He started getting nervous when his boss began scheduling meetings around the rapture

[NNN0LHI]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070313/us_nm/usa_religion_rapture_dc;_ylt=A0WTUdo67QJG9TgBaCA7Xs8F

Moderate Christians fight rapture with Sunday school

CINCINNATI (Reuters) - Real estate agent Dave Eschenbach is an active member of his church, but he feels uncomfortable around a sizable portion of U.S. Christians -- those who believe they could be transported to heaven at any moment.

Several years ago, Eschenbach had a boss who scheduled meetings around the rapture, the term for an event that around 20 percent of U.S. Christians believe is imminent.

"One day he announced to the employees that they probably wouldn't be there next week because of the rapture," Eschenbach said of his former boss. "His church had decided that the rapture would happen that week."

The belief has been fueled by the bestselling "Left Behind" novels, which tell how Christian believers will soon be whisked to heaven -- leaving clothes, dental fillings and eye-glasses behind -- while others are left behind to fight the anti-Christ in preparation for the return of Jesus Christ.

Eschenbach is a member of Cincinnati's Episcopal Christ Church Cathedral, a mainstream Protestant church. When it hosted a Webcast of a New York conference on rapture theology, he and about 50 others signed up to participate.

[Horse with no Name]

1. I was told I was going to Hell by one of my co-workers

who was discussing being raptured.
I asked if I could have her car.:)

[Solly Mack]

2. That thread title is priceless!!!

"He started getting nervous when his boss began scheduling meetings around the rapture"

Great opening sentence for a book

[gatorboy]

3. The "Left Behind" marketing is genius!

Left Behind Author: "Prepare...FOR THE RAPTURE!"

Sheep: "When? Oh, when????"

Left Behind Author: "Find out.......When you buy our next book! Or maybe the one after that..."

[tanyev]

21. Yeah, I guarantee you the Rapture will not happen until LaHaye and Jenkins

have milked every penny they can out of those books.

[kestrel91316]

23. Out of curiosity, or perhaps sheer masochism, I once read the first

book in the Left Behind series.

It's embarrassingly simplistic, juvenile, and poorly written. Full of blatant stereotyping, and it's some of the worst "literature" I've ever read outside of a porno novel I peeked at in the 70s.

Says a lot about the intellectual level of its fans........

[Jacobin]

4. Bwahahaha. Druids and Soothsayers!!

This country is soooo fucked.

[rhiannon55]

18. Hey, some of my best friends are Druids (really)

and they don't believe in that rapture crap. They love the earth and don't sit around fantasizing about leaving.

And, unlike fundies, they drink some FINE whiskey! :toast:

[Nikki Stone1]

5. Moderate Christians should be called "Sane" Christians

The Rapture Fundies are mentally ill.

[TlalocW]

6. Man, I hope that after the rapture

I'm in an area where there where the fundy Christian and poor dental hygiene segments of society overlap so I can just go around and pick up the fillings. Maybe with enough tooth gold, I'll be able to survive the torment that comes.

TlalocW

[kimmerspixelated]

10. Good One!

[sandnsea]

7. Back during the Inquisition

Jews lied about being Christian in order to be able to do business with the majority society. Then, we had the holocaust where Jews were once again attacked economically. I'm certain there are other examples. This is why people should keep their religion out of the marketplace. You shouldn't have to sacrifice the basic necessity of working to survive because your culture has been overrun with religious nutballs.

[MGKrebs]

8. What if the rapture has already occurred?

Would we know it?
Maybe it happened in 2000 and we have been fighting the antichrist since then.

[kimmerspixelated]

13. I wonder that myself!

[kestrel91316]

24. Yeah. And we never noticed when all the true Christians got

whisked up to Jesusland, because there were only three of them.

[MGKrebs]

25. Or maybe they were all Jews from WWll.

I especially like this rapture quote from Christ-ian scripture:

"It will be just like this on the day the Son of Man is revealed. On that day no one who is on the roof of his house, with his goods inside, should go down to get them. Likewise, no one in the field should go back for anything. Remember Lot's wife! Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it. I tell you, on that night two people will be in one bed; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding grain together; one will be taken and the other left." (Luke 17:30-35)

[TlalocW]

9. Question: Why do they talk about the second coming of Jesus?

Hasn't he technically already been on Earth twice? According to the Bible, he was born, lived about 33 years, and died. He went away. Then 3 days later, he came back. Isn't that the second coming?

TlalocW

[leftofthedial]

11. (that kind of) religion is mental illness

[billybob537]

12. Show me the rapture in the bible

Go ahead I dare you. IT'S not there IT doesn't exist.

[kimmerspixelated]

15. People like that forget

that Jesus never read the Bible. He was all about "Love". Not War, Torture or throwing stones at those who didn't believe like himself.

[yardwork]

14. Is the percent who believe in the Rapture really 20% of U.S. Christians?

Really??? 20% of U.S. Christians believe that the Rapture could happen at any time???!!!!

I'm series. That is hugh. We're screwn.

[helderheid]

16. reminds me of those hale bopp people

[rateyes]

17. I'd like to kickTim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins

on their left behinds. (and their right ones, too.) It's amazing what trash people will pick up to read.

[bain_sidhe]

19. Best. Story. EVAR about the Rapture

From a fairly new online SF webzine that has put out a lot of really good stuff...

"Going to See the Beast" by William Sanders

How me and Joe Bob got Left Behind and wound up meeting the Antichrist his own self.

http://www.helixsf.com/archives/Jul06/fiction/Q1_sanders_beast.htm

Just a *tiny* little teaser:

I still remember the day it all started. Me and my cousin Joe Bob was just walking down the street in Fort Worth when all of a sudden there was all these people flying up through the air. Just sailing straight up towards the sky, easy as you please, and ever single one of them buck bare ass naked. It was the prettiest sight I ever saw. Well, except for the men and some of the real old ones.

You could hear this music, too. Wasn't very good music, you couldn't boogie to it, mostly sounded like a bunch of horns blowing, but it was plenty loud. It kept playing while the people flew on up into the sky and then you couldn't see them no more and then it stopped.

Well, I don't mind telling you I just stood there on the sidewalk with my mouth hanging open through the whole thing and then some. I didn't know what to think. Then it hit me.

"Joe Bob," I said, "we been left behind!"

Joe Bob didn't say nothing. I don't think he heard me. He was walking around picking up and sniffing the underpants some of the ladies had left on the sidewalk when they flew away.

[MissB]

20. bwahahahaha

:rofl:

[Clark2008]

22. This quote floors me:

"They are just liberal, socialists, really, and they don't believe the Bible," LaHaye said. "What they probably will come up with is a plausible explanation from their liberal standpoint to satisfy their adherents that are reading our series and liked it. But it will be inferior because the story will be inferior."

Um... isn't Jesus pretty much a liberal socialist? :shrug: