*** DUzy Awards for week ending December 26, 2008 ***

JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Dec-26-08 06:26 PM
Original message

Welcome to the humbug DUzy Awards, a compendium of star-spangled amusement from the past week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

The DUzy Awards will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.

Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks to ColbertWatcher, eridani, muriel_volestrangler, grantcart, DuStrange, JoeIsOneOfUs, babylonsister, WakeMeUp, blondeatlast, KamaAina, Husb2Sparkly, dixiegrrrrl, cliffordu, Kurovski, TahitiNut, awoke_in_2003 and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance with this edition.

DUzy Fun Fact: racaulk has won 7 awards to date, but claims to have won none.

This should have appeared last week:

On a thread by Hissyspit:

      Jane Smiley: Joe Biden Asked Me For Money Today
"My suggestion to Joe is that instead of coming to me for money, he spend a little of his own and go see Milk, which I did last night. By the end of that movie, pretty much everyone in the audience around me was sniffling and weeping. It's a sad movie, and what's sad is not just that Harvey Milk and George Moscone were shot by a homophobic religious nut. What's sad is that Milk was shot in 1978, thirty years ago, and Rick Warren still hasn't learned which way is up..."

response #1 by dwickham:

      just one issue with her column
Dan White, who assassinated Milk and Moscone, was not a religious nut

he was conservative but I don't see religion playing a part in the murders

response #8 by TahitiNut:

      Are you saying that Twinkies aren't part of the Eucharist?
:silly:

:hide:

response #10 by dwickham:

      only in churches
like Our Lady of the Ho-Ho's

but twinkies are blasphemy to those of us who believe that Little Debbie is the goddess

GD, December 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4680162

On a thread by Swede:

      Man chucks chicken into 7/11.
"Workers at a Tisdale 7-Eleven had their feathers ruffled this week when a supposed animal rights activist barged into the store and threw a live chicken into the cooked chicken display case on the front counter.

'Chicken is murder,' the man clucked before taking flight in a red pickup truck..."

response #3 by DJ13:

      There's no lower form of life than a chicken chucker

response #6 by Hanse:

      As god as my witness...
fill in the rest.

response #9 by beac:

      In other news, a man was seen spanking monkeys and flogging dolphins outside the local zoo.
Said police, "We will get to the bottom of this even if we have to rough up the suspect by slapping him with a salami."

GD, December 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4687683

OP by Old Crusoe:

      So Rick Warren, Warren Harding, and Warren Beatty walk into a bar.
That's it. That's all I got.

Happy Solstice, everybody.

unnumbered response by RevCheesehead:

      The TV had FOX news on...
and Rick turns to the others and says "Who's Warren Christmas?"

:hi:

response #4 by muriel_volestrangler:

      That seems unwarrented (nt)

response #21 by Orrex:

      And they spot Leo Tolstoy
Suddenly the three of them unzip, whip out their willies, and urinate all over the Russian novelist. Then the three rezip and exit the bar without a word.

"I'll never forget that for as long as I live," says the bartender.

Tolstoy just shrugs sadly. "That's all anyone remembers about me. Warren pees."

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GD, December 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4687532

Poll question by mondo joe:

      If someone threw a shoe at Warren at the inauguration...
If someone threw a shoe at Warren at the inauguration, would you be:

:bluebox: Angry

:bluebox: Saddened

:bluebox: Happy

:bluebox: Ashamed

:bluebox: Neutral

:bluebox: Other (explain)

:bluebox: Amused

response #15 by rug:

      The shoe would be purpose driven.

response #25 by grantcart:

      standing on one frozen foot wondering if I should go for two

At press time, "Amused" was winning with 34% of the votes.

GDP, December 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8016121

On a thread by IWantAnyDem:

Rick Warren is an evil man

response #4 by PM7nj:

Yes he is. Thanks for posting this...
This issue really isn't getting enough attention on DU. :)

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GDP, December 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8017049

OP by Whoa_Nelly:

      Name that baby! Bristol's baby due today!
My pick for the soon-to-arrive baby boy:

5-Pocket

That way when people refer to the child, they can say....

That's Levi's original 5-Pocket! :P

response #1 by JerseyGirlDem:

      Well, since this recent chain of events with Grandma Johnson.....
I'd go with Mary Jane.

But Sarah would probably think it's too generic. :)

response #34 by antiwarwarrior:

      Along those same lines, but far more representative of Wasilla's reputation:
Crystal.

response #11 by HypnoToad:

      Name him after Levi's brother - Docker.

response #16 by Tuttle:

      if it's a boy...
Boy: Skat

if it's a girl: Treadmill.

response #31 by Midlodemocrat:

      Sudafed.

response #33 by Godlesscommieprevert:

      In the mathematical line (ala Trig), how about Radian
Or Cosine - I'm sure someone'll be co-signing loans for Bristol and Levi.

response #36 by send in the clowns:

      To Add That Air Of Mystery
Hoosier Daddy

response #40 by rcrush:

      Blue Dynamite, Super Snowdog, Burmese Kush, Purple Nurple
and Turtle Power!

response #42 by mnhtnbb:

      Whatthefuck didIdoinmypreviouslife todeservetheseparents.

response #44 by deucemagnet:

      I've got it! Gack.
It's the kind of monosyllabic grunt that Grandma Sarah likes in boy's names, and it's also slang for crystal meth! Viola!

response #46 by Turbineguy:

      Zebra
Crossing.

It's so binary.

response #56 by kayakjohnny:

      Spleen if it's a boy, Abrasion if it's a girl.

response #61 by missdc:

      bristol's baby names
1. Trig's Brother or Trig's sister
2. rOXY
OR
In keeping with family tradition of crackpot names:
Perambulator
Wasilla
Xmas
SnowBilly
Captain Morgan
Poor Little Baby

A tribute to daddy and gramma:
Shootin-Tootin

My gift:
A T-shirt that says:

Grandma Pardon Grandma

response #63 by texanwitch:

      Only one name fits.
Corduroy

The Lounge, December 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8343813

OP by nxylas:

Rick Warren doesn't win Routemaster design competition
In fact, Rick Warren has absolutely nothing to do with this story, but since there seems to be an unwritten rule that no thread can be started on DU without mentioning his name, I figured I'd better shoehorn it into the thread title somehow.

Anyway, Mayor Boris Johnson has announced the winners of a competition to design a 21st century update of London's iconic Routemaster buses. You can see a gallery of the winning designs, none of which were by Rick Warren, here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/gallery/2008/dec/19/london-transport?picture=340922125

response #1 by KamaAina:

Warren's design lost out because
the on-board gay and lesbian detection equipment took up too much room and interfered with passenger flow. :P

Public Transportation and Smart Growth Group, December 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=398x524

OP by Orrex:

Then he smiled at me pa rum pa pum pum, me and my drum
But, since he was a newborn, it was most likely gas.

The Lounge, December 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8344803

OP by 20score:

Cheney Admits All This Evil Is To Deflect A Childhood Fear Of Satire
Washington DC � Dick Cheney�s part in the Bush Administration�s Rehabilitation Tour took an unexpected turn toward candor this weekend when the Vice President revealed what makes Dick Cheney who he is today.

In an interview Saturday with Brit Hume, Dick Cheney talked not only about his part in torture, spying, illegal wars and indefinite detention, but also delved into his childhood and related milestones that helped shape his personality.

�I am not afraid to admit it now,� scowled the Vice President. �That�s what years of therapy will do, you know. That, and decades of work to make sure your fears never come true.�

�And your fear, since childhood, was of satire?� mumbled Brit Hume.

�Well, of being satirized, really. I don�t give a fuck about anyone else,� continued Dick Cheney. �When I was ten years old, the kids in my school passed around a picture of me carrying my pet duck. I was the only fifth grader balding, with gray hair. They all had a good laugh at my expense. But when I bit off the head of my duck and drank the blood, they stopped laughing.

�I learned an important lesson that day,� squawked Mr. Cheney. �You have to be evil enough to do whatever it takes to work on �the dark side� if you will; then, kick it up a notch or two until they stop laughing.�

�And to your credit, Dick,� Brit fawned. �It worked. Most people would agree � you�re not funny.�

GD, December 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4697047

On a thread by trof:

      Strange Christmas lawn 'decoration' in my neighborhood.
They have a couple of those ugly (IMHO) inflated things from Walmart in front of the house.
Off to one side there's a cross made from two by fours with a baby Jesus in a manger at the foot.

I've never seen the cross (signifying Jesus's death) in Christmas (signifying Jesus's birth) juxtaposed lawn decorations.

I'm a heathen, so it really doesn't matter to me personally.
I just find it...odd?
:shrug:

response #15 by Liberal Veteran:

      Seems like a good idea to me. Happy All Hallow's Christmeastergiving.
Just do up the traditional holidays in one big package.

C'mon, you know you want the bunny to bring you a pumpkin with a nativity scene on it that smells like turkey and tastes like marshmallow peeps.

response #32 by peekaloo:

      You should demand those people place a placard that reads *Spoiler*
near the cross. For those who haven't read that far into the Bible. :silly:

The Lounge, December 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8347310

OP by philboy:

      I failed cheerleading school.
They did not like the cheers that I created.

MAKE THE OTHER TEAM RELINQUISH THE BALL!

TRY YOUR VERY BEST TO GET A FIRST DOWN! DO YOUR BEST TEAM!

HIT THE OTHER GUY WITH FORCE!

CATCH THE BALL AND RUN OVER THE LINE WITH IT!

response #4 by DuStrange:

      Join the club.
My cheers were frowned upon as well.

GET A FUCKING TOUCHDOWN, YOU ASSWIPES!
SHOVE THAT BALL UP THEIR POOPHOLE!
DON'T RUN A 5-YARD PATTERN ON 3RD-AND-8! AW, C'MON FUCKING COACH!

They did not appreciate my school spirit. Or those tight shorts I wore.

response #5 by datasuspect:

      FUCK TO YOU THE ENEMY TEAM
WE WILL VANQUISH YOU
WE WILL CRUSH YOU LIKE STALIN

response #8 by DuStrange:

      WE WILL LOFT THE HEAD OF THE OPPOSING COACH UPON OUR STAFF OF VICTORY.
AND SLAKE OUR THIRST ON THE OPPOSING TEAM'S BLOOD AND GATORADE!

response #10 by datasuspect:

      THE ENEMY TEAM WILL BECOME OUR SORROW VASSALS
WE WILL BRING IGNOMINY UPON THE LANDS OF THEIR FATHERS

response #9 by philboy:

      THE LARGER NUMBER WILL BE DISPLAYED ON OUR SIDE OF THE SCOREBOARD

response #15 by datasuspect:

      THE ENEMY TEAM WILL CRAWL PROSTRATE TO THE LAKE OF FIRE
THEY WILL KNOW THE WRATH OF THE GOD OF ABRAHAM

response #16 by DuStrange:

      YOUR CHIN STRAPS WILL QUIVER WILL GREAT SORROW.
AS WILL YOUR JOCK STRAPS.

response #19 by philboy:

      YOUR JOCKSTRAPS WILL SHRINK FROM THE MOISTNESS OF YOUR SHAME

response #22 by Rabrrrrrr:

      THE LIMIT EVEN OF THE SQUARE OF YOUR SCORE STILL WILL NOT APPROACH OUR UNAUGMENTED VALUE

response #58 by MineralMan:

      ESCHEW VIOLENCE! PLAY NICELY!

response #101 by sarge43:

      PRIMUM ET DECEM EST, RURSUM AGENDUM EST! DETRACTUM!
In case they don't teach Latin, "First and ten, do it again! Touchdown!

response #13 by trof:

      Next time try the "Rickety Rackety Ree" cheer.
Rickety Rackety Ree
Hit 'Em In The Knee!
Rickety Rackety Rass
Hit 'Em In The Other Knee!
;-)

response #17 by Rabrrrrrr:

      I used to cheer "BREAK HIS FUCKING BACK WITH AN ILLEGAL MOVE! FUCK EM!!!"
and "AFTER THE GAME WE'RE BURNING YOUR GODDAMN TOWN DOWN YOU FUCKING OUTSIDER SHITBAGS!!!"

and "HE'S DOWN, KICK HIM IN THE HEAD UNTIL HE FUCKING DIES!!!"

And for pom poms I used Jarts which would find themselves accidentally in the bellies of opposing ball carriers. I once doused the opposing side in gasoline and set them on fire; that was one fucking funny homecoming game! Goddamned small town opponents never knew what hit 'em, and then they stopped the game because, and I quote, "A fire in the stands break out killing 78 people in fiery death while one of the cheerleaders, a Mr. Rabrrrrrr, slit the throats of the remaining 308 opposing team fans as they tried to escape". Fuckstains.

I didn't last too long. Not in the provincial shithole I grew up in. Fuckers wanted war, I gave 'em war, and then they suspend *me* for "unsportsmanlike conduct". What the fuck?!

I don't understand the world.

response #41 by DuStrange:

      OUR GAME PLAN WILL CAUSE SUCH ANGUISH...
THAT YOU WILL BE FORCED TO CALL A TIME-OUT DURING THE FIRST QUARTER AND CHOOSE OVERWHELMINGLY TO FORFEIT THE GAME.

response #43 by Rabrrrrrr:

      BY THE THIRD QUARTER YOU WILL BE MUCH MORE TIRED THAN YOU ARE NOW!

response #36 by trof:

      Locking. Excessive use of ALL CAPS.
You guys know better.
I really should be a mod.

response #52 by Oregonian:

      DO YOUR BEST AND HAVE FUN! PARTICIPATION IS THE IMPORTANT THING!

response #55 by turtlensue:

      This thread..it scares me
My mother was in charge of a cheerleading squad and it was NEVER like this..of course the football team never won either... :scared:

response #68 by Pacifist Patriot:

      They just looked at me like I had sprouted horns.
While iambic pentameter wasn't a problem there was a bit of resistance with the haiku. Not to mention my polite requests and three syllable words went over their heads. Even when they were in the pyramid formation.

response #70 by jasonc:

      Here's one I thought up in the shower just now...
WE SHALL REND YOUR SOULS WITH SUCH VIOLENCE AND FEROCITY AS TO LEAVE YOU LOST FOREVER WITH SHAME AS YOUR ONLY COMPANION.

response #73 by DuStrange:

      YOUR SHAMPOO CLEANSES YOUR FOLLICLES...
LEAVING YOUR HAIR SHINY AND LUSTROUS, MAKING YOUR DULL-HAIRED ENEMIES ENVIOUS!

response #90 by philboy:

      THROW THE BALL IN SUCH A MANNER THAT YOUR TEAMMATE CAN CATCH IT!

response #94 by LSK:

      DON'T HIT THEM HARD, WE DON'T WANT THEM TO FALL DOWN!!!!

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

The Lounge, December 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8347409

OP by truthisfreedom:

shoe-ducker.
I got nothin'. Just wanted to say that.

shoe-ducker.

GDP, December 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8023792

On a thread by noel711:

Has Bristol given birth yet?

response #2 by jaksavage:

YES
They immediatly did a paternity test and found out that it was immaculate conception.
Just like the baby jesus, and so they named him Jesus Bob Palin.

