George W. Bush's Top Ten Lesser Achievements

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http://welcomebacktopottersville.blogspot.com/2008/12/george-w-bushs-top-ten-lesser.html

George W. Bush's Top Ten Lesser Achievements

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The White House has issued "speech toppers", or talking points that glowingly sum up President George W. Bush's eight year-long legacy. Among the talking points:

# He kept the American people safe after 9/11

# Lifting the economy after 2001 through tax cuts

# Curbed AIDS in Africa

# Maintained the honor and the dignity of his office.


However, the memo to Cabinet officials also lauded President Bush's other, lesser-known but still significant accomplishments. What were they?

# 10) Almost completely kept the Presidential golf cart out of the salad bar of the Congressional cafeteria.

# 9) In 2002, killed, buried and replaced Nancy Pelosi with converted love doll.

# 8) Got back on the horse and conquered a soft pretzel liberally dipped with Jack Daniels.

# 7) Replaced AIDS in Africa with less time- and money-intensive life-threatening diseases.

# 6) Using his Presidential prerogative, limited vulture fund managers to taking Third World Nations to court for money only, thereby abolishing the 2003 Human Slavery clause.

# 5) Successfully resisted urge to replace former FEMA director Michael Brown with the skeleton of the Elephant Man to see if anyone would notice.

# 4) In 2008, asked the petroleum cartels to bail out the federal government to pay off the bailouts of everyone else.

# 3) Forbade tobacco chewing during state dinner honoring Queen Elizabeth II.

# 2) Once played GEARS OF WAR 3 for 36 straight hours, which inspired a strategy dealing with Iran.

# 1) Allowed himself to be talked out of lobbing baseballs at the big red button at the Pentagon.