Posts on destitute retirees makes me wonder--are non-AL co-ops for seniors possible?

[zazen]

Not the really expensive "active senior living" communities, although in a way, they're providing a lot of what people feel might be good to get back if communities ever can seriously "relocalize" their trips, meals, healthcare, markets, etc.

But hearing/reading about all the retirees who've been kicked out of the middle class and who won't be able to make it on SS alone . . . Is there a model for senior communities with pooled resources that _isn't_ one of the chains above or an assisted living/nursing home facility?

I mean, if couples end up renting rooms in a large home together, or renting apartments in the same community. . . is it possible to have some grassroots organization through which they pool resources more systematically to take care of themselves? (or their kids do it for them?)

I'm obviously just shooting from the hip here, but I'd think many of the active 70-year-old women I know would prefer to have a dorm like setting with people their own age then feel like they're a burden to their adult children (who are raising grandkids too). It's infantalizing. Ultimately, we hope we go back to live with our kids (or they with us) right before we die, but in the meantime, wouldn't a sorority/frat house environment for seniors be a blast?

Is this done anywhere on a co-op basis?

[endarkenment]

1. There are boomer communes/communities/shared living coops.

I predict we will relive our 20's in our 60's and 70's. Maybe we can do it better this time.

[JDPriestly]

2. The older people I know want to be independent. They want

to live alone. Even if they have good friends, they enjoy the peace and quite of their own homes. My mother is very, very elderly and does not want to leave her home.

It is extremely difficult for older people to move, to adjust to a new home. They are used to finding things where they always put them. They are often physically unable to move in that they cannot unpack and arrange all their belongings in a new place.

Asking an older person to move means asking them to give up belongings that link them to the memories of their past. An older person is very likely to become extremely depressed after moving from a home in which they have lived for a long time.

My mother had a friend who moved from the rural home she had shared with her husband following his death and a long, happy marriage. My mother's friend chose to move because she was afraid of living out in the country all by herself. She had sufficient means and moved into various apartments, mostly senior communities after she sold her house, but she was never at ease in her new surroundings. Gradually, over a period of years, she developed a stomach problem that escaped diagnosis, wretched her food and finally, just refused to eat. She wasted into nothing.

I accompanied my mother on a visit to her friend in a nursing home. My mother, ever the independent spirit, ever stubborn and determined and full of life and love, tried desperately to cheer her friend up. It was hopeless. My mother was bewildered and dismayed, went home and cleaned house.

Moving an elderly people can kill them. Yes, I know, sometimes it works, but it is extremely risky. Better to have someone move in with them.

[DBoon]

3. Like Sunset Hall?

http://sunsethall.org/

Sunset Hall is a nonprofit program for free thinking elders who continue to share independence of spirit and involvement in the world. Our mission is to create a sense of community and a caring supportive environment.

We are dedicated to creating and maintaining opportunities for educational, cultural and political participation by Sunset Hall members in the larger society. Sunset Hall is a membership organization. Its community members, supporters and volunteers share in its governance. We strive to be a model of multi-ethnic and intergenerational life for our members and our community.

Lots of LA activists have ended up there

[zazen]

7. Sounds cool--I think the closest we have to senior-focused self-org communities is in Chapel Hill

If people are independent enough to keep their own place, great. But it sounds like lots of folks are going to face moving in with kids or, what? So that's where I was going with this. What are their options? I'll pass this on to the seniors I know around here. Thanks!

[The empressof all]

4. In the Seattle Area we have SHAG

http://housing4seniors.com/home.htm

They make senior apartment communities available to lower-middle income seniors. I have a friend who lives in one of their communities. Her apartment is on the small side but it's really cute. The folks in her building socialize frequently with each other and share some communal meals but that is voluntary. It works well for her and is comforted by the fact that she has neighbors who would notice if they didn't see her in her out and about in her usual routine.

[Mari333]

5. Thats how my mom lives, shes 82

its in Indiana..large apt complex senior apts, really cheap. there is a large meeting room where they all go for coffee and bingo and poker and stuff. she loves it. i would hate it.
If I get to the point where I cant take care of myself, its hello bottle o pills.
nothing worse then being dependent on ones kids, for me.

[SoCalDem]

6. It's the "circle of life".. Parents care for their young for the first 20 years of their lives

(give or take a few years)..and in MOST cases, the children end up caring for their parents for their LAST years of life.. It's just the way it is.. Wealthy elders may hire "strangers", so they can avoid having the children care for them, but many children feel it's a "debt" they can repay, and at the same time, model the experience for their own children..

One's children see their treatment of their elders,and it offers THEM a window into their own future and may set the stage for how they will do it:)

Barring an early, raging illness or sudden death, we all face the aging of our parents/grandparents..and there inevitable comes a time when an aged relative just cannot physically tend to the needs of independent living..

Asian & European cultures seem to have a better handle on this than we do.