Love Story: Homeless alcoholic and teacher marry, change each other's lives

[mnhtnbb]

On the front page of our Raleigh News & Observer this morning--with a big picture of
Pony Cook and Barbara Abbey being married--was a story to make you believe in Love. The cynic
in me wonders how long this will last, but the romantic in me is warmed by the story. And
the opportunist in me wonders how long before the story shows up on screen? Nick Nolte to play
Pony? Kathy Bates to play Barbara?

Congratulations to the newly married pair.


Here's the story:



RALEIGH -- Pony Cook no longer swallows mouthwash to get drunk. He doesn't disrupt church, panhandle the mothers of pre-schoolers in the car pool line, inject heroin, dig for his dinner in trash cans or sleep behind them. This is because of a woman, mostly.

On New Year's Eve, Cook wore a jacket and tie and stood with his fiancee, Barbara Abbey, in the church where they met. The couple held hands in front of more than 60 family members and friends. They faced each other and promised that, in sickness and in health, they would endure together.

Then they kissed, and everyone clapped. It was a congratulatory moment, but one of encouragement, too. The coming year will be unlike any either has faced.

All relationships are built on trust, but this one has required new levels of it. When she met him, Cook was a blank slate. He had no driver's license, no birth certificate, no baby pictures or connections to home.

http://www.newsobserver.com/102/story/1354143.html

[mnhtnbb]

1. Aw, c'mon, DU. Doesn't this deserve comment?

Will they beat the odds for marriages ending in divorce? Will Pony be able to stay off the booze?
Has Barbara lost her mind? Does anybody know anyone like this couple? How have they fared?

:shrug:

[OneGrassRoot]

2. Yes, it does! :)

I wish them all the happiness in the world. An open mind can lead to an open heart, and from there all manner of ills can be healed.

Beautiful...thank you for sharing!

[Liberal_in_LA]

3. sweet story. I wish them the best.

[glowing]

4. Whatever makes one happy. Seems like they have an interesting story and

hopefully a great life. I wish them the best luck.

BTW: thats what Christian is supposed to mean..

[mnhtnbb]

5. Posted to balance the story of a Dad who kills his child to avoid paying child support

[opihimoimoi]

6. Will Pony get and HOLD a Job....? That would be a big step....otherwise..

the deal will last until her savings are spent....

[mnhtnbb]

7. Alone at home all day puts him at great risk for a return to drinking.

[glowing]

8. Why? She was single before and her daughters are grown. If he's a Vet

he ought to be getting some kind of compensation.. I'm assuming that he's near the age of retirement. I mean John McCain was 72. What would you have him do? AND she knows what she got when she married him. He seems to be a fine tinkerer.. perhaps he could turn to hand-crafted pieces of furniture or something along those lines.

[malaise]

9. Lovely story

I wish them luck - I always have sympathy for veterans with drinking problems.

[Berry Cool]

10. I hope for their sake that it works out.

It's hard to throw cold water on a story like this one. It's true that it plays somewhat into the myth (definitely a dangerous one to believe) that "all a man on the wrong road needs is the love of a good woman." (Many a good woman has wasted a lot of time and effort trying to prove that one.) But at base it seems in this case it's more about one person needing another person to just see him as a person.

It may actually be a good thing that she doesn't seem to be expecting him to conduct his life radically differently from the past. He's stopped drinking, and stopped panhandling, but it's not as if she's demanding he put on a suit and go out and work for a living, which could be something that after all these years, might be too radical a change for him. If she's happy supporting him, and he's happy living with her, it could work. And it genuinely doesn't look as if he's using her; it's not as if he tried to sweet-talk her into taking him in. A scam artist he isn't.

If it doesn't turn out, it'll only be because the change of living in one house with one person was too radical for him to make, and he didn't know it.

I hope it does, though.

[mnhtnbb]

11. I'm rooting for them. We have a lot of homeless people in the Triangle area (NC)

I think it's a national disgrace. It does make you wonder how many of them would be capable of change
if they were treated with respect, consideration and love.

[aikoaiko]

12. A train wreck waiting to happen.....

...but I'm always impressed when people fall in love and commit to each other despite all the good reasons not to. Love is poweful thing and sometimes people beat the odds to live wonderful lives together.

[mnhtnbb]

13. The romantic in me wants to hope they will make it.

[DevonRex]

14. That's a lovely story. I hope he's in a 12 step program and goes to

meetings. That will greatly increase his chance of staying sober.

[mnhtnbb]

15. I agree.

[redqueen]

16. Aw, what a sweet story...

sad though, because for me personally, it mostly serves to highlight my cynicism.

Ah well, I wish them only the best.

[MrsBrady]

17. my opinion fwiw

from the story:

"In the spring of 2007, he spent a week in detox at a Veterans Administration hospital and came to stay with her after that. He has been there ever since.
Cook doesn't work, which is OK with Abbey, who worries what might happen if he worked on a crew with drinking men. He has a routine at home, walking the couple's dog every morning, watching TV and diligently piecing together models of the muscle cars he loves. The only money he asks for is for cigarettes and the occasional lottery ticket. He even wears some of the same clothes he wore on the street, including a Hooter's T-shirt she keeps hiding from him"

He'll stay sober as long as he can. Like most people with drinking problems that I have known, he means it when he says he will stay sober...but they usually "can't" without some kind of program.
And this sounds like a nice project for her, somebody she can fix and take care of. It will work as long as he is willing to do anything she says. Let's see how long that lasts.
He's not working, "she worries about him being around drinkers", she's hiding clothes from him?
sounds "healthy" :sarcasm: to me.

This is a classic set up for alcoholic disaster. I wish them well, but wishes and love don't make people get or stay sober.
Been there, done that, grew up with it, got the t-shirt.

Hopefully I'm wrong.

[mnhtnbb]

18. If he's almost two years sober, I think their chances improve. Hiding the clothes

may be a game they play. After all, I'd be inclined to hide a Hooters t-shirt, too, if I didn't just
put it in the thrift shop donation bag first.

[applegrove]

19. Good for him. Good for her. Best of luck in their new life together.