Late-Night Political Jokes for Dems

[Amy6627]

"Today is the fourth anniversary of the war in Iraq. When asked about it, President Bush said, 'See, and people said it would never last.'" --Conan O'Brien

"It's March Madness. I know people go crazy for this. ... It's the time of year when college basketball teams are eliminated faster than U.S. attorneys." --Bill Maher

"The White House keeps changing its story about who fired these U.S. attorneys. First it was the Justice Department, then it was Harriet Miers ... and the new e-mails released yesterday suggest it's Karl Rove's idea. ... Of course the problem with e-mails is you think you've erased them and then they're still there. Which is why President Bush writes all his memos on an Etch-E-Sketch." --Bill Maher

"The big rumor is that Newt Gingrich may run for president. Newt Gingrich has the best reason to stay out of the Mid East -- he knows they stone adulterers." --Jay Leno

"Military contractor Halliburton announced this week that it is moving its corporate headquarters from Houston, Texas, to Dubai. A Halliburton spokesman said Dubai was chosen because of its convenient location just outside the long arm of the law." --Amy Poehler

"Is America ready for a black president? Why not, we just had a retarded one! -- Chris Rock

"Alberto Gonzales has gotten into trouble for firing eight U.S. attorneys for what appears to be political reasons. President Bush said today he still has confidence in Gonzales -- the same confidence he had in Rumsfeld, Scooter Libby, and Michael Brown of FEMA." --Jay Leno

"The head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Peter Pace, now says he regrets what he said about gays in the military. He's now blaming it on his two head speechwriters Tim Hardaway and Isaiah Washington." --Jay Leno

"The California legislature announced that they have moved their state's presidential primary from June to February. When asked why, a California lawmaker said, 'Because it's really fun to hear Governor Schwarzenegger try to say 'February.'" --Conan O'Brien

"People are really angry about ... a web site that encourages people to vote for the worst singer. I mean, this is not a joke. We're voting for the next 'American Idol' here. This is not some kind of game. ... I know it was funny when we reelected President Bush, but this is serious." --Jimmy Kimmel

"The administration is still taking a lot of heat for firing eight U.S. attorneys. That shows you how unpopular this administration is -- when the people are siding with the lawyers." --Jay Leno

"People in Washington are now calling for Attorney General Alberto Gonzales to resign. To give you an idea of how much trouble he is in, the White House is now thinking of replacing him with Scooter Libby." --Jay Leno

"President Bush is safely back from his tour of Latin America. He said it really opened up his eyes. He said, 'We thought we had a lot of illegal immigrants here, they're all over the place down there.'" --Jay Leno

"March Madness NCAA Basketball. ... Here's how it works: You start with 65, then that goes down to 64, then it's 32, and then it's 16 ... no, that's presidential candidates." --David Letterman

"If you want to get rid of an attorney, you don't use Gonzales, you bring in Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno

[Swede]

1. Good stuff.

Thanks for this.

[hobbit709]

2. Last night Leno said

"A new study shows that exercise makes you smarter. Thank goodness that bush works out a lot"

[Amy6627]

4. Good one! n/t

[Breeze54]

3. LMAO!

:kick: & R'd!

"Is America ready for a black president? Why not, we just had a retarded one!

-- Chris Rock --

:rofl: :rofl: