What experiences have you had with the religious right/lunatic fringe? (repost from other board)

[Rocknrule]

What experiences have you had with the religious right/lunatic fringe? They can be wacko comments, brief encounters, anything that helps illustrate the levels of bisarre beliefs/behavior out there. I'm talking about fundamentalist co-workers, family members, childhood memories of those of us raised in the fundie world. Tell where they occurred(city or state). For example, here are some I've heard from others. . .

At a public school where I taught (Texas) I came upon the school librarian going through a Harry Potter book with a black marker, crossing out words she didn't like.

In another school (Kingman, Az), I had some magazines in the classroom. One day a student (2nd grader) started slashing with scissors at a picture of Ross Perot(this was during the 1992 election campaign)-because he supported "killing
babies."

At that same Az school a mother of some new students came to visit. She asked if she could talk to prospective teachers and was given the okay. Her one and only question for each of the 3rd and 5th grade staff: Do you support abortion rights? Anyone who was non-committal (the most common response) was glared at before the mom stomped off.

I once asked a principal if I could get a key to the building for the week-end as I needed to catch up on a ton of work. She only consented if I would promise to not be there Sunday morning as it wouldn't be good if a community member drove by and saw someone clearly not in church! This was Texas.

[qwlauren35]

1. Do Jehovahs Witnesses Count?

Actually, I've had a few, especially as a Buddhist.

1.) Do you realize that you're going to hell? What will you do/think when you die and that moment comes and you realize that you were wrong?

2.) Do you realize that no self-respecting black man will EVER marry you?

3.) Don't you want to be saved?

The second one cut very, very deep. The other two didn't have nearly as much of an effect. I think I tried really hard to accept the idea of the Christian "God"... and I just couldn't do it. Even though I have a sense that there is "something", it just doesn't fit what's in the Bible.

[SemperEadem]

19. I'd have looked at that person and said

to #1.: "until the day happens when you go to the other side and can return to reanimate your cold, dead body and report what happens when you die, then you, too, have no clue about what happens at the moment you die other than your body ceases to function. No one knows what happens once they've crossed the divide. All is speculation and no one knows if they're right or wrong until that moment, including you. It is not a requirement of me to live by your narrow standards. But the larger question is: what does the condition of my soul have to do with you? How does it diminish your existence on earth if I choose not to believe what you do? The condition of my soul is between me and God and you have no place in that relationship. What you think doesn't matter, fallible human. Your 'concern' is actually pride, which goes before destruction and the haughty spirit before the fall."

to #2.: You cannot speak for anyone but yourself. Besides, what if I don't want to marry anyone ever?

to #3.: Jesus saves, but I invest.

[qwlauren35]

2. Deleted - duplicate of previous.

Deleted - duplicate of previous.

[Sammy Pepys]

3. Nothing terribly weird.....

I've felt a little awkward at times having to answer questions about religion or that the conversation was so religion-intensive (for no discernible reason), but I've never been made to feel ashamed or anything, and I've never witnessed any outrageous behavior like blacking out books.

As for this:
I once asked a principal if I could get a key to the building for the week-end as I needed to catch up on a ton of work. She only consented if I would promise to not be there Sunday morning as it wouldn't be good if a community member drove by and saw someone clearly not in church! This was Texas.

Um, if everyone is in church why would they be driving by the school? Wouldn't that mean they're also not in church?

[qwlauren35]

5. They would be on their way to church.

Funny thing is, there are folks who go to evening services. But they are usually Catholic, and maybe that doesn't count in Texas.

[JuniperLea]

4. Born and raised Fundie

And have five cousins living in Israel as Christian Missionaries. Ask me anything. Sheesh. It's a wonder I can function in the real world!

:p

I nearly walked out of my Aunt's church a couple of years ago when the pastor started praying in support of GWB, and asked God to "open the eyes of the anti-war protesters"... I never got over that... asking The Prince of Peace to intervene with peace protestors.

A couple of cousins and I were having a political discussion on our family website and that same Aunt (whom I truly do love dearly) posted that the administrator should "take all this crap off the family site". I got a real tongue lashing from a 20-year-old Fundie cousin who has clearly succumbed to the Kool Aid poisoning. She threw everything at me from "fight them over there so we don't have to fight them here" and "you are emboldening the enemy" and "you are ruining our troops' moral." Right down the list. One of the cousins actually posted links and snips from FreeRepublic!!! I had to counter with a few choice links and snips about the owner of said site. All the Freeper crap mysteriously disappeared after that and even the cousin who posted the stuff agreed the guy is a loon.

I could go on like this for days...



Edited because I can't seem to spell today to save my life!

[ret5hd]

27. All churches should be like school...

i've always thought you should be able to politely raise your hand and ask questions.

"Pastor Smith, why are you asking the Prince of Peace to smite peace protestors?"

[JuniperLea]

30. Oh, boy! It's like you were there!

LOL!!

The church elders hated seeing me in Bible study! And they hated the rock 'n roll I introduced in my music ministry... some said that beat came straight from the depths of hell! Yikes! I told them that God works in mysterious ways and that my music is a big draw for the church. I asked what the punishment might be for mistaking God's works for that of the Devil, because that must surely be a sin!

They didn't like my questions at all when I was a kid!

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

6. "Bush is the Second Coming of Christ!"

This is what a child yelled at us while we protested going into war in 2003. His mother had driven around the courthouse square yelling about how un Christian we were. He got out of the van and came over to us and let us know why. I didn't notice her at our demonstration at the courthouse square last Saturday, and wonder if she and her son still think Bush is the Second Coming.


My husband was once hired by a born again Fundamentalist. The first day at work, the boss asked my husband what he thought of Jesus Christ. My husband asked, "Do you mean the historical Jesus or the Christ Spirit?" The man backed away, making the sign of the cross, saying, "Jesus is the only God there ever was or will be!!!" My husband was let go a couple of months later--a "good Christian" man was kept on. Interestingly enough, the "good Christian" took the boss to court, claiming to have been injured on the job. My husband knew this wasn't the case, because the fellow had told him how he had gotten injured and asked for a name of a chiropractor two weeks before the alleged accident. So hubby called his old boss and told him--and the "good Christian" employee stopped the suit.

[silverweb]

7. Nothing much, since I avoid them as much as possible.

Some have come to my door to invite me to church or bible studies or whatever, and I've just declined and closed the door.

The only really harrowing experience was the dental hygienist who got me in a headlock with her instruments busy in my mouth, then started preaching at me while I was thus disabled. I never went back to that office.

On edit: Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. I worked for a pair of fundies for a while many, many years ago. They were generally okay, though their business practices often contradicted their stated beliefs. Just your usual run-of-the-mill hypocrites, though nothing extraordinary. At least they didn't preach in the office or question me about my beliefs.

[SemperEadem]

20. You should have reported her to the state licensing board

if for no other reason that it's in her record.

[Rocknrule]

8. Well, I have nothing against Jesus himself but

life on my college campus is often saturated in religion. Of course, we have the mandatory fundie preacher that shows up every so often to rant and rave at us, but there are times when I can't even walk back to my dorm without being harassed by evangelicals, who, of course, are obsessed with homosexuality and abortion and believe that God is too.

I also came across a website that said "Don't like America's Christian principles? Call 1-800-LEAVE-USA." In other words, if you're not Christian, get the fuck out of America. :puke:

[Seabiscuit]

9. None, thankfully. I avoid them like the plague. Not worth speaking to.

If I'm at some gathering and I hear some stranger here or there yapping that religious or right-wing crap, I make a point of never introducing myself, or if I'm forcefully introduced by someone else, I say hello, then say I need to heed a nature call and disappear to the bathroom for a few minutes, then leave.

[flamin lib]

10. I'm mowing my yard one day and the next door neighbor wanders

over and I take a break. He tells me the atheists are ruining America, that they want to take away all the guns, remove God from the country, steal his rights and outlaw his bible.

So I put on my best affectation of sincere sorrow and say, "Man, I'm sorry about that. Tell you what, I'll stop doing all that as soon as I finish mowing my yard." Left him standing there with his mouth open and face brilliant red.

Then there were the fundies who came to may door and wanted to witness to me over the bible. At the time my wife was a devout Episcopalian (mixed marriage ya' know) and was doing the clergy's laundry. So I said, "Why sure, just come on in, I'll be with ya' in a minute." When I came back wearing the Priest's robes and carrying the prayer book the conversation got real short.

Once a woman came to my door with her 5-6 year old son and wanted to witness to me. I said I didn't do that sort of thing, trying to be kind in front of her kid, but then she said she'd pray for me. I said I'd pray for her too and my gods were bigger and older than her God. She pulled her kid close and all the blood drained from her face as I gently closed the door.

I'm a live and let live kinda' guy, but I'll give as good as I get.

[Jonathan50]

17. That's truly hilarious..... Thanks for posting..

"When I came back wearing the Priest's robes and carrying the prayer book the conversation got real short."

We had a neighbor right across the street who was really nice and sweet but a religious fruitcake. She kept inviting us to church and bible study for years. We finally gave in and started going to bible study with a small group at her house.

They were quite shocked when I read the King James bible better than any of them, I read aloud to my daughter for many years and I'm really quite good at it. Plus I have a fairly deep voice and as a former Marine I know how to make my voice project an air of command.

We didn't go too many times but it was fun to let them know little things like the gospels weren't written until nearly fifty years after Jesus' death and so forth. They had no clue..

[flamin lib]

23. This stuff can be handled with humor and not hurt too many feelings.

They have a right to believe as they will and sometimes that belief requires spreading the good news. When they stop following Christ's advice and don't "kick the dust from their feet" as they leave my door things can get tense.

I had one fellow worker who insisted on inserting his Christianity into my life, or face if you will. Having it "up to here" I said, "Okay, let me get this straight; Jesus preached poverty and you have a bank account and credit cards. This guy was born without the act of sex, died and got up three days later only to disappear again. Now you remember him by wearing a cross; aren't you glad it was the Romans instead of the Nazis who killed him? Otherwise you'd be wearing a gold shower head. Next thing you tell me you celebrate him by practicing ritualized cannibalism and vampirism by eating his body and drinking his blood. All this and you think I'm destined for hell?"

The difference between them and me is that I KNOW I'm wrong.

[valerief]

11. Years ago, I worked at a place that had a psycho finance director.

He was 40ish, good-looking, married, and had the filthiest mouth you ever heard to tell sexist, good ol' boy-type jokes. That was rude, but it didn't really bother me. However, you never knew when he'd be set off on a religious diatribe, complete with bible quoting and preaching. What came out of his mouth one minute didn't jibe with what came out of it the next. People that unstable make me nervous, so I left the place for another job.

[TlalocW]

12. Mainly family members

And mainly through emails. What's funny is that my mom normally sends them to me because she knows I will reply all and debunk it.

Once, my then high-schooled-aged niece sent out a mass email about stupid quotes, and all the Dan Quayle quotes were attributed to Al Gore. I replied all and corrected them then made a joke about if you wanted stupid quotes just look at George W's track record. That got me an email from a classmate of hers who claimed that he was going to, "stomp a mudhole in my chest for being a liberal traitor." I thought it was funny, and we emailed back and forth a lot - mainly my pissing him off, and his ranting a lot and demanding to know where I lived (I'm unlisted). I told him that I visited his town often, and I would be more than happy to meet him at the local McDonalds, buy him a Happy Meal, and then go out to the parking lot and let him stomp that mudhole in my chest, but he never took me up on it. Eventually, I asked my niece about him, and she asked why so I told her what was going on. She said I was 3 times bigger than he was (I lifted weights, and it turned out he was a pretty scrawny dope fiend - go figure), and she took a picture of me to school to show him. He never emailed me after that.

And the reason I'm unlisted is because I once wrote a letter to the editor about an article by one of Oklahoma's then-senators Don Nickels (I live in Tulsa). Donny claimed that everything bad in America was Clinton's fault, and all we had to do was look at everything happening in the world, and he listed some things including the Randy Weaver incident. I wrote a letter to the editor saying that the Randy Weaver thing happened under George H. W. Bush's watch, not Clinton, and it would be nice that in the midst of making a political attack, he could try not to look like an idiot by mixing up relatively recent current events. A week later, I had a care package in my mailbox from a local white supremacy group, including their quarterly newsletter (with notes written in the margin accusing me of such horrible things as being a gun-stealer and liking Hillary), a flier about how the most endangered animal in America is the white woman, etc. Fortunately, I knew from research I had done for school papers that this particular group are mainly comprised of old Bubbas who go out to the woods, shoot beer cans, and fantasize about jumping on the tail-end of "the coming race-war," so they don't actually have to endanger themselves so I wasn't worried. I didn't care to get more literature like that though so I went unlisted.

I did make the grandson of Fred Phelps leave a chat room (that's actually under one of the Top Ten's on DU). Briefly, I told him that if AIDS is a scourge against homosexuals and other people that God doesn't like, and since lesbians have one of the lowest infection rates of any group, that proves by his logic that God really likes lesbians. Loves them in fact. I further pointed out that this could be proof that God really is a man because all the men I know love lesbians. He "screamed" various things at me then signed off, and I was hero of the chat room because he had been there for over an hour railing against homosexuals, and they couldn't get rid of him.

When the Phelps clan came to Tulsa to protest a gay pride picnic, I got across from them and displayed two signs - God Is Love and Fred Phelps Is a Wanker. Two of the men put down their signs and walked to the curb and waited for traffic to let up so they could cross the street to talk to me but thought better of it after I took out my juggling torches and lit them and started juggling. Guess they didn't want to mess with a guy bigger than them that had fire. :) A college kid came by, talked to them then came over and talked to me - he was honestly interested in both sides of the issue but was tending to side with the Phelps based on the Bible, and I gave him, as well as a local evangelist, a history about the Bible. The evangelist tried to make points but eventually couldn't keep up with me, and I could see the gears in the kid's head rumble to life a little bit.

TlalocW

[mwb970]

13. A fundie co-worker machine-gunned Hillary in front of his daughter.

It was "bring your daughter to work day" and he had his 12-year-old there. Spotting the life-size cutout of Hillary I had in my office at that time, he said "Here's what we do to people like her" and then mimed shooting her down with a machine gun.

I wonder what Biblical lesson he was trying to convey to his daughter with that.

[TlalocW]

14. I keep coming up with more - but then I live in Tulsa...

When I was thinking of moving here, the owners of the placement agency I went through to find a job told me, "Well, we just pray that you'll find a good job and be a success," and I thought they were wishing me good luck and was about to thank them until they actually started praying. They stopped and looked at me - I had a big grin to cover up my shock, and I didn't say anything so they started praying again. When they stopped and looked at me again, I said, "Amen," and that stopped them. They referred to me as Brother James, and I was worried that's what the people at the company I was placed at would call me, but my manager said not to worry - that was just their particular weirdness.

Once at a large Cinco de Mayo fiesta, a woman came up to me and asked if I knew if there were any parks nearby. The music was hurting her ears, and she wanted to get away from it for a while. I gave her directions to one, and she smiled, thanked me, and asked, "If you were to die today, do you know where you would go?" I said, "Yes, to Heaven where Jesus and I would talk about why you feel the need to misrepresent yourself in order to attempt to browbeat people about your religion." She was rather hurt by that, but it had the desired effect - she left me alone. :)

One time, I offended someone without realizing it, and I was sorry about it even though I found it funny. I'm a magician on the side, and I needed some small manila envelopes for a trick, and I knew that a Christian stationary store in Tulsa would have them. So I went in and asked the nice elderly lady where I could find them. She took me to them and asked me what they were for (I think she thought I was a youth minister or something), and forgetting where I was, I said, "A magic trick." I noticed she visibly stiffened so, feeling evil, I went on and described the trick as one where I lay out five cards and a poker chip, bet five dollars I can predict the card a spectator will pick, and have him or her move the poker chip in front of the card at which time I reveal my prediction. If only I could have worked sex into it as I already had magic and gambling taken care of... :)

TlalocW

[silverweb]

15. LOL

You get lots and lots of practice!

