Orgasms During Childbirth?

[Cash_thatswhatiwant]

First thing next month (Friday January 2) will be the primetime debut of a film that has been making the “under the radar” rounds of women and film festivals since May. ABC’s 20/20 will air the documentary “Orgasmic Birth”, by Debra Pascali-Bonaro, a childbirth educator and a doula, which asks the question: What would happen if women were taught to enjoy birth rather than endure it?

Some women will see this film as a declaration of emancipation from the medicalization of childbirth. Others will see it as yet one more way to raise expectations and make new mothers feel inadequate if they do not experience the “ideal” birth.

The message of the film is “that women can journey through labor and birth in all different ways. And there are a lot more options out there, to make this a positive and pleasurable experience,” Pascali-Bonaro tells ABC. “I hope women watching and men watching don’t feel that what we’re saying is every woman should have an orgasmic birth.”

But the title certainly catches attention, referring to what Pascali-Bonaro calls “the best kept secret” of child birth – that some women report having an orgasm as the baby exits the birth canal.

Tamra Larter experienced that while Pascali-Bonaro’s cameras were rolling. She and her husband, Simon, opted to have their second child in their suburban New Jersey home, and through most of the hours of labor the couple was kissing and caressing.

“The phyical touch and nurturing was just really comforting to me,” Larter told ABC. Of the orgasmic birth that resulted she said: “It was happening, and I could hardly breathe, and it was like, ‘oh, that feels good.’ That’s all I could say really.”

Christine Northrup, an OB-GYN and author of “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom” explains in the film that orgasms during labor are the results of chemistry and anatomy: “When the baby’s coming down the birth canal, remember, it’s going through the exact same positions as something going in, the penis going into the vagina, to cause an orgasm. And labor itself is associated with a huge hormonal change in the body, way more prolactin, way more oxytocin, way more beta-endorphins — these are the molecules of ecstasy.”

And on that note I open up the comments for your thoughts …

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/11/orgasms-during-childbirth/?hp

[ogneopasno]

1. Frankly, who gives a shit? The only thing that bugs me about it is that it might make some women

feel like they've failed if they don't have an orgasm. If some women do, who cares? Go them! If they don't, who cares? It's birth. Big deal. Then there's a baby. Unfortunately, this thread will get a lot of responses and gratuitous "This thread is useless without pictures! Woof!" posts. Whew, now I feel better.

[gratuitous]

17. I hardly ever post that!

But, that being said . . .

[qwertyMike]

76. The same muscles are involved

in Orgasm and birth - or so we were told at the pre-natal class.
My wife and I were boinking abot 6 hours before our first child was born

Whats the big fuss contained in the OP?
Jeez some women orgasm during breastfeeding

So some women orgasm during childbirth, it's common knowledge.

[lligrd]

2. Well, There Are People Who Enjoy Pain During Sex

Somehow, I don't think most of us fall into that category.

[OnceUponTimeOnTheNet]

26. If a woman is having multiple orgasms, she might not feel any pain.

Everything is pleasure.
:smoke:

Joy of Sex book even states this.

[ensho]

106. baloney - the Joy of Sex bk. is also baloney

nt

[Marrah_G]

72. Birth isn't "that" kind of pain though

Birth is more like an "seriously, i'd rather you amputate a limb" type of pain.

:rofl:

[JerseygirlCT]

99. Exactly!

Nothing like it, really. Thank goodness, nature seems to take away the physical memory of it - you remember it intellectually, but not necessarily physically.

I just remember with my first being damned relieved that he was finally out. And thoroughly exhausted. No big emotional heartstrings stuff right away. Just "get that child out of me NOW!" and then "thank goodness".

Falling in love took a little while.

[Marrah_G]

101. That s so true

They need to teach THAT to expectant mothers. I remember feeling defective because I didn't react in the romanticized way I "thought" I was supposed to.

[Joe the Liberal]

3. ...........

:rofl: Wow, I never knew a woman could orgasm while giving birth. I have seen women give birth and it in no way looked pleasurable by any means. :rofl:

[TankLV]

27. I don't recommend you grab a woman's hand during childbirth at all...

it never works the same way after...

thank god they don't reach for something ELSE!!!

[Pastiche423]

59. Although I have never been on the receiving end

of holding someone's hand during labor, I was on the giving end. I din't realize how hard I was squeezing my gf's hand until a few days later when she came to visit and still had indentions on her fingers where her rings dug into them.

My then husband got lucky. I din't want him anywhere near me. Had he gotten closer, it would not be his hand that I would have grabbed. (Still wishing that would have happened.)


Whoever wrote this insanity, is way past delusional.

[Donnachaidh]

4. an eight pound baby is NOT the equivalent of a penis being inserted

I don't care how MUCH penis extending drugs are taken.

[Doremus]

20. LOL Too true.

[Lisa0825]

57. Your sig baby is quite appropriate for this thread. nt

lol

[TankLV]

29. wha - what were you talking about? The picture in my mind was...

and eight pound...

nevermind...

...you mean everyone else's penis is SMALLER than EIGHT POUNDS?!?!...

[Mari333]

5. makes total sense

oxytocin is released during orgasm and is a stress reducer. the uterus contracts significantly during orgasm, and it will help push the baby out. voila. makes sense. if it can be done. i just remember pain.
would a woman have the clitoris stimulated? how? with a baby coming out? I mean, maybe during initial labour, but at the end..? wouldnt work. of course, if it works for some, so be it. i just remember preferring demerol. oh yeah. demerol.

[Cash_thatswhatiwant]

11. a woman could have her gspot stimulated during child birth. believe it or not

i had heard of this a few years ago. i've never had children so i wouldn't know.

[uppityperson]

35. Being stretched out, trying to avoid an episiotomy, don't EVEN think of touching my clitoris.

I mean, don't EVEN think of it. Do you KNOW how we much stretch to avoid having and episiotomy or a rip? Good lord. Here I am, hold breath, bear down ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. breath breath breath, bear down, uhhhhhhhhh, breath breath breath, feel like my pelvis is being torn apart, bear down, breath, uhhhhhh.

Touch my clitoris? Hell no.

[ensho]

107. agree - I had stitches inside and out after it was over

labor pains are way harder then any organism. the pain transports you somewhere else that is not sexy.

[shanti]

39. i remember

from the book, "spiritual midwifery" back in the 70's that clitoral stimulation was discussed for use during natural childbirth (at home). ina may gaskin of The Farm (vegan commune in tennessee) fame, used this or a similar method in her midwifery practice. it was the first time i'd heard of it - interesting that it's getting some practice now!

http://inamay.com/archive/

[ZombieHorde]

84. 'Spiritual midwifery' is one of the worst books that I have ever read.

Although I did feel better about sections of the book when I realized when it was written.

[LeftyMom]

6. The part of labor that hurts and generally just sucks is dialation.

Actually pushing the baby out isn't bad, really. To me it felt kind of good, but in a "holy fuck, after 24 hours of labor getting this DONE is a relief" way, not a sexual way at all. But I can see how in a less self-conscious, stressful setting (I gave birth in a large hospital, under harsh fluorescent lights, with half the OB ward staring at my goodies- a mistake I don't plan on repeating) it could be. It's all about where your mind's at.

Orgasmic though? I don't think most women generally get off on vaginal stimulation alone...

[ogneopasno]

8. True about the vaginal stimulation...

...but with the whole vulva area engorged with blood and stimulated, clitoral stimulation would be pretty easy.

[Cash_thatswhatiwant]

14. not necessarily true for all women. some women have gspot orgasms also or even only.

[LeftyMom]

19. Yeah, but I can't really see wanting to rub one off right then, myself.

Maybe it'd work as an easy coping mechanism for the discomfort for some people? :shrug:

I've heard of this before, and I'm sure it happens to some people, but I can't imagine that many women feel that way.

[ogneopasno]

23. Oh, true, true. I wasn't looking for ways to make it happen.

[CTyankee]

81. The whole vaginal orgasm argument of the past has been resolved with the newer

discovery that the clitoris is not just the tiny "button" on her vulva. It actually covers a much larger area so women saying they have "vaginal" orgasms are really referring to that.

I myself always kept my mouth shut about that argument when my fellow feminist sisters would bring it up...I thought it was silly...

[JitterbugPerfume]

7. that is rediculous

[joeunderdog]

94. Not really. It's like all those people who now climax while watching GWB interviews.

It's really, really painful, but somewhere deep down, they get the sense that they're getting fucked.

[mondo joe]

9. There are a few times in life when I think no one can judge you for how you do it.

Childbirth is one of them.

[ogneopasno]

13. Exactly right.

[DoctorMyEyes]

61. Probably the best statement made on this topic

I agree with you completely.

[BoneDaddy]

108. Absolutely right

Even prior to birth, some women enjoy the experience and others abhor it as they were ill throughout the entire experience. My wife loved pregnancy until about the 7th month and she chose two C sections. The point is women have the options to decide for themselves. From my wife's perspective the most annoying people were the La Leche League in their judgements of women who didn't breast feed. She breast fed both of my boys but not because of their pressure.

[mondo joe]

109. Women, especially mothers, become some sort of nexus for everyone's agenda.

IMO, as long as no one is violating anyone else's rights, it's about personal choice and disposition.

[BoneDaddy]

110. I think that can be extended to everyone

fo shure.

[Warpy]

10. Is she NUTS?

This looks like just one more fantasy that because childbirth is natural, it is risk free and easy. Enjoyable? You guys pass an orange through your penis and get back to me on how enjoyable it is.

While women feel a sense of accomplishment after surviving it, even the granola types I saw were extremely unhappy during the process. These are the women who claimed to enjoy the pregnancy and who were well prepared to work during the birth.

Larter seems to me to be looking for a way to sanitize a dangerous and miserable process. She'd do much better educating women exactly what to expect during the process and how to help it along than tantalizing them with the prospect of making it fun.

[Diane R]

16. As the mother of three, may I please recommend your post a billion times?

[Mari333]

24. granola types LOL

I was so cocksure when I was pregnant, thought I would have natural childbirth blah blah blah , went around pontificating about how I wouldnt need drugs blah blah blah
after 36 hours of puking and feeling like i was in the 7th circle of hell i was given demerol
oh baby baby baby from then on I stfu and learned the hard way.
granola types LOL that was me LOL

[SoCalDem]

37. I was going to do that as well.. had the "perfect" pregnancy going for 7 months

and then a 2/3 abruption at 32 weeks , and an emergency stem-to-stern c-section made just surviving paramount to "doing it right"..

Any pregnancy that results in a live (and preferaby healthy) baby and a live mother is a "successful" one..orgasm or not..drugs or not..:)

[SarahB]

103. Yeah, I was granola in theory too.

I had all c-sections. The last time I labored (I labored twice and they were all huge kids with huge heads), I was in active labor two days and at 8cm unmedicated for 12 hours. I ever had a midwife and a chiropractor give me an adjustment to help my huge posterior baby descend and turn. Still had the cesarean. To top it all off, all the earthy birthy "support" types I became friends with vanished out of my life like a fart in the wind once it happened. So much cognitive dissonance that they can't even stand to be around anyone who's experience disproves their way of thinking. They'd rather blame the "uninformed mothers" than admit they're not always right.

I'm now am a nurse that care of women in high risk pregnancies, many of which end up with c-sections. There shouldn't have to be a choice between cold, unfeeling medicalization or Earthy-birthy at the expense of logic and individual needs. I try to give my patients empathy and warmth in situations that require a lot of medical intervention.

[AspenRose]

36. +2

"...pass an orange through your penis and get back to me..."

:rofl:

"While women feel a sense of accomplishment after surviving it, even the granola types I saw were extremely unhappy during the process. These are the women who claimed to enjoy the pregnancy and who were well prepared to work during the birth."


Yep, that would be me. :hi:

[Evoman]

66. Or a kidney stone. Man, I can't even imagine orgasming during one of those.

[JerseygirlCT]

100. Amen. nt

[shadowknows69]

12. Is this propaganda from the "be fruitful and multiply" crowd?

Over population be damned!!! Birth gets you off!!! Wow, just wow.

[BuelahWitch]

18. You echoed my thoughts

Sorry wingers, vibrators are cheaper...

[mondo joe]

31. Are female orgasms so hard to come by that getting one through childbirth is considered

an incentive?

[uppityperson]

52. Ask Ms. Duggar

[youthere]

102. Hey, don't laugh..for some of those women it's probably their only shot to have an orgasm.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

15. I don't even know where to start with this! Maybe I should just sit on my fingers

and laugh my ass off.

[retread]

21. Damn! All these years I thought she was screaming in pain. n/t

[robinlynne]

22. I would call that well deserved orgasm. nothing more.

[Doremus]

25. Well, there are people who enjoy pain during sex.

Probably a whole bunch of repukes. But that is considered a fetish or some other technical psychological term, no?

Anyway, I can't imagine any (average) woman being able to gain pleasure from the intense pain that typifies the average delivery. Mine included. If someone else can, great, but it sure isn't me. LOL

[Vinca]

28. Yeah . . . right . . . like who wouldn't have an orgasm when passing

a small turkey through the apparatus? Just when you thought you'd heard everything . . .