GD, December 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4703670

OP by taterguy:

Don't call me numbnuts just because I bike to work when it's 21 degrees outside
Sure, technically it's accurate but it still hurts.

Well, it would hurt if I could feel anything.

:scared:

The Lounge, December 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8348634

OP by ddeclue:

BREAKING: Rick Warren to perform invocation at Obama inauguration topless..
and then perform the miracle of the multiplication of the loaves of Wonder Bread and SPAM for the gays he loves!

brought to you by Conflation News!

:rofl:

GDP, December 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8026484

On a thread by Ichingcarpenter:

      Doing the Hokey Pokey could be a religious hate crime
"The Hokey Cokey ( Pokey is the American word but same song) is an old novelty song that has been sung in music halls, at children's parties and at sherry-fuelled family gatherings for many years.

But according to the Catholic Church and some Scottish politicians, singing the popular tune that begins with the words 'You put your right hand in, your right hand out,' may constitute an act of religious hatred.

A spokesman for the leader of the church in Scotland said the song had disturbing origins.

Critics claim that Puritans composed the song in the 18th century in an attempt to mock the actions and language of priests leading the Latin mass.

Now politicians have urged police to arrest anyone using the song to 'taunt' Catholics under legislation designed to prevent incitement to religious hatred..."

response #6 by Ichingcarpenter:

      I think the "Shakers' have the monopoly on that dance
They were obviously mocking something back then and
at the same time making great furniture.

response #9 by JVS:

      Wow. Now I better understand how to do the hokey pokey. I also know what it's all about!

response #16 by mycritters2:

      That'll leave us only "The Chicken Dance" and "The Macarena" for wedding receptions!
:cry:

response #21 by smokey nj:

      Did the "Electric Slide" die? Why didn't anybody tell me?
:cry:

response #19 by TripleKatPad:

      I have fond memories of doing the hokey-pokey at the roller rink
We lived on the edge of a small town, but there was, miraculously, a roller rink at the end of my dirt road. When I was 10 or so, I walked there every Saturday and paid my 50 cents to spend the afternoon in bliss. And every week we did the hokey pokey on roller skates.

That must explain the pentagram burned into my living room carpet.

GD, December 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4709369

On a thread by eridani:

      The wit and wisdom of Henry Ford
"And now take wages. An unemployed man is an out-of-work customer. He cannot buy. An underpaid man is a customer reduced in purchasing power. He cannot buy. Business depression is caused by weakened purchasing power. Purchasing power is weakened by uncertainty or insufficiency of income. The cure of business depression is through purchasing power, and the source of purchasing power is wages....

Wages is more of a question for business than it is for labor. It is more important to business than it is to labor. Low wages will break business far more quickly than it will labor..."

response #2 by wildbilln864:

      and he also made automobile bodies from marijuana....
how dare he! : :shrug:

response #3 by Hardrada:

      And he said they could buy any color car as long as they were stoned.

GD, December 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4709392

OP by Husb2Sparkly:

      12 times the sociopathic fucking leech has had Christmas at Camp David.
Four times with the old man and eight times on his own dime.

I wish them as nice a Christmas as I am sure they're wishing me.

response #1 by TomInTib:

      I think that dime is ours.
I wonder if he will bless us with a Message the Christmas.

response #2 by Husb2Sparkly:

      I'll be listening to The Fart Noise Channel if he does.

GD, December 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4709419

OP by ddeclue:

      Questions I have about SPAM...
Pardon me while I wax Andy Rooney-esque for a moment but...

What is a SPAM anyways?

Can you hunt SPAMs or are they domesticated?

Do SPAMS get abused in factory farming - you know... kept in little cans?

Are there free range SPAMs?

:rofl:

response #6 by cliffordu:

      Hog foreskins, mostly.
goat lips,

chicken butts.

response #15 by scheming daemons:

      Normally serves 2... but if you rub one JUST right, it serves 4...
;-)

GDP, December 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8026456

On a thread by proud2Blib:

      Here's a new holiday tradition - dress like Jesus!
"Just in time for Christmas, hundreds of people in the Kansas City area have committed to dress like Jesus in the days leading to the holiday, in what they say is an answer to a widening secularization of the season.

