Greta Van SusterenFrom Dickipedia - A Wiki of Dicks Greta Van Susteren (born June 11, 1954) is a lawyer turned journalist, journalist turned TV personality, TV personality turned babbling idiot in the presence of a barracuda, and a dick. She is also one of the leading causes of Palinitis, an inflammatory condition in which the sufferer just cannot seem to rid his or her consciousness of a certain northern governor with a penchant for Manolos and moose chili. Symptoms include general irritation, intestinal discomfort, and the sudden urge to go out and buy a pair of rimless glasses. As of yet, no known cure exists.
Greta Van Susteren currently appears on the Fox News Channel. That fact alone is enough to make her a dick. In legal terms, this is referred to as dick ipsa loquitir, or “the dick speaks for itself.”
In her capacity as host of On the Record, Van Susteren’s primary focus is keeping Americans fully up to date on every detail of every attractive young woman who goes missing in Aruba or runs for Vice President.
No matter how much plastic surgery Greta Van Susteren receives, as far as cute cable news anchorwomen go, she’s no Paula Zahn. She’s not even Dana Bash. James Carville dressed in drag might give her a run for her money.
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