[Warren DeMontague]

30. One thing I've noticed about childbirth AND parenting- seems like everyone's got an agenda.

And, of course, everyone has the ONE RIGHT WAY to do it- which almost always involves shelling out ten bucks for the book, which explains the ONE RIGHT WAY, of course.

With the birth of our first baby, my wife got all sorts of childbirth class dogma about bad, evil, cascading medical interventions. Except, in our case, some of those medical interventions proved necessary.

What is good advice for Mom A or B might be terrible advice for Mom C... people need to ask questions and be involved with their health care practitioners, but they also need to know that they don't need to feel guilty or like 'failures' if they opt for medical help, epidurals or other pain management, etc.

[uppityperson]

32. FINALLY getting baby out so you stop feeling like you are being ripped in 2 does feel good.

So does taking your finger out of a fire.

Oh good lord. If someone has an orgasm, fine and dandy for them. But the only thing I felt "as the baby exits the birth canal" was "omg I am so glad to not feel like the little bastard is ripping my pelvis in half". Yes, it sure as shit felt GREAT to get that baby out, but NO WAY was it like ANY orgasm I've EVER had in my life. And I've had a few.

[scarletwoman]

33. I enjoyed the birth of my second child immensely. I had trained myself all through my pregnancy to

experience labor as "intensity" and "rushes" rather than pain. I entered an altered state of consciousness in which my prevailing sensory perception was that of ecstacy.

In fact, when the midwives instructed me to push the baby out, I said, "Is it over already?" (It had been eight hours from when my water broke to when my son was born)

I wouldn't characterize the actual descent of the baby through the birth canal as "orgasmic", however. It was more of a coming down to earth from the blissful state I had been in throughout labor. My consciousness was way beyond my physical body by that time -- I was seeing rainbow auras everywhere and glowing full-body halos around my midwives.

And, no, there were no drugs of any kind involved. This was a totally natural home birth.

sw

[Bunny]

34. Oh for fuck sake.

What a crock.

[SammyWinstonJack]

42. .

:spray:

[katmondoo]

38. I did the natural childbirth thing and I can say

IT SUCKS

[gravity]

40. I highly doubt that is a pleasurable experience

but whatever floats your boat.

[JVS]

41. Oh great! It's bad enough that husbands are now expected to be in the room during childbirth...

now the expectation is to try to pleasure your wife during childbirth.

[trof]

43. That's icky.

Well, it is.
My mom?
I don't even want to go there.

[ismnotwasm]

44. Oh for God's sake.

What the fuck ever. To me, it felt like taking the biggest shit in the world. And I wouldn't want my partner slobbering all over me during labor.

And quite frankly, I need a bit more than the the holy penis itself for an Orgasm.

In my experience with childbirth, there is an intense inward focus, a disconnect from what is going around me as labor continues, it's both a striving, aching need and a battle to be won.

While I agree that woman could learn other ways of approaching childbirth, including water births and for some--maybe most, getting away from the lithotomy position, using doulas, and taking advantage of the classic triad birth position--a host of other ways, besides scheduling your cesarean section--an orgasm?

Why? I distrust the whole premise. On the other hand, If a woman can, and wants to, more power to her.

[mzmolly]

45. Sorry, just 24 hours of nasty labor

followed by 3 hours of surgery here. I guess I should have had a c-section. Or so I was told by the OBGYN after my child and I lived through the experience. ;)

[jazzjunkysue]

46. There's not a single moment in life when we're released from the male sexual object definition

Even during child birth, we have to be defined by our sexual ability.

Sometimes I think this species cannot evolve at all beyond amphibian.

[Political Heretic]

48. Why should sexual ability be male definition at all?

I've got to question your premise.

[jazzjunkysue]

49. That's the point. It shouldn't be.

[anigbrowl]

75. You haven't shown that it is

I can't help noting that the proponent of this idea is female, and I'm not seeing the male gratification aspect to any of this.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

47. I thought the doctor was supposed to keep

a professional demeanor whilst helping out. Who knew?? :shrug:

[knitter4democracy]

50. I went natural both times. No orgasms either time. Sorry.

I can't do painkillers, so I went natural both times. Yup, there was pain. Lots and lots of pain. The worst part was transition both times, and the only reason I didn't go crazy (notice, I didn't say scream--I was all for screaming and did lots of it) was because I'd been living with chronic appendicitis for years before that (misdiagnosed, so they didn't catch it until a couple of years ago in surgery).

Orgasms? I find that massively hard to believe. Massively. My daughter was 7.5 lbs, and I got a second degreen tear when she came out flying. No orgasm there. My son was 9.5 lbs, and while I only had two stitches, it still hurt a ton.

If a woman can orgasm purely from vaginal stimulation, maybe (but I massively doubt it), but the clit isn't too happy about all that stretching. Thank goodness it's far enough away from the action that it doesn't usually get torn or hurt.

[gollygee]

51. I had a natural childbirth but it just felt like a large bowel movement

Sorry if that's TMI.

[undeterred]

53. So how does the episiotomy figure in?

:shrug:

[gollygee]

58. I'd have to assume they didn't have episiotomies

because yessiree that wouldn't feel good. I said NO to the big E.

[a la izquierda]

87. I was wondering how my sister in law's

separated pelvis during childbirth worked into the equation.

I have no kiddos yet...so excuse me for laughing my ass off at some of the comments on here.

[Ilsa]

89. generally not necessary during naural childbirth, especially if the

vaginal orifice is being massaged and stretched out during labor.

[Child_Of_Isis]

54. 36 hours & natural...

I remember screaming, cursing, begging, threatening...but not having an orgasm.

Oh & another thing...you know how they say..it's like childbirth, you don't remember the pain...bawahaa....lie lie lie.

21 years later & I am still traumatized.

[FloridaJudy]

55. I'm one of the "granola" types

And while I'd rather go through childbirth a dozen times than have another infected tooth, labor is damned hard work. Maybe some women are wired to get off on pushing grand pianos up hills all by themselves - which is what my labor felt like - but most women aren't. Sure you feel great afterward - you've got all that oxytoxin and those endorphins flooding your system - but the process itself isn't all that pleasant.

Now breastfeeding...best kept secret in the world! :evilgrin:

[Cash_thatswhatiwant]

64. what are 'granola types'

[juno jones]

56. Can't say as I have.

How does this work out for twin births?

[Geek_Girl]

60. I has planning on Natural Child birth

I was throwing up and in intense pain and I wasn't even dilated enough for them to admit me. I quickly opted for the epidural. Then I felt great I slept mostly through labor listening to Enya. My husband slept in the pullout bed. My epidural wore off at the right time and I was able to push without any problems and the rest was easy as pie. I think if women want an easy enjoyable labor get the epidural or even a walking epidural, that way you can move around a little. I enjoyed the room I was in at the women's hospital it was like a hotel.

[GreenPartyVoter]

62. A) It hurt like heck. Period. B) I don't care to associate orgasms with me and my kids. Ick.

[Hekate]

63. ROFLMAO. Seriously. This is a great thread. My daughter had a big ol' C-section when the cord...

.... wrapped around her baby's neck. Thank God she was in the hospital and not at home like my idiot cousin, who experienced a split uterus during labor and almost lost her life.

My own labors were long and I benefitted from LaMaze classes, but "kisses and caresses"? My ex-husband was already turned off by my pregnant body, and he faints at the sight of blood -- absolutely literally turns green and passes out. I was way better off without him and gave him leave to do something else.

Damn it hurt during transition and delivery, and I gave several of what I considered "karate yells" to help the big pushes. Human-being babies have big heads, unlike other mammals who just slide out. Orgasms? For the vast majority of women, I think not.

Hekate

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

68. "My ex-husband was already turned off by my pregnant body"

Idiot.

Pregnant women are HOTHOTHOT!

[Hekate]

95. My second (and final) husband is a jewel...

His motto is "Ladies first". O8) :toast:

Hekate

[Xithras]

65. Reality.

My wife had something similar happen with baby #3. Not an orgasm exactly, but "stimulation". She was embarrassed as heck, but her practitioner told her that it happens in about 1 out of 10 births. He also said that it actually eases the birth by improving vaginal lubrication and causing the muscle walls to relax. His explanation didn't reduce her mortification one bit, but it was the easiest delivery she had (just under two hours from first twinge to birth) and it was incredibly pain-free for her.

What made #3 so much better? We attribute it to the fact that she started meditating between babies #2 & #3, that her meditation allowed her to perform deep visualization which blocked any pain, and the fact that it was a water birth. She did the whole "feet up in stirrups with a billion machines bleeping at you in a cold hospital room" thing for kids #1 & #2, and those deliveries went just as you'd expect. The unconventional birth really helped with her last pregnancy.

[bermudat]

67. Sounds like utter and absolute bullsh*t.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

69. "Ever try shitting a 10lb pumpkin?" As a lady friend answered the "what's it like?" question.

