"You Will Pay For Your Insolence. You! And One Day Your Heirs!"

[Ichingcarpenter]

CHICAGO (AP) -- A furious General Zod lashed out at American voters Wednesday following Obama Barack's election to the Presidency.

"I come to you tonight to settle an account," said an enraged General Zod at his campaign headquarters, the Pump & Munch Diner in the Black Hills of South Dakota. Eyeing a jukebox playing Average White Band's "Pick Up The Pieces", Zod lifted the jukebox and hurled it across the room, frightening the 70 press members in attendance. The room fell into silence.

"You! You have proven to me, all of you," he said, sweeping a trembling finger across the room, "to be traitors. I was to step before you in January and become your new President. All I asked for was your allegiance! And all you own! All that defines you and your petty lifestyles! But I see before me that you have cast 65 million votes for this idol Obama and 55 million votes for the warlord McCain.

"Consider those incredible votes for McCain. Look how quickly he accepted defeat. That from a former Navy officer. Unconscionable. You apostates voted for this man! And look at how Obama was up there talking about a puppy for the White House, when there is a wrecked economy to plunder and half our military fighting force overseas that could be brought back home for police duty. I would rather have the 1st Brigade Combat Team in Gainesville searching homes for illegally hoarded gold than doing guard duty in Iraq."

The maddened candidate, a former military leader on the planet Krypton, cast a savage look at the press corps. "I do not take treachery lightly. There shall be, shall we say, investigations in each of the states. There will be, shall way say, a recount in each county. There will be, shall we say, a private conversation with certain county commissioners."

"Eighty two votes you have given me. Insolence!" Grabbing a C-SPAN television camera, Zod peered into it and addressed the viewers. "America! You do not disregard your generals! You shall kneel before me," said Zod. "One day you, and then your heirs!"
Zod's plans are unknown at this time.

http://zod2008.com/

[baldguy]

1. Jeez... Not another perennial single issue candidate!

[Ichingcarpenter]

2. Zod's Campaign Platform Covered Universal health care, the Iraq War and Corporate Reform

I do not take orders. I give them. Congress shall no longer have the ability to impeach me or override my decisions, and the Supreme Court shall not meddle in government affairs.
Your freedom will be expanded. You will be even more free to give your money and lives to me, and to be my eternal subjects.

Eliminate the Iraq War. The Iraq War has shifted $187 billion to the defense industry. How is this "defense industry" to kneel before me? Are my praises to be sung as footnotes in their paperwork? You will stop giving these corporations your wealth. I suggest you put the money into your own schools and health care, so that I may have intelligent, healthy servants. I will indulge your wishes if you all want a Westernized, unpopular regime in Iraq, and I too shall gloat in its troubles, but it will not be done at my expense.

Universal health care. Even a criminal like myself is shocked that millions are not able to get health insurance and cannot pay for basic surgery. Who are these power brokers that allow the pigpen to become wormy and filthy? I demand your very lives, but I am not such an imbecile as to institutionalize suffering and poverty. You have my assurance that this shall change swiftly.

Corporate reform. You people have become disgusting minions to these things you call "corporations". These things take your money and your land, put you into debt, send your jobs overseas, provide you with unsafe foods, and sue you when you say anything bad about them. Yet you people fatten them up at the ballot box. You give them free land, name your stadiums after them, allow them to telemarket you, and even sacrifice your own bankruptcy protections. Quite frankly it astonishes me. I will break this sickly codependency. It is I who shall be your ruler. I shall empower you with wealth to give me as tribute. A corporation cannot bow to me or give me tribute that comes from the heart.

You will buy U.S. made items. Why do you buy Chinese-made items when you know that it sells out the jobs of your family and friends? How will you buy those cheap things when you have no job? You are sending my wealth and tribute to foreign lands. I will not tolerate this.


Funny this platform was written back in the spring.

[backscatter712]

3. KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!! n/t

[sam sarrha]

4. "Pump & Munch Diner...."

:pals: :rofl:

[Goat or Panic]

5. When I first saw Superman.

I thought Zod said: "One day you, and then your ass!"

Just a random thought.

[nadinbrzezinski]

6. Planet Krypton? For god sakes now the USSC would HAVE a

solid case....

Natural born does not apply to Krypton

:-)