it cools down at night. But in Phoenix, because of all the asphalt -- and the wide lanes -- it will not drop below 100 during the summer months.

[AZBlue]

67. And don't forget all the swimming pools.

The humidity levels still aren't near the East Coasts' and other parts of the country, but they are rising and combined with 100-120 degree temperatures, they are brutal.

[BlackVelvet04]

16. I got so sick of hearing that

when I lived in AZ. I started telling people to turn the oven on to 115-120 degrees and stick their head in and see how it feels.

I liked living in Tubac better....much cooler. It rarely got over 105. :-)

[Warpy]

19. NM is a lot hotter than Boston

because when it gets hot in May, it stays hot until late September.

The dry heat does make a big difference, though. Back home I used to stick to everything I touched or leaned up against on those lovely 90+ days with 90+ humidity. Here I don't stick, the sweat just evaporates.

Besides, it's nice to eat crisp potato chips the next day if I've screwed up and not closed the bag tightly enough.

When I left Boston, Tucson was on my list but Phoenix was not. I can tolerate dry heat but enough is enough.

[BlackVelvet04]

53. I drove through NM and if I could have

afforded it I would have stopped and stayed there. It is BEAUTIFUL!

[AZBlue]

8. It's only March and it's already hit 97 degrees.

I can not for the life of me remember why I moved here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[demobabe]

13. You're lucky

It usually hits 100 by March.

[AZBlue]

18. They say it will by the end of the month.

Should make July and August really fun this year!

[demobabe]

23. Oh, it will...

And then it will stay that way until the end of October.

But here's one secret: by 9 pm, it's absolutely BEAUTIFUL outside. I used to love going over to the public racketball courts and playing racketball while the park was still open. I adapted to summer months by becoming mostly nocturnal... went to bed at 3 am, got up at noon. Since I worked for newspapers, the schedule worked out well.

[Kali]

15. hee hee

[AZBlue]

6. HAHAHA!! This is so accurate!

eom

[meldroc]

9. Reminds me of when I visited Texas.

Every time I stepped out of the hotel, it felt like I was walking into a blast furnace. And this was just May - "only" 95 degrees out.

[ThoughtCriminal]

11. On Loop 101, ...

"Your speed is expected to match the highway number" or outside temperature, whichever is greater. (MPH = degrees F)

[azmouse]

21. This whole thread is flame bait.

I love living in AZ. We are NOT a bunch of idiot rednecks. Thank you very much.

I've lived in CA and PA and have seen drivers are all pretty much the same... lousy.

I don't want to live anywhere else. Yes it gets hot here and so what!! It gets cold and icy and all around miserable in other areas of the country and people still live there.

Get over it!!

[RagingInMiami]

26. The drivers are much worse in Miami

If that makes you feel any better.

But Arizona is why I appreciate Miami, despite all its drawbacks.

[BlackVelvet04]

29. Do they still have the

bumper stickers "Pray for me I drive River Road?"

(At least I think it was River Road....it's been 25 years.) I agree Miami traffic is pretty bad.

[azmouse]

38. I doubt the drivers are any different from any other area.

Everybody thinks it's the worst where they live.

I'm glad you like Miami and have found any area you appreciate.
The humidity and winter weather I dealt with in PA help me to appreciate AZ more. I don't have any problem with people who want to live somewhere other than AZ if the heat doesn't suit them. I just get real tired of being put down because I have chosen of my own free will to live here. I'm not in any way saying AZ is a paradise (unless Hell is one too) but it's no worse than other parts of the country.

After all we are all Americans.

[RagingInMiami]

50. Miami has the rudest drivers

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/05/16/national/main1622304.shtml

[BlackVelvet04]

27. I loved living in the area of AZ I last lived in

but I hated Phoenix. But, then again, I hate all big cities. AZ is a beautiful state that I miss quite a bit, BUT I don't miss the 115 degree heat.

[azmouse]

32. Not every area is right for every person.

I'm happy that you found an area that you like. :hi:

[BlackVelvet04]

43. I really miss it....

but all my family is here in VA and my parents are elderly so I'm needed here. Maybe one day I will get back to AZ. I've lived there 3 times.

Do you know Mt. Lemmon in Tucson? That's my favorite place in AZ. I cried a couple of years ago when I read about the fire that destroyed much of Mt. Lemmon.

[azmouse]

45. I lived in Tucson for 6.5 yrs.

It's a beautiful part of AZ. They embrace the desert more than Phoenix.
It's sad about the fire on Mt Lemmon. I haven't been there since but I here that a lot of the town of Summer Haven has been rebuilt.

[BlackVelvet04]

48. I wonder if they rebuilt the Mt. Lemmon Restaurant

that served the cakes and pies that were out of this world. We used to drive from Tubac to Mt. Lemmon for breakfast just for the smoked bacon that they smoked themselves and to buy a pie. Oh, and we usually had a drink or two at the lodge. I'm glad to hear they rebuilt most of the town. It was an old hippies' haven.

[demobabe]

31. Oh no... you have to have a sense of humor living in Phoenix

Nobody is saying Phoenix is full of rednecks. Anyone who's been around knows it's a unique place, and often votes quite liberally. But there are some interesting politics there at times.

And the drivers there aren't really any worse, but the accident rate is. That's why it's so expensive to be insured there. When I lived there, it was the #1 place for accidents, and it's clear to see why. High speed on many roads, and those killer left turns on all the major streets. It's just that way.

But you have to have a sense of humor about the heat - yes, it is hot in Phoenix, and humor is a way of coping.

Lighten up and go fry an egg on the sidewalk. ;)

[azmouse]

33. When the heat really sets in here

all residents get the feeling of "we're all in this together"... I'm sure it's much like people do who live in very cold areas.

Yes, I do have a sense of humor about my area of the country. What I don't like are people who obviously hate this area and feel they have to put it down. I'm not saying that's what you did, but I've heard this all so much before about AZ that it just gets really old.

[demobabe]

72. many folks are quick to judge

Plenty of people are quick to judge Arizona based on the heat and terrain... it isn't for everybody. What has always amazed me most about Arizona is how much life there is in the desert, and how incredibly beautiful the state is. I've heard a million times while driving in the southern half of the state, "there's nothing out there!" - but they're so wrong... If you go INTO the desert and look close, you'll see some of the most amazing creatures and see plant life of so many varieties. Trouble with Phoenix is that it's all bulldozer scraped and all that life gone.

There are so many incredible adventures to be had offroad in Arizona - I can't recommend it enough. Good time to do it is when it's hot - that way the rattlesnakes aren't out. There are benefits to heat!

[Kali]

71. Born in Flagstaff, raised in north Tempe, now living on the ranch

homesteaded by my great-grandfather. Sorta felt like I had a right to post a HUMOROUS e-mail joke I received today. From my sister. Who lives in Tempe. And works in downtown Phx.

Of course I recognize your right to get all defensive and take it way too seriously, but that certainly wasn't MY intention.

[sam sarrha]

35. in texas the driving manual says Pedistrians in the CrossWalk have the right of way, if pedisterians

are not in the crossWalk try not to hit them.

[Matariki]

37. The worst year of my life

Phoenix, 1983/84

The cockroaches are huge, AND THEY FLY.

My (ex)husband had the word 'fag' shouted at him at least once a day.

The 'swamp cooler' they had where I worked didn't do shit in August - sort of the other end of the scale of working in a factory w/ no heat in January in Chicago.

Then there was the 2nd degree burns from swimming for a couple hours in October, literally couldn't stand for a week.
People actually sunbathe in August. (I think they evaporate the fluid around their brains or something - i would explain some things).

And the guys walking around with pistols on their belts or rifles slung over their backs. Guess they fancied themselves cowboys.

People buy their firearms, ammo, whiskey, & groceries ALL AT THE SAME STORE

The favorite passtime seemed to be driving out to the desert with a 'half rack' of beer, in those damned jacked up trucks which get about 5 miles to the gallon, to shoot the arms off hundred year old cactus.

Drive though liquor stores for the drinking and driving crowd.

I heard on more than on occasion that shooting heads of cabbage "feels like the 'real thing'" !?


What a horrid place. If you live there, hats off to you, you got way more fortitude than me.

[azmouse]

39. Thanks for all the stereotypes.

Geez... :eyes: I'm sure you live in a paradise.

[Matariki]

44. That was my experience when I lived there.

I didn't make any of it up. It WAS cartoonish. Probably if I had stayed longer I would have met interesting people, but I couldn't stand the heat or the culture. And it might be different now than it was in the mid 80's. I came from a place with lots of art and a great music scene and at the time I lived in Phoenix I couldn't find anything going on culturally that was of interest.

[Matariki]

46. oh, ps.

actually I do live in paradise, comparatively speaking. I live in Seattle. Trees, water, liberals. Good stuff.

[azmouse]

49. I'm happy you've found what makes you happy.

Just don't put down the area I live when it's been 20 yrs since you've been here.

A lot has changed.

Golly, we even have new-fangled indoor toilets now and we might get electricity soon. :silly:

[Miss Chybil]

56. And the Rembrandt collection is in town. I hope nobody drives by and spits

a wad of tabacky on it. /sarcasm

Humph! Maybe, I should tell kineta how I found life in Seattle back in 1986. I'm sure my experiences are reflective of the entire city and population.

[azmouse]

57. He's one a them painter fellas, ain't he?

Yep, I understand what you're saying. I live in the west valley too. I've owned a house here since 1991. I love the Phoenix area BECAUSE OF not, in spite of, all it's quirks.

Sure it's hot here. We adjust our schedules in the summer and deal with it just the way people in cold areas adjust their schedules in the winter and deal with it.

I'm glad you've found it nice here too. :hi:

[Matariki]

59. I lived in Seattle in 1986. The art scene sucked but the music scene was in it's heyday

[Miss Chybil]

54. I think you must have watched too much t.v. while you were here.

Either that, or your plastering all of us with the mantle of a few. Gosh, if you did that to somebody because of the color of their skin there would be quite an uproar over it, wouldn't there? Glad you could visit. Maybe, next you can tell us what it's like in your state.

[Matariki]

60. So, are those 2 story, gas guzzling trucks still popular there?

Arizona is the only place I've ever seen them. Oh and can you still buy guns and ammo along with your lettuce at the local Safeway?

I do remember seeing a lot of bronze 'bucking bronco' and cowboy statues in all those Scottsdale gallerys...

My state has 2 Democratic Senators and a Democratic Governor - all women. Eat your heart out :P

[AZBlue]

68. Hey we do have a Dem female gov - one who's been mentioned as a possible Pres candidate!

In the national press even!

I'm not from Arizona and it's not my favorite place, but it has really changed over the years. When I moved here in '91 I cried for days. But I am from NYC and then lived in D.C., so it was a bit of a culture shock for me.

I still don't plan on retiring here, let's put it that way - but there's a lot more variety in the culture here than there used to be. I will admit, when I first got here if you did't like rodeos (which I hate), country music (ditto) or southwestern art (not my thing), you were a little out of place. But the city's really grown, physically, mentally and culturally in the last 16 years.

[treestar]

41. The most aggressive drivers are in Pennsylvania

They even have signs on the road, saying "Beware Aggressive Drivers." No joke. They on on the yellow triangle.

[Hawkeye-X]

42. Having lived in Tucson for a year

I can definetely relate to that.

I'm back at my roots. :)

[Miss Chybil]

51. ROFLMAO! Thanks for number 9! I was born in Phoenix and I still

can't figure out what all the freeways are called. I keep thinking people from New York come here, get jobs as newscasters and make up new freeway names every few years just to f* with the natives!

I don't really agree with number 4. I always go first and I don't have an SUV. I have a small P/U and I live in the West Valley. The rest is pretty spot on! LOL!!!

[AZBlue]

58. And what about the fact that there are two 202s????!?

WTF??

[KharmaTrain]

62. Thanks For The Tips...

I'm on my way to Sky Harbor...and needed the refresher.

Cheers...

:hi:

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

63. I don't get it.

You complain about rush hour, but also complain about people driving too fast? And in the fast lane?

[Kali]

74. I didn't write it - it is one of those e-mail jokes

Besides I could never have gotten the freeway names/numbers anywhere close! :rofl:

[MindPilot]

64. There is one of these list for every major city...

Personally my worst driving encounters have been Miami-Ft Lauderdale area. I saw more crashes between the airport and the hotel than I have in 20+ years of plying CA freeways. I was particularly amused by the fact they actually have to have signs that say "Remove disabled vehicles from traffic lanes." And can anyone from that area tell me why the roads all seem to have three different names?

[RagingInMiami]

69. Problem is, no body removes the disabled vehicles from the road

So it just ties up traffic even more.

Most Miami streets have numerical names, but many of the major streets have proper names. Like Bird Road is 40th Street and Coral Way is 24th Street and Sunset Road is 72nd Street and Red Road is 57th Avenue and LeJeune Road is 42nd Avenue and Douglas Road is 37th Avenue.

Sometimes, they name segments of these roads after some historical or powerful Cuban, thanks to the majority of Cubans that sit on the County or City Commission. But nobody ever refers to these streets by those names. Nobody.

Most people call these streets by their proper names rather than their numerical names.

[A HERETIC I AM]

65. Phoenix driving joke....

A Trooper pulls over a car doing 10 MPH in the middle lane of the freeway.
The officer walks up and finds the driver is a typical little old lady and she has 3 obviously terrified passengers in the back seat.
The officer asks her why she was driving so slow.
"Well young man, it says right there that the speed limit is 10 MPH"
"NO NO madam, this is INTERSTATE 10. The speed limit on this section is sixty five miles per hour."
"OOOOOOH...I see. Well, thank you very much for clearing that up for me, officer"
The cop, again noticing the apparent frightened demeanor of her passengers asks, "Ma'am, are your friends alright? Do you need to take them to the hospital?"
"Oh no", she says. "They'll be fine. We just came off the 101."

My best friends in the world live in Peoria. Yeah, it gets hot as hell in the summer but i like Phoenix.
Great place to golf in January.

[Ptah]

70. Thank you, Kali, for reminding why I like Tucson.

you are a hoot!

:thumbsup:

[Lilith Velkor]

75. Piestewa Freeway is named after the first woman killed in Gulf War 2.0

And, um...squaw is a racial slur.

Otherwise, this is funny as hell. :thumbsup:

[achtung_circus]

76. Squaw is a slur in some contexts

in Algonquin it means simply "young woman".

[MadHound]

77. Yup, sounds about like most major urban areas I've driven in

And one huge reason that I live in the country. My commute is on a backroad, two lane blacktop, and the worst traffic hazard are deer jumping out in front of you, the occaisional wandering livestock, and the dog that will chase anything on two wheels.

Even though I grew up in a small city, I find as I grow older my tolerance for compact urban landscape has decreased almost exponetially. Traffic is one of the major reasons, along with the smell, the crush of people, etc. etc.