She never mentioned an orgasm.

[Marrah_G]

70. As a mother of 3 I would like to say these people live in a fantasy utopia.

orgasmic- ummm NO.... Childbirth is incredibly intense pain that makes it nearly impossible to focus on anything besides:

OMFG GET THIS KID OUT OF ME!

OW OW OW IT FUCKING HURTS!

GIVE ME MORE DRUGS!

I CHANGED MY MIND, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A BABY!

and my favorites:

I CANNOT BELIEVE HE WANTS TO TURN ON THE PATS GAME

NO HONEY, ITS NOT JUST LIKE BIRTHING A CALF

COME HERE SO I CAN SMACK THAT GRIN OFF YOUR FACE!

[Sabriel]

71. If your orgasms involve a burning sensation and serious cramping pain,

then by all means, childbirth feels like an orgasm!

For the majority of us, however, it does not.

[Arugula Latte]

73. Let me just say: HAH HAH HAH!

Or rather: OW OW OW OW OW OW OW ...

I have two natural childbirths under my belt (I was in labor for more than 24 hours with the first.) Good gawd, I was happy just to live through them.

[KitSileya]

74. Orgasms? Heck, most women would stand to make birth a little less painful.

Which is why "Childbirth Without Fear" by Grantly Dick-Read should be mandatory reading for every woman. Not to mention Immaculate Deception II: Myth, Magic and Birth" by Suzanne Arms (or see The Business of Being Born if you want the film version.) But orgasms? Heck, there's a ton of stuff pregnant women need to discard already from the medical side of the birthing business. We don't need to add to these 'should', 'must', 'need' declarations from the natural birth community. While I am certain that many women, probably more than you think, have felt these sensations, most women wouldn't dare to admit it out loud. Who wants to admit to being turned on by breastfeeding, for example? It's the same hormones as with sex, oxytocin as mention upthread. Women release this hormone during birth, and the synthetic variant, pitocin only helps with making contractions stronger, but don't engage brain chemistry, which is why it's a lot more painful than naturally produced oxytocin, and the use causes a big correlation with the use of epidurals.

Most women see Rachel on Friends and her television ilk screaming their heads off while giving birth, and assume that that's what childbirth is like. Of course they're going to assume that childbirth is beyond painful, and like a self-fulfilling prophecy, that's how their birth is like.

[Lyric]

77. Hold on there.

While I am certain that many women, probably more than you think, have felt these sensations, most women wouldn't dare to admit it out loud. Who wants to admit to being turned on by breastfeeding, for example?

I admit it. I have always had uber-sensitive nipples, and breastfeeding certainly provides very intense stimulation of that area. The lactation consultant at my doctor's office told me that it was normal for some super-sensitive women, and nothing to be ashamed of. It's not like I was getting physically aroused by my *baby*--just by that particular sensation. Nothing weird about that.

Most women see Rachel on Friends and her television ilk screaming their heads off while giving birth, and assume that that's what childbirth is like. Of course they're going to assume that childbirth is beyond painful, and like a self-fulfilling prophecy, that's how their birth is like.

Yeah--I bet all of those billions of women who gave birth in agony in the millenia before TV and pop culture existed were just part of a big self-fulfilling prophecy too. It was all in their minds!!

:eyes:

[KitSileya]

82. Actually, women have been told there would be intense pain since the Bible.

It's a punishment, remember? In many native cultures they didn't have that cultural idiocy, and labor happened with the loving support of other women. It was considered and intense journey, but not excruciating. How many of us haven't heard about women giving birth and then continuing work afterwards? In these societies, childbirth isn't considered something shameful and ugly - at least not among the women.

The fact is, that when women are afraid of childbirth, they trigger the flight or fight reflex which brings blood away from the uterus, where it's needed, to the legs, where the body thinks it's needed. As a result, the uterus doesn't get the oxygen it needs, and the woman has a multitude of chain reactions that end with a childbirth that is more painful that it should have been. If the doctors and nurses get in on it, it increases the chances of intervention as well, and that increases the chance of excessive pain. The insist on pitocin, which doesn't cross the blood-brain barrier and therefore only makes contractions more violent, because hospitals want the mothers our of their beds as fast as possible. The violent contractions are so painful for the mother, she needs and epidural. The epidural slows the contractions, necessitating more pitocin. The violent contractions stress the baby, and the fetal monitors stuck up the woman's vagina (as if that doesn't increase the stress, and violate the mother's sense of self) force the mother to lie in the most painful position, on her back, and then show the baby might be going into stress - and off to the operating room for a c-section with you! And even if a normal labor isn't perverted to that extent, the fetal monitors and nurse's exams draws the mother away concentrating on the labor, pressuring her to give control away to the nurses and the doctors, when it is she who is experiencing the birth and is the expert.