Members of Praise Chapel Christian Fellowship began showing up at their jobs, shopping malls and restaurants last week dressed in flowing robes and crowns of thorns as a hard-to-miss reminder of the holiday's religious roots.

Now the idea is generating interest in other states after video of Jesus-clad shoppers was posted on YouTube.

'We are just showing people on the outside what we are on the inside,' said pastor Kelly Lohrke, whose members attend services in Kansas City, Kan., and nearby Lee's Summit, Mo..."

response #3 by Warpy:

      It's also Yule
and the best beloved traditions of the season are from the traditions found here, from gifts to mistletoe.

It's the festival of firelight that runs the 12 darkest days of the year.

However, there's no way I'm going to dress as a Druid. You can't make me.

response #4 by Crunchy Frog:

      I would think you would be dressing like baby Jesus, for Christmas.
People should really be walking around in swaddling clothes with bits of straw sticking to them.

response #10 by The_Commonist:

      You mean they're dressing like a bunch of hippies?
This is one of those stories that really needs pictures!

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

The Lounge, December 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8354406

OP by Ghost in the Machine:

So, Bristol Palin has a baby girl...
Sarah comes to the hospital to visit. The following conversation is overheard:

Sarah: Awww... what did you name her?

Bristol: Her name is Heather Noel

Sarah: Really?? Wow.. I never even knew there *was* an "L" in Heather... *confused look*

:evilgrin:

GD, December 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4710637

OP by Skink:

Let us pause and reflect on the true meaning of DU.
http://www.ducks.org/

The Lounge, December 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8354387

OP by Lastlaughin08:

What's the word from the manger in Wasilla?
I doubt there's much chance of finding a virgin or three wise men up there, but does anyone know if Palin's daughter had the baby yet? Or was there ever a baby to have?

I smell a rat................

response #1 by Solly Mack:

The manger is where they hide the crank and the oxycontin...no room for a babe

GD, December 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4717396

OP by Bucky:

He's not even president yet. So shut up.
He's not even president yet. So shut up.

He's got 103% approval rating. So shut up.

He's not actually implementing the policies you fear. So shut up.

He's going to do a lot of good things. So shut up.

He's trying to bring all Americans together in respect and harmony. So shut up.

He ran as a moderate. So shut up.

He never said "Change" meant doing things your way on your pet issue. So shut up.

Obviously you would have been worse off if McCain had won. So you have no right to complain.

Obama is going to restore the Constitution and the Bill of Rights: balance of powers, checks and balances, no unitary executive, diplomacy before war, due process of law, judicial review of search warrants,

fighting against terrorist networks instead of fighting for oil companies, honoring our treaty obligations, and of course freedom of speech.

That's right, freedom of speech, you big whiner. So shut up.

response #1 by sfexpat2000:

My rw uncle, watching the Watergate hearings:
"This is the ONLY country in the WORLD where you could have this discussion. So don't you EVER criticize this country!"

:)

Special bonus: a bunch of irony-challenged responses...

GD, December 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4716530

Poll question by ColbertWatcher:

What really happened to the Leg Lamp?

:bluebox: Ralphie's mom broke it on purpose

:bluebox: Ralphie's mom broke it, but it was an accident

:bluebox: the Bumpus hounds may have given it a hairline crack

:bluebox: it may have sustained damage during shipping

:bluebox: Other, I will post my theory in reply

:bluebox: Other (explain)

:bluebox: Amused

response #14 by underpants:

Well, truth be told Dad probably would have shot his eye out with it
:shrug:

At press time, "Ralphie's mom broke it on purpose" was winning with 68% of the votes.

