SCENE:Todd Palin sits at the head of the Christmas dinner table

[underpants]

Characters
Sarah
Bristol
Levi Johnson
Sherry Johnson (Levi's mother)
various family

(background noise of nervous awkwardness and clinking of silverware)

Todd (wipes mouth with napkin): "So.....let's talk about our year..."

Sarah (oblivious to everything, stares blissfully at tract lighting thinking they are TV camera lights)



:+ :crazy: :silly: :scared: :grouphug: :blush: :spray: :nopity:

[DS1]

1. Then Aunt Marjorie blocks up the toilet and they have to call....

[underpants]

2. Joe (sitting waiting for the phone to ring)

Joe: "Stupid phone NEVER rings anymore" :grr::mad:

[Warpy]

3. PERFECT picture!

Cheap furniture, no art, just cigarettes, remote and Big Gulp...and himself paying rapt attention to ?sports or ?Pox News.

It's how they live and it's sad beyond belief.

[Raschel]

9. Too perfect. I thought it was photoshopped, then I noticed the sofa arms don't have cup holders.

[appleannie1]

6. OMG That is my old couch. Thank goodness the dog ruined it.

[Catshrink]

4. Before Joe, you need

At $30,000 a session

[NV Whino]

5. And Bristol flys somewhere so she can be 10 hours away from a hospital

when the baby is due... which was on the 18th.

[TheCowsCameHome]

7. .... desperately trying to remember which kids he fathered.

Meanwhile, Sarah threatens to field-dress Levi the redneck on the family room floor.

[Johonny]

8. I imagine the conversation starts with

what you're going to be a member of the family and I still have to pay for my drugs?

[arcadian]

10. "Pass the chocolate covered Meth balls, please"

n/t

[peekaloo]

11. Levi: May I be excused?

Sarah: There is no excuse for you! *raises forefinger to indicate score one for herself*

Levi: I'd rather just be, ya know, f*ckin' chillin'.

Sarah: Hey buster, f*ckin' my chillen is what got ya here in the first place! *high fives Todd*
So Sherry tell us about your white Christmas! *gets up and does a touchdown dance around her chair*

Sherry: Yeah about that, I don't suppose you could talk to the State Troopers on my behalf....

Sarah: Who do ya think tipped 'em off in da first place, Santa? HA! Rim Job!

Todd: I think you mean shot. Rim shot.

Sarah: What's the diff snookums?

Todd: Not sure honey but it's best the kids don't know how you got on McCain's ticket.

The end.

[underpants]

12. ENCORE!!

:rofl:

*raises forefinger to indicate score one for herself*