And here I should come with a caveat, because there will be plenty of stories of how if this woman or that had a home birth they would have died, or their baby would have. Of course the development of obstetric medicine is a boon in the sense that we can now save women and children who would have died if we hadn't developed c-sections, and fetal monitors, and labor drugs. But the statistics show that in many hospitals in the US, the c-section rate is 40% or more, and that maternal death is higher than in pretty much any other industrialized country. In some parts of the US, it's more dangerous to give birth than in third world countries - even tho' less than 1% of all births in the US happen somewhere else than a hospital or birthing center. Something is seriously wrong, and what is wrong is that they have taken the control of the birthing process from the women. And this isn't something that starts happening at the first pre-natal check-up - this is part of the culture we are exposed to from our childhood. We hear our mothers talk about their labors, and we see it on television, and we read about it in books and magazines, and so long before we even contemplate having a baby, we have formed mental pictures and thought processes that we never question. But should we happen to question them and overcome them, I think that many women should be able to have less painful childbirths. And please notice how I said 'less painful' here. I don't thin every woman, or even many women will float away on orgasmic clouds under birth if we manage to change the trend. But how likely are you to feel pleasure while exposed to stranger nurses sticking their hands up your vagina whenever they decide it's necessary? How likely are you to manage your pain/sensations if you have no control over what is done to your body because the medical personell blackmail you with your baby's life?

As for the pleasure at breastfeeding - I'm glad you can be open about how you feel. But in a culture where breastfeeding in public is shameful because breasts are so sexualized that a baby nursing is akin to pedophilia, most women won't admit that breastfeeding is pleasurable, much less admit they got an orgasm during childbirth.

[Arugula Latte]

85. Just want to say

I was "prepared" for childbirth. I did the breathing. I did the relaxation stuff. I did the visualization. I had support around me.

It still hurt like BLOODY HELL. My first was stuck in me for hours. There is no getting around the fact that sometimes moving a large baby out of a small opening is just unbelievably painful.

[KitSileya]

90. Yeah, it can be very painful.

I'm saying many births could be less painful. For one, many women who could never have kids before are having kids today - women who simply aren't built to survive childbirth without help. Some women will have excruciating births no matter what unless they get epidurals. But a great number of women would have less painful births if our culture was different.

I've had this belief since I was a teenager. When I was a little kid, I needed orthodontic help because my mouth was simply too small for all my teeth. I started having some of my primary teeth pulled and finally 4 of my permanent teeth pulled, about a dozen in all. The first 3 or 4 extractions went fine - I got injections to numb the pain, and while I could feel the tooth being pulled it didn't hurt. But after each extraction people would ask me if it hurt a lot (not if it hurt, but if it hurt a lot) and whether I was afraid. I started to realize that tooth extractions were supposed to hurt, and I was supposed to be afraid, and I started tensing up whenever I went to the dentist. The last 6 extractions were awful because of this, and I still have an instinctive fear of going to the dentist.

That's where I think many women are today - they are told in a myriad ways that childbirth is horribly painful, and therefore they tense up because of the expected pain, and they just exacerbate the problem. If we could focus more on how it is acceptable and even normal not to have incredibly painful births, I think some of the balance could be restored. even the ridiculous clip Cenk Uygur did on TYT the other day about this topic is damaging ("how do you want to tell your kid that when he came, you came") Not to mention if we could decrease the use of unnecessary practices that increase the pain, like laying on you back, pitocin drips, and birthing at the convenience of the doctors rather than the mother, that would be an incredible boon.

[LeftyMom]

86. I'd say it has more to do with how birth is generally managed in our society.

Purple pushing, lithotomy, etc. Focusing too much on the mental aspect seems to suggest that if a woman just had her head in the right place, barbaric labor practices would feel awesome, which is just plain bullshit. The focus has to be on how medicine fails women, not how women are programmed to fail themselves, because that's the primary issue here.

[KitSileya]

91. I guess the question is where to attack the beast.

More women would be willing to stand up to the medical industry if they had a better understanding and stronger belief that the medical industry is not on their side when it comes to childbirth. The Business of Being Born, Ricki Lake's documentary on this issue, should definitely be shown to women when they reach their late teens.