I especially like the way you handled the Cinco de Mayo fiesta lady and am making a point of remembering that response. :D

I found the lady in the stationery store very offensive. What the hell business is it of hers what you want to buy envelopes for? You handled it very imaginatively and very effectively; I would have just bluntly said, "that's my business." I really despise nosey, intrusive people.

[TlalocW]

22. She wasn't offensive

She was just a grandmotherly type that probably thought I was a youth minister and wanted to know what church I belonged to. I'm pretty conservative looking so I fool a lot of people. :)

TlalocW

[silverweb]

26. Well, in that case...

Okay. Her demeanor would indicate a lot, of course.

:)

[ret5hd]

28. Another good response is:

"Don't tell me you're a christian. Let me figure it out for myself."

[Atman]

16. Family

In laws are born-agains. They only listen to Christian music; of course sex and nudity are horrible, but they LOVE violent movies; every picture in their house has a bible verse under it, but they keep a can of mace by the front door because of all the bad people out there (they live in a beautiful five-bedroom home on the intracoastal waterway). The own about six CD's and they're all Amy Grant and shit like that. Hubby is a "rocket scientist," literally, which I can never figure out. How can he be a scientist and a born-again? He's been passed over for promotions so many times, and never gets invited "out with the boys" and can't understand why. Could it be that he's such a barrel of laughs to be around? They contribute massive amounts of money to their huge arena-style mega-church, but think any other charity goes to crazy liberal druggies and such.

There you go. But despite all this, we get along well, because we agree that our views are so disparate, we don't try to "convert" each other. Or maybe it's because we only see them every four or five years.

.

[treestar]

18. Some date back years, but here goes

When I was 13, in the early 70s, a friend from school invited me to go bowling with her church group.

We were all teenagers in the group. Either before or after we went bowling, we got a little speech from the pastor, I suppose it was. He informed us that "You, teenager, will not live to be 30." He promised us none of us would see age 30, because the Second Coming would occur before that.

I wish I could find him and ask him why I'm 47.

When I was in my first year of college, after a long, hard day signing up for classes (back then we had to wait in lines with cards in the gym, where it was really, really, hot - August) and I was miles away from home for the first time in my life and a freshman, etc., etc., as I came out, finally finished with it all, a girl came up to me and asked, "Do you think that if you died tonight, you would have eternal life?"

And these were in the 70s, before the fundies took center stage!

[Der Blaue Engel]

25. "You, teenager, will not live to be 30...."

I was told that regularly as a child, and was also told that I should be prepared for the tribulation, since they weren't sure whether the rapture was pre-, mid-, or post-trib, and I would probably be imprisoned and tortured to death unless I denounced Christ.

When I was 7, they showed us the movied "A Thief in the Night," wherein a backslidden or nonbelieving woman is left behind while her husband is raptured, and has to deal with the tribulation. Every time I came home from school after that I would be terrified if no one was home, thinking it had happened.

I could go on and on about the shit those people did that messed me up, but those two were biggies. To this day, I feel unable to cope with adulthood to some degree, because I wasn't supposed to be one.

[MountainLaurel]

31. Same here

I used to pray that the rapture would come by the time I graduated from high school so that I wouldn't have to worry about paying for college. Everything around me was measured in whether the rapture might come: Would I have to buy a new bottle of contact lens solution before the rapture came? Would I go to college before the rapture came?

And once, when I was about 16, I had a full-blown panic attack because I couldn't find either my mother or my grandmother one evening. My neighbors, who went to the same church, weren't home so I couldn't check there. (They had gone to the grocery store without telling me.) I ran a mile across town to get to my grandmother's to see if it really had happened, and found them just getting back. My mom couldn't understand why I sat down and sobbed on the steps for 10 minutes (from relief). I was embarrassed to tell her what I had thought had happened.