The Lounge, December 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8356567

OP by underpants:

A-ha! it was all a trick! It was the "Warren Christmas" not the "War ON Christmas"
Them Republicans sure are tricky

GD, December 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4720314

On a thread by underpants:

      Eyelash-growth drug wins FDA approval
"Allergan Inc., maker of the wrinkle smoother Botox, won U.S. approval to sell the first prescription medicine to enhance dull or thinning eyelashes.

The Food and Drug Administration cleared the solution, called Latisse, after a unanimous recommendation from its outside advisers, Allergan said this morning.

Latisse contains the same main ingredient as Allergans Lumigan, on the market for glaucoma since 2001.

The Irvine, Calif.-based company is targeting Latisse at the $3.7 billion-a-year global market for mascara..."

response #4 by mike_c:

      pubes?
Somebody HAD to go there! :rofl:

response #8 by Rainbowreflect:

      No, you really didn't!
;-)

LBN, December 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3659935

OP by Warren Stupidity:

      I feel compelled to post something condescending and hurtful
and completely non-original. I have no idea why.

response #1 by madeline_con:

      The wise man asks, "Why not?" n/t

response #9 by Solon:

      And I will respond with something equally condescending and hurtful...
and claim it's the only reasonable position to have.

response #10 by leftstreet:

      And I will tell you both to Get Over It �

response #24 by jberryhill:

      Only as long as you hate doing it
Otherwise, you might actually have willed yourself to do it.

But if you hate doing it, and had to drag yourself to the keyboard and post it at gunpoint... well, that's okay then.

GDP, December 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8021914

OP by LSK:

      Ghost Kick this, if you don't know how to ghost kick!
:shrug:

response #5 by Mad_Dem_X:

      LOL - I just did it!

response #6 by KamaAina:

      But that means you DO know how to ghost-kick...
...take it back! Now!

The Lounge, December 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8350098

OP by boppers:

      I have a stunning contrarian thought! I must share it!
It's a totally different perspective, that flies in the face of current group-think!

It's 100% Original, really, it is, so I'll post it for all of you to admire!

:)

response #1 by prodn2000:

      I hadn't thought of that!
Thanks!

:yourock:

response #5 by boppers:

      Kind of changes everything, doesn't it?
Totally changes around one's worldview!

response #6 by prodn2000:

      I am literally banging my head against my desk
WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG FOR SOMEONE TO THINK OF THIS!

:grr: :banghead: :grr: :banghead: :grr: :banghead:

:P

response #2 by FrenchieCat:

      Is that really new?
I could have sworn I had seen something like it before. B-)

response #4 by boppers:

      No no no, I phrased it differently!
I used different sources, too!

response #7 by boloboffin:

      Not this again.
:eyes:

response #13 by lob1:

      Contrarian thought? It's just another strawman.
For proof, just check it out on the innertubes.

response #15 by boppers:

      Which part is the strawman part?

response #18 by lob1:

      The part that's not the Tinman and not the Lion.
Of course, you knew that.

response #15 by boppers:

      Which part is the strawman part?

response #18 by lob1:

      The part that's not the Tinman and not the Lion.
Of course, you knew that.

response #19 by boppers:

      Dorothy?

response #25 by lob1:

      Who?

response #26 by boppers:

      Toto?

response #31 by lob1:

      Excuse me, I really apologize. I just switched brains again.
Acid flashback. It was a Grateful Dead concert in '72. Some dirty hippy slipped some LSD in my LSD. And that dirty hippy's name was...Toto. What goes around, comes around. Thank you, Toto man. I may not

agree with you and the strawman, but I respect your acid. I have to go now and lash myself to the couch.

response #16 by liberalmuse:

      Doh!
I tried to capture your thought in a mason jar, but it got away. Dammit! The Buddha was right!

response #21 by kenny blankenship:

      You know why we never stopped Bush from any of the many disasters he caused?
We weren't NICE ENOUGH to him. Seriously!
If we had just reached out to the other side more often we could have stopped the Iraq War, fixed the economy before it blew chunks, and even got him to sign significant greenhouse gas reduction agreements!

Try a little tenderness next time Democrats. You'd be surprised how far a sparkly smile and sincere How are you? will get you!

response #27 by Hissyspit:

      Can I cross-post this in GD?

response #29 by Ikonoklast:

      I thought of it first, plagiarist!
And the rest of you are just lemmings for following him.

response #30 by sellitman:

      Flame bait if ever I saw one!
Did I see one?

response #34 by boppers:

      I have a new idea better than my old idea!
I'll post it in the same thread.

GDP, December 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8025353

On a thread by Jake3463:

      The mods on this board are good and fair

response #28 by Moderator:

      We picked a bad day to quit sniffing glue.
Sorry about that.

GDP, December 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8015585

On a locked thread by the late give-me-liberty:

      Michelle and Barack's Two Gorgeous Helpers..Yvonne and Valerie....

response #18 by wakemeupwhenitsover:

      Give me liberty or.....?
You got it. Death to give-me-liberty.

Gawd, I'm punch drunk.

beset,
wakemeupwhenitsover

GDP, December 21, 2008

On a locked thread:

      Obama would have voted for Prop8

response #5 by The Magistrate:

      Locking
Flame-Bait of the lowest commercially obtainable grade....

GDP, December 22, 2008

On a thread by Old Crusoe:

      So Rick Warren, Warren Harding, and Warren Beatty walk into a bar.

response #23 by Swamp Rat

GD, December 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4687532

On a thread by Tab:

      Official Bush portraits unveiled

responses #2 & #30 by BrklynLiberal

response #11 by Joe Bacon

response #28 by Submariner

response #14 by dubyadubya3

response #15 by truthisfreedom

response #18 by RubyDuby in GA

response #17 by benld74

response #19 by Xipe Totec

response #20 by Still Sensible

response #50 by sakabatou

response #53 by tom_paine

LBN, December 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3653065

On a thread by IWantAnyDem:

      Rick Warren is an evil man

response #9 by Swamp Rat

GDP, December 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8017049

OP by dmesg:

      OMG!!! THIS IS HUGH!!

The Lounge (moved from GD), December 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8345956

OP by lame54:

      W

GD, December 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4698701

On a thread by philboy:

      I failed cheerleading school.

response #74 by JustABozoOnThisBus

The Lounge, December 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8347409

OP by rug:

      Post a picture from the Star Trek episode that best resembles GDP.

response #1 by rcrush

response #2 by BlueDogDemocratNH

responses #3, #4 & #8 by HypnoToad

response #27 by DarkTirade

response #5 by DuStrange

response #6 by graywarrior

response #7 by leeroysphits

response #12 by deucemagnet

response #13 by Orsino

response #15 by Ikonoklast

response #20 by elshiva

response #23 by WildEyedLiberal

response #25 by pokerfan

The Lounge, December 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8347506

OP by swampg8r:

      is this the current portrait of du?

response #1 by BrklynLiberal

GDP, December 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8022105

On a thread by Amerigo Vespucci:

      Boston Globe: "Rick Warren loves gays, and more"

response #8 by Swamp Rat

GD, December 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4709384

OP by kayakjohnny:

      I know a lot of people will see this as flamebait, but I'm just going to post it anyway....

GD, December 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4713911

OP by Prisoner_Number_Six:

      Proof that I looked exactly like Ralphie the "Christmas Story" kid

response #7 by Oeditpus Rex

The Lounge, December 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8355682

OP by babylonsister:

      X-mas just happened here, and I want to share.

GDP, December 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8032794

On a thread by proud2Blib:

      Here's a new holiday tradition - dress like Jesus!

response #25 by FloridaJudy

The Lounge, December 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8354406

On a thread by DeepModem Mom:

      Poll: 75% glad Bush is done; "Good riddance."

response #27 by izquierdista

LBN, December 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3659931