[RiverStone]

78. OK, for those women that have birthed a child - can you fathom this happening?

I was there to help my x-wife birth our 2 kids - and I can tell you the last thing that was on her mind was anything related to orgasm.

Wet towels, ice cubes, water, gentle words and peaceful music --- plenty of caressing (but not of a sexual nature).

I suppose if it (an orgasm) happened naturally - that would be a plus. But one would think this would be a more popular assumption if more woman just happened to orgasm during childbirth. Tho I have never heard of it happening....

Can you imagine screaming in pleasure along with the pain? :think:

[BooScout]

79. This has got to be the stupidest thing I have read today.....

Honestly...........it's just totally fucking stupid.

[Terran]

80. I don't really see the point.

I suppose it's physically possible, if a bit unlikely. If it happens, it happens...that doesn't mean it means anything on any level above the fact that it happens.

I'm a man, but I believe most women understand what they're getting into when they deliberately become pregnant. I doubt many women would feel differently about the experience based on the chance they might have an orgasm in the process. Just reading way too much into a physical quirk of chance, IMO.

[Catherine Vincent]

83. I think the orgasm comes once the woman holds the baby that just came from her body.

:)

[Ilsa]

88. If the baby is only 9 inches long and two pounds max, yeah maybe.

But since women are generally giving birth to 7-9 pound babies, it isn't the same. And if the birth is extremely premature, there may be an extensive episiotomy to prevent extreme pressure and stress on the 2-3 pound baby.

I think women have had enough of over-medicalized birthing, but they've also had enough of the business of getting their hopes up for a "perfect" birth. Life isn't perfect, parenting isn't perfect, and I don't see how childbirth would be.

Yeah, I'm a grump.

[holograms r us]

92. LOL- ever listen to a woman in labor? It sounds exactly like sex!

This is really bizarre to me, though, because it involves the baby. Am I just a prude?

[moriah]

115. Yeah, but just because it sounds the same....

... cats purr during kittening, but it's not the same type of purr. It's more done to relieve them of pain -- just like screaming is in humans.

[meow2u3]

93. ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?!

Childbirth hurts like hell and some bozo is talking about Mom having a damn orgasm!? The orgasm is supposed to occur at conception--not birth!
:crazy:

[Giant Robot]

96. While Mrs Giant Robot did not orgasm during childbirth

I will share that she fell asleep between contractions. And I mean the push push push contractions, not the 3 days before birth contractions start contractions. I was supposed to be counting her breathing but fuck I was useless and traumatized by the whole deal, when her OB looks up and says, "Does she snore?" And I actually paid attention and Mrs GR had fallen asleep between pushes and was snoring. Nowadays I through that fact at her whenever she complains about how hard labor was.

[carlyhippy]

97. yeah, right

the only thing on a woman's mind at that moment is ...."GET THIS THING OUT OF ME NOWWWWWW!!!!!" insert swear words throughout the quote.....

[JerseygirlCT]

98. I'll tell you what

by the end stages of labor, the last thing I wanted was anyone touching me. And orgasm was the farthest thing from what I was feeling.

Second time around, I opted for an epidural. MUCH better experience.

I'm glad for people for whom the whole experience is hearts and flowers and orgasms, but it's not the way it works for many. And I'd hate for there to be yet more expectations of what it's supposed to be like for anyone. It's a highly personal experience, not another thing to live up to!

[foxfeet]

104. C'mon, admit it. This is all a plot to get the guys to do the childbearing..

And you can bet that an orgasm or six is the LEAST most of us would demand.:scared:

[JVS]

111. We don't need to carry a kid in our belly for 9 months to get off.

[foxfeet]

113. True. They need a better plot.

But I'm sure somebody will fall for this one.

[moriah]

105. I'm sure it's possible.

Then again, some women can orgasm from nipple stimulation alone, and I've witnessed a man orgasm from being whipped. I'm not doubting that it's possible.

But I think that it's probably pretty unlikely to happen. Yes, it would be a good idea to make sure women know it can happen, so they don't feel horrible or evil for it if it were to happen -- just as a woman preparing to breastfeed their baby needs to know that some people do get stimulated from it but it's not evil or wrong.

But no, people don't need to be trying to tell women that if they just try hard enough that they, too, can have an orgasm while squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon. And since I've never given birth, I can't add to the polling going on here.

[JCMach1]

112. Oh please! Humans aren't cats!

[Alter Ego]

114. Whenever I think about this kind of thing I thank God

that I was born with a Y chromosome. Good God, I can't even imagine the pain.