A question for gay DUers about terminology.

[kstewart33]

Today on Huffington Post, I read a piece by a gay commentator about Prop 8. His views on the issue aren’t relevant to my question, but his use of the word ‘queer’ is. He repeatedly uses the word (e.g., ‘queer culture,’ ‘queers’, etc.). The word has always been offensive to me when used to refer to gays because, to me, the word, separate from any gay connotation, means not just unusual, but abnormally unusual. So when used in reference to gays, it carries a judgementally negative connotation, at least to me. I remember many years ago when I was growing up, 'queer' was used in reference to gays by people who had absolutely no use for gay rights at all. But then, there’s the ‘Queer Eye…’ titled show on cable, so I don’t know.

So my question is, within the gay community, what does the word ‘queer’ mean today? Is it an insulting or belittling term when used to refer to gays, or is it not negative at all and accepted? And if it is not more accepted, I’m wondering why a gay commentator on Huffington Post who appears to support gay rights would use it.

No flaming please. This question is respectfully asked.

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

1. I know in literature there's a Queer Theory which studies homosexuals and other liminal groups

but I've always wondered that, myself.

[qb]

2. Many LGBT people use the term proudly. The meaning, as close as I can judge, is "not straight"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer

:hi:

[nxylas]

5. Am I correct in thinking that you'd be offended if a straight person used it, though?

Kind of like black people's appropriation of the n-word?

[qb]

6. I can't speak for others, but it wouldn't offend me.

Used as an epithet, however, it is offensive.

[Chovexani]

13. I don't think queer rises to the level of the N word though

Maybe it's because I'm too young and never had people calling me queer as an insult really (I think it's more of an antiquated or rural thing, IMO). Would I be offended by heteros using it? Probably not, but I would be uncomfortable.

I think "fag" and "dyke" are more like the N word, though, and I will never be cool with hearing straight people say those terms, regardless of the context.

[Recursion]

12. "Queer" as a self-identity means whatever the identifier wants it to

At least, that's a fairly broad point of consensus; anyone whose sexuality makes them feel "queer" calls themselves that -- some people in the Scene call themselves "queer" despite being heterosexual.

[radfringe]

3. depends on

who is using the term and in what context

[mondo joe]

4. Some GLBT people like it, some don't. As is often the case, it is generally more

acceptable when said by a person it could describe than by none GLBT people (which I personally find ridiculous).

I'm gay, I don't find it a particularly interesting or useful word, and generally don't use it.

[NWHarkness]

7. There is a bit of a generational split

Most younger members of the GLBT community that I know use it constantly, as an inclusive term embracing all aspects of non-heteronormative life. Older folks, not so much.

[Cheap_Trick]

8. Here's another serious question

If GLBT stands for Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgendered.... aren't Lesbians gay? Does Gay in this instance mean male homosexuals?

[foxfeet]

10. Yes, in this instance it refers to male homosexuals.

In the earlier days of the movement women were excluded and kept invisible (as lesbians have historically been "invisible" to mainstream culture). The name lesbian was self-selected by women to refer to their particular community and was adopted by the larger movement to acknowledge their struggles and the issues that are theirs apart from gay men. Still, many lesbians occasionally refer to themselves as gay women, as "gay" became the shorthand label for the movement as a whole. There tends to be a generational component to this as well.

[Cheap_Trick]

15. Thank you. n/t

[Laughing Mirror]

9. queer is insulting and belittling when saying it you mean to insult & belittle

Straight intellectuals can sit around the table discussing Queer literature, for example, without them being insulting.

William F. Buckley yelling "Now look, you queer," at Gore Vidal on prime time TV at the Democratic National Convention in 1968 is a classic and shocking example of how NOT to use the word queer, unless, of course, your intent, like Buckley's, is to insult & belittle.

The gay commentator's use of queer and queers at Huff did not intend to insult and belittle anybody, I'm assuming, without having read the piece. Since he's gay he's comfortable saying queer, and in all its various shades of meaning. Especially if he identifies himself as queer or with queer culture.

[Chovexani]

11. I agree with what others have said

And, also, in my experience it definitely is a generational thing. Almost all of the LGBT people I know who are uncomfortable with the word are from the older generation. Not saying that's a bad thing, because I've heard very good arguments against it from people older than me. For many of them, the word has been used as a weapon of hate against them too long to ever strip it of the negative connotations. I can understand where they're coming from, and respect that.

I stand firmly on the side of reclamation, though, and I tend to use queer as a catch all term for sexual minorities; ie instead of saying the full alphabet soup of LGBTQI (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex), I just say queer. For me, though, the word runs deeper than just "not straight". It's about a conscious rejection of the heteronormativity and gender constructs of "normal" society. And it's a cultural thing too. So I would include poly folks, regardless of sexual orientation, in the term, as well as asexuals and androgynes also. Even if I were heterosexual, I would still be queer, because I reject the dominant sexual paradigm. Log Cabin Republicans, however, are decidedly NOT queer. If that makes any sense.

As for whether straight people can use the word or not, to me it depends on context. Straight academics discussing queer theory, for instance, is fine. But I have to admit to looking a bit askance and feeling kind of uncomfortable when I hear the word coming out of the mouths of heteros, regardless of where they stand or what their intent is. I still to this day don't know how I feel about Queer Eye, on the nomenclature angle or about the concept of the show itself, even though I did watch it and enjoyed it as fluff entertainment.

[kstewart33]

14. Thanks everyone. nt