OMG! Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Confesses: “I Killed Jesus!”

[Jcrowley]

Faux Fair-and-Balanced News Flash:


The confessed “mastermind” of the 9/11 attacks—“from A to Zed”—Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (KSM) has now confessed to scores of other crimes committed over the past two millennia.


Appearing distraught, head bloody and bowed, wearing the same t-shirt he has worn since his capture in Pakistan four years ago, with disgusting back and body hair even more unkempt than before, KSM’s new confessions have come fast and furious during a special hearing to determine the Sheik’s status as an “enemy combatant.”


In a shocking revelation, KSM described how, in a previous lifetime, incarnated in the body of Judas, he betrayed Jesus with a kiss on the cheek in the Garden of Gethsemane. “I knew what I was doing,” the Sheikh admitted. “You think I did it for 30 pieces of silver?” he spat contemptuously. “I knew what would happen. I had bigger objectives!”


Skipping through time, and rambling, the Sheikh admitted being Jack the Ripper in the 19th Century. “I got carried away,” he said sheepishly. “I really like women, and afterwards I felt sorry about it, and tried to stop. But it was like Al Pacino said in that bad Godfather movie: Everytime I tried to get out of it, they kept pulling me back!” (Here the Sheikh rendered a rather poor imitation of Mr. Pacino.)

http://civillibertarian.blogspot.com/2007/03/khalid-sheikh-mohammed-confesses-i.html

[CrazyOrangeCat]

1. !

:rofl:

(I do hope they've issued him another T-shirt. And at least offered to shave his back . . .)

[AlCzervik]

2. yeah he looks like a real self starter, a real go getter.

[Oldtimeralso]

4. Take it easy on him

They woke him up at the crack of noon.

[JackRiddler]

3. I think this will interest you...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x437478