A child's worst fear is abandonment, and these freaks prey on that fear to get converts. I knew of a church camp once where an elaborate prank was played, in which certain kids thought to be unsaved were the only ones to show up to chapel one evening. The rest, including the "counselors" and "teachers," hid in the woods. The goal was to frighten the unsaved into thinking the rapture had happened.

[MountainLaurel]

21. As a child, I attended a fundie church

My parents never really attended, and that's probably what saved my from being completely brainwashed. But mix hereditary anxiety problems with a tendency to think everything was my fault (an oldest child thing), and you got a kid who was deathly afraid of going to hell: the perfect target for people who like to mindfuck children in the name of god. Among the things I learned in church (during the 1980s):

* AIDS was a gift from god to rid the planet of the homosexual scourge.
* Mental illness really didn't exist, but any problems could be solved with a lack of faith and prayer. Psychology was a symptom of secular society's selfishness. (Now, having been present when a family member had a breakdown, I knew this was a crock by the time I was 8 years old.)
* Interracial marriage was a sin.
* The main reason why a woman should go to college (and only a Christian college) was to meet a good Christian man to marry and breed with.
* If you took communion without being pure in your heart, it was likely god would strike you dead where you sat.

And all this was taught in a pretty white church that was one of the oldest in the state, by a handsome young man with a beautiful family who gave all appearances of being a loving, friendly, and fun person. Hence, my fervent belief that folks like Phelps are just the ugly face for what you might hear taught in any number of normal-looking churches on a Sunday morning.

[TlalocW]

29. In high school

My older brother (2 years older) started attending the Baptist church in town and became pretty fundamentalist - would only listen to Stryper, had a bunch of "Left Behind" knock-offs (not the actual ones, but books by other people jumping on the money train), bragged about converting a Jehovah Witness, and tried to prove himself the biggest Christian in the school by wearing a sweatshirt that had the Pepsi logo on it (the red and blue wavy things separated by white) with the word, "Jesus," where Pepsi normally was and would make a federal case if anyone looked at him weird for that.

Mom and Dad were older than most of our classmates' parents. They had pretty much raised my two sisters (born in the 50s) when my brother and I showed up in the 70s, and they took a lot of things in stride, including all of our crazy phases. He eventually mellowed out, and while he's fiscally conservative, he's more socially liberal.

One of my sisters though is quite conservative (in fact her whole family is). In 1991 (I was a high school senior), when Operation Rescue came to Wichita, Kansas (close to where we all lived), she mentioned something about going to a Phil Donohue show that was going to be filmed there and asked me if I wanted to go, and I said no as I was pro-choice, which shocked her, and she actually "told on me" to mom. Mom's pretty liberal, and she just looked at her and said, "What do you want me to do about it? I raised all you kids to think for yourselves!"

TlalocW

[niyad]

24. where to start--since I live down the road from fungus and new life--plus, I encounter the whack job

anti-choicers each week at planned parenthood, and watch them trying to ruin our schools (like getting planned parenthood banned from giving a reproductive health lecture in the schools, trying to stop the gay-straight alliance, etc., etc)

oh, and being told I am going straight to hell, as I am a practicing pagan. yes, we love our little fundie whack jobs.

[earth mom]

32. When I was a kid, I tried to be friends with a couple of fundie girls across the street...

Didn't know what I was in for! They borrowed my clothes and never returned them-I had to go into their closets and get my own clothes that were now worn out! One of them smoked and stole from the local stores and was wild with boys-I was a good kid and was shocked and confused by her un-christian like behavior. They stabbed me behind my back numerous times but I was too naive and too desperate to be friends to see what they were all about. When I was a teen, our family moved thousands of miles away for a year, so I gave my dolls to their little sister for safe keeping because I couldn't bring everything with me. I said I would be back for my dolls in a year. Guess what? That little evil goddamn brat wouldn't give me my childhood dolls back! :grr:

[PhilipShore]

33. I see the religious right wing fringe primarly...

only when I turn on the TV, the radio or read the newspapers -- so I avoid the media as much as possible, by turning off the TV, radio, and I have stopped reading the newspapers.