Is it appropriate for a male boss to give a gift to a female subordinate

[question everything]

Nothing nefarious. The woman's husband is a real organic chemist: everything that he touches turns into crap. He was a mortgage broker that lost his job last year and since then decided to be "the best father that he can be" to their two small children. They had two houses that they bought with nothing down, two expensive leased cars, finally declared bankruptcy and moved out. And now, she is pregnant again.

My friend would like to offer her, say, $20 for Christmas but I think that this can have bad implications, no matter how honorable his intentions are.

I think that, perhaps, a gift certificate for $20 may be better.

These days, with perceptions often are worse than facts, what do DUers here think?

Thanks.

[ogneopasno]

1. Definitely a gift certificate would be much better. No one should give cash.

[HereSince1628]

14. Is that a miss manners thing? Please explain why cash is so bad.

Thanks.

[ogneopasno]

17. Frankly, I think it's tacky, loaded, and in a job setting, unprofessional. If you have the money to

throw around, give the person a raise, or tack on a holiday bonus to the paycheck. You get cash from your grandma, not your boss.

ETA: As someone else mentions below, cash doesn't look like a gift, it looks like charity or a handout, which can be embarrassing to the recipient. A gift certificate or debit card can look more like a gift.

[hlthe2b]

2. A gift certificate-- perhaps fora local moderate priced restaurant

that she could use to treat her entire family would seem very appropriate to me.

[Richardo]

3. I say gift cert for sure.

You can get them as branded (MC/Visa/Amex) debit cards so she could use them anywhere.

[ogneopasno]

7. Excellent idea -- even better than a gift certificate, and less tacky than cash.

[question everything]

11. This is a great idea

I wonder where one gets one. From a bank?

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

19. I want to post a Dilbert strip about gift certs, but I can't find it.

What it says is harsh but it's the truth.

I'm in favor of physical gifts myself. Not gift certs, and certainly not money.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

24. Ah, found it. Well, a transcript of the animated cartoon.

But I'm sure there was a printed script with this exact dialogue. Or am I confabulating?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0560466/quotes

Alice: A gift certificate is completely different from cash.
Dilbert: No, it's not. They're both pieces of paper you can exchange for goods and services.
Alice: You're missing the point.
Dilbert: Actually, a gift certificate is worse than cash, because you can only use it in one place.
Wally: And it expires.
Alice: At least it shows some thought.
Dilbert: It shows defective thought. You're trading perfectly good money for something that does the same thing, only not as well.

[kirby]

4. I dont see a problem

If it were the other way around, a subordinate giving a gift to a boss, there could be more issues raised. But $20 is not really an amount that should raise flags regardless.

Maybe a gift certificate for birth control pills would have been a better gift last year. ;)

[PVnRT]

5. If there's no demand of sex or anything like that, why not?

Put it in a card with a note that he hopes this helps some.

[I Have A Dream]

6. I think that it's perfectly acceptable and would be appreciated.

However, if done for one employee, if he has others who report to him, it should be done for the others as well.

[question everything]

10. No, only one. And they have good working relationship

Thanks.

[KansDem]

8. Gift certificate. But make certain the company isn't going bankrupt. (nt)

[woodsprite]

9. What about a VISA gift card? That way it can be used for groceries,

gas, something useful, needed, or frivolous.

[question everything]

12. Good idea. I wonder where one gets one. From a bank? (nt)

[RebelOne]

23. You can buy them anywhere now. Grocery stores, Walgreen's, etc.

[Hamlette]

13. office rules are giving are: you can always gift down but never up

gifting up looks like you are buttering up the boss to get something.

gift card is a great idea, always popular in my office.

[Marrah_G]

15. My boss gave me 500 bucks, the company owner we contract to gave me 100.

and then an additional 100 to settle a bet because mccain lost (woooohooo).

Then various agents who contract to us gave me the room I stayed in at the casino, wine, champange, a bracelet, casino chips and even a victoria secret gift card!

My asst got the same minus the bet winnings.

Party was Tuesday/Wednesday....I think I am still drunk !

This weekend I am going shopping with it to make my boys a nice Yule this year! They have had to many with hardly anything under the tree.

[gollygee]

16. When I was working, my bosses would give me gift certificates or small gifts

I'd guessing $20 to $30 was the average range so he's go the right amount. I don't think it looks bad. I just don't think it looks like a gift. But I don't think anyone would think anything of him for giving her $20 in a card.

[uppityperson]

18. Sounds fine with me. GC's limit where/what, that is small enough amt cash to be ok.

$20 in a nice card would be fine. He could put something like "I thought of giving you a gc, but didn't want to limit your use of this gift." or some such, if he wanted to include an explanation. If they have a decent relationship, should be ok.

[LeftHander]

20. Sex toys and lingerie would be a problem....avoid those. nt

[leftofthedial]

21. It's only appropriate if she reciprocates with sexual favors.

[Sabriel]

22. How about a Chamber of Commerce gift cert?

They're available in various denominations and are usually accepted widely in the place you live. Check your local CoC's site.

[JerseygirlCT]

25. Totally appropriate and a nice